1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,700
We learned one thing, Cheese:
2
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,100
Cheerleaders and high explosives
don 't mix.
3
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,300
You can say that again, Mac.
4
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,000
I couldn 't have done it alone.
You're a genius.
5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:18,100
Oh, yeah? Well, how come I can 't get
my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
6
00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:26,100
What did you guys think?
7
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,800
-Hey, the phone.
-I got it. I got it.
8
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,400
Hold on. It's your mom.
9
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:37,500
-It's Mommy.
-That's nice.
10
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,800
Ma, so what did you think?
11
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:41,800
Well. . .
12
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,500
. . .that was okay.
13
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,000
It wasn't the best.
14
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,600
That was one
of the worst things ever. . .
15
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,200
. . .and not just on TV.
16
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,000
-What should we say?
-The lighting was okay.
17
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:58,200
You got lighting last time.
Lighting is mine.
18
00:00:58,700 --> 00:00:59,700
I have costumes.
19
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:01,300
That means I'm stuck with:
20
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:06,400
"So we were watching you in there, and
you were sitting right here. Whoa. "
21
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,500
-What about you?
-I don't know.
22
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,900
I can't lie to him again.
Oh, no, l-- No.
23
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,800
I'm just gonna press
my breasts up against him.
24
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:19,200
-And say nothing?
-Yeah, that's right.
25
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,100
Wow, my folks really liked it.
26
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,800
What did you guys think?
27
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,600
It wasn't that good.
28
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,600
The One With Rachel's Assistant
29
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,800
English Subtitles by
Gelula/SDI
30
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,400
Do you think that your favorite animal
says much about you?
31
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,400
You mean behind my back?
32
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,000
You'll never believe
what happened to me today.
33
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,300
-I am sitting in my office--
-You guys!
34
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,100
Guess what my agent just said?
35
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,000
I'm in the middle of a story here.
36
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,500
Sorry, you finish.
37
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,500
I'm sitting in my office,
and guess who walks in.
38
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,700
I'm gonna be on two TV shows.
39
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,000
That's great.
40
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,800
-Joey.
-You weren't finished?
41
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,100
Yeah, "Guess who walks
into my office" is my story.
42
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,100
Ralph Lauren walked into my office.
43
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,900
If you're starting another story,
at least let me finish mine.
44
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,600
It's the same story.
45
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,500
Wow, it's really long.
46
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,700
Ralph just came in to tell me
that he's so happy with my work. . .
47
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,900
. . .that he wants me to be the new
merchandising manager for Polo retail.
48
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,100
Still get a discount on wedding gowns?
49
00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:09,300
I'm so happy for you.
50
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,900
These really are
the "days of our lives. "
51
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,100
-What?
-Well, since you ask. . . .
52
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,800
They want me back on
Days of Our Lives.
53
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,400
I get a big pay raise!
54
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,700
Oh, hey!
55
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,300
I'll be playing Drake Ramoray's
twin brother, Stryker.
56
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,500
I get to hire my own assistant.
57
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,700
I got a head rush
from standing up too fast.
58
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,000
You were at this job four years?
59
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,500
-That's right.
-This is all very impressive, Hilda.
60
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,900
I just have one last question for you.
61
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,900
How did I do? Was this okay?
62
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,300
-What?
-I've never interviewed anyone.
63
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,500
I've never had anyone work for me.
64
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,900
When I was a kid we had a maid,
but this isn't the same.
65
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,300
No, dear, it's not.
66
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:03,700
And I know that.
67
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000
Well, thank you so much for coming in.
68
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,200
-Nice to meet you.
-Good meeting you.
69
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,700
All right.
70
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,700
I'm a total pro.
71
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,300
-Hello.
-Wow.
72
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,600
Hi, yes, I'm sorry.
The models are down the hall.
73
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,000
I'm here about the assistant job.
74
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,500
Really?
75
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:30,000
Okay, well, then, all right.
Well, just have a seat there.
76
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,400
So what's your name?
77
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:32,700
Tag Jones.
78
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,700
Uh-huh, go on.
79
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,700
That's it. That's my whole name.
80
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,900
That's your whole name.
Of course.
81
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,800
Okay, let's just have a look-see here.
82
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,600
I haven't worked in an office before.
I don't have much experience--
83
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,700
What are you talking about?
You got three years painting houses. . .
84
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:54,700
. . .two whole summers
at TGI Friday's.
85
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,600
It's lame, I know.
86
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,500
But I'm a goal-oriented person,
eager to learn--
87
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,500
Just hold on a second, please.
88
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,700
It's for human resources. Everybody
has to. Would you stand up?
89
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,900
No, no, no.
90
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,700
Hey.
91
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,900
-Anyway, I should go.
-Okay. Bye.
92
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,800
-Hey, sweetie.
-Hi, sweetie.
93
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,000
What was with all the whispering?
94
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,400
I can't tell you. It's a secret.
95
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,200
Secret? Married people aren't
supposed to have secrets.
96
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,000
We love and respect
one another too much.
97
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:53,900
But still, no.
