1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:03,300
Hey, guys.
2
00:00:03,900 --> 00:00:07,000
So, what do you think?
3
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:09,400
-About what?
-What?
4
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,800
Are you kidding?
Okay, I'll give you a hint.
5
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,300
Eyes.
6
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,300
No, no. Your eyes! No.
7
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,100
Chandler's eyes!
8
00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:23,900
I got glasses.
9
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,400
You always had glasses.
10
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,600
No, I didn't.
11
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,300
Are you sure?
12
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,200
Didn't you have a pair?
13
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:40,400
They were really round and burgundy,
and they made you look kind of. . . .
14
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,600
-Feminine.
-Yes!
15
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:43,900
No.
16
00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,800
I think the glasses look great.
You look sexy.
17
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,400
-Really?
-Yeah.
18
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,700
You didn't think I wore glasses?
19
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,400
Of course.
20
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,200
The One With Phoebe's Cookies
21
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,500
What do you want for
an engagement gift?
22
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:40,700
That's okay, we're not
having a party. . .
23
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,800
. . .so you don't have to get us--
24
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,600
If someone wants to give us a present,
we can't deprive them of that joy.
25
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,900
You should get them a
little CD player.
26
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,300
I already have one.
27
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:55,600
Unless someone borrowed it and
left it at the gynecologist.
28
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:02,000
Yeah, and by "someone"
she means Joey.
29
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,600
I know what I want!
30
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:07,600
-What we want, honey.
-No, you don't want this.
31
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,100
I want your grandmother's
cookie recipe.
32
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,500
You mean the chocolate chip
cookie recipe?
33
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,000
The one my grandma
made me swear on her deathbed. . .
34
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,800
. . .that I would never
let out of our family?
35
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,400
Dying people say the craziest things.
36
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:28,200
I've wanted it for years. I was gonna
make cookies for my children.
37
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,700
Break my heart. Oh, all right.
38
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,300
I'll be the mom who makes the
world's best chocolate chip cookies.
39
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,600
Our kids are gonna be fat,
aren't they?
40
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,000
Ahoy!
41
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,800
-How's the boat?
-I'm getting into this sailing stuff.
42
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,800
You finally took it out of the marina?
43
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,800
Why would I do that?
44
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,200
It took three guys
to get the thing in there.
45
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000
If you don't sail it,
what do you do on it?
46
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,900
It's a great place to just sit. . .
47
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,500
. . .hang around, drink a few beers,
eat some chips.
48
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,100
It's good that you finally
have a place to do that.
49
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,000
I could teach you to sail if you want.
50
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,400
-You could?
-I've been sailing my whole life.
51
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:13,600
When I was 1 5, my dad
bought me my own boat.
52
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,100
-Your own boat?
-He was trying to cheer me up.
53
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,900
My pony was sick.
54
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,000
-You know what I was thinking?
-What?
55
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,500
Nothing, I just like to go like this.
56
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,600
-What are you doing tonight?
-Do you have a lecture?
57
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,900
-No, why?
-Then, free as a bird. What's up?
58
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,800
My dad wants to know if you want
to play racquetball.
59
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,700
Great! Dad must like you!
60
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,500
He doesn't ask just anyone to play.
61
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,900
He didn't ask for you.
He asked for "Chauncey. "
62
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,300
I assumed he meant you.
63
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,300
Did you correct him?
64
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,000
No, I thought it would be
more fun this way.
65
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,700
Cool! Maybe you could
do this every week.
66
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,100
Or you could sit on the porch. . .
67
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,400
. . .and make sure no one
steals the trashcans.
68
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,000
He does that every week too.
69
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:13,000
Just so you know, you have to let
him win. He hates to lose.
70
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,500
Maybe I'll play with my left hand.
71
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,900
You're not a lefty?
72
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,900
Does anybody know me?
73
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:26,700
What's wrong?
74
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,200
I went to my old apartment
to get the cookie recipe. . .
75
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,800
. . .and that stupid fire burned it up!
76
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,700
No! Why didn't you make a copy
and keep it in a fireproof box. . .
77
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:39,800
. . .and keep it at least 1 00 yards
away from the original?
78
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,800
Because I'm normal.
79
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,900
That was the one legacy
my grandmother left me.
80
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,800
And I know you wanted it
as an engagement present.
81
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,100
We have to get you
an engagement present?
82
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,200
Don't worry about it.
83
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,900
No one got me an engagement present.
84
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,900
I don't have the recipe, but here.
85
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,400
I wish you health
and happiness.
86
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,100
An old cookie?
87
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,700
This is what happens when you
don't register for gifts.
88
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:20,400
I made a batch and froze it.
This is the only one left.
89
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,800
We can't accept this.
90
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
Why not?
91
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,900
Cause it's gross.
92
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,700
No, wait. I think I can figure out
the recipe from this cookie.
93
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,500
I do this at work all the time.
94
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,800
-Really?
-I think so!
95
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,400
Okay, Ross, we owe you a present.
