1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,700
All right!
2
00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:05,460
Yes! From home to the hospital
in seven minutes!
3
00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:08,820
Yes. The hard part is truly over.
4
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,140
We're off to a great start, aren't we?
5
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,860
I knew I'd get here fast,
but this has to be a record!
6
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:19,100
- Oh, you made it!
- Hi.
7
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:24,060
- How the hell did you beat us here?
- We took a cab. Did you walk?
8
00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:27,820
No, we took a cab too.
But I did test runs...
9
00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:29,540
Hey, you made it!
10
00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:34,420
Okay, is there some kind of magic
tunnel to this hospital?
11
00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:38,580
Ross, you stay here and talk.
I'm gonna go have a baby.
12
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:43,580
Okay. Hi, this is Rachel Greene. I'm
Ross Geller. We called from the car.
13
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:46,700
We have a semi-private
labor room waiting...
14
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:52,100
Oh, whoa! I'm sorry. Semi-private?
We asked for a private room.
15
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:56,380
Yes, I see that here.
We can't guarantee a private room.
16
00:00:56,540 --> 00:01:01,940
- Currently, they're all unavailable.
- Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner.
17
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:05,620
I'm sorry. Semi-private rooms
are all we have.
18
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:09,340
Okay. Just give us a second. Ross?
19
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:16,020
- Give her some money.
- I really think they're out of rooms.
20
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:20,820
They're saving them for important
people! What if I was the president?
21
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:25,780
We'd be in a lot of trouble.
You don't know where any countries are.
22
00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:27,820
Okay.
23
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:31,900
Say, would you mind checking again?
24
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:36,260
See if any private rooms
may have opened up?
25
00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:39,180
This is a hospital.
26
00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:42,660
You know what?
I don't really care for your tone.
27
00:01:42,820 --> 00:01:48,500
This is not the only hospital in the
city. We have no problem... Oh, gosh!
28
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:50,420
- What, what?
- Contraction!
29
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:51,980
Oh!
30
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:59,180
- Like to see a semi-private room?
- Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look.
31
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:01,420
The One Where Rachel Has A Baby - Part I
32
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:38,620
You're 2 centimeters dilated.
We need to get to 10,
33
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,900
- It will be a while.
- Oh, okay.
34
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:45,020
- I'll be back in an hour to check on you.
- Thank you.
35
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:49,820
- I guess we have some time to kill.
- Yeah, guess so.
36
00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:52,740
Oh, check these out.
37
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,740
Never done this before.
38
00:03:03,020 --> 00:03:06,580
Yeah, well, it looks great.
39
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:10,700
Thank you very much.
I think we're ready to...
40
00:03:16,940 --> 00:03:21,660
Hi, I'm Ross. I'm here to ruin
this magical day for you.
41
00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:25,060
Not at all. Marc Horger.
This is my wife, Julie.
42
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:28,260
- Hi, Julie. This is Rachel.
- Oh, hi, Rachel.
43
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:30,540
- Is this your first?
- It is.
44
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:33,340
Well, little Jamie here is our third.
45
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,820
So if you have any questions,
just holler.
46
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:39,860
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
47
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:46,420
- Let me give you guys some privacy.
- Nonsense. We're all in this together.
48
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:49,860
We are gonna share every
moment of this with you.
49
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,700
- I think we're gonna have some fun.
- Yeah.
50
00:03:54,020 --> 00:03:56,100
- Oh, okay, I guess.
- Hey, smile!
51
00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:58,220
- No.
- I really don't want any...
52
00:03:58,420 --> 00:03:59,500
Oh, thank you.
53
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,820
Oh, Ross!
Here comes another contraction.
54
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:06,060
Okay, just breathe...
55
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:09,660
- Oh, honey, I think I'm having one too!
- Oh, my God!
56
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:17,500
- Hey, look at this. Here you go!
- Oh, no!
57
00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:25,540
Oh, wow. Three hours and still no baby.
58
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:30,100
The miracle of birth
sure is a snooze-fest.
59
00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:35,700
- Hey, you wanna see something?
- Sure. What?
60
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,940
This will be fun.
Watch me freak out Chandler.
61
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,140
- Honey?
- Yeah?
62
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,300
Listen, I've been doing
some thinking...
63
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:48,380
...and I don't know whether
it's because we're here...
64
00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:51,180
...or Rachel's giving birth...
65
00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:55,140
...but I think we should
try to have a baby.
66
00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,460
Okay.
67
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:03,940
What's that now?
68
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:08,180
Okay. I've been thinking about it too.
I think we're ready.
69
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:13,940
Are you kidding? You think
we're ready to have a baby?
70
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,500
Oh, this is fun.
71
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:21,260
You're ready to have a baby?
My boy's all grown up!
72
00:05:21,420 --> 00:05:23,020
You said you were ready.
73
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:27,260
I was screwing with you to get
your voice high and weird...
74
00:05:27,420 --> 00:05:28,740
...like mine is now!
75
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:31,980
Yes, but haven't you
wanted a kid forever?
76
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:34,700
Okay, just back off, mister!
77
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:39,580
Because I am ready to have a baby.
78
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,220
I just want Joey to be the father.
79
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:47,540
- What? Are you crazy?
- Right there! That's all I wanted!
80
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:53,140
I'm sorry. The doctor insisted
on closing the curtain for the exam.
81
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,460
Oh, that's very...
Really, very, very okay.
82
00:05:56,660 --> 00:06:02,100
Julie's cervix is dilated seven
centimeters. That's about four fingers!
83
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:06,020
- Doctor let me feel it.
- Have you felt Rachel's?
84
00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:09,340
- No, I don't...
- We won't be doing that.
85
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:13,780
Well, you could feel Rachel's,
then feel mine to compare.
86
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:18,540
- Am I interrupting?
- Yes! Thank you! Later.
87
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:21,260
- You can't leave me with them.
- Sorry.
88
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:26,220
No, Ross, Ross? Ross?
My child has no father!
89
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:31,780
I'm so glad you're here, but it's gonna
be a while. I wish you'd called first.
90
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:34,460
I'm coming back later with your father.
91
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:38,620
- I need to talk to you before the birth.
- Okay. What's up?
92
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:41,620
I brought something
that I want to give you.
93
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:44,940
Assuming, of course, that you want it.
94
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:48,620
Ma, you're asking me to marry you?
95
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,900
Your grandma's engagement ring,
I want you to give it to Rachel.
96
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:57,460
- Mom, no. Come on. Thank you...
- Just hear me out...
97
00:06:57,620 --> 00:07:02,020
No! Okay? We're not getting
married because she's pregnant.
98
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:08,580
Honestly, this isn't just some girl
you picked up in a bar and humped.
99
00:07:11,020 --> 00:07:12,900
A child should have a family.
100
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,660
I can't deal with this now. I'm sorry.
101
00:07:15,820 --> 00:07:19,660
Think about it. If you don't,
I'll talk more about humping.
102
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:21,620
Give me that.
103
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:25,460
- Hi, dear.
- Hi. Thank you so much for coming.
104
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:28,420
Ross, get in here!
105
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:36,980
She dragged me out of the labor room
to ask me why I'm not with Rachel.
106
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:42,140
- Why aren't you with Rachel?
- Are you kidding?
107
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:46,100
We're not gonna be together
because we're having a baby!
108
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,460
It seems you belong together.
109
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:52,460
I can't deal with this right now.
I have to go have a baby.
110
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:55,140
Right. And with who again?
111
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:59,500
He's crazy. Why doesn't
he wanna be with Rachel?
112
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,700
I know.
113
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:05,100
She's like the perfect woman.
I know she turned me down...
114
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:10,380
...but if she wanted to be with me,
I would take her in my arms and...
115
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:17,300
I haven't bummed you guys out
like this in a while.
116
00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:22,260
- Hey.
- Hey.
117
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,940
- Who's that?
- New people.
118
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:29,380
What happened to the Disgustingtons?
119
00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:34,700
They're having their baby.
It's not fair, Ross. I got here first!
120
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:37,420
After you left, they wheeled her off.
121
00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:43,500
Not before she gave me a nice, juicy
shot of little Jamie, crowning away.
122
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:45,220
Wow. Sorry.
123
00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,940
So...
124
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,780
- Oh, gosh, a contraction.
- Yeah? Okay, okay. Just breathe.
125
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,900
- Are you looking at her?
- No!