98
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,700
We should tell each other everything.
I don't have secrets from you.
99
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:03,200
Really? So tell me what happened
to Ross, junior year at Disneyland.
100
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,100
No, I can't do that.
101
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,800
I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
102
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,500
-Okay.
-Okay.
103
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,000
So Ross and I
are going to Disneyland.
104
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,300
We stop at this restaurant for tacos.
105
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:19,000
When I say restaurant, I mean a guy,
a hibachi, and the trunk of his car.
106
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,600
So Ross has about ten tacos.
107
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:26,200
Anyway, we're on Space Mountain
and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
108
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,900
Oh, my God. He threw up?
109
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,000
No, he visited a town
a little south of throw up.
110
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,900
What was Phoebe's secret?
111
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,900
Nancy Thompson, from Phoebe's
old massage place, is getting fired.
112
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,700
That's it? I gave up my
Disneyland story for that?
113
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,500
That's right. You lose, sucker!
114
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,500
Please still marry me.
115
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,100
You have an assistant, right?
116
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,400
Did she call?
117
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,300
You told her I was sick, right?
Always tell her I am sick.
118
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,700
I don't know.
How do you decide who to hire?
119
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,600
I have it down to two people.
120
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,700
One has great references
and a lot of experience.
121
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,200
-And then, there's this guy.
-What about him?
122
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,000
I love him.
123
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,700
He's so pretty, I want to cry.
124
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,200
I don't know what to do.
125
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,900
Come on, you know what to do.
You hire the first one.
126
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:31,600
Don't hire assistants because they're
cute. Do it because they're qualified.
127
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,500
Uh-huh.
128
00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:39,000
I hear you. You make a lot of sense.
Can I just say one more thing?
129
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,400
Look how pretty.
130
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,400
Let me see.
131
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,300
Oh, my God.
132
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,800
Oh. But, no.
133
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,100
No. You can't hire him
because it's not professional.
134
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,700
This is for me, yes?
135
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,500
Okay, you're right.
I'll hire Hilda tomorrow.
136
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,400
Dumb, old, perfect-for-the-job Hilda.
137
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,200
Let me see.
138
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,900
Wow!
139
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,100
Don't show this to Monica.
140
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,600
And don't tell her about the "Wow! "
141
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,000
-Hey, Joey.
-Hey, Terry.
142
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,300
-Nice to see you again.
-Been a while.
143
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,200
Funny, these halls look smaller
than they used to.
144
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,700
It's a different building.
145
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:30,900
So. . .
146
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,600
. . .Stryker Ramoray, huh?
147
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,000
-When do I start?
-How about right now?
148
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,500
Okay.
149
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,100
Here are the audition scenes.
150
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,000
I thought you
were offering me the part.
151
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,300
Why?
152
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,900
I was Doctor Drake Ramoray,
Stryker's twin brother.
153
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,600
Who looks more like me than me, right?
154
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,700
Everybody has to audition.
155
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:01,300
You know, Terry,
I don't really need to do this.
156
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:04,100
I got my own cable TV series. . .
157
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,100
. . .with a robot.
158
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,200
I'm sorry, Joey.
That's the way it is.
159
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,300
Well. . .
160
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:15,400
. . .I guess you think
you're pretty special.
161
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,900
Sitting up here in your fancy,
small-halled building. . .
162
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,800
. . .making stars jump
through hoops for you.
163
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,500
Well, you know what?
164
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,000
This is one star whose hoop--
165
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,300
This is the star the hoop--
This hoop--
166
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,400
I was Doctor Drake Ramoray!
167
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,200
Hi, Tag. What are you doing here?
168
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,800
I came to thank you for not laughing
in my face yesterday.
169
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,300
I noticed there were no plants
so I brought you your first.
170
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,700
There is a plant in your office.
171
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,800
Kind of.
172
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:56,800
Right.
173
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:01,000
So I guess I shouldn't put
"good at noticing stuff" on my rйsumй.
174
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,400
-Thank you.
-Anyway. . .
175
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,600
. . .I'm guessing you hired somebody.
176
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,400
Well. . . .
177
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,000
Gotcha.
178
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,400
Thanks again for meeting with me.
179
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,400
But I hired you.
180
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,200
-What?
-Yeah, you got the job.
181
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,300
-You're my new assistant.
-I am?
182
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,900
Yeah.
183
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,200
-I can't believe it.
-Me either.
184
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,900
First, I need you to go downstairs. . .
185
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,800
. . .find a woman named Hilda,
and tell her to go home.
186
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,500
-Hey.
-Hey, good you're home.
187
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,800
Always nicer to hear than,
"Oh, crap, you again. "
188
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,600
Hey, sweetie, I made you a surprise.
189
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,600
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah, tacos.
190
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,700
Ever since that story,
I've had such a craving.
191
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,600
Did you not understand the story?
192
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,400
-Hey.
-Hey, what's up?
193
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,800
Nothing. Just figuring out
what to do for dinner.
194
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,600
Hey, what's that? Dinner stuff?
You making dinner?
195
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,800
No.