96
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,900
Two! I've been engaged twice.
97
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:51,900
Look at this clown.
98
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,300
He thinks he can take up the
whole river.
99
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,100
Get out of the way, jackass!
100
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,300
Who names their boat
Coast Guard, anyway?
101
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,600
That is the Coast Guard.
102
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,800
What are they doing here?
103
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,100
The coast is all the way over there.
104
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,400
Joey, just ignore the boats.
105
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,800
-We're not finished with our lesson.
-All right.
106
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,100
I'm gonna go over the basic
points once more.
107
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,200
Come on, Rach. I got it, okay?
108
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,100
I want to go over there. . .
109
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,500
. . .where that boatload of girls is.
110
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,400
Is that it? You want to give. . .
111
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,500
. . .a shout to the hot chicas?
112
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,600
Okay, let's do that, Sailor Joe.
113
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,800
Quick question, though:
What's this called?
114
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:39,100
-Boat rope?
-Wrong!
115
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,100
How do you get the mainsail up?
116
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,900
Rub it?
117
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,300
No. What do you do if I say
we're coming about?
118
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:53,300
I say, "Come again?"
119
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,400
I know this one. I know this one.
120
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,300
Time's up. Now you're dead.
121
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,700
And deaf!
122
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,800
You go on and make your little jokes.
123
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,400
If you don't know
what you're doing. . .
124
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,800
. . .you will die.
Am I getting through to you?
125
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,700
-Yes.
-Don't just say yes.
126
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,300
This isn't a game.
You could get hurt out here!
127
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,200
Do you want to pay attention,
or do you want to die?
128
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,100
I want to make a
ship-to-shore call to Chandler.
129
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,800
-I definitely taste nutmeg.
-You do?
130
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,400
You don't? Well, that's
the difference. . .
131
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,700
. . .between a
professional and a layman.
132
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,900
That and arrogance.
133
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,000
Hey.
134
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,700
Hey. How was sailing?
135
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,300
I don't want to talk about it.
136
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,100
You could've at least saved
me a cookie.
137
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,900
Women are mean!
138
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,600
I can't believe that.
139
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:07,000
Now the only thing left
of my grandmother's legacy is. . .
140
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,700
. . .this crumb.
141
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,300
I wish you a long and happy marriage.
142
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,000
-Hey.
-How was it?
143
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,700
Well, I had a great time.
144
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,200
Chauncey on the other hand. . . .
145
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,300
I will tell the story.
146
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,500
It was going great.
I let him win, we were bonding. . .
147
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:30,500
. . .he even said I could call him Dad.
148
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,400
And what did he ask you
not to call him?
149
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,700
"Daddy. "
150
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,700
Look, here's the story.
151
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,900
We hadjust finished playing,
and we were gonna take a steam.
152
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,100
I walk into the room...
153
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,300
...and it's really steamy.
154
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,800
So I take off my glasses,
and that's when it happened.
155
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000
Guys?
156
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,000
-Over here.
-Have a seat, son.
157
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:02,000
Hey!
158
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,200
-Oh, my God! I can't believe it.
-I know.
159
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,800
You gave my father a lap dance.
160
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,500
Why do they put
so much steam in there?
161
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,500
Because otherwise they'd
have to call it the "room" room.
162
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,900
Why?
Why did that have to happen?
163
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,200
Come on, it's not that big a deal.
164
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,700
Not that big a deal?
165
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,200
There was touching of things.
166
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,500
I know you wanted
to bond with my dad. . .
167
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,700
. . .but did you have to bond
to that part?
168
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,500
I'm sure Dad doesn't care.
169
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,200
He probably thought it was funny.
170
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,100
He'll be telling this story for years.
171
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,000
I don't want him to tell
this story for years.
172
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,500
Oh, but he will.
173
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:05,200
He still tells the story about how
Monica tried to escape from fat camp.
174
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,100
I wasn't escaping.
175
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,400
Then how'd you get caught
in the barbed wire?
176
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,200
I was trying to help out a squirrel.
177
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,100
You were trying to eat it.
178
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,000
If that is your father calling
to tell this story. . .
179
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,900
. . .then the marriage is off!
180
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,400
Come on. Hello.
181
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:28,300
I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
182
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,400
I'll call you later, Dad.
I love you.
183
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,300
I'm off to see your dad.
184
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,500
Aren't you a little overdressed?
185
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:45,700
You better make sure
he tips you this time.
186
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:49,900
I figured I would try to convince
him not to tell the story anymore. . .
187
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,900
. . .and I figured the best way
to do that was face to face.
188
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,500
And by "face," I don't mean his lap.
189
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,500
And by "face," I don't mean my ass.
190
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,900
Are you getting Monica and
Chandler a present?
191
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,300
I don't know. You know,
they didn't get us anything.
192
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,100
Thank you!
193
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,100
Hey.
194
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,800
Well, hello.
195
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,700
So when are we getting
back out on the water, matey?