126
00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:02,340
She's in labor.
127
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,680
I'm just gonna...
128
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,520
See? It's because you were looking,
you fat pervert.
129
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:10,040
No, no. I'm sure no one was looking.
Just want some privacy.
130
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,680
You miss your girlfriend?
131
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,240
Oh, good God! If you want
a baby so bad, just go steal it!
132
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,520
Since when are you
so crazy about babies?
133
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,880
I'm not crazy about babies.
I'm crazy about us.
134
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:33,560
What?
135
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:37,400
We talk about having
babies someday, not now...
136
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:42,560
...but I'm starting to think that we
can handle it. We're good.
137
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,320
We're really good.
138
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,680
We are pretty good.
139
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,880
But nothing has to happen
until you're ready.
140
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,480
Well, maybe I'm ready now.
141
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:58,520
I mean, it's a little scary,
but maybe it's right.
142
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,600
It's not right!
We're not ready for a kid!
143
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,840
- What?
- I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.
144
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:11,240
So we're gonna try?
I mean, we're trying?
145
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,040
We're trying to get pregnant.
146
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,520
I'm not comfortable doing
this in front of the babies.
147
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:26,880
- So when do you want to start trying?
- All right, hold on a sec.
148
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,800
- Period math?
- Yeah.
149
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,520
Well, we could start trying now.
150
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:39,160
- Right here?
- No, not here.
151
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,600
Maybe here.
152
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:45,800
We got time to kill. We're in
a building that's full of beds!
153
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,120
And it's so clean!
154
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,960
Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!
155
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,840
- It ate your money?
- No.
156
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,640
- I'll see you downstairs then.
- All right.
157
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,960
Hey, I got one! I got one!
158
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,720
- Hi.
- Hi.
159
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,360
- Oh, up or down?
- Oh. Down, please.
160
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,600
I hate to be a ball-buster,
but can I just do it?
161
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,640
- Could you press up too?
- Sure.
162
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,240
- I feel bad. I broke my leg once too.
- How did yours happen?
163
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,760
It's a long, embarrassing story.
164
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,920
Let's just say, there was a
typographical error with a sex manual.
165
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,520
- How about you?
- Car accident.
166
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:50,320
- Idiot on a cell not paying attention?
- Yeah. Me.
167
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,200
Oh, hey, that's me.
168
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,920
Hey, I take it you're
just visiting someone.
169
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:03,320
Well, if you have some time,
and you wanna visit someone else...
170
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,200
Yeah. I would like that.
171
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:10,920
- Great. I'm in room...
- Wait! What? No! Elevator! No!
172
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,640
You gotta press the button.
173
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,160
They're bringing in another woman.
174
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,440
Oh. Is she pregnant yet?
175
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:27,040
She doesn't need to be.
She'll still have the baby before I do.
176
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,640
- Oh, Ross! Another contraction.
- Oh, okay. Here, here.
177
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,440
That's it.
178
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,920
- Oh, that sounded like a bad one.
- Yeah, it was.
179
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,680
Mine haven't been so bad.
Oh, here comes one now.
180
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,640
Oh, that was a big one.
181
00:12:56,120 --> 00:13:00,360
Could you help me? The patient
I'm looking for has a broken leg.
182
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:04,720
He's in a wheelchair. He's early
to mid-30s, very attractive.
183
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:09,320
- I know who you're talking about.
- Great! What room is he in?
184
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,200
Sorry. That information is restricted.
185
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:17,800
- She's with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray.
- Dr. Drake who?
186
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:23,400
Ramoray. It's Portuguese.
We need that information. I'm a doctor.
187
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:27,520
- At this hospital?
- Damn it! We're losing precious time.
188
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:31,720
You want this man's blood
on your head... Hands!
189
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:36,600
It is essential that you tell me
what room he is staying in.
190
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,880
He's a patient of mine.
191
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,520
- He's in room 816,
- 816, Thank you.
192
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,360
- And what is his name?
- No.
193
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,280
- I think we found a place.
- Okay.
194
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,080
- Wait. Wanna set the mood a little?
- Okay.
195
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,680
- We'll dim the lights.
- Okay.
196
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,720
Or turn them out altogether.
197
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,720
No scented candles.
Okay, here. There we go.
198
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,480
Okay, okay.
Making me sterile, but okay.
199
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,120
Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait.
Do we have a condom?
200
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,440
Oh, right!
201
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,920
Yes, 98,6, You're gonna be fine.
202
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,560
This is it!
203
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,160
- That's him!
- Great. Go get him!
204
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,640
Wait a second.
Or maybe you could go in first.
205
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,240
He's not really my type.
206
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,520
Not you. Dr. Ramoray. Ask him
questions and see what he's like.
207
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:02,160
- People tell doctors everything.
- You said he's great.
208
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:06,600
Guys I meet seem nice at first,
then turn out to be big jerks.
209
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,920
- You do attract some stinkers.
- I know.
210
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,240
Dr. Long, I've been at this
for 17 hours.
211
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,880
Three women have had their babies.
212
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:21,600
Give me good news. How many
centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
213
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,840
- Three.
- Just 3?
214
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,320
I'm dilated 3!
215
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,520
We are moving along slowly.
Don't worry, you're doing great.
216
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,960
- I'll be back soon.
- Thank you.
217
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,720
I'm not waiting.
I'm gonna push this baby out.
218
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:45,600
I'm doing it. Three centimeters.
That's gotta be like this, right?
219
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:51,600
- Actually, it's more like this.
- Oh, stupid metric system.
220
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,800
Oh! Oh! Oh!
221
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,040
We'll take you straight
to the delivery room.
222
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,800
Oh, for the love of God!
223
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:08,400
I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. I have a few
routine questions I need to ask you.
224
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,760
I've been dealing with Dr. Wells.
225
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,920
I know. I'm a neurologist.
To be safe...
226
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:18,960
...Dr. Wells wanted a more
comprehensive overview. So he sent me.
227
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,680
Dr. Wells is a woman!
228
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,720
That was a test. Good response.
229
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,360
- All right. Full name?
- Clifford Burnett.
230
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,720
- Date of birth?
- November 16, 1968,
231
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,120
Age?
232
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:41,840
- Can't you figure that out?
- I'm a doctor, not a mathematician.
233
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,560
- I'm 33,
- Okay.
234
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,760
- And are you married?
- No.
235
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:55,360
Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would
you say you have commitment issues?
236
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,520
Are all the questions this personal?
237
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,160
Yes.
238
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,400
Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.
239
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,480
- Oh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry.
- Yeah.
240
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,720
Do you sleep with women
and never call them again?
241
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,840
- No.
- Excellent. Excellent.
242
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,440
And finally, are you into any weird
stuff, you know, sexually?
243
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,840
- No!
- Wrong answer.
244
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,720
- What else? What else?
- He's 33,
245
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,520
- A widower.
- Oh!
246
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:39,000
He seemed like a standup guy. And
he's not into anything weird sexually.
247
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,520
Enter Pheebs!
248
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,320
- This room's available.
- Okay! Wait, listen to me!
249
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,840
Since I've been waiting,
four women...
250
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,520
...one higher than the centimeters
I'm dilated...
251
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:59,800
...have come and gone with their babies.
I'm next. My turn. It's only fair.
252
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:05,040
If you bring in one more woman who has
her baby before me, I will sue you.
253
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:09,360
Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you.
My husband is a lawyer.
254
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,200
- Rach?
- You get back on that case, honey!
255
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,320
I don't think the next
patient is far along.
256
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,960
Okay. Well, then bring her in.
257
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:33,000
Oh, my God!
258
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,920
I can't believe this!
259
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,760
And yet, somehow, it's true.
260
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,720
I mean, this is so great.
We're gonna be baby buddies!
261
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,200
Squeeze your legs together,
cover the baby's ears.
262
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,680
- Hi, sweetie!
- Hi, sweetheart.
263
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:13,520
This is my husband, Sid.
I don't think you've met him.
264
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:19,160
I nabbed him at the dermatologist's.
Thank God for adult acne!
265
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,120
I can't believe it.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
266
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,040
Really?
267
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,040
What did he say?
268
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,920
You have to speak loudly,
he's almost completely deaf.
269
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,400
- Oh, there you go.
- Of course he is.
270
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,400
Congratulations!
I didn't even know you got married.
271
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,680
- Oh, no. We didn't.
- What?
272
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:47,120
We're just having this baby together,
but that's all. You know?