196
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,900
What's over there? Tacos?
197
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,700
No. No.
198
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,600
They're just ground beef smileys.
199
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,700
Those are tacos.
200
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:27,400
Excuse me, Mr. Mexico.
201
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,000
Either way, I'll pass.
Still can't eat those.
202
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,500
What's so funny?
203
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,600
I'm not laughing.
204
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,600
You told her!
205
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,200
Nancy Thompson's getting fired.
206
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:08,000
Okay, okay. I had food poisoning.
It's not like I chose to do it!
207
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:12,000
It's not like I said,
"What would make this ride more fun?"
208
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:16,600
Right. You're right, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be laughing.
209
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,100
I should be
laying down papers for you.
210
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,800
-How could you?
-I had to. We're getting married.
211
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,400
Married couples can't keep secrets.
212
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,400
I guess Monica should know
about Atlantic City.
213
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,000
Dude!
214
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,000
-What happened?
-Chandler and I are in a bar. . .
215
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,500
Did you not hear me say, "Dude"?
216
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,500
. . .and this girl
is making eyes at Chandler.
217
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:47,300
So he goes over to her and, after
a minute or two, I see them kissing.
218
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,800
You're thinking he's not the type
to go to bars and make out with girls.
219
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
And you're right.
He's not the type. . .
220
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:58,200
. . .to go to bars
and make out with girls.
221
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,700
You kissed a guy?
222
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,000
Oh, my God!
223
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:09,200
In my defense, it was dark
and he was a very pretty guy.
224
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,600
Oh, Mon, I laughed so hard--
225
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,400
So hard we had to throw out
your underwear again?
226
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,800
Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.
227
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:26,600
-Hi.
-Hey.
228
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:28,500
How's Hilda working out?
229
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:33,600
Oh, my new assistant
is working out. Yes.
230
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,700
She happy she got the job?
231
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:41,100
My new assistant is very happy
that I hired my new assistant.
232
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,400
Hello.
233
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,900
Oh, hey! Can you hang on a second?
234
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:51,100
It's the producers at Mac and Cheese,
if you'll excuse me for a minute.
235
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:57,000
Hey, funny you should call. I was
just looking over next week's script.
236
00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,400
Canceled!
237
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,700
Like, they're taking it off the air?
238
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,000
All right, I'll see you Monday.
239
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:10,400
We're not even shooting them anymore?
240
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:12,800
All right. Bye.
241
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,100
They canceled Mac and Cheese!
242
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,600
-Sorry.
-Sorry, Joey.
243
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,500
Why would they do that?
It was a good show, right?
244
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:34,700
You want to tell secrets?
Okay, in college. . .
245
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,800
. . .Ross used to wear leg warmers.
246
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:44,000
All right, Chandler entered a Vanilla
lce look-alike contest and won.
247
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,800
Ross came in fourth and cried!
248
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,800
Oh, is that funny?
You find that funny?
249
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,700
Maybe Chandler should know
your secrets too.
250
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,900
I already told him everything.
You shush!
251
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,000
Once, she was sent to bed
without dinner. . .
252
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,100
. . .so she ate the macaroni off
a jewelry box she'd made.
253
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,300
Ross stayed home every Saturday night
to watch Golden Girls.
254
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,200
Monica couldn't tell time
until she was 1 3.
255
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,300
It's hard for some people!
256
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,700
Of course it is.
257
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,800
Wow.
258
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,200
-Chandler wore my underwear to work!
-Hey!
259
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,800
I'm sorry, I couldn't think
of any more for Ross.
260
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,700
In college, Chandler got drunk. . .
261
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:38,800
. . .and slept with the lady
who cleaned our dorm.
262
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,000
That was you.
263
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,400
Whatever, dude. You kissed a guy.
264
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,200
How could this happen to me?
265
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,900
Yesterday, I had two TV shows.
Today, I got nothing.
266
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,900
Wait a minute,
what happened to Days of our Lives?
267
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,100
Well, they might be a little mad
at me over there.
268
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:02,700
What happened?
269
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:07,900
Well, maybe I got a little upset, and
maybe I told them where they could go.
270
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,500
Joey, why would you do that?
271
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:13,100
Because! They wanted me to audition.
272
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,600
You, an actor? That's madness!
273
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,500
Rachel Green's office.
274
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:28,900
Tag.
275
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,500
Hi, who was that?
276
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,900
Nobody. I was just practicing.
277
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,300
Really?
278
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,500
-Hi.
-Hi, Rachel Green's office.
279
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,700
You must be Hilda.
280
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:51,100
He's Tag. This is Phoebe.
Phoebe, can I see you for a sec?
281
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:52,500
Phoebe.
282
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,700
-Great name.
-You like that?
283
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,500
-You should hear my phone number.
-Okay.
284
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,500
So you hired yourself
a little treat, did you?
285
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,900
I know how it looks,
but I am telling you--
286
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,600
You can't get involved
with your assistant.
287
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:16,300
I know that, and I know hiring him was
not the smartest thing I've ever done.
288
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,100
But, from now on,
I swear this is strictly professional.
