1
00:00:06,532 --> 00:00:08,762
Oh, look, look!
There's Joey's picture!
2
00:00:08,972 --> 00:00:10,246
This is so exciting!
3
00:00:10,452 --> 00:00:13,250
You can spot someone who's
never seen his plays.
4
00:00:13,492 --> 00:00:15,881
Notice, no fear.
No sense of impending doom.
5
00:00:16,092 --> 00:00:18,208
The exclamation point scares me.
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,602
It's not just Freud,
it's Freud!
7
00:00:21,972 --> 00:00:23,610
Magic is about to happen!
8
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,125
Well, Eva. . .
9
00:00:26,892 --> 00:00:29,850
. . .we've done
some excellent work here.
10
00:00:31,092 --> 00:00:32,730
And I would have to say. . .
11
00:00:33,252 --> 00:00:36,847
. . .your problem is quite clear.
12
00:00:38,612 --> 00:00:41,684
All you want is a dinkle
13
00:00:42,052 --> 00:00:44,805
What you envy's a schwang
14
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:48,209
A thing through which you can tinkle
15
00:00:48,412 --> 00:00:50,972
To play with or simply let hang
16
00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:53,288
The One With the Butt
17
00:00:54,572 --> 00:00:55,561
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
18
00:01:46,972 --> 00:01:49,008
I feel violated.
19
00:01:49,772 --> 00:01:52,764
Did anybody else feel like
peeling their skin off. . .
20
00:01:52,972 --> 00:01:54,803
. . .to have something else to do?
21
00:01:55,452 --> 00:01:56,441
Ross, 1 0:00.
22
00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,410
Is it? It feels like 2.
23
00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:01,410
No, 1 0:00!
24
00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:07,001
There's a beautiful woman
at 8, 9, 1 0:00!
25
00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,207
Hello!
26
00:02:10,452 --> 00:02:11,248
She's amazing!
27
00:02:11,492 --> 00:02:15,087
She makes the women I dream about
look like short, fat, bald men.
28
00:02:16,252 --> 00:02:17,890
Go over to her.
She's not with anyone.
29
00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:19,844
And what would my opening line be?
30
00:02:20,092 --> 00:02:21,411
Excuse me. . . .
31
00:02:23,892 --> 00:02:26,122
Come on, she's a person.
You can do it.
32
00:02:26,332 --> 00:02:29,210
Could she be more out of my league?
Ross, back me up.
33
00:02:29,412 --> 00:02:32,210
He could never get a woman
like that in a million years.
34
00:02:34,212 --> 00:02:37,841
But you always see these beautiful
women with these ''nothing'' guys.
35
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,003
You could be one of those guys.
36
00:02:40,972 --> 00:02:42,724
-You could do that.
-You think?
37
00:02:42,972 --> 00:02:43,802
Absolutely!
38
00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:46,526
I can't believe
I'm even considering this.
39
00:02:46,772 --> 00:02:49,240
-I'm very aware of my tongue.
-Come on.
40
00:02:49,492 --> 00:02:50,641
Here goes.
41
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,123
Okay, next word would be. . .
42
00:03:01,332 --> 00:03:02,321
. . .Chandler.
43
00:03:03,452 --> 00:03:06,012
Chandler is my name and. . . .
44
00:03:06,532 --> 00:03:07,328
Hi!
45
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:10,845
Yes, you said that.
46
00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:13,925
Yes! Yes, I did.
But what I didn't say. . .
47
00:03:14,132 --> 00:03:16,123
. . .what I wanted to say was. . .
48
00:03:16,332 --> 00:03:19,404
. . .would you like to go out with me?
Thank you. Good night.
49
00:03:20,052 --> 00:03:21,201
Chandler?
50
00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:24,488
There he is!
51
00:03:24,692 --> 00:03:27,081
-I didn't know you could dance!
-You were in a play!
52
00:03:28,012 --> 00:03:29,411
What'd you think?
53
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:33,284
-I didn't know you could dance!
-You were in a play!