273
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,000
Why?
274
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:57,160
We're just not in that place, you know?
But we're very excited about this.
275
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:00,080
Oh. Well, then shut me up.
276
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,320
Just tell me how.
277
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,920
Oh, I feel another one coming.
278
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,040
[ENGLISH]
279
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,600
"Previously on" Friends:
280
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,800
I've been at this for 17 hours.
281
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,080
- How many centimeters am I dilated?
- Three.
282
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,600
Just three? I'm dilated three!
283
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,840
- We talk about having babies someday.
- We're gonna try?
284
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:38,240
- Right here?
- No, not here.
285
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,520
Maybe here.
286
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,240
Your grandma's engagement ring,
I want you to give it to Rachel.
287
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,520
- Mom, no.
- This isn't some girl...
288
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,760
...you picked up in a bar
and humped.
289
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,200
I take it you're just visiting someone?
290
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,520
- Wanna visit someone else?
- I would like that.
291
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,560
- That's him.
- Great. Go get him!
292
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,440
Maybe you could go in first.
293
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,280
I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray.
I have a few routine questions.
294
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,880
Do you sleep with women
and never call them again?
295
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:14,240
Oh, my God!
296
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,680
Should we tell Rachel there's an empty
room right next to hers?
297
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,840
We could. Or we could have sex in it.
298
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,880
Well, let me think about that.
While I remove my pants!
299
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:42,080
Okay, mister! Fertilize me!
300
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,520
Does that sound like Janice?
301
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,480
If it's not, then there's two of them.
302
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,240
And that would mean
it's the end of the world!
303
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,920
The One Where Rachel has a Baby - Part II
304
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,720
Hey.
305
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:41,880
- Hey.
- Hi.
306
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,120
I can't believe this is taking so long.
How are you?
307
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:51,160
Not bad. You know that feeling, trying
to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
308
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,160
Weirdest thing. Did I hear...?
309
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,720
Mother of God, it's true!
310
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:03,040
Chandler Bing!
311
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,160
Janice.
312
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:09,840
Not just Janice. Janice in labor.
Contracting and everything.
313
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,440
Oh, this should be easy.
I have a very wide pelvis.
314
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,000
You remember, Chandler.
315
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,400
I didn't know you were pregnant.
316
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:25,160
Who's the unwitting human
whose essence you've stolen?
317
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,520
It's you.
318
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,880
This is yours.
319
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,640
What?
320
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:37,680
Look how nervous he gets!
We haven't slept together in years!
321
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:43,520
That's funny. Does it hurt?
Does the labor hurt?
322
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,840
Okay, I have one.
If you had to, which would you eat?
323
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,240
A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
324
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,760
I'd have to say the talking gorilla.
325
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:03,520
'Cause at least I could explain to him
that you're making me eat him.
326
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,480
- Oh. Somebody went to college.
- Yeah.
327
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,760
Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.
328
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,840
I'm sorry. My foot itches like crazy.
329
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,640
Oh. I'll get it.
330
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:21,480
I usually get to know a girl better
before I let her spoon me.
331
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,800
Relax. It's not like we're forking.
332
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:36,360
Oh, that's five, Ross.
Five women have had five babies...
333
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,880
...and I have had no babies.
334
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,760
Why doesn't she want to come out?
335
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,800
I think you made such a nice
home for her...
336
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:49,080
...the last nine months,
that she just doesn't want to leave.
337
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:54,960
Oh, look at you making up crap for me.
338
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,120
- Oh, God.
- Okay. Okay.
339
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,760
Twenty-one hours. You're a hero.
340
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,200
Do something! Get me drugs...
341
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:08,240
...or you light a fire up in there
and just smoke it out!
342
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,960
I think you're ready to go
to the delivery room.
343
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,120
What?
344
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,520
Ten centimeters.
You're about to become a mom.
345
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,040
Oh, my God. Okay.
346
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,440
Beat you, sucker! Oh, baby.
347
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:37,040
Oh, my God! That's the doctor
who was in my room before.
348
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:42,200
Oh. Okay, Mr. Percocet.
349
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:46,800
I'm telling you, the guy
from that show was here...
350
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,880
...asking me all these weird questions.
351
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,040
Do you really believe that a character
from a TV show was here?
352
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,600
Rachel's having her baby!
353
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,920
That's him! You know him?
354
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,040
Okay. Okay. L... Okay.
355
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:09,080
I sent my friend, Joey,
in here to find out stuff about you.
356
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:13,000
If it, you know, if it helps,
you came off great.
357
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,720
A lot better than I'm coming off
right now.
358
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,880
I don't believe this. You had him
pretend he was a fake doctor?
359
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,520
Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
360
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:31,200
- You tried making me think I was crazy?
- That was wrong. I'm so sorry.
361
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:35,480
It's just that I liked you so much.
Can we just start over?
362
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:36,760
I don't think so.
363
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:41,760
If I may? You told me a lot
of personal stuff about you, right?
364
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:46,760
Now, maybe it would help if you knew
some personal stuff about her.
365
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,200
She was married to a gay ice dancer.
366
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,600
She gave birth to her
brother's triplets.
367
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:01,520
Her twin sister used to do porn.
368
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,640
- We're trying to dial down the crazy.
- Right.
369
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,080
We don't know each other,
so it'd be easy to forget this...
370
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:16,240
...but there's something between us.
I don't know about you...
371
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,960
...but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
372
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,640
- It doesn't happen to me, either.
- Me, neither!
373
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:31,040
Push. Push. We're gonna push
for five more seconds.
374
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,880
Five, four...
375
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,280
Three, two, one! Oh!
376
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:39,160
The next contraction will be
in 20 seconds.
377
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,120
- I can't push anymore!
- You're doing great.
378
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,360
Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
379
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,800
Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
380
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,720
- Come on.
- Push. Wait.
381
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,400
- I see something.
- What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
382
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,600
- Don't say "Oh, my God!" What?!
- What is that?
383
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,200
The baby's buttocks. She's breech.
384
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,440
- I thought she had two heads.
- Oh, God!
385
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:04,760
Will she be okay?
386
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,360
- She'll be fine.
- Yeah.
387
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,600
She's in a difficult position,
so push hard.
388
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,000
- Okay.
- Go. Come on. Go! Go!
389
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,040
You'll have to push harder.
390
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,600
- I'm sorry, I can't! I can't!
- Yes, you can. I know you can do this.
391
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,960
I can't do it.
Please, you do it for me!
392
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:29,400
Let's go. One more time.
One final push. Ready? One, two, three.
393
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,760
Good.
394
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,480
Keep pushing!
395
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,040
Are you okay?
396
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:42,600
You have no idea how much this hurts.
397
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,720
Keep going! Keep going!
398
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,200
Here we go!
399
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,240
She's upside down, but she's coming!
400
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,960
- Oh, God!
- Oh! Oh, my God!
401
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,960
Oh, my God, she's here.
402
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,840
Oh, she's perfect.
403
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:07,840
Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny.
404
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,800
- Where'd she go?
- They're just wrapping her up.
405
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:20,080
Okay. Well, be careful with her,
she's really tiny.
406
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,760
Here she is.
407
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,600
Oh, thanks for coming out of me.
408
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,480
I know. Oh.
409
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:51,880
She's looking at me. Hi. I know you.
410
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,440
- Do we have a name yet?
- No, not yet.
411
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,080
Fine. For now we'll just
call her Baby Girl Greene.
412
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,720
Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller-Greene.
413
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,880
Hello, Baby Girl.
414
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,520
- Can we come in?
- Oh, come on in.
415
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,280
- Oh, there she is.
- Oh, she's so beautiful.
416
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,920
Here.
417
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:40,000
Oh, my God. She's amazing.
418
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,920
Oh, I'm so glad you guys got drunk
and had sex.
419
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,520
It's incredible. I mean,
one minute she's inside you...
420
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,720
...and then 47 hours later,
here she is.
421
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,760
She looks so real.
422
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,000
You know what I mean.
423
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,480
- Okay, my turn. My turn.
- Aunt Phoebe.
424
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:10,560
Oh, baby. Oh, you're so cute!
425
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,600
Oh, I could squeeze your little head.
426
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,120
I won't.
427
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:23,040
- Honey, what's the matter?
- Nothing. I just can't stop crying.
428
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,920
The doctor said it's normal,
plus you're sleep-deprived.