289
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,700
-Yes.
-Hey, Rachel.
290
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:22,900
Hi.
291
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,600
Cute assistant. What's his story?
292
00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:28,000
-Is he--
-Gay? Yeah.
293
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,700
Hey, Terry.
294
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,200
Joey Tribbiani.
295
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,900
Surprised your big head
could fit through our small halls.
296
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,100
-I gotta go, Joey.
-Wait, Terry! Look.
297
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,200
I'm really sorry about before.
298
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,500
I was an idiot, thinking I'm too big
to audition for you.
299
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,900
-Give me another chance.
-I can't.
300
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,900
Wait, Terry, please!
301
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,900
Look, I just lost my other job, okay?
302
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,200
You have no idea how much I need this.
303
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:01,900
Please, help me out.
304
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,100
For old times' sake.
305
00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:08,500
This guy's been in a coma
for five years. It's hopeless.
306
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,700
It's not. Dr. Stryker Ramoray
is a miracle worker.
307
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:12,900
Here he comes.
308
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,100
Good morning.
309
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,500
Drake, it's your brother, Stryker.
Can you hear me?
310
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,700
And cut.
311
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,700
I'm back, baby!
312
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,800
You know, in my defense. . .
313
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:49,500
. . .there was no glitter on
the macaroni and very little glue.
314
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,300
And in my defense,
the cleaning lady came on to me.
315
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,600
-Do you have trouble telling time now?
-No.
316
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,500
-Quick, what time is it?
-Time to kiss a guy?
317
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:07,100
What are you laughing at, Pampers?
318
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,300
You know when I said
married people. . .
319
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,300
. . .should share everything
and not have any secrets?
320
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:18,100
-Yeah?
-That was stupid. Let's not do that.
321
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:19,800
Absolutely.
322
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,900
We should keep the stuff we told
each other secret from everyone else.
323
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,900
Yeah, definitely.
324
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,200
Okay. If you'll excuse me. . .
325
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:33,400
. . .I'm gonna hang out with people who
don't know the Space Mountain story.
326
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,700
-Then I'd steer clear of Phoebe.
-Man!
327
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,500
Not that you would, but I wouldn't
hang out with the guys at my office.
328
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:54,700
Hi.
329
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,300
-Do you have a minute?
-Sure. What's up?
330
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,200
I got asked out twice today
while I was at lunch. . .
331
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,100
. . .by guys.
332
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,500
-Really?
-Yeah.
333
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,000
Did you tell someone that I was gay?
334
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,400
Oh, did you not want people
to know that?
335
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:20,200
I'm not gay. I especially wouldn't
want you to think I was gay.
336
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,200
Why is that?
337
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,400
-I don't think I should say.
-Oh, you can say.
338
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:32,700
Come on, I don't want you to feel
like you can't tell me things.
339
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,400
-Okay.
-Okay.
340
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,100
-Well. . .
-Yeah.
341
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,700
. . .I'd love to ask out
your friend Phoebe.
342
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,400
Yeah, she's gay.
|
1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,170
Мы усвоили одно, Чиз:
2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:08,924
Чирлидеры и взрывчатые
вещества несовместимы.
3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,262
Это точно, Мак.
4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,015
Я бы не смог сделать
это в одиночку. Ты гений.
5
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:21,353
Да? Тогда почему я не могу установить
время на моём видеомагнитофоне?
6
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,737
Ну, как вам, ребята?
7
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,869
- Телефон!
- Я возьму! Я возьму!
8
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,412
Секундочку. Это твоя мама.
9
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,372
- Это мама.
- Как мило.
10
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,001
Ма, привет, что вы думаете?
11
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,128
Что ж...
12
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,922
...это было ничего.
13
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,507
Бывает лучше.
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,218
Я никогда ничего хуже не видел.
15
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:56,972
Причём не только по телевизору.
16
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,892
- Что мы скажем?
- Свет был неплох.
17
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,228
Ты говорил про свет в
прошлый раз. Свет мой.
18
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:04,730
Я скажу про костюмы.
19
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,398
Это значит, что мне осталось:
20
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:11,779
"Мы видели тебя там,
а ты сидел прямо здесь!".
21
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,948
- А ты что будешь делать, Фиби?
- Я не знаю.
22
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,494
Я не могу ему снова
соврать. О, да, точно!
23
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,497
Я прижмусь к нему грудью.
24
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,084
- И ничего не скажешь?
- Ага, именно.
25
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,171
Моим понравилось.
26
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,923
Ну, а вы что скажете?
27
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,098
Это было не настолько хорошо.
1
00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:44,300
<b><c:#80FF80>ДРУЗЬЯ</c></b>
2
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,913
Сезон 7. Серия 4
Ассистент Рейчел
3
00:01:47,113 --> 00:01:52,093
В переводе участвовали: Nancy_Tompson,
Denlerien, nitai4andra
4
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:25,060
Как ты думаешь, твоё любимое
животное много говорит о тебе?
5
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,104
За моей спиной?!