54
00:03:33,492 --> 00:03:36,052
Come on, it wasn't that bad.
I was the lead.
55
00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:39,369
It was better than the troll thing.
At least you got to see my head.
56
00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:42,568
-You're right.
-We saw your head.
57
00:03:42,772 --> 00:03:44,251
She said yes! She said yes!
58
00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:47,210
Awful play, man!
59
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:53,845
Her name's Aurora. She's Italian
and she pronounces my name ''Chandler. ''
60
00:03:55,852 --> 00:03:58,844
I like that better.
The usher gave me this to give to you.
61
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:02,010
-What is it?
-The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.
62
00:04:02,212 --> 00:04:04,931
An agency left me its card.
Maybe they wanna sign me!
63
00:04:05,132 --> 00:04:06,247
Based on this play?
64
00:04:08,772 --> 00:04:10,683
Based on this play!
65
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,407
Hey, kids!
66
00:04:21,692 --> 00:04:24,968
No, because this line is passion,
and this is just a line.
67
00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:28,841
I've been here seven seconds, and you
haven't asked me how my date went.
68
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,366
How was your date, Chandler?
69
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:33,766
It was unbelievable!
70
00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:37,567
I've never met anyone like her.
She's had the most amazing life!
71
00:04:37,772 --> 00:04:39,046
She was in the Israeli army.
72
00:04:39,292 --> 00:04:41,442
None of the bullets hit
the engine block. . .
73
00:04:41,692 --> 00:04:43,967
. . .so we made it to the border.
74
00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:46,003
But just barely and I. . . .
75
00:04:47,052 --> 00:04:50,806
I've been talking about myself
all night long. I'm sorry.
76
00:04:51,012 --> 00:04:53,003
What about you?
Tell me your stories.
77
00:04:53,852 --> 00:04:55,001
All right, once. . .
78
00:04:55,252 --> 00:04:57,846
. . .once I got on the subway, right?
79
00:04:58,092 --> 00:04:59,650
And it was at night. . .
80
00:04:59,892 --> 00:05:02,406
. . .and I rode it
all the way to Brooklyn. . .
81
00:05:03,292 --> 00:05:05,010
. . .just for the hell of it.
82
00:05:05,812 --> 00:05:08,280
We talked till 2.
It was this perfect evening.
83
00:05:09,492 --> 00:05:10,368
More or less.
84
00:05:10,572 --> 00:05:12,847
Suddenly, we realized
we were in Yemen.
85
00:05:13,252 --> 00:05:14,765
I'm sorry, so ''we'' is. . .?
86
00:05:15,612 --> 00:05:16,806
''We'' is me and Rick.
87
00:05:17,052 --> 00:05:17,928
Who's Rick?
88
00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:19,366
Who's Rick?
89
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:21,522
My husband.
90
00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:26,167
-Oh, so you're divorced?
-No.
91
00:05:27,092 --> 00:05:30,209
I'm sorry. So you're widowed?
Hopefully?
92
00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:32,765
No, I'm still married.
93
00:05:34,492 --> 00:05:38,610
So how would your husband feel
about you sitting here with me. . .
94
00:05:39,092 --> 00:05:41,162
. . .sliding your foot
so far up my leg. . .
95
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:43,806
. . .you can count
the change in my pocket?
96
00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:46,646
Don't worry.
97
00:05:46,852 --> 00:05:49,730
I imagine he'd be okay with you
because he's okay with Ethan.
98
00:05:51,212 --> 00:05:53,521
Ethan? There's an Ethan?
99
00:05:54,692 --> 00:05:56,489
Ethan is my. . .
100
00:05:57,092 --> 00:05:57,888
. . .boyfriend.
101
00:05:58,212 --> 00:05:59,247
What?!
102
00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:04,045
What kind of relationship
do you imagine us having. . .
103
00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:06,720
. . .if you already have
a husband and a boyfriend?
104
00:06:07,612 --> 00:06:10,001
I suppose, mainly sexual.
105
00:06:13,492 --> 00:06:15,050
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
106
00:06:15,412 --> 00:06:18,404
What not work out?