429
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,160
You guys are all sleep-deprived.
430
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:34,240
I don't see you weeping because you
put your slippers on the wrong feet.
431
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,240
Oh, God.
432
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,800
- What's the matter now?
- I was reliving it.
433
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,640
Do you know what you're gonna
call her yet?
434
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:49,920
Wait, it's not gonna be Baby Girl?
I thought that was so original.
435
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,400
Actually, we've narrowed it
down to two.
436
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:59,320
And you know what? I love them both.
So just pick one, and that'll be it.
437
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:05,000
Wow, okay. Everyone?
438
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:09,040
This is Isabella.
439
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,960
- Hi, Isabella!
- Hi.
440
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:16,600
What?
441
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,480
That's not her name.
442
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,040
I'm sorry, she just doesn't feel
like an Isabella.
443
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,520
- What was the other one?
- Delilah.
444
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:30,360
Oh, great! At least she
sounds like a biblical whore.
445
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,680
So, I guess we're back to Baby Girl.
446
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,440
What will we do?
447
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,280
- You'll find a name.
- Easy for you to say.
448
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,160
You know what your
kids' names will be.
449
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:49,520
- You do?
- I had them picked out since I was 14,
450
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:54,520
Oh, no, it's gonna be named after
some snack or baked good, isn't it?
451
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:02,520
- Well, tell us, what are they?
- Okay. If it's a boy, it's Daniel.
452
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,920
- And if it's a girl?
- I don't want to say.
453
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:10,040
Oh, stop. Tell us.
We're not gonna want it.
454
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,560
Okay. It's Emma.
455
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,680
Emma.
456
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,200
See, I don't want it.
457
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,320
- Take it.
- What?
458
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:31,480
She's clearly an Emma.
459
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,880
Oh, honey, but you love that name.
460
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,480
Yeah. But I love you more.
461
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:44,560
Besides, nothing goes with Bing.
So I'm screwed.
462
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:55,440
Aaron Lipman-Guralnick would like
to say hello to his future bride.
463
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,680
Oh.
464
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,960
Wow, he kind of takes your breath away,
doesn't he?
465
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,760
He's a keeper.
466
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:14,680
- How are you feeling?
- Oh, I'm fine.
467
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:21,440
I really admire what you're doing.
Just raising her all alone.
468
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,080
I'm not doing it alone. I have Ross.
469
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:29,520
Sure. Now. But what happens when he
meets somebody else and gets married?
470
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,840
Well, then he gets a divorce.
It's Ross.
471
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,720
I'm telling you. Listen to Janice.
472
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:44,840
They all say they're gonna be there,
until they start their real family.
473
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:49,280
- That's never gonna happen with Ross.
- That's what I thought.
474
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:53,480
I'm lucky if my kid gets to spend
a weekend with her father...
475
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,960
...and little Miss New Boobs.
476
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,800
Really?
477
00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:01,440
I hate to be the one to say it...
478
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:06,480
...but, honey, you two are on your own.
479
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,320
Well, that's, you know, that's...
480
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:14,640
We've been alone for the last
20 minutes and we're doing okay.
481
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,400
Maybe we won't be alone.
482
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:22,360
Because lately things have been
happening between me and Ross.
483
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:27,040
And right before I went into labor,
we had this kiss. You know?
484
00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:32,920
So it might be the beginning
of something.
485
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,080
- Hey, Janice.
- Oh, hi.
486
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,520
Who's this little guy?
487
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,960
- Aaron, your future son-in-law.
- Oh, no, no.
488
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,520
- I'm gonna leave you three alone.
- Okay.
489
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,120
Man, you see the kid on that nose?
490
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,040
You know what I was thinking about?
491
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:07,000
That kiss before we left the apartment.
That was something, huh?
492
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,960
Yeah. Yeah, it really was.
493
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,760
But we, we gotta be careful.
494
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:18,120
We... You know, we can't let
that happen again, you know?
495
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,560
Right.
496
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:28,000
- We don't want to go down that road.
- No. That's why I brought it up.
497
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:35,040
- They didn't have any sodas?
- Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
498
00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:39,120
I was talking to this nurse.
Completely forgot.
499
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,560
And so it begins.
500
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:50,960
She in there?
501
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,520
Yeah. She's putting her down now.
That's her.
502
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:59,280
- Look at Emma.
- I can't decide who she looks like.
503
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:03,640
Oh, what, are you kidding?
She's gorgeous! It's all Rachel.
504
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:12,480
I'm sorry. For the last time,
why aren't you two together again?
505
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,480
No, I know.
Because you're not in that place.
506
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,680
Which would be fine,
except you totally are.
507
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,400
It's complicated, okay?
508
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:28,360
You love her, you always have,
you have a child together.
509
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,840
There's no right answer.
510
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:37,080
Look, we've been together.
Then apart. Then together, then apart.
511
00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:40,120
And now we have a baby.
512
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:46,920
It's just, if we got together again
and it didn't work out?
513
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,560
I could never do that to Emma.
514
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:57,720
I mean, she came into this world
thinking everything... Now me.
515
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,520
What, do they put something
in the water here?
516
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,480
It's just, Rachel and I,
we're doing really well now.
517
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,320
I know. If you try to make it more,
you might wreck it.
518
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,280
- Yeah, exactly.
- Right.
519
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,880
Or you might get everything
you've wanted since you were 15,
520
00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:28,120
Hey.
521
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,720
I saw a woman breastfeeding
twins at the same time.
522
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,520
It is like a freak show up here.
523
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,000
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
524
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:38,720
What is it? Hey?
525
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:43,040
- Really, it's nothing. I'm...
- Rach, come on. What?
526
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:48,680
I've just been thinking about how
my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
527
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,800
What are you talking about?
What about Ross?
528
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:57,920
Please. He'll be with his real family.
The twins and little Miss New Boobs.
529
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,160
Okay, how long
was I watching that woman?
530
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,240
I'm just saying that, you know...
531
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,440
...someday Ross is gonna
meet somebody...
532
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,360
...and he's gonna have his own life.
533
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:11,840
Right?
534
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,720
Yeah, I guess so.
535
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:21,760
I just never thought I'd be raising
this baby all by myself.
536
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,600
That's pretty dumb, huh?
537
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,800
Hey, you listen to me. Listen to me.
538
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,960
You are never, ever gonna be alone.
539
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:35,680
Okay? I promise I
won't let that happen.
540
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:42,320
Joey. Oh, sweetie,
what would I do without you?
541
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,920
You don't have to worry about that,
okay?
542
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,360
Could you grab me my other box
of tissues?
543
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,960
- They're under Ross' coat.
- Sure.
544
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,960
Oh, my God!
545
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,400
Joey?
546
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,840
Oh, my God.
547
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,880
Okay.
548
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,080
- That was amazing.
- I know.
549
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:04,560
Hey, do you realize that we may have
just changed our lives forever?
550
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:08,840
We may have started our family.
In nine months we could be here...
551
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,160
...having our own baby.
552
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,720
And if not, we got to do it
on a bucket.
553
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:20,360
[ENGLISH]
|
1
00:00:04,316 --> 00:00:05,578
Отлично.
2
00:00:05,817 --> 00:00:09,480
Да! От дома до роддома меньше
семи минут. Мы сделали это.
3
00:00:09,688 --> 00:00:12,987
Мда, самое трудное, определённо, позади.
4
00:00:13,492 --> 00:00:16,461
Нет, но будет тебе, всё начинается
как нельзя лучше, правда?
5
00:00:16,628 --> 00:00:20,325
Я полагаю, что можно было и быстрее,
но и здесь должно быть что-то вроде рекорда.
6
00:00:20,632 --> 00:00:23,726
- О, вы добрались.
- Привет.
7
00:00:24,202 --> 00:00:28,901
- Как, чёрт подери, вам удалось нас обогнать?
- Мы добрались на такси. А вы что, пешком?
8
00:00:29,074 --> 00:00:32,805
Нет, мы тоже приехали на такси.
Но я сделал тестовые забеги.
9
00:00:33,312 --> 00:00:34,609
Привет, вы таки добрались.
10
00:00:35,647 --> 00:00:39,708
Ладно, здесь что, какой-то магический
туннель прямо в больницу?
11
00:00:40,118 --> 00:00:44,020
Росс, ты можешь стоять здесь и болтать.
Я поехала рожать.
12
00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:49,250
Хорошо. Привет, это Рэйчел Грин.