196
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:20,000
I don't know the boat way
to say this, but, never.
197
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,800
Why not?
198
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,300
Because you're mean on the boat.
199
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,700
I was just trying to teach you.
200
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:30,200
Well, lesson learned.
Rachel is mean.
201
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:34,100
Yep, yep, yep.
202
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,200
I remember when she took me out
on her dad's boat.
203
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,300
She wouldn't let me help at all.
204
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,300
Excuse me, I wanted you to help.
205
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,700
But you couldn't move. . .
206
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:45,800
. . .because you were wearing
three life jackets.
207
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,700
You have to respect the sea.
208
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,700
Joey, I'm sorry if you thought
that was mean.
209
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,900
But I tell you, that was not mean.
210
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,900
My father is mean. He used to always
yell at me on the boat.
211
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,100
It was horrible.
I was being a really good teacher.
212
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:06,100
Does a good teacher say,
"Put down the beer, pinhead! "
213
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,100
Does a good student drink 7 beers
during his first lesson?
214
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:11,800
Six and a half.
215
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,200
You knocked the last
one out of my hand, remember?
216
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,300
I didn't want you to get hit
by the boom.
217
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,700
Well, it hit me anyway.
218
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,000
It would have hurt a lot less
if I had finished that last beer.
219
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:26,900
I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down
and stop yelling.
220
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:28,900
No bossing me around?
221
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,800
-I won't boss you around.
-And be nice?
222
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,600
-I'll be nice.
-You'll be topless?
223
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,100
-Joey!
-You want me to learn?
224
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:45,100
Here's batch 22.
Maybe these are like your grandma's.
225
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,100
This has a bit of orange peel,
but no nutmeg.
226
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,900
Let's give it a shot.
227
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:52,700
I haven't made so many cookies
since 9th grade.
228
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,500
What for, a bake sale?
229
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,500
No, just a Friday night.
230
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,200
These are pretty good.
231
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,200
Yeah, but not as good as batch 1 7.
232
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,400
Which one was that?
233
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,700
The ones we had after
you almost threw up.
234
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,700
Oh, yeah, batch 1 7 was good.
235
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,900
I did not like batch 1 6.
236
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:17,900
I'm okay.
237
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,200
Any more from the good batch?
We could work off those.
238
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,700
I think there's one left.
239
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:33,300
Batch 1 6.
Sixteen, people, get out of the way!
240
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:44,100
Okay, Joey. You're doing really good.
241
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,400
I just need you
to step to the portside.
242
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,900
Remember talking about the portside?
243
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,600
Oh, yeah.
244
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:56,900
No.
245
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:02,100
It's left, sweetie, but that's okay.
That's a tough one.
246
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,600
Why not just say left?
247
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,500
Okay, go to the left.
248
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:11,600
The left.
249
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:12,800
Just sit over there!
250
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,100
You're yelling again. See that?
251
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:19,100
Oh, no, no. Very quiet.
Said with love, no yelling.
252
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,200
You know what?
253
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,900
Since I'm here, I'm gonna have
a beer on the portside.
254
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,800
See what I did there?
255
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,300
We're luffing a little.
Can you tighten up the Cunningham?
256
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:39,400
You just said a bunch
of stuff I don't know.
257
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,200
Joey, come on!
We just went over this.
258
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,300
We did that when that bird. . .
259
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,500
. . .flew over with the fish
in his mouth.
260
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,300
Did you see it? It was gross.
261
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:50,500
I did not see the bird or the fish!
262
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,700
I did not see the piece of
Styrofoam shaped like Mike Tyson!
263
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,900
I did not, because I was trying
to teach you how to sail a boat.
264
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,800
Which obviously is
an impossible thing to do.
265
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,000
You're yelling, and I don't
see you taking your top off.
266
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:06,700
I quit!
267
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:10,500
-What do you mean? You can't quit.
-Why not?
268
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:13,500
You're not finished! I won't have it.
Greenes do not quit.
269
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,100
Greenes?
270
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:19,300
I'm a Tribbiani. Tribbianis quit.
271
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,600
Oh, my God.
272
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,700
I just said, "Greenes don't quit,"
didn't l?
273
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,100
Did I say, "Greenes don't quit"?
274
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,200
Yes! And you're still yelling at me.
275
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,300
No, I'm not yelling at you.
I'm just yelling near you.
276
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,300
Oh, God, Joey. I'm my father.
277
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,100
Oh, my God. This is horrible.
278
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,900
I try so hard not to be my mother,
I didn't see this coming.
279
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:51,300
I'm so sorry.
I just wanted you to learn.
280
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,300
I did learn.
281
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,700
-Really?
-Yeah, come on.
282
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,400
It's okay.
283
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,500
I know what a mainsail is.
284
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:08,900
I know to duck when
the boom comes across.
285
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,000
-I know port is right.
-Left.
286
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,500
Damn it!
287
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,900
It would make my grandmother happy. . .
288
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,900
. . .that we're trying
to figure out her recipe.