I'm seeing her again on Thursday.
107
00:06:18,772 --> 00:06:20,205
Didn't you listen to the story?
108
00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:24,204
Didn't you listen to the story?
109
00:06:24,412 --> 00:06:27,006
How could you get involved
with a woman like this?
110
00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:30,528
I had trouble with it at first.
But I get all the good stuff.
111
00:06:30,732 --> 00:06:34,008
All the fun, all the talking,
all the sex. . .
112
00:06:34,212 --> 00:06:35,804
. . .and no responsibility.
113
00:06:37,372 --> 00:06:39,090
This is every guy's fantasy!
114
00:06:39,292 --> 00:06:41,726
That is not true.
Ross, is this your fantasy?
115
00:06:41,972 --> 00:06:43,610
No, of course not.
116
00:06:45,812 --> 00:06:47,564
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
117
00:06:48,292 --> 00:06:51,807
You'd go out with someone else
who's going out with someone else?
118
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:53,088
I couldn't.
119
00:06:53,292 --> 00:06:54,281
Good for you.
120
00:06:54,572 --> 00:06:56,642
When I'm with a woman,
I need to know. . .
121
00:06:56,852 --> 00:06:59,605
. . .that I'm going out
with more people than she is.
122
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:01,122
You know. . .
123
00:07:01,332 --> 00:07:04,210
. . .monogamy can be a tricky concept.
124
00:07:04,412 --> 00:07:06,801
I mean, anthropologically speaking. . . .
125
00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:10,403
Fine. Now you'll never know.
126
00:07:10,652 --> 00:07:12,165
We're kidding. Tell us.
127
00:07:12,372 --> 00:07:13,851
-We wanna know.
-Come on!
128
00:07:14,092 --> 00:07:17,767
All right. There's a theory
put forth by Richard Leakey--
129
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:31,484
Are we greeting each other
this way now? I like that.
130
00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:34,684
Look! I cleaned!
131
00:07:34,892 --> 00:07:37,042
I did the windows.
I did the floors.
132
00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:40,449
I used all the attachments on
the vacuum except for that round one.
133
00:07:40,652 --> 00:07:42,005
I don't know what it's for.
134
00:07:42,252 --> 00:07:44,322
Nobody knows, and we're
not supposed to ask.
135
00:07:45,492 --> 00:07:46,641
What do you think?
136
00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:49,486
-It's very clean.
-Really, it looks great!
137
00:07:53,892 --> 00:07:56,281
I see you moved the green ottoman.
138
00:08:00,052 --> 00:08:01,485
How did that happen?
139
00:08:02,892 --> 00:08:05,247
I don't know.
I thought it looked better there.
140
00:08:05,492 --> 00:08:08,643
And also, it's an extra seat
around the coffee table.
141
00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:11,083
Yeah, it's interesting.
142
00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:14,608
But you know what? Just for fun. . .
143
00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:18,402
. . .let's see what it looked like
in the old spot.
144
00:08:19,092 --> 00:08:20,810
Just to compare.
145
00:08:21,012 --> 00:08:22,240
Let's see.
146
00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:24,449
Well, it looks good there too.
147
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,928
Let's leave it there for a while.
148
00:08:27,892 --> 00:08:30,611
I can't believe you tried
to move the green ottoman.
149
00:08:31,692 --> 00:08:33,808
Thank God you didn't
fan out the magazines.
150
00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:35,809
She'll scratch your eyes out.
151
00:08:36,052 --> 00:08:37,804
You guys, I am not that bad!
152
00:08:38,012 --> 00:08:39,206
Yeah, you are.
153
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:42,005
Remember, I lived with you?
154
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:44,004
You were a little, you know. . . .
155
00:08:47,852 --> 00:08:49,080
That is so unfair!
156
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:52,967
When we were kids, yours was the only
Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy.
157
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:58,206
Okay, so I'm responsible.
I'm organized.
158
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,164
But, hey, I can be a kook!