6
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,900
Господи! Вы не поверите,
что со мной сегодня случилось.
7
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,278
- Я сижу в офисе...
- Девчонки! Девчонки!
8
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,196
Вы не поверите, что мне
сегодня сказал агент!
9
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,157
Я, вообще-то, уже рассказываю.
10
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,741
Извини, заканчивай.
11
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,870
Я сижу в офисе,
и угадайте, кто заходит.
12
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,164
Я буду играть в двух телешоу.
13
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,456
Здорово!
14
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,376
- Джоуи.
- Ты ещё не закончила?
15
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:52,337
Да, "угадайте, кто заходит" -
это конец истории.
16
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,008
Ральф Лорен! Ральф Лорен
зашёл ко мне в офис!
17
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:59,928
Если ты начала другую историю,
дай мне хотя бы закончить мою.
18
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,723
Это всё та же история.
19
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,767
Она очень долгая.
20
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:10,189
Ральф заходил только, чтобы сказать
мне, что очень доволен моей работой...
21
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,650
...и что хочет, чтобы я была новым
менеджером по продажам в Поло.
22
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,862
- Скидка на свадебные платья сохраняется?
- Да.
23
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,197
Я так рада за тебя!
24
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,910
Это действительно
"дни нашей жизни".
25
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,246
- Что?
- Ну раз вы спросили...
26
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,373
Они хотят, чтобы я
вернулся в "Дни нашей жизни".
27
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,085
Мне значительно повысят зарплату.
28
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,838
Я буду играть брата-близнеца
Дрейка Раморе, Страйкера.
29
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,217
У меня будет свой ассистент.
30
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,513
У меня голова закружилась из-за
того, что я слишком быстро встал.
31
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,146
Вы уже 4 года в этой профессии?
32
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:55,442
- Да.
- Очень впечатляет, Хильда.
33
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,363
И последний вопрос:
34
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,448
Как я справилась? Нормально?
35
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,993
- Что?
- Я ещё никогда не проводила собеседование.
36
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,329
У меня никогда
не было подчинённых.
37
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,874
Правда, у меня была горничная, когда я
была маленькой, но ведь это совсем не то.
38
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,335
Нет, дорогая, не то.
39
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,620
Я это знаю.
40
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,258
Ну, спасибо большое, что пришли.
41
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,510
- Было приятно познакомиться.
- Спасибо, мне тоже.
42
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,136
Хорошо.
43
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,265
Я просто профи!
44
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,018
Привет.
45
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,523
Привет, да! Сожалею, но
моделям дальше по коридору.
46
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,025
Я здесь насчёт
должности ассистента.
47
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,568
Правда?
48
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:42,948
Хорошо, тогда ладно.
Пожалуйста, присаживайтесь.
49
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,741
Так, как вас зовут?
50
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,076
Тэг Джонс.
51
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,120
Ага, продолжайте.
52
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,290
Это всё. Это моё полное имя.
53
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,583
Это ваше полное имя.
Конечно, да.
54
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,545
Хорошо, давайте посмотрим...
55
00:04:56,796 --> 00:05:00,507
К сожалению, я не работал прежде в
офисе, и у меня недостаточно опыта, но...
56
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:04,845
О чём вы говорите?
Вы 3 года проработали маляром...
57
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:09,016
...и целых 2 лета в
закусочной TGI Friday's.
58
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,934
Это неубедительно, я знаю.
59
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:14,021
Но я - человек целеустремлённый,
и очень быстро учусь...
60
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,189
Подождите секунду, пожалуйста.
61
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:23,864
Это для отдела кадров. Все через
это проходят. Вы не могли бы встать?
62
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,249
Нет, нет, нет.
63
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,595
Эй.
64
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,061
- Ладно, мне пора.
- Хорошо, пока.
65
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,063
- Привет, милый.
- Привет, милая.
66
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,357
О чём это вы шептались?
67
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,817
Не скажу. Это секрет.
68
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:04,821
Секрет? Между мужем и женой
не должно быть секретов.
69
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,699
Мы слишком любим и
уважаем друг друга для этого.
70
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,453
Но всё равно нет.
71
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:15,749
Мы должны рассказывать друг другу
всё. У меня нет от тебя секретов.
72
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:20,462
Правда? Тогда расскажи мне, что случилось
с Россом на первом курсе в Диснейленде.
73
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,838
Нет, я не могу
сделать этого.
74
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,175
Если расскажешь, я
расскажу, что сказала Фиби.
75
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,010
- Хорошо.
- Хорошо.
76
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,596
Мы с Россом поехали в Диснейленд.
77
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,015
Мы остановились в
ресторане, чтобы поесть тако.
78
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:36,895
Под "рестораном" я имел в виду парня
с
переносной печкой в багажнике его машины.
79
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,564
Росс съел около 10 тако.
80
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:44,361
И когда мы залезли на Космическую Гору,
Росс почувствовал себя немного странно.
81
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,196
Боже мой! Его стошнило?
82
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:49,408
Нет, его "прорвало" в другом месте.
83
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,035
- Нет.
- Да.