Я Росс Геллер. Мы звонили с машины.
13
00:00:49,428 --> 00:00:52,488
Верно. У нас есть палата ожидания
на двоих для вас, так что...
14
00:00:52,664 --> 00:00:58,125
О, погодите-ка. Извините. На двоих?
Мы просили отдельную палату.
15
00:00:58,337 --> 00:01:02,603
Да, я вижу. К сожалению, мы не можем
гарантировать отдельную палату.
16
00:01:02,774 --> 00:01:08,371
- И теперь они все недоступны.
- Эх, если бы ты только пришёл раньше.
17
00:01:08,614 --> 00:01:12,209
Мне очень жаль. Палаты на двоих -
это всё, что у нас есть.
18
00:01:12,384 --> 00:01:16,115
Хорошо. Мы на минутку. Росс?
19
00:01:17,389 --> 00:01:18,617
Да?
20
00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:23,056
- Дай ей денег.
- Мне действительно кажется, что у них нет палат.
21
00:01:23,261 --> 00:01:26,230
Палаты есть, Росс. Просто их
берегут для важных персон.
22
00:01:26,398 --> 00:01:28,059
Хорошо? Что, если бы я была президентом?
23
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:33,260
Ну, тогда бы у нас были большие проблемы.
Ты же не знаешь где какая страна находится.
24
00:01:33,839 --> 00:01:35,363
Ладно.
25
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,637
Скажите, вы можете ещё раз проверить?
26
00:01:39,845 --> 00:01:44,179
Посмотреть, может какая-нибудь
отдельная палата освободилась?
27
00:01:45,217 --> 00:01:47,208
Это больница.
28
00:01:47,853 --> 00:01:52,347
Ладно, я понимаю.
А могу я поговорить с вашим менеджером, пожалуйста?
29
00:01:53,058 --> 00:01:54,355
Здесь нет менеджера.
30
00:01:54,526 --> 00:01:58,121
Только медсёстры, врачи
и палаты на двоих.
31
00:01:58,296 --> 00:02:01,732
Хорошо, знаете что? Должна сказать,
мне плевать на ваш тон.
32
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:07,805
И это не единственная больница в городе,
и не будет проблемой...Ох, чёрт.
33
00:02:07,973 --> 00:02:09,804
- Что? Что?
- Схватки.
34
00:02:13,679 --> 00:02:18,946
- Не желаете взглянуть на палату на двоих?
- Да, взглянуть - это не будет больно.
35
00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:59,083
Итак, матка раскрылась всего на два
сантиметра, а нужно на десять.
36
00:02:59,357 --> 00:03:01,450
- Это займёт какое-то время.
- Ох, хорошо.
37
00:03:01,626 --> 00:03:04,754
- Я приду и снова вас проверю.
- Спасибо.
38
00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:07,592
О, подождите, Доктор Лонг.
Могу я у вас кое-что спросить?
39
00:03:07,766 --> 00:03:11,031
Роды - это правда так больно,
как все говорят?
40
00:03:11,203 --> 00:03:13,763
Ой, посмотрите.
Мой пейджер сходит с ума.
41
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:18,065
Эй, не...Знаешь, что?
У тебя всё получится.
42
00:03:19,745 --> 00:03:24,011
- Я думаю, нам нужно как-то убить время.
- Ага, думаю да.
43
00:03:24,182 --> 00:03:27,049
О, посмотри на это.
44
00:03:34,726 --> 00:03:37,490
Никогда этого не делал.
45
00:03:39,965 --> 00:03:42,126
Ощущения не из лучших.
46
00:03:42,534 --> 00:03:46,231
Да, хотя выглядит здорово.
47
00:03:46,404 --> 00:03:50,534
Спасибо большое.
Я думаю, мы готовы...
48
00:03:57,048 --> 00:04:01,985
Привет, я Росс. Я здесь, чтобы
разрушить ваш волшебный день.
49
00:04:02,187 --> 00:04:05,520
Ой, да ладно. Всё нормально. Марк Хоргер.
Это моя жена, Джулия.
50
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:08,853
- Привет, Джулия. Это Рэйчел.
- О, привет, Рэйчел.
51
00:04:09,027 --> 00:04:11,222
- Это твой первый?
- Да.
52
00:04:11,396 --> 00:04:14,160
Да, а наш маленький Джейми будет уже третьим.
53
00:04:14,366 --> 00:04:17,802
Так что, если у тебя будут вопросы, или что-нибудь
будет нужно, просто кричи.
54
00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:20,938
- Так мило.
- Да.
55
00:04:22,741 --> 00:04:27,974
- Давайте я оставлю вас наедине.
- Чушь. Мы здесь все ради одного.
56
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:31,547
Мы будем делиться каждым
мгновением этого с вами.
57
00:04:31,716 --> 00:04:35,550
- Я думаю, будет весело.
- Ага.
58
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,881
- О, хорошо. Я считаю.
- Эй, улыбайтесь.
59
00:04:38,056 --> 00:04:40,081
- Я не знаю, если...
- Я в самом деле не хочу ничего...
60
00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:41,417
О, спасибо.
61
00:04:42,727 --> 00:04:45,924
Ой, Росс.
Сейчас начнутся схватки.
62
00:04:46,097 --> 00:04:48,258
Хорошо, просто дыши.
63
00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:52,027
- Ой, милый, мне кажется у меня тоже.
- Боже ты мой.
64
00:04:55,473 --> 00:04:57,941
Эй, взгляни-ка.
65
00:04:58,343 --> 00:05:00,208
- Вот так вот.
- О нет.
66
00:05:09,187 --> 00:05:11,883
Ох, ничего себе. Три часа, а ребёнка ещё нет.
67
00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:16,652
Чудо рождения, определённо
какой-то праздник сна.
68
00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:22,465
- О, хочешь увидеть кое-что?
- Конечно. Что?
69
00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:25,864
Будет весело.
Смотри, как я напугаю Чендлера.
70
00:05:26,037 --> 00:05:28,130
- Дорогой?
- Да?
71
00:05:28,306 --> 00:05:31,434
Слушай, я тут подумала...
72
00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:35,703
...и я не знаю, то ли это потому,
что мы здесь...
73
00:05:35,881 --> 00:05:38,611
... то ли потому, что Рэйчел рожает...
74
00:05:38,783 --> 00:05:42,742
...но я думаю, нам нужно
попробовать зачать ребёнка.
75
00:05:46,391 --> 00:05:48,291
Хорошо.
76
00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:51,923
Что это было?
77
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:56,325
Хорошо. Я тоже об этом думал
и думаю, мы готовы.
78
00:05:58,703 --> 00:06:02,332
Ты шутишь? Ты думаешь, мы готовы
для рождения ребёнка уже сейчас?
79
00:06:02,574 --> 00:06:03,973
А это весело.
80
00:06:06,077 --> 00:06:09,979
Ты уже созрел для ребёнка?
Мой мальчик стал мужчиной.
81
00:06:10,148 --> 00:06:11,809
Ты же сказала, что тоже готова.
82
00:06:11,983 --> 00:06:16,249
Да, но сейчас я пыталась напугать тебя,
чтобы ты кричал тут и волновался...
83
00:06:16,421 --> 00:06:17,786
...прямо как я сейчас.
84
00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:20,990
Да, но разве ты не хотела детей
с тех пор как, скажем, родилась?
85
00:06:21,159 --> 00:06:24,595
Да, но никто никогда не хотел детей
от меня. Я имею в виду...
86
00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:28,824
Сейчас я могу родить ребёнка как
только захочу. Что ты делаешь со мной?
87
00:06:30,368 --> 00:06:32,336
Извини, что я заговорил об этом.
88
00:06:33,505 --> 00:06:36,133
Ладно, отойдите от меня, сэр.
89
00:06:38,543 --> 00:06:41,512
Потому что я готова зачать ребёнка.
90
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,240
Я просто хочу, чтобы Джоуи был отцом.
91
00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:49,783
- Что? Ты с ума сошла?
- Это как раз то, чего я добивалась.
92
00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:56,218
Извините. Доктор настаивала на закрытии
занавески для осмотра.
93
00:06:56,394 --> 00:06:59,693
Та ничего...
Серьёзно, всё нормально.
94
00:06:59,898 --> 00:07:05,564
Матка Джулии расширилась на семь
сантиметров. Это почти как четыре пальца.