159
00:09:02,452 --> 00:09:04,443
All right, you madcap gal!
160
00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:07,247
Try to imagine this.
161
00:09:07,452 --> 00:09:11,001
The phone bill arrives,
but you don't pay it right away.
162
00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:12,048
Why not?
163
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,731
Because you're a kook!
164
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,411
lnstead, you wait until
they send you a notice.
165
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,441
I could do that.
166
00:09:20,652 --> 00:09:24,440
Okay, then you let me
go grocery shopping. . .
167
00:09:24,652 --> 00:09:26,370
. . .and I buy laundry detergent.
168
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,889
But it's not the one
with the easy-pour spout.
169
00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:31,650
Why would someone do that?
170
00:09:33,852 --> 00:09:35,808
One might wonder.
171
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:38,652
A glass is on the table.
There's no coaster.
172
00:09:38,892 --> 00:09:40,610
It's a cold drink. It's a hot day.
173
00:09:41,292 --> 00:09:45,410
Beads of condensation are inching
their way closer to the wood. . . .
174
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:46,641
Stop it!
175
00:09:50,212 --> 00:09:51,440
Oh, my God!
176
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,723
It's true. Who am I?
177
00:09:54,212 --> 00:09:56,168
Monica, you're Mom.
178
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,201
Oh, my God!
179
00:10:07,772 --> 00:10:09,410
Okay, I'll be there.
180
00:10:11,692 --> 00:10:13,205
That was my agent.
181
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:19,643
My agent has just gotten me a job
in the new Al Pacino movie!
182
00:10:21,012 --> 00:10:22,331
That's great!
183
00:10:22,852 --> 00:10:23,648
What's the part?
184
00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:25,808
Can you believe this?
Al Pacino!
185
00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:27,804
This guy's why I became an actor.
186
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:30,242
''I'm out of order?
You're out of order!
187
00:10:30,492 --> 00:10:33,211
This whole courtroom's out of order! ''
188
00:10:34,212 --> 00:10:35,804
Seriously, what's the part?
189
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,567
''Just when I thought I was out,
they pull me back in! ''
190
00:10:39,892 --> 00:10:42,804
Come on. Seriously,
Joey, what's the part?
191
00:10:44,692 --> 00:10:46,205
You're, you're. . . .
What?
192
00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:50,967
I'm his butt double, okay?
193
00:10:55,212 --> 00:10:57,646
I play Al Pacino's butt.
194
00:10:59,812 --> 00:11:02,929
All right? He goes
into the shower, and then. . .
195
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:04,605
. . .I'm his butt.
196
00:11:05,452 --> 00:11:06,601
Oh, my God!
197
00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:08,007
Come on, you guys.
198
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:11,403
This is a real movie
and Al Pacino's in it and that's big!
199
00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:13,005
Oh, no, it's terrific.
200
00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,328
After all your years of struggling. . .
201
00:11:15,532 --> 00:11:18,604
. . .you've finally been able
to crack your way into show business.
202
00:11:21,652 --> 00:11:23,927
Okay, fine.
Make jokes, I don't care.
203
00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:25,525
This is a big break for me!
204
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,330
You're right. It is.
205
00:11:28,492 --> 00:11:31,211
So are you gonna invite us all
to the big opening?
206
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,046
-I need to borrow some moisturizer.
-For what?
207
00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:48,163
What do you think?
Today's the big day!
208
00:11:48,692 --> 00:11:51,411
Okay, go into the bathroom.
Use whatever you want.
209
00:11:51,612 --> 00:11:54,206
Just don't ever tell me
what you did in there.
210
00:11:54,692 --> 00:11:55,647
Thank you.
211
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,483
-Joey's mom's on the phone.
-He's in the bathroom.
212
00:12:00,692 --> 00:12:04,002
-You don't wanna go in there!
-Come on, we're roommates.
213
00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:08,041
My eyes! My eyes!
214
00:12:10,492 --> 00:12:11,925
I warned you.
215
00:12:12,172 --> 00:12:13,890
Who is being loud?