289
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:26,500
I bet she's looking up at us
and smiling right now.
290
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,700
Looking up?
291
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:34,400
She was really nice to me but
she's in hell for sure.
292
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,200
Well, I've tried everything.
293
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,100
I give up.
I'm not gonna be the mom. . .
294
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:40,900
. . .who makes the world's
best cookies.
295
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:46,100
I do make the best
duck confit with broccoli raab.
296
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,500
Kids love that, right?
297
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,900
Isn't there any relative
that has the recipe?
298
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,600
What about your sister?
299
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,500
No. I made a promise to
myself that the next time. . .
300
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,700
. . .I would talk to Ursula
is over my dead body.
301
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:06,500
And that's not happening
till October 1 5, 2032.
302
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,900
That's the day you're gonna die?
303
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,100
I've got shuffleboard that day.
304
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:13,600
That's what you think.
305
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,500
What about friends of your grandma?
306
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:20,900
Wouldn't they have the recipe?
307
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:25,000
I may have relatives in France
who would know.
308
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:30,100
My grandmother said she got it from
her grandmother, "Nestley Toulouse. "
309
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:32,800
What was her name?
310
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,100
Nestley Toulouse.
311
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:40,100
Nestlй Tollhouse?
312
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,700
You Americans always butcher
the French language.
313
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,000
Phoebe, is this the recipe?
314
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,700
Yes!
315
00:17:58,700 --> 00:17:59,800
Oh.
316
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,100
I cannot believe that I spent. . .
317
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,300
. . .two days figuring out that recipe.
318
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,900
It was here the whole time!
319
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:09,900
I know! You see,
it is stuff like this. . .
320
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,500
. . .which is why
you're burning in hell!
321
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:17,600
So you understand.
322
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,300
I'd feel better if you
didn't tell what happened.
323
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,200
I'm a little embarrassed about it.
324
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,300
I understand completely.
325
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,900
Nothing's scarier
than embarrassing yourself. . .
326
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,100
. . .in front of your in-laws.
327
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:33,400
As a matter of fact, when I started
dating Judy, I was unemployed.
328
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,800
Her father asked me
what I did for a living.
329
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,700
I said I was a lawyer.
330
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,300
-What'd you do when they found out?
-They never did.
331
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:44,100
So if you ever see me giving them
legal advice, just nod along.
332
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:46,700
Shall we?
333
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,900
So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here.
334
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:18,600
Well, Joey, I hate to admit it. . .
335
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,200
. . .your way of sailing
is a lot more fun.
336
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,800
Why don't you give a pull
on that rope?
337
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,100
We're not sailing.
338
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,400
-Just pull on it.
-All right.
339
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,600
Sandwiches!
340
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,300
What else?
341
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,700
Here you go.
342
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,000
-Thank you.
-Oh, wow.
343
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,300
-What are you doing?
-Sorry.
344
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,700
Not like that. You're letting
all the good stuff fall out.
345
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,700
Careful!
You're wasting good pastrami!
346
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,200
Oh, my God. I'm my dad!
|
1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,380
Привет, ребята.
2
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:09,800
Ну, что скажете?
3
00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:12,261
- Насчёт чего?
- Ты о чём?
4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,890
Вы что, шутите?
Ладно, я намекну.
5
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,771
Глаза. Нет, нет. Твои глаза. Нет.
6
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,523
Глаза Чендлера.
7
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,443
Я в очках.
8
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,070
Ты всегда носил очки.
9
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,450
Нет, не носил.
10
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,244
Ты уверен?
11
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,330
Разве у тебя нет очков?
12
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:44,668
Ну, таких круглых, бордового цвета,
они ещё делали тебя таким...
13
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,879
- Женственным.
- Точно.
14
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,297
Нет.
15
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,341
Мне нравятся твои очки.
Ты такой сексуальный.
16
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,010
- Правда?
- Ага.
17
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,387
Ты ведь не думала, что я ношу очки?
18
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:56,597
Нет, конечно!
19
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,265
(По губам) Понятия не имею!
1
00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:03,429
<b><c:#80FF80>ДРУЗЬЯ</c></b>
2
00:01:03,529 --> 00:01:05,976
Сезон 7. Серия 3
Печенье Фиби
3
00:01:06,076 --> 00:01:11,051
В переводе участвовали: AlexFriend,
Denlerien, Nancy_Tompson, nitai4andra
4
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,948
Что вы хотите получить
в подарок на свою помолвку?
5
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,242
Ничего, мы ведь не устраиваем
никакой вечеринки...
6
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:01,203
...так что...
7
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:05,457
Если кто-то хочет сделать нам подарок,
мы не имеем права лишать его этой радости.
8
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,961
Подари им небольшой CD-проигрыватель.
9
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,504
У меня уже есть такой.
10
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,882
Кто-то взял его послушать
и оставил у гинеколога.
11
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:20,556
Ага, и под словом "кто-то"
она имеет в виду Джоуи.