84
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,413
А что у Фиби за секрет?
85
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,916
Нэнси Томпсон со старой
работы Фиби увольняют.
86
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,757
И всё? Я выдал секрет
про Диснейленд ради этого?
87
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,926
Это так. Ты проиграл, неудачник!
88
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,889
Всё равно женись
на мне, пожалуйста.
89
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,770
У тебя есть
ассистентка, не так ли?
90
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,063
Она звонила?
91
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:24,109
Ты ведь сказала ей, что я болен?
Всегда говори ей, что я болен.
92
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,696
Нет, просто я не знаю,
как решить, кого нанять.
93
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,614
У меня 2 кандидата.
94
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,909
У одной хорошие рекомендации
и большой опыт работы.
95
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,537
- А второй - этот парень.
- И что с ним?
96
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,415
Я влюбилась.
97
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,294
Он такой красивый,
что хочется плакать.
98
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,879
Я не знаю, что делать.
99
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,716
Да брось, ты знаешь,
что делать. Найми первую.
100
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:52,596
Ассистентов нанимают не за красоту.
Их нанимают из-за квалификации.
101
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,598
Ага.
102
00:07:56,017 --> 00:08:00,353
Нет, я понимаю, что ты хочешь сказать, и звучит
это разумно, но можно я тебе кое-что покажу?
103
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,813
Посмотри, какой красивый.
104
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,941
Дай взглянуть.
105
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,944
Боже мой.
106
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,489
Боже. Но нет.
107
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,950
Нет. Ты не можешь его нанять,
это - непрофессионально.
108
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,746
Это ведь мне, да?
109
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,708
Хорошо, ты права.
Завтра я найму Хильду.
110
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:24,711
Дурацкую, старую,
я-идеальный-работник Хильду.
111
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,546
Дай мне посмотреть
112
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,467
О-го-го!
113
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,761
Не показывай Монике.
114
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,388
И не говори про "О-го-го"!
115
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,064
- Привет, Джоуи.
- Привет, Терри.
116
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,525
- Рад тебя видеть!
- Давно не виделись.
117
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,569
Забавно, эти павильоны мне
кажутся меньше, чем раньше.
118
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,155
Это другое здание.
119
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,449
Итак...
120
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,202
Страйкер Раморе, да?
121
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,704
- Когда мне начинать?
- Может, прямо сейчас?
122
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,331
Хорошо.
123
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,042
Вот сцены для проб.
124
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,215
Для проб? Я думал, вы
сразу предложите мне роль.
125
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:11,550
С чего вдруг?
126
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,177
Я был доктором Дрейком Раморе,
братом-близнецом Страйкера.
127
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,056
Кто на меня похож
больше, если не я сам?
128
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,434
Все проходят пробы.
129
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,147
Знаешь, Терри, не думаю,
что мне нужны пробы.
130
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:29,067
У меня на кабельном
телевидении свой сериал...
131
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,528
...с роботом.
132
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,448
Прости, Джоуи. Такие правила.
133
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,617
Что ж...
134
00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,787
Похоже, вы считаете
себя каким-то особенным.
135
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:44,499
Сидите здесь в странных маленьких
павильонах в другом здании...
136
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,587
Заставляете звёзд
плясать под вашу дудку.
137
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,338
Знаете, что?
138
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:55,010
Это звезда не дудит...
139
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,429
Эта дудка не пляшет...
Звезда...
140
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,639
Я был доктором Дрейком Раморе!
141
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,858
Привет, Тэг.
Что ты здесь делаешь?
142
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,528
Я пришёл, чтобы поблагодарить Вас,
что вчера не рассмеялись мне в лицо.
143
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,198
Я заметил, что у Вас в кабинете нет
растений, поэтому принёс Вам первое...
144
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,743
Хотя вот же, есть!
145
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,953
Вроде того.
146
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,705
Ясно.
147
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,742
Полагаю, не стоит вносить
в резюме "наблюдательный".
148
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,629
- Спасибо.
- В любом случае...
149
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,922
...я полагаю,
ты уже кого-то наняла.
150
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,799
Ну...
151
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,426
Понял.
152
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,928
Ещё раз спасибо за то,
что уделила мне время.
153
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,057
Я наняла тебя.
154
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,019
- Что?
- Ты получил работу.
155
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,229
- Ты мой новый ассистент.
- Я?
156
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,898
Да.
157
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:54,361
- Не могу в это поверить.
- Я тоже.
158
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,448
Твоё первое задание -
спустись вниз...
159
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,451
...найди женщину по имени Хильда
и скажи ей, чтобы шла домой.
160
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,458
- Привет!
- Привет! Хорошо, что ты уже дома.
161
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,961
Всегда приятней слышать
это, чем "О чёрт, опять ты".
162
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,882
Привет, милый.
Я приготовила тебе сюрприз.
163
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,967
- Да? Какой?
- Тако.
164
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,179
С тех пор, как ты рассказал мне ту историю,
мне всё время хотелось их попробовать.
165
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,308
Ты не поняла историю?
166
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,229
- Привет!