216
00:12:14,092 --> 00:12:16,003
Oh, that would be Monica.
217
00:12:16,532 --> 00:12:19,205
Can I borrow some things?
I wanna make Aurora breakfast.
218
00:12:19,452 --> 00:12:21,124
You got the whole night, huh?
219
00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:24,523
Well, I only have 20 minutes
until Ethan, so. . . .
220
00:12:24,772 --> 00:12:26,603
Do I sense a bit of resentment?
221
00:12:26,852 --> 00:12:29,810
No, no, no. No resentment.
Believe me. . .
222
00:12:30,052 --> 00:12:32,043
. . .it's worth it, okay?
223
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,368
In a relationship,
you have these key moments. . .
224
00:12:34,572 --> 00:12:36,927
. . .you'll remember
for the rest of your life.
225
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:40,244
Well, every single second
is like that with Aurora.
226
00:12:40,492 --> 00:12:42,881
And I've just wasted
35 of them talking to you.
227
00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:46,209
So, Monica, can you
help me with the door?
228
00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:49,760
You know, the old Monica
would remind you. . .
229
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:53,601
. . .to scrub that Teflon pan
with a plastic brush.
230
00:12:54,972 --> 00:12:56,803
But I'm not gonna do that.
231
00:13:02,452 --> 00:13:04,602
Damn it! Hire the girl.
232
00:13:05,692 --> 00:13:06,841
Okay, everybody ready?
233
00:13:07,572 --> 00:13:11,087
Listen, I just wanna thank you
for this great opportunity.
234
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,281
Lose the robe.
235
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:15,328
Me?
236
00:13:15,572 --> 00:13:16,766
That would work.
237
00:13:17,252 --> 00:13:20,005
Right. Okay.
Losing the robe!
238
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,329
Okay, and the robe is lost.
239
00:13:24,092 --> 00:13:26,765
Everybody, I would like
to get this in one take.
240
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,246
Let's roll it.
241
00:13:28,452 --> 00:13:29,805
Water's working.
242
00:13:30,572 --> 00:13:32,290
And action!
243
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:35,645
And cut!
244
00:13:36,452 --> 00:13:37,851
Butt guy, what are you doing?
245
00:13:39,292 --> 00:13:40,441
I'm showering.
246
00:13:40,972 --> 00:13:42,371
No, that was clenching.
247
00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:46,801
Well, the way I see it,
the guy's upset here, you know?
248
00:13:47,052 --> 00:13:49,202
His wife's dead,
his brother's missing.
249
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,006
I think his butt would be angry here.
250
00:13:52,892 --> 00:13:55,531
I think his butt would like
to get the shot before lunch.
251
00:13:56,452 --> 00:13:59,205
Once again, rolling.
Water working.
252
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,003
And action!
253
00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:04,611
And cut!
254
00:14:04,852 --> 00:14:05,648
What was that?
255
00:14:06,892 --> 00:14:09,167
I was going for quiet desperation.
256
00:14:10,492 --> 00:14:13,211
But if you have to ask. . . .
257
00:14:19,652 --> 00:14:21,404
God, I love these fingers.
258
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,767
Thank you.
259
00:14:22,972 --> 00:14:25,406
No, actually, I meant my fingers.
260
00:14:26,452 --> 00:14:28,807
Look at them.
Look at how happy they are.
261
00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:33,650
-Oh, my God, I'm late!
-Oh, no, no, no.
262
00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:36,690
-Don't go, don't go.
-Okay, okay.
263
00:14:37,612 --> 00:14:39,489
-I have to.
-Look, she's leaving.
264
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,646
I'm sorry.
He'll be waiting for me.
265
00:14:42,852 --> 00:14:44,410
I thought you talked to Rick.
266
00:14:44,652 --> 00:14:46,449
It's not Rick.
267
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,688
Ethan? He gets
the whole day with you!
268
00:14:49,092 --> 00:14:50,525
No, it's Andrew.
269
00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:57,803
I know there'll be many moments. . .