12
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,350
Я знаю, что хочу.
13
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,311
- Что мы хотим, дорогая.
- Нет, тебе это не нужно.
14
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,982
Я хочу рецепт
печенья твоей бабушки.
15
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,609
Ты имеешь в виду рецепт
печенья с шоколадной крошкой?
16
00:02:32,677 --> 00:02:34,611
- Ага, да.
- Тот рецепт, тайну которого...
17
00:02:34,679 --> 00:02:36,546
...я поклялась своей умирающей бабушке...
18
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,074
...хранить в кругу нашей семьи?
19
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,870
Умирающие требуют
от близких невозможного.
20
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,833
Я столько лет мечтала о нем. Я хотела
готовить это печенье своим детям.
21
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,503
Ты разбиваешь мне сердце. О, ну хорошо.
22
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:55,215
Я буду мамой, которая готовит лучшее в мире печенье
с шоколадной крошкой.
23
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:58,719
Наши дети будут толстыми, да?
24
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,264
Ахой!
(приветствие моряков на корабле)
25
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,184
- Как твоя яхта?
- Разбираюсь что к чему.
26
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,186
Ты уже выходил на ней из гавани?
27
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,271
Зачем мне это?
28
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,858
Её туда три парня ставили.
29
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,777
Если ты не плаваешь на ней, то зачем она тебе
нужна?
30
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,863
Это отличное место,
чтобы посидеть...
31
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,491
...расслабиться, выпить пива, поесть чипсов.
32
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,288
Я рад, что ты, наконец,
нашёл, где этим заняться.
33
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,374
Если хочешь, я могу
научить тебя управлять яхтой.
34
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,002
- Правда?
- Я всю жизнь плаваю на яхте.
35
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:35,214
Когда мне было 15, папа
купил мне собственную яхту.
36
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:38,800
- Собственную яхту?
- Он пытался подбодрить меня.
37
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,886
Мой пони заболел.
38
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,399
- Знаешь, о чём я думал?
- О чём?
39
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,944
Ни о чём, мне просто
нравится делать так.
40
00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:01,323
- Какие планы на вечер?
- У тебя лекция?
41
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,785
- Нет, а что?
- Ну, тогда я свободен как ветер. Что ты хотел?
42
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,746
Папа спрашивал, не хочешь ли
ты поиграть с нами в теннис.
43
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,623
Здорово! Значит, ты ему нравишься.
44
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,876
- Он не приглашает кого попало.
- Вообще-то, он не звал тебя.
45
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,546
Он звал Чонси. Я предположил,
что он имел в виду тебя.
46
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,632
Ты поправил его?
47
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,426
Нет, я подумал,
что так будет смешнее.
48
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:25,347
Потрясающе! Может, вы станете
играть каждую неделю.
49
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,015
Или ты можешь сидеть
с ним на крыльце...
50
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,643
...и следить, чтобы никто
не украл мусорные баки.
51
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,937
Этим он тоже занимается каждую неделю.
52
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,566
Только имей в виду - ты должен дать ему
выиграть. Он ненавидит проигрывать.
53
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,736
Нет проблем.
Я могу играть левой рукой.
54
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,197
А ты разве не левша?
55
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,367
Вы хоть что-то знаете обо мне?
56
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,498
Фиби, что-то не так?
57
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:55,085
Я пошла в свою старую
квартиру за рецептом печенья...
58
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,796
...а оказалось, что этот дурацкий
пожар его уничтожил.
59
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,883
Нет! Почему ты не сделала
копию и не спрятала её в сейф...
60
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:05,012
...и не хранила хотя бы
в 100 метрах от оригинала?
61
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,312
Потому что я - нормальная.
62
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,691
Это единственное, что досталось мне от бабушки.
63
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,777
И ты так хотела получить его
в подарок на помолвку.
64
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,113
Мы делаем вам
подарки в честь помолвки?
65
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,324
Не переживай, Фибс!
66
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,076
А мне на помолвку
ничего не дарили.
67
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:32,247
Ладно, рецепта у меня нет, но вот.
68
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,916
Желаю вам здоровья и счастья.
69
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,961
Старое печенье?
70
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:41,590
Вот что случается, когда
не составляешь список подарков.
71
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:47,429
Я испекла партию и заморозила. Это последнее.
72
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,098
- Мы не можем принять его.
Почему?
73
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,101
Потому, что оно черствое.
74
00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:57,064
Нет, подожди! Думаю, я смогу
вычислить рецепт по печенью!
75
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,732
Я часто этим занимаюсь на работе.
76
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,442
- Правда?
- Я думаю да.
77
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,985
Ура!
78
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:07,282
Ладно, Росс, за нами подарок.
79
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,785
2, я был помолвлен дважды.
80
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,295
Посмотри на этого клоуна.
81
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,799
Он думает, раз лодка больше, он
может весь залив перегородить.
82
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,676
С дороги, осёл.
83
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,056
Кому только придёт в голову
назвать яхту Береговая охрана?