- Привет! Как дела?
167
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,816
Ничего такого. Пытаюсь
придумать, чем бы заняться.
168
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,612
Эй, что это? Ужин?
Вы готовите ужин?
169
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,648
Нет.
170
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,270
Что это у вас? Тако?
171
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,705
Нет. Нет.
172
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,174
Это просто... Это...
173
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:52,335
Улыбки с говядиной.
174
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,630
Это тако.
175
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,383
Ну извините, мистер Мексика.
176
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,137
В любом случае, я - пас.
До сих пор не могу есть их.
177
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,063
Что смешного?
178
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,529
Я не смеюсь.
179
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,956
Ты рассказал ей.
180
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,542
Нэнси Томпсон увольняют.
181
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:40,759
Ладно, ладно. У меня было пищевое
отравление. Я же ненарочно!
182
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:44,888
Я же не раздумывал:
"Как бы сделать поездку повеселее?"
183
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,684
Хорошо. Ты прав. Прости.
Я не должна была смеяться.
184
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,312
Я должна была
подстелить тебе газетку.
185
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,234
- Как ты мог?
- Мне пришлось. Мы собираемся пожениться.
186
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,945
Между мужем и женой
не должно быть секретов.
187
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,073
Серьёзно? Я... Я считаю, Моника
должна узнать про Атлантик Сити.
188
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,950
Э...эй!
189
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,913
- А что произошло?
- Мы с Чендлером пошли в бар...
190
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,540
Ты что, не слышал,
что я сказал "Э...эй"?
191
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,711
...и одна девушка начала
строить Чендлеру глазки.
192
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,716
Он подошёл к ней, и через минуту-другую
смотрю - они уже целуются.
193
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:26,629
Знаю, ты думаешь: "Чендлер не из тех, кто
запросто "разводит" девчонку на поцелуй".
194
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,681
И ты права. Он не из тех...
195
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:33,061
...кто запросто "разводит"
на поцелуй "девчонку"
196
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,773
Ты целовался с парнем?
197
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,151
Боже мой.
198
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:44,572
В свою защиту могу сказать, что было
темно, а парень был очень симпатичный.
199
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,159
Мон, я так смеялся...
200
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:52,539
Так смеялся, что опять
пришлось менять тебе бельё?
201
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,626
Какая разница.
Ты целовался с парнем.
202
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,800
- Привет.
- Привет.
203
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,760
Как Хильда справляется с работой?
204
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:11,391
Мой новый ассистент очень
хорошо справляется с работой. Да.
205
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,226
Она рада, что получила эту работу?
206
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:18,940
Мой ассистент очень рад,
что получил эту работу.
207
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,360
Привет.
208
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,946
Можете подождать секунду?
209
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,240
Это продюсеры Мака и Чиза...
210
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,325
...так что извините меня на минуту.
211
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:35,498
Эй, забавно, что вы позвонили. Я только что
просматривал сценарий на следующую неделю.
212
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,001
Отменили?
213
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,462
Его снимают с эфира?
214
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,925
Хорошо. Увидимся в понедельник.
215
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,720
Мы даже снимать его не будем?!
216
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,973
Ладно. Пока.
217
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,976
Они отменили Мака и Чиза.
218
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,936
- Мне жаль.
- Мне так жаль, Джоуи.
219
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,939
Почему они это сделали?
Это было хорошее шоу, верно?
220
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,746
Хочешь рассказывать секреты?
Хорошо. В колледже...
221
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,123
...Росс носил гетры.
222
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:24,505
Хорошо, Чендлер участвовал в соревновании
двойников группы "Vanilla Ice" и победил.
223
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,468
Росс занял четвёртое
место и расплакался.
224
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,470
- Просто я расстроился.
- Боже мой.
225
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,723
О, это смешно? Тебе смешно?
226
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,809
Может быть, Чендлеру тоже
стоит узнать твои секреты.
227
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,270
Я уже всё ему рассказала.
228
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,105
Молчи!
229
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:44,359
Однажды её отправили
спать без ужина...
230
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,570
...а она съела макароны,
из которых сделала шкатулку.
231
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:54,077
Росс каждый вечер субботы оставался
дома, чтобы посмотреть "Золотых девочек".
232
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,165
Моника не умела определять
время по стрелкам до 13 лет.
233
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,503
Для некоторых это тяжело.
234
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,922
Безусловно.
235
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,132
Вау.
236
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:11,678
- Чендлер однажды надел на работу моё бельё.
- Эй.
237
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:16,474
Прости, я больше ничего
не смогла вспомнить о Россе.
238
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,476
В колледже Чендлер напился...
239
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,728
...и переспал с уборщицей
нашего общежития.
240
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,564
Это был ты.
241
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,695
Ну и что?
Ты целовался с парнем.
242
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,491
Как это могло со мной случиться?
243
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:38,454
Вчера у меня было 2 шоу.
Сегодня у меня... ничего.
244
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,541
Погоди секунду. Что случилось
с "Днями нашей жизни"?
245
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,877
Ну, они, наверное, немного
разозлились на меня.