95
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:09,671
- Доктор дала мне потрогать самому.
- Росс, а ты уже трогал матку Рэйчел?
96
00:07:09,874 --> 00:07:13,139
- Нет, я не...Мы не будем этого делать.
- Да, мы не будем этого делать.
97
00:07:13,311 --> 00:07:17,771
Ну тогда, если захочешь, ты можешь потрогать
у Рэйчел, а потом у меня для сравнения.
98
00:07:17,983 --> 00:07:22,716
- Я не помешала?
- Да.Спасибо. Позже.
99
00:07:22,921 --> 00:07:25,549
- Нет, ты не можешь оставить меня наедине с ними.
- Прости.
100
00:07:25,724 --> 00:07:30,718
Нет, Росс! Росс? Росс?
У моего ребёнка нет отца.
101
00:07:30,895 --> 00:07:36,527
Я так рад, что ты здесь, но всё не случится скоро
Лучше бы ты позвонила сначала.
102
00:07:36,735 --> 00:07:39,329
Всё нормально.
Я приеду позже с твоим отцом.
103
00:07:39,504 --> 00:07:43,668
- Мне нужно было поговорить с тобой до родов.
- Хорошо. В чём дело?
104
00:07:43,908 --> 00:07:46,877
Росс, я хочу с тобой поговорить
как твоя мать...
105
00:07:47,045 --> 00:07:50,845
...даже несмотря на то, что я знаю, что
мы с тобой также близкие друзья.
106
00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:56,543
На самом деле, я не знаю
о чём ты, но ладно.
107
00:07:56,721 --> 00:07:59,281
Я взяла с собой кое-что для тебя.
108
00:07:59,457 --> 00:08:03,120
Предполагая, естественно,
что ты будешь не против.
109
00:08:03,795 --> 00:08:06,958
Мам, ты что, предлагаешь на тебе жениться?
110
00:08:08,099 --> 00:08:12,468
Это кольцо твоей бабушки.
Я хочу, чтобы ты дал его Рэйчел.
111
00:08:12,704 --> 00:08:16,162
- Мам, нет. Перестань. Спасибо.
- Просто послушай меня.
112
00:08:16,341 --> 00:08:18,002
Нет! Хорошо?
Мы уже это проходили.
113
00:08:18,176 --> 00:08:21,145
Мы не собираемся жениться просто
из-за того, что она беременна. Хорошо?
114
00:08:21,312 --> 00:08:27,581
Честное слово, Росс, она не просто какая-нибудь
там девушка, которую ты снял в баре и чпокнул.
115
00:08:30,355 --> 00:08:34,689
На самом деле, подростки не говорят это
слово так часто, как тебе кажется.
116
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:38,020
Росс, у ребёнка должна быть семья.
117
00:08:38,229 --> 00:08:40,925
Знаешь что? Я не могу обсуждать
это прямо сейчас. Извини.
118
00:08:41,099 --> 00:08:42,532
Иди...О, иди поговори с Моникой.
119
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:45,362
У неё новая прическа.
Тебе не понравится.
120
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:50,466
Просто подумай об этом. Если нет,
я буду чаще говорить про чпокание.
121
00:08:50,675 --> 00:08:52,506
Дай.
122
00:08:53,078 --> 00:08:56,514
- Привет, дорогуша.
- Здравствуйте. Спасибо, что пришли.
123
00:08:56,748 --> 00:08:59,615
Росс, быстро сюда.
124
00:09:04,989 --> 00:09:06,456
Хочешь увидеть кое-что смешное?
125
00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:08,591
Моника.
126
00:09:10,495 --> 00:09:13,328
Ладно. Хорошо, прекрати.
Ты меня пугаешь.
127
00:09:13,498 --> 00:09:15,261
Сделай ещё раз. Сделай ещё раз.
128
00:09:16,568 --> 00:09:18,399
Привет, Рэйчел родила.
129
00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:20,037
- Что?
- Правда?
130
00:09:20,205 --> 00:09:21,229
Нет.
131
00:09:23,508 --> 00:09:25,476
Я не знаю, почему я думал,
что это будет смешно.
132
00:09:27,212 --> 00:09:29,146
Ты поздоровалась с мамой
до того как она ушла, да?
133
00:09:29,314 --> 00:09:31,373
Я так и знала, что это была она.
134
00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:34,780
Да, я позвала её, но
она убежала по лестнице.
135
00:09:34,953 --> 00:09:37,114
Ладно, знаешь что?
Считай, что тебе повезло.
136
00:09:37,288 --> 00:09:40,849
Она вытащила меня из палаты ожидания,
чтобы спросить, почему мы с Рэйчел не вместе.
137
00:09:41,025 --> 00:09:42,515
- О Боже.
- Какая надоедливая.
138
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,159
Да.
139
00:09:45,563 --> 00:09:49,659
- Почему вы с Рэйчел не вместе?
- Вы шутите, да?
140
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:53,770
Слушайте, мы не собираемся быть вместе
просто потому, что у нас будет ребёнок.
141
00:09:53,938 --> 00:09:56,236
И я знаю, что она не просто
какая-то там девушка, которую я чпокнул...
142
00:09:56,407 --> 00:09:58,875
О, "чпокнул"?
143
00:09:59,377 --> 00:10:01,072
Росс, перестань.
144
00:10:03,114 --> 00:10:05,344
Но просто кажется, что вы
созданы друг для друга
145
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:09,510
Так, прекратите. Я не могу обсуждать
это прямо сейчас. Мне нужно родить ребёнка.
146
00:10:09,754 --> 00:10:12,314
Хорошо. И от кого, опять-таки?
147
00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:16,849
Он сумасшедший. Почему он
не хочет быть с Рэйчел?
148
00:10:17,061 --> 00:10:18,119
Я знаю.
149
00:10:18,296 --> 00:10:22,699
Серьёзно, она идеальная девушка.
Я понимаю - она меня отвергла...
150
00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:25,267
...но если бы она не отвергла меня,
и если бы хотела быть со мной...
151
00:10:25,436 --> 00:10:28,200
...я бы сжал её в своих объятиях и...
152
00:10:31,776 --> 00:10:35,405
Правда я вас слегка шокировал
этим, ребята?
153
00:10:39,284 --> 00:10:40,581
- Привет.
- Привет.
154
00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:43,379
- Кто это?
- Новые люди.
155
00:10:45,223 --> 00:10:48,021
Что случилось с господами Извращенцами?
156
00:10:48,193 --> 00:10:53,563
Уехали рожать.
Это нечестно, Росс. Я была первой.
157
00:10:53,731 --> 00:10:56,393
Сразу после того, как ты ушел,
они увезли её.
158
00:10:56,568 --> 00:11:02,734
Но перед этим она дала мне прекрасный,
сочный снимок маленького Джеми.
159
00:11:02,941 --> 00:11:04,533
Вау. Извини.
160
00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:07,371
Так что новые люди?
161
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:11,276
Знаешь, у них какие-то необычные
звериные имена друг для друга.
162
00:11:11,449 --> 00:11:16,751
Включая "Злая Сучка"
и "Нездоровый Ублюдок"
163
00:11:18,189 --> 00:11:22,853
- Ох, чёрт, схватки.
- Да? Хорошо, хорошо. Просто дыши.
164
00:11:23,061 --> 00:11:25,052
- Ты что, смотришь на неё?
- Нет.
165
00:11:25,263 --> 00:11:30,462
- Не смотри на неё, нездоровый ублюдок.
- Дорогая, я клянусь, я не смотрел на неё.
166
00:11:30,702 --> 00:11:35,935
Она рожает. Тебе нравится на
это смотреть, ты больной сукин сын?
167
00:11:38,743 --> 00:11:39,937
Я просто хотел...
168
00:11:40,111 --> 00:11:43,945
Видишь? Это из-за того, что
ты смотрел, жирный извращенец.
169
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:49,712
Нет, нет. Я уверен, что никто не смотрел.
Просто немного личного пространства.
170
00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:54,557
Ты скучаешь по своей девушке?
171
00:11:55,293 --> 00:11:58,126
Просто не обращай на них внимания.
172
00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:00,797
- Ты в порядке?
- Да.
173
00:12:09,741 --> 00:12:10,901
- Росс.
- Что?
174
00:12:11,075 --> 00:12:14,704
- Он уставился на меня.
- Эй.