84
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,812
Это и есть береговая охрана.
85
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,231
Берег вон там.
86
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,608
Джоуи, просто не обращай внимания на яхты.
87
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,069
- Мы не закончили наш урок.
- Ладно.
88
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,488
Ещё раз пройдёмся по
основным моментам. Готов?
89
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,825
Да, ладно тебе, Рэйч, я всё запомнил.
Давай куда-нибудь поплывём!
90
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:53,620
Я хочу вон туда где
полный корабль девчонок.
91
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,248
Вот оно что! Ты просто хочешь...
92
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,167
...покрасоваться перед
горячими девчонками?
93
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,670
Ладно, давай, Моряк Джо.
94
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:05,006
Только один вопросик:
Как это называется?
95
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:09,469
- Лодочная верёвка?
- Неправильно.
96
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,347
Что ты будешь делать, чтобы поднять парус?
97
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,599
Потереть его?
98
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:21,148
Что значит "лечь на другой галс"?
99
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,733
Поменять позу?
100
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:26,445
Нет, нет, я это знаю... знаю...
101
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,532
Время вышло. Ты умер.
102
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,825
И оглох.
103
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,161
Ты можешь шутить сколько угодно.
104
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,371
Но если ты не знаешь,
что делать в открытом море...
105
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,958
...ты умрёшь.
Это до тебя дошло?
106
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,461
- Да.
- Простого "да" мало.
107
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,172
Это не игра. Ты здесь
можешь пострадать.
108
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:48,133
Ты будешь меня слушать,
или ты хочешь умереть?
109
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:54,264
Я хочу позвонить Чендлеру.
110
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,526
- Я определённо чувствую мускатный орех.
- Правда?
111
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:09,529
А ты нет? Ну, в этом вся разница...
112
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,531
...между профи и дилетантом.
113
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,951
Да, это, и высокомерие.
114
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,163
Привет.
115
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:19,915
Привет. Как поплавали?
116
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,626
Я не хочу об этом говорить.
117
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,253
Могли бы оставить и целое.
118
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,593
Все женщины злые!
119
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,557
Не могу поверить.
120
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:41,061
Все, что осталось от наследства
моей бабушки - это...
121
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,896
...эта крошка.
122
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,692
Я желаю вам долгой и
счастливой совместной жизни.
123
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,572
- Привет.
- Привет. Как все прошло?
124
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,449
Ну, я отлично провёл время.
125
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,953
Что же касается Чонси...
126
00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,163
Я сам расскажу.
127
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,500
Всё было прекрасно. Я дал
ему выиграть, мы сблизились...
128
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,585
...он даже сказал, что я
могу называть его "папой".
129
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,587
И как попросил не называть?
130
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,006
"Папулей".
131
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,134
Короче, дело было так.
132
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,429
Мы как раз закончили
играть в тенис...
133
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,223
...и собрались попариться.
134
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,975
Я зашёл в парилку...
135
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,060
...где было очень много пара!
136
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,816
Я снял очки, и вот
что было дальше.
137
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,025
Ребята?
138
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:32,195
- Мы здесь.
- Садись, сынок.
139
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,369
Эй!
140
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,382
- Господи, Чендлер, это невероятно!
- Я знаю.
141
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,968
Ты устроил моему
отцу приватный танец.
142
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,974
Почему там так много пара?
143
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:07,272
Иначе они не смогли
бы звать её парилкой.
144
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,861
Почему?
Почему это случилось?
145
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,280
Да брось, ничего страшного!
146
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,866
Ничего страшного?
147
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,493
Я к нему кое-чем прикоснулся.
148
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,871
Я же знаю, что ты хотел сблизиться с моим отцом...
149
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,249
...но я не думал, что настолько.
150
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:33,089
Я уверена, что папа не переживает.
Наверняка это показалось ему забавным.
151
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,050
Он будет рассказывать
эту историю ещё много лет.
152
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:38,011
Я не хочу, чтобы он
рассказывал её много лет.
153
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,597
А он обязательно будет.
154
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:45,518
Он до сих пор рассказывает, как Моника
пыталась сбежать из лагеря толстяков.
155
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,480
Я не пыталась сбежать.
156
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,940
Тогда как ты попалась в колючую проволоку?
157
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,818
Я пыталась спасти белку.
158
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,820
Ты пыталась съесть её.
159
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,993
Если это ваш отец звонит,
чтобы рассказать эту историю...
160
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,953
...то свадьба отменяется.
161
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,539
Да ладно тебе. Алло.
162
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,584
Извините, но вы ошиблись номером.
163
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,753
Пап, я тебе перезвоню.
Люблю тебя.
164
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,637
Я собираюсь встретиться с твоим отцом.
165
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,014
А на тебе не слишком много одежды?
166
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,727
И не забудь взять с него
чаевые на этот раз.
167
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:32,107
Я подумал, что должен попытаться убедить
его больше не рассказывать эту историю...