246
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,546
Что случилось?
247
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:51,968
Ну, наверное, я немного
расстроился, и сказал, куда им идти.
248
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:54,679
Джоуи, зачем ты сделал это?
249
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,390
Потому что они хотели,
чтобы я прошёл пробы.
250
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:01,019
Ты? Актёр? Какое безумие!
251
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,319
Офис Рэйчел Грин.
252
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:13,865
Тэг.
253
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,575
Привет, кто это был?
254
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:19,078
Никто. Я тренировался.
255
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:20,538
Правда?
256
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,088
- Привет.
- Привет, офис Рэйчел Грин.
257
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:32,800
Ты, наверное, Хильда.
258
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,054
Это Тэг. Это Фиби.
Можно тебя на секунду?
259
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,181
- Untranslated subtitle -
260
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,515
Фиби.
261
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,851
- Какое красивое имя.
- Тебе нравится?
262
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,729
- Это ты ещё мой номер телефона не слышал.
- Ладно. Мы сейчас вернёмся.
263
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,279
Значит, приобрела себе
симпатичную игрушку?
264
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,657
Я знаю, как это выглядит,
но я тебя уверяю...
265
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,410
Ты понимаешь, что не можешь
крутить роман со своим ассистентом.
266
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:04,373
Я это знаю, и знаю, что наняв его, я
совершила не самый умный поступок.
267
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,083
Но с этого момента, я клянусь,
всё будет совершенно профессионально.
268
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,046
- Да.
- Привет, Рэйчел.
269
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,255
Привет.
270
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,050
Милый ассистент.
Расскажи о нём.
271
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,552
- Он...
- Гей? Да.
272
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,602
Привет, Терри.
273
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,104
Джоуи Триббиани.
274
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:30,024
Я удивлён, что твоя большая голова
смогла пролезть в наши маленькие павильоны.
275
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,361
- Мне нужно идти, Джоуи.
- Подожди, Терри, послушай.
276
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,530
Я прошу прощения
за то, что наговорил раньше.
277
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,991
Я был идиотом, думая,
что слишком хорош для проб.
278
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,452
- Ты должен мне дать ещё один шанс.
- Ничем не могу помочь, Джоуи.
279
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,496
Подожди, Терри, умоляю!
280
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,707
Послушай, я потерял
свою другую работу.
281
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:50,128
Ты и не подозреваешь,
как мне нужна эта.
282
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,879
Пожалуйста, окажи мне услугу.
283
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,173
В память о прошлом.
284
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:58,803
Этот парень был в коме
5 лет. Это безнадёжно.
285
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,056
Нет. Доктор Страйкер
Раморе - чудесный врач.
286
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,349
Вот и он.
287
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,643
Доброе утро.
288
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:16,487
Дрейк, это твой брат Страйкер.
Ты меня слышишь?
289
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,030
И "снято".
290
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,118
Я вернулся, детка.
291
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,675
Знаешь, в своё оправдание...
292
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:41,512
...на макаронах совсем не было
блёсток, и очень мало клея.
293
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:45,516
А я в свою защиту могу сказать,
что та уборщица сама ко мне пришла.
294
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,979
- А сейчас у тебя нет проблем в определении времени?
- Нет.
295
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,940
- Быстро, сколько время?
- Время поцеловаться с парнем?
296
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,738
Над чем ты смеёшься, Памперс?
297
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,285
Помнишь, я сказал, что
раз мы женимся, то...
298
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,371
...должны всем делиться,
и у нас не должно быть секретов?
299
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,458
- Да.
- Да. Это было глупо. Давай забудем об этом.
300
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:13,169
С удовольствием!
301
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:17,465
И мы должны сохранить в тайне
всё, о чём рассказали друг другу.
302
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,550
Разумеется!
303
00:20:21,435 --> 00:20:24,680
Ладно. Извините...
304
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,350
Я хочу пообщаться с людьми, которые
не знают историю про парк аттракционов.
305
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,854
- Тогда тебе стоит избегать Фиби.
- Блин!
306
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:37,818
Ты, конечно, не будешь этого делать, но тебе
не стоит встречаться с парнями из моего офиса.
307
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,705
Привет.
308
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,418
- Есть минутка?
- Конечно. Что такое?
309
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,506
Сегодня за обедом мне
дважды назначили свидание...
310
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,466
Парни.
311
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:03,970
- Правда?
- Да.
312
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,597
Ты кому-то говорила, что я гей?
313
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,142
О, ты не хочешь,
чтобы люди знали об этом?
314
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:16,190
Я не гей. И особенно я не хочу,
чтобы ты думала, что я гей.
315
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,276
Это почему?
316
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:23,698
- Думаю, не стоит мне этого говорить.
- Да ладно, говори!
317
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:29,203
Брось. Ты можешь рассказывать
мне о чём угодно.
318
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,082
- Хорошо.
- Хорошо.
319
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,918
- Ну...
- Да.
320
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,671
Я бы хотел пригласить на
свидание твою подругу Фиби.
321
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,467
О, она - лесби.
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