175
00:12:14,912 --> 00:12:16,812
Ты хочешь дожить до
рождения ребёнка?
176
00:12:17,048 --> 00:12:21,314
Не смей так разговаривать с моим
мужем, безмозглый ублюдок.
177
00:12:27,592 --> 00:12:32,029
Ох, Боже ты мой, если тебе так
хочется ребёнка, иди и укради его.
178
00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:35,531
Ой, не волнуйтесь.
Эти дети для нас слишком страшненькие.
179
00:12:37,168 --> 00:12:40,501
Что с тобой такое?
С каких это пор ты без ума от детей?
180
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:45,006
Я без ума не от детей.
Я без ума от тебя.
181
00:12:46,744 --> 00:12:47,768
Что?
182
00:12:48,613 --> 00:12:51,776
Ты всегда говорила о том, что у нас
когда-то будут дети, не сейчас...
183
00:12:51,983 --> 00:12:57,182
....но я прихожу к пониманию того,
что мы справимся. Мы классные.
184
00:12:57,355 --> 00:13:00,051
Мы реально классные.
185
00:13:00,892 --> 00:13:02,519
Мы довольно классные.
186
00:13:02,727 --> 00:13:05,855
Но ничего не должно случится до тех
пор, пока ты не будешь готова.
187
00:13:07,632 --> 00:13:09,600
Хорошо, наверное я готова сейчас.
188
00:13:09,801 --> 00:13:13,794
Я имею в виду, что это немного страшно,
но наверное так и должно быть.
189
00:13:14,038 --> 00:13:17,030
Что? Мы не готовы зачать ребёнка сейчас.
190
00:13:17,408 --> 00:13:21,435
- Что?
- Я шучу. Это будет весело.
191
00:13:23,247 --> 00:13:27,081
Что ж, попробуем?
Я имею в виду, пробуем?
192
00:13:27,285 --> 00:13:30,015
Мы попробуем зачать ребёнка.
193
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:37,788
Мне как-то неуютно делать это
прямо перед детьми.
194
00:13:38,029 --> 00:13:43,399
- Когда ты хочешь начать?
- Так, секунду.
195
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:46,431
- Считаешь дни цикла?
- Ага.
196
00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:51,337
Мы можем начать пытаться сейчас.
197
00:13:51,776 --> 00:13:56,179
- Прямо здесь?
- Ну, не здесь.
198
00:13:56,347 --> 00:13:58,747
Возможно здесь.
199
00:13:58,916 --> 00:14:03,114
Идеально. Нам нужно убить уйму времени
и мы в здании, заполненной кроватями.
200
00:14:03,321 --> 00:14:05,551
И они такие чистые!
201
00:14:11,028 --> 00:14:14,088
Давай, тупая железяка, давай.
202
00:14:14,265 --> 00:14:18,133
- Она съела твои деньги?
- Нет.
203
00:14:21,339 --> 00:14:25,207
- Тогда увидимся внизу.
- Хорошо.
204
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:28,677
Эй, я достал, я достал!
205
00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:32,574
- Привет.
- Привет.
206
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:36,379
- А, вверх или вниз?
- Вниз, пожалуйста.
207
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:42,882
Ненавижу вмешиваться,
но можно я просто нажму?
208
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:48,124
- А можешь нажать "вверх" тоже?
- Конечно.
209
00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:53,967
- Мне так жаль. Я тоже ломала ногу.
- Да-а? А как это случилось?
210
00:14:54,172 --> 00:14:56,606
Что ж, это длинная история,
причём очень постыдная.
211
00:14:56,774 --> 00:15:01,973
Скажем так, там была типографическая
ошибка в учебнике по сексу.
212
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,648
- А у тебя что?
- ДТП.
213
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,683
Кое-кто отвлёкся во время
разговора по мобильному?
214
00:15:07,852 --> 00:15:09,683
Ага. Я.
215
00:15:10,588 --> 00:15:12,715
- Извини.
- Ой, не надо.
216
00:15:13,357 --> 00:15:15,985
Никто больше не пострадал.
И мне в какой-то мере повезло.
217
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,321
Я, например, рад, что вы сделали это.
218
00:15:18,496 --> 00:15:22,193
Ты уверен?
Ты же не знаешь меня.
219
00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:25,426
Может, меня прислали с другой
планеты, уничтожить Землю.
220
00:15:25,603 --> 00:15:28,265
Не смог нажать кнопку "вниз".
Думаю, Землю в порядке.
221
00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:33,301
Привет, это я.
222
00:15:34,011 --> 00:15:37,174
Будем считать, что ты
пришла кого-то навестить.
223
00:15:37,348 --> 00:15:41,751
Ну, если у тебя есть время,
и ты хочешь навестить кого-то ещё...
224
00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:43,614
Я с удовольствием.
225
00:15:43,788 --> 00:15:49,590
- Здорово. Я в палате...
- Подожди! Что? Нет! Лифт! Нет!
226
00:15:49,794 --> 00:15:53,457
Тебе нужно нажать кнопку.
227
00:15:56,434 --> 00:15:59,232
Медсестра сказала,
что сейчас привезут другую женщину.
228
00:15:59,403 --> 00:16:01,598
О. А она уже беременна?
229
00:16:01,806 --> 00:16:06,402
Ведь это необязательно. Всё равно
у неё ребёнок родится раньше, чем у меня.
230
00:16:06,577 --> 00:16:11,173
- Ох, Росс! Ещё одна схватка!
- Тише, тише.
231
00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:14,110
Всё.
232
00:16:14,285 --> 00:16:18,779
- Похоже, была сильная.
- Да, была.
233
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:23,757
Мои пока не были такими
сильными. О, вот ещё одна.
234
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:31,001
О, эта была большая.
235
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:35,666
Это было самая большая из всех.
Ты в порядке, дорогая?
236
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,068
Я в порядке, дорогой.
237
00:16:41,646 --> 00:16:45,605
У меня плохие новости.
Становится хуже.
238
00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:49,844
А ближе к концу они
становятся очень сильными...
239
00:16:50,021 --> 00:16:52,546
...и идут каждую минуту.
240
00:16:52,723 --> 00:16:56,352
Мои довольно частые.
Я думаю...
241
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:06,292
- Извините.
- Всё в порядке.
242
00:17:06,470 --> 00:17:09,769
Кстати, меня зовут Джоанна.
А Вас?
243
00:17:17,415 --> 00:17:19,906
Извините, вы могли
бы мне помочь?
244
00:17:20,084 --> 00:17:21,608
Я ищу мужчину.
245
00:17:21,786 --> 00:17:22,946
А кто не ищет?
246
00:17:25,122 --> 00:17:27,113
Вы. Вы не ищете.
247
00:17:27,992 --> 00:17:28,981
Молодец.
248
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:33,028
Так или иначе. Я ищу
пациента со сломанной ногой.
249
00:17:33,197 --> 00:17:37,566
Он в инвалидном кресле. Ему около 30-35 лет,
и он очень привлекательный.
250
00:17:37,735 --> 00:17:38,963
Даже Вам бы он показался таким.
251
00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:44,267
-я знаю о ком вы говорите
-отлично. в какой он палате?
252
00:17:44,442 --> 00:17:47,036
прошу прощения, информация о пациентах конфиденциальна
253
00:17:47,211 --> 00:17:50,009
я не собираюсь его беспокоить, мы говорили ранее...
254
00:17:50,181 --> 00:17:53,947
мэм, прошу прощения, но эта информация для персонала
больницы
255
00:17:54,118 --> 00:17:59,784
-она со мной. Доктор Дрейк Реморе.
-доктор кто?
256
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:05,623
Дрейк Реморе. нам нужна эта информация. я доктор
257
00:18:05,896 --> 00:18:09,923
-вы доктор этой больницы?
-к черту, мы теряем время
258
00:18:10,101 --> 00:18:12,069
ты хочешь чтобы кровь была на твоей голове...?
259
00:18:12,236 --> 00:18:14,295
-руках
-руках
260
00:18:14,472 --> 00:18:19,307
необходимо, чтобы вы сказали мне в какой он комнате
261
00:18:19,477 --> 00:18:21,809
это мой пациент. я слежу за ним много лет
262
00:18:21,979 --> 00:18:24,504
-он в палате 816.
-816, спасибо
263
00:18:24,682 --> 00:18:27,480
-и как его имя?