168
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,235
...и я подумал, что лучше всего
сделать это лицом к лицу.
169
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,987
И когда я говорю "лицо",
я не имею в виду его колени.
170
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,074
И когда я говорю "к лицу",
я не имею в виду свой зад.
171
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,663
Ты придумала, что подарить Монике и Чендлеру?
172
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,249
Не знаю. Они ведь нам ничего не дарили.
173
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,084
Спасибо!
174
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,212
Привет.
175
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,964
Привет-привет!
176
00:11:56,173 --> 00:11:59,050
Ну, дружок, и когда мы
снова отправимся в плавание?
177
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,471
Я не знаю, как сказать
это по-морскому - никогда.
178
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:09,060
- Почему?
- Потому что на яхте ты злая.
179
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,521
Я просто пытаюсь научить тебя.
180
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,107
Ну, урок усвоен.
Рэйчел - злая.
181
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,194
Да, да, да.
182
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,573
Помню, как она позвала меня
прокатиться на яхте её отца.
183
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,575
Она не разрешала мне ей помогать.
184
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:27,162
Прости, я хотела, чтобы ты помог,
но ты не мог пошевелиться...
185
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,373
...потому что на тебе было
три спасательных жилета.
186
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,461
Море нужно уважать!
187
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,798
Джоуи, мне жаль, что
я показалась тебе злой.
188
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,134
Поверь мне - я не злая.
189
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:45,096
Вот мой отец - злой. Он
постоянно на меня орал на яхте.
190
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:48,433
Это было ужасно.
А я - очень хороший учитель.
191
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:51,519
Разве хороший учитель
сказал бы: "Убери пиво, тупица".
192
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,774
А разве хороший ученик выпивает
7 банок пива на первом уроке?
193
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,525
6 с половиной.
194
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,028
Ты выбила последнюю у меня из руки, помнишь?
195
00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,155
Я не хотела чтобы
тебя ударило боном.
196
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,698
Но мне всё-таки досталось.
197
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,118
А если бы я допил пиво,
мне было бы не так больно.
198
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,249
Прости. Я постараюсь
быть спокойнее и не кричать.
199
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,544
- И не будешь командовать?
- Не буду.
200
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,338
- Будешь милой?
- Я буду милой.
201
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,216
- И будешь топлес?
- И... Джоуи!
202
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,801
Ты хочешь, чтобы я научился?
203
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,266
Хорошо. Это образец 22.
204
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,477
Надеюсь, он будет похож
на печенье твоей бабушки.
205
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,396
В нём немного цукатов,
но нет мускатного ореха
206
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,482
Давай попробуем!
207
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,193
Я не пекла столько печенья
с 9-го класса.
208
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:44,113
- Для чего? Для распродажи?
- Нет, просто на вечер пятницы.
209
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:53,206
- Этот довольно неплох.
- Да, но не так хорош, как образец 17.
210
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,457
Это который?
211
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,793
Который мы пробовали после того,
как тебя чуть не стошнило.
212
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,421
О да. Образец 17 был хорош.
213
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,299
Мне не понравился шестнадцатый.
214
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,427
Я в порядке.
215
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,682
А от хорошего ничего не осталось?
Мы могли бы поработать над ним.
216
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,561
Да, кажется ещё один
образец 17 остался.
217
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:22,485
Образец 16. 16. Люди, с дороги
218
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,746
Хорошо, Джо. Ты действительно
хорошо справляешься.
219
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,083
Теперь сядь возле
левого борта
220
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,965
Помнишь, мы говорили об этом?
221
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,717
О, да!
222
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,093
Нет.
223
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,473
Это слева, милый. Ну ничего.
Это немного сложно
224
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,100
Почему просто не
сказать "сядь слева"?
225
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,060
Хорошо. Сядь слева
226
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,233
Слева!
227
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,651
Просто сядь здесь!
228
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,070
Ты опять кричишь!
229
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:10,199
Нет, нет, нет. Я очень тихо.
Я говорю это с любовью, не кричу.
230
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,745
Знаешь что?
231
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:17,332
Раз я тут, я хочу
выпить пиво у левого борта
232
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,335
Видишь, что я здесь делаю?
233
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,133
Мы немного идём в бейдевинд. Можешь
подтянуть оттяжку Каннингхэма?
234
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:31,471
Ты сейчас наговорила кучу
непонятных мне слов.
235
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,390
Джоуи, чёрт! Мы же
только что это проходили!
236
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:38,770
В это время над нами
пролетала птица с рыбой во рту.
237
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:42,023
- Ты видела? Вот это - класс!
- Нет! Я не видела птицы!
238
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:46,319
Я не видела рыбы! Я не видела куска
пенопласта в форме Майка Тайсона!
239
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:51,908
Не видела, потому что пыталась
научить тебя управлять яхтой!
240
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,869
Что, судя по всему, не
представляется возможным!
241
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,164
Всё, хватит! Ты орешь,
и так и не разделась.
242
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,166
Я завязываю!