270
00:14:58,012 --> 00:15:01,209
. . .when I'll regret asking
the following question, but. . . .
271
00:15:02,012 --> 00:15:03,365
And Andrew is. . .?
272
00:15:03,572 --> 00:15:04,448
He's. . .
273
00:15:04,652 --> 00:15:05,607
. . .new.
274
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:10,890
So you're not completely fulfilled
by Rick, Ethan and myself?
275
00:15:11,092 --> 00:15:13,447
No, that's not exactly what I was--
276
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:15,404
Most women would kill. . .
277
00:15:15,652 --> 00:15:17,608
. . .for three guys like us.
278
00:15:19,012 --> 00:15:20,240
So what do you want?
279
00:15:21,132 --> 00:15:21,928
You.
280
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,851
-You have me.
-No, no. Just you.
281
00:15:25,412 --> 00:15:26,208
What do you mean?
282
00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:28,204
Lose the other guys.
283
00:15:30,172 --> 00:15:31,810
Like, all of them?
284
00:15:32,492 --> 00:15:35,325
Come on, we're great together.
Why not?
285
00:15:35,772 --> 00:15:37,603
Why can't we just have
what we have now?
286
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,042
Why can't we just talk,
laugh and make love. . .
287
00:15:40,292 --> 00:15:42,965
. . .without feeling obligated
to one another?
288
00:15:43,372 --> 00:15:46,808
Up until tonight, I thought
that's what you wanted too.
289
00:15:47,972 --> 00:15:49,803
Well, part of me wants that. . .
290
00:15:50,012 --> 00:15:52,128
. . .but it's like I'm two guys.
291
00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:55,205
I mean, one guy's saying,
''Shut up! This is great! ''
292
00:15:56,292 --> 00:15:57,964
But there's this other guy.
293
00:15:58,172 --> 00:16:01,050
It's the guy who wells up
every time the Grinch's heart. . .
294
00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:04,011
. . .grows three sizes
and breaks that measuring device.
295
00:16:04,652 --> 00:16:08,611
He's saying, you know,
''This is too hard. Get out, get out! ''
296
00:16:09,492 --> 00:16:12,165
So which one of the two guys
will you listen to?
297
00:16:13,292 --> 00:16:16,762
I have to listen to both.
They don't let each other finish.
298
00:16:18,492 --> 00:16:19,368
Which one?
299
00:16:23,252 --> 00:16:24,128
The second guy.
300
00:16:25,892 --> 00:16:26,881
I see.
301
00:16:31,572 --> 00:16:33,608
Call me if you change your mind.
302
00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:45,004
Sorry, the first guy runs the lips.
303
00:16:57,332 --> 00:17:00,085
Look at it this way.
You dumped her!
304
00:17:01,492 --> 00:17:03,562
Right? I mean, this woman was. . .
305
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,330
. . .unbelievably sexy. . .
306
00:17:05,572 --> 00:17:08,769
. . .and beautiful,
intelligent, unattainable. . . .
307
00:17:10,892 --> 00:17:12,803
Tell me why you did this again?
308
00:17:15,132 --> 00:17:16,485
Movie star!
309
00:17:16,692 --> 00:17:20,207
Aren't you the guy who plays
the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?
310
00:17:22,492 --> 00:17:23,288
Nope.
311
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:26,001
No? What happened, big guy?
312
00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:27,605
Big guy?
313
00:17:29,692 --> 00:17:31,808
It felt like a ''big guy'' moment.
314
00:17:32,812 --> 00:17:33,722
I got fired!
315
00:17:34,932 --> 00:17:36,763
They said I acted too much with it.
316
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,244
I told everybody about this.
317
00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:43,329
Everybody will be
expecting to see me.
318
00:17:43,572 --> 00:17:46,006
You know what?
No one will be able to tell.
319
00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:47,805
My mom will.
320
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,643
There's something so sweet. . .
321
00:17:51,892 --> 00:17:54,008
. . .and disturbing about that.
322
00:17:55,252 --> 00:17:58,050
I've done nothing
but crappy plays for six years. . .