-не скажу
264
00:18:40,398 --> 00:18:43,834
-я думаю мы нашли
-отлично
265
00:18:46,971 --> 00:18:48,836
погоди. хочешь немного поднять настроение?
266
00:18:50,508 --> 00:18:52,442
привет, Моника
267
00:18:54,178 --> 00:18:56,578
-не так.
-ладно
268
00:18:56,747 --> 00:18:59,272
-затемни свет
-хорошо
269
00:18:59,450 --> 00:19:02,442
или выключить его
270
00:19:03,387 --> 00:19:07,653
нет ароматичеких свечей
ладно, вот так
271
00:19:07,825 --> 00:19:11,591
все, все. простерилизовал меня, но ладно
272
00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:20,600
прошу прощения. подождите, а у нас есть презерватив?
273
00:19:21,138 --> 00:19:23,038
точно
274
00:19:30,848 --> 00:19:33,874
да, 36,6. вы будете в порядке
275
00:19:37,488 --> 00:19:38,785
это тут
276
00:19:39,924 --> 00:19:42,552
-это он
-отлично. иди заполучи его
277
00:19:43,294 --> 00:19:47,196
погоди секунду. или может ты сможешь пойти первым?
278
00:19:47,364 --> 00:19:49,924
он не в моем вкусе
279
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:54,367
не ты. доктор Реморе. задай ему вопрос и узнаем
что он любит
280
00:19:54,572 --> 00:19:58,167
-люди рассказывают докторам все
-ты сказала он хороший парень
281
00:19:58,375 --> 00:20:02,812
все парни, которых я встречаю, кажутся хорошими
на первый взгляд. потом они становятся придурками
282
00:20:03,013 --> 00:20:06,278
-ты привлекаешь мерзких типов
-я знаю
283
00:20:07,218 --> 00:20:10,779
доктор Лонг, я тут уже 17 часов
284
00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:13,515
три женщины пришли и ушли со своими детьми
285
00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:18,457
дайте мне хорошие новости. на сколько сантиметров
я расширена? восемь? девять?
286
00:20:18,629 --> 00:20:20,790
-три
-всего три?
287
00:20:20,998 --> 00:20:23,364
я расширен на три
288
00:20:25,402 --> 00:20:29,839
мы просто медленно движемся. не переживай, все
будет в порядке
289
00:20:30,174 --> 00:20:33,405
-я зайду позже
-спасибо
290
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:38,377
знаешь что? я не буду ждать. я вытолкаю это ребенка
291
00:20:38,549 --> 00:20:43,486
я сделаю это. 3 сантиметра. это ведь так, правильно?
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00:20:44,021 --> 00:20:49,721
-скорее, это вот так.
-ох, чертова система мер
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00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:56,256
мы должны везти ее прямо в комнату для родов
294
00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:59,368
ох, да ради Бога
295
00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:01,298
это начинает, это начинается
296
00:21:01,472 --> 00:21:03,667
и вот оно
297
00:21:04,141 --> 00:21:06,109
ой да перестаньте
298
00:21:09,814 --> 00:21:15,548
я доктор Дрейк Реморе. у меня для вас несколько
рутинных вопросов
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00:21:15,719 --> 00:21:18,017
мой врач доктор Уэллс
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00:21:18,222 --> 00:21:21,316
я знаю. я невролог. чтобы удостовериться
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00:21:21,492 --> 00:21:26,555
доктор Уэллс хочет более профессиональное мнение.
поэтому он послал меня
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00:21:26,964 --> 00:21:29,398
доктор Уэллс женщина
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00:21:30,668 --> 00:21:33,603
это был тест. хороший ответ
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00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:38,471
-итак. полное имя?
-Клиффорд Бёрнт
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00:21:38,876 --> 00:21:41,970
-дата рождения?
-16 ноября 1968
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00:21:42,379 --> 00:21:43,607
возраст?
307
00:21:45,182 --> 00:21:50,620
-вы не сможете это узнать?
-я доктор, а не математик
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00:21:51,622 --> 00:21:54,489
-мне 33
-хорошо
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00:21:55,459 --> 00:21:57,825
-и вы не женаты?
-нет
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00:21:58,062 --> 00:22:04,490
серьезно? 33 и вы один? у вас нет никаких обязательств?
311
00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:09,063
у вас все вопросы такие личные?
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00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,764
да
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00:22:11,976 --> 00:22:15,207
ладно, если вы должны знать, я вдовец
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00:22:15,379 --> 00:22:18,837
-о, это ужасно, мне очень жаль
-ага
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00:22:19,016 --> 00:22:22,850
я потерял жену 5 лет назад. инфаркт миокарда
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00:22:26,657 --> 00:22:30,753
-сердечный приступ, доктор
-а, точно. так, инфаркт ми..
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00:22:34,198 --> 00:22:36,223
вы испытываете головокружения?
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00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,458
нет
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00:22:37,635 --> 00:22:39,967
-становится боль сильнее?
-нет
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00:22:40,404 --> 00:22:44,340
вы спите с женщинами и потом им не перезваниваете?
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00:22:45,743 --> 00:22:47,608
-нет.
-блестяще, блестяще
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00:22:47,778 --> 00:22:53,444
и последний вопрос, вы используете странный материал,
ну знаете, в сексе?
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00:22:54,151 --> 00:22:56,676
-нет
-неверный ответ
324
00:23:01,058 --> 00:23:04,550
-эта комната свободна
-подождите, послушайте меня
325
00:23:04,728 --> 00:23:07,128
пока я жду уже 4 женщины..
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00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:10,995
это 4, на один сантиметр больше чем моя матка
расширена,
327
00:23:11,168 --> 00:23:16,504
пришли и ушли с детьми. я следующая. моя очередь.
это справедливо
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00:23:16,674 --> 00:23:21,976
если вы привезете еще одну женщину которая родит
раньше меня, я подам в суд
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00:23:22,179 --> 00:23:26,479
не на больницу. на вас. мой муж адвокат
330
00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:30,484
-Рэйч?
-ты выиграешь это дело, дорогой
331
00:23:30,688 --> 00:23:33,748
я думаю следующий пациент очень далек от этого
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00:23:33,958 --> 00:23:37,519
ладно, тогда ввозите ее
333
00:23:45,703 --> 00:23:51,141
Боже мой
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00:24:02,619 --> 00:24:06,612
я не могу в это поверить
335
00:24:08,158 --> 00:24:12,686
и все же, так или иначе, это правда
336
00:24:13,330 --> 00:24:17,733
я имею ввиду это будет здорово. мы будем приятельницами
по родам
337
00:24:20,037 --> 00:24:23,438
сожми ноги вместе и прикрой уши ребенку
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00:24:23,841 --> 00:24:27,072
-привет, дорогая
-привет, сладкий
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00:24:27,244 --> 00:24:31,078
это мой муж, Сид. я не думаю, что вы встречались.
Росс, Рэйчел, это Сид
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00:24:31,348 --> 00:24:33,908
я поймала его год назад в офисе дерматолога
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00:24:34,084 --> 00:24:36,951
за взрослое акне, слава Богу
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00:24:37,154 --> 00:24:41,090
я до сих пор не могу в это поверить. я счастливейший
мужчина на земле
343
00:24:41,258 --> 00:24:43,089
серьезно?
344
00:24:44,094 --> 00:24:45,186
что он сказал?
345
00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:49,230
вам нужно говорить очень громко, он почти полностью
глухой
346
00:24:49,433 --> 00:24:52,869
-ну понятно
-ну конечно он глухой
347
00:24:53,037 --> 00:24:57,030
поздравляю вас двоих, ядаже не знала что вы поженились
348
00:24:57,274 --> 00:25:00,437
-мы не поженились
-что?
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00:25:00,677 --> 00:25:06,115
у нас просто общий ребенок, но на этом все
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00:25:06,283 --> 00:25:08,080
почему?
351
00:25:10,220 --> 00:25:16,591
мы не в таких отношениях, знаешь? но мы очень
рады этому
352
00:25:16,794 --> 00:25:19,627
тогда заткните меня
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00:25:20,731 --> 00:25:22,995
скажи мне как
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00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:26,760
чувствую схватка начинается
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00:25:32,609 --> 00:25:34,577
Сид, везунчик, глухой ублюдок
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00:25:38,715 --> 00:25:41,684
что еще, что еще?
-ему 33
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вдовец
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он кажется крепким парнем.
и он не пользуется материалами в сексе
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выход Фиби
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