243
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,336
- Что значит "завязываю"?! Ты не можешь
завязать!
- Почему нет?
244
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:07,048
Мы ещё не закончили, и я этого
не потерплю! Грины не сдаются.
245
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,634
Грины?
246
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,971
Я - Триббиани. А Триббиани сдаются.
247
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,392
Боже мой! Стой.
248
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,687
Я только что сказала
"Грины не сдаются", да?
249
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:25,525
- Я сказала: "Грины не сдаются"?
- Да, и ты продолжаешь кричать на меня!
250
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,611
Нет, я не кричу на тебя.
Я просто кричу рядом с тобой.
251
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,697
О Боже, Джоуи!
Я такая же, как отец.
252
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,616
Боже мой! Это ужасно!
253
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:38,621
Я так боялась стать похожей на мать,
что не заметила этого.
254
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,833
О, Джоуи!
255
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,879
Прости меня. Прости, пожалуйста!
Я просто хотела чтобы ты научился.
256
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,677
И я научился.
257
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,971
- Правда?
- Да, конечно.
258
00:16:55,239 --> 00:16:58,016
- Нет.
- Все в порядке.
259
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,643
Я знаю что это грот.
260
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:04,731
Я знаю, что нужно
пригнуться, когда бун рядом.
261
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,026
- Я знаю, что это правый борт.
- Левый.
262
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,736
Вот блин!
263
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,241
Моя бабушка была бы счастлива...
264
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,369
...что пытаемся угадать её рецепт.
265
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:23,082
Могу поспорить, что сейчас она
смотрит на нас снизу и улыбается.
266
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,502
Снизу?
267
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:31,299
Она очень хорошо ко мне относилась,
но она точно попала в ад.
268
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,136
Я уже все перепробовала.
Я сдаюсь.
269
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,181
Я не буду мамой которая
печёт лучшее в мире печенье.
270
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:43,603
Но я ведь делаю лучшее
утиное конфи с брокколи рааб.
271
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,021
Дети её обожают, правда?
272
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:50,568
Может, кто-то из твоих
родственников знает рецепт?
273
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,403
Может, сестра?
274
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,448
Нет. Я пообещала себе,
что в следующий раз...
275
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,785
...заговорю с Урсулой
только на своих похоронах.
276
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:04,791
Чего не произойдёт
до 15 октября 2032.
277
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,168
Это день твоей смерти?
278
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,338
В этот день я запланировал
партию в шаффлборд.
279
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,216
Это ты так думаешь.
280
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,847
А как насчёт друзей твоей бабушки?
Может, у них есть рецепт?
281
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:23,601
Возможно, мои родственники
из Франции знают его.
282
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,603
Бабушка говорила он
достался ей...
283
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:29,357
...от её бабушки, Нестле Тулуз.
284
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,276
Как её звали?
285
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,280
Нестле Тулуз.
286
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,867
"Нестле Толл Хауз"?
287
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,792
Вы, американцы,
всегда коверкаете французский.
288
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,255
Фиби, это тот самый рецепт?
289
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,134
Да!
290
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,429
О!
291
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,934
Я не могу поверить, что провела
2 дня пытаясь восстановить рецепт...
292
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,811
...который лежал у меня в шкафчике!
293
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:10,940
Я знаю! Знаешь, именно
из-за таких проделок...
294
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,651
...ты горишь в аду!
295
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,031
Я думаю вы понимаете.
296
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,909
Мне было бы спокойнее если бы
вы не рассказывали эту историю.
297
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,745
Знаете, я немного... Я немного
смущён произошедшим.
298
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:28,291
Конечно, я понимаю.
299
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,960
Нет ничего хуже, чем опозориться
перед родителями жены.
300
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:35,506
Кстати, когда я начал встречаться
с Джуди я был без работы.
301
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,717
А её отец спросил меня чем
я зарабатываю на жизнь.
302
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,094
Я сказал, что работаю адвокатом.
303
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,680
- И что вы сделали когда они узнали правду?
- Они так не узнали.
304
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,559
И если услышишь, как я даю им
юридическую консультацию - просто кивай.
305
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,312
Пошли?
306
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:07,371
Итак, я полагаю что
должен был одеть плавки.
307
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,845
Джоуи, не хочется это признавать...
308
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,681
...но твой стиль катания
на яхте гораздо веселее.
309
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,142
Ага.
310
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:31,479
Почему бы тебе не
потянуть ту верёвку?
311
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,855
Но мы же не плывём.
312
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,275
- Просто потяни.
- Ладно.
313
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,865
Сэндвичи!
314
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,284
А что же ещё!
315
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,203
Держи.
316
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:50,623
- Спасибо!
- О, вау!
317
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,669
- Что ты делаешь?
- Прости.
318
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:58,005
Не держи его так! Так всё
самое вкусное повыпадывает.
319
00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,924
Осторожно!
320
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,593
Ты испортила отличное пастрами!
321
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,349
Боже мой! Я как мой отец!
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