323
00:17:58,292 --> 00:18:01,170
. . .and I finally get my shot,
and I blow it!
324
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,044
Maybe this wasn't your shot.
325
00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:07,609
I think when it's your shot,
you know it's your shot.
326
00:18:08,252 --> 00:18:10,607
Did it feel like your shot?
327
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:14,440
Hard to tell. I was naked.
328
00:18:14,692 --> 00:18:16,205
I don't think this was your shot.
329
00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:18,607
I don't even think
you just get one shot.
330
00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:22,043
I really believe big things are
gonna happen for you. I do.
331
00:18:22,292 --> 00:18:26,001
You've gotta keep thinking about
the day that some kid will go. . .
332
00:18:26,212 --> 00:18:29,727
. . . ''I got the part! I'm gonna be
Joey Tribbiani's ass! ''
333
00:18:32,892 --> 00:18:35,406
You think? That's so nice.
334
00:18:41,492 --> 00:18:43,960
I'm sorry, Joey.
I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
335
00:18:44,212 --> 00:18:45,201
Good night.
336
00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,688
You're gonna leave
your shoes out here?
337
00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:55,803
Really? Just casually
strewn about. . .
338
00:18:56,012 --> 00:18:58,207
. . .in that reckless,
haphazard manner?
339
00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:03,601
It doesn't matter.
I'll get them tomorrow. Or not!
340
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:06,401
Whenever.
341
00:19:08,972 --> 00:19:11,611
She is a kook.
342
00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:29,005
If it bothers you that much,
just go out and get the shoes.
343
00:19:30,532 --> 00:19:33,000
No, don 't do this!
344
00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:34,605
This is stupid!
345
00:19:34,852 --> 00:19:37,810
I don 't have to prove anything.
I'm gonna go get them.
346
00:19:38,572 --> 00:19:40,244
But then everyone will know.
347
00:19:41,692 --> 00:19:45,810
Unless I get them, and then wake up
really early and put them back.
348
00:19:46,172 --> 00:19:47,685
I need help!
|
1
00:00:06,532 --> 00:00:08,762
О, смотрите, смотрите!
Фотография Джоуи!
2
00:00:08,972 --> 00:00:10,246
Как здорово!
3
00:00:10,452 --> 00:00:13,250
Сразу можно отличить тех, кто
никогда не видел его спектаклей.
4
00:00:13,492 --> 00:00:15,881
Заметьте, никакого страха.
Нет ощущения неизбежного.
5
00:00:16,092 --> 00:00:18,208
Восклицательный знак меня пугает.
6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,602
Это не просто "Фрейд".
Это "Фрейд!"
7
00:00:21,972 --> 00:00:23,610
Т-с-с... сейчас начнется волшебство.
8
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,125
Итак, Ева,
9
00:00:26,892 --> 00:00:29,850
мы проделать отлишни работа
10
00:00:31,092 --> 00:00:32,730
и могу сказать, что
11
00:00:33,252 --> 00:00:36,847
ваш проблем зовершенно ясен.
12
00:00:38,612 --> 00:00:41,684
Вам для счастья нужен пестик,
13
00:00:42,052 --> 00:00:44,805
Бодрый петя-петушок.
14
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:48,209
Будете играть с ним вместе
15
00:00:48,412 --> 00:00:50,972
И журчать, как ручеек.
16
00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:53,288
Эпизод с задом.
17
00:01:46,972 --> 00:01:49,008
Меня как будто изнасиловали.
18
00:01:49,772 --> 00:01:52,764
Кому-нибудь еще хотелось
содрать с себя кожу,
19
00:01:52,972 --> 00:01:54,803
чтобы хоть чем-то себя занять?
20
00:01:55,452 --> 00:01:56,441
Росс, 10 часов.
21
00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,410
Уже? А такое чувство, что еще 2.
22
00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:01,410
Нет, на 10 часов!
23
00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:07,001
Шикарная женщина стоит
по стрелке на 8, 9, 10 часов!
24
00:02:09,092 --> 00:02:10,207
Ого!
25
00:02:10,452 --> 00:02:11,248
Потрясающая!
26
00:02:11,492 --> 00:02:15,087
По сравнению с ней все женщины, о которых
я раньше мечтал - просто жирные лысые мужики.
27
00:02:16,252 --> 00:02:17,890
Подойди к ней.
Она похоже, одна.
28
00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:19,844
И что я ей скажу?
29
00:02:20,092 --> 00:02:21,411
Извините...
30
00:02:23,892 --> 00:02:26,122
Да ладно, она обычный человек.
У тебя получится.
31
00:02:26,332 --> 00:02:29,210
Мне до нее, как до луны.
Росс, прикрой меня.
32
00:02:29,412 --> 00:02:32,210
У него не будет такой женщины и через миллион
лет.
33
00:02:34,212 --> 00:02:37,841
Но у красоток всегда парни, которые
ничего из себя не представляют.
34
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,003
И ты мог бы быть таким же.
35
00:02:40,972 --> 00:02:42,724
- Ты сможешь сделать это.
- Думаете?
36
00:02:42,972 --> 00:02:43,802
Конечно!
37
00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:46,526
Не могу поверить,
что я даже думаю об этом.
38
00:02:46,772 --> 00:02:49,240
- Я знаю, какой у меня язык.
- Давай!
39
00:02:49,492 --> 00:02:50,641
Ладно.
40
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,123
Привет... Так, следующее слово будет...
41
00:03:01,332 --> 00:03:02,321
Чэндлер.
42
00:03:03,452 --> 00:03:06,012
Меня зовут Чэндлер и...
43
00:03:06,532 --> 00:03:07,328
Привет!
44
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:10,845
Да, ты уже это говорил.
45
00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:13,925
Да! Говорил.
Но я не говорил,
46
00:03:14,132 --> 00:03:16,123
что хотел сказать, что хотел спросить,
47
00:03:16,332 --> 00:03:19,404
не хочешь как-нибудь встретиться?
Спасибо. До свиданья.
48
00:03:20,052 --> 00:03:21,201
Чэндлер?
49
00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:24,488
А вот и он!
50
00:03:24,692 --> 00:03:27,081
- Ты играл в спектакле!
- Мы и не знали, что ты умеешь танцевать!
- У тебя была борода!
51
00:03:28,012 --> 00:03:29,411
И что вы думаете?
52
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:33,284
- Ты играл в спектакле!
- Мы и не знали, что ты умеешь танцевать!
- У тебя была борода!
53
00:03:33,492 --> 00:03:36,052
Бросьте, неужели так плохо?
Я же в главной роли.
54
00:03:36,252 --> 00:03:39,369
Лучше чем в той пьесе про троллей.
По крайней мере, у меня хоть голова была видна.
55
00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:42,568
- Конечно.
- Голова была видна.
56
00:03:42,772 --> 00:03:44,251
Она сказала "да"! Она сказала "да"!
57
00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:47,210
Ужасная пьеса, чувак!
58
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:53,845
Ее зовут Аврора. Она итальянка и
произносит мое имя так: "Чэндлёр-р-р".
59
00:03:55,852 --> 00:03:58,844
Мне так больше нравится.
О, слушай, билетерша просила тебе передать.
60
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:02,010
- Что это?
- Агентство талантов Эстель Леонард.
61
00:04:02,212 --> 00:04:04,931
Агентство оставило мне свою визитку.
Может, они хотят подписать со мной контракт!
62
00:04:05,132 --> 00:04:06,247
После этой пьесы?
63
00:04:08,772 --> 00:04:10,683
После этой пьесы!
64
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,407
Привет всем!
65
00:04:21,692 --> 00:04:24,968
Нет, потому что это линия страсти,
а это... просто линия.
66
00:04:25,292 --> 00:04:28,841
Я нахожусь здесь уже 7 секунд, а никто даже
не спросил меня, как прошло свидание.
67
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,366
Как прошло свидание, Чэндлёр?
68
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:33,766
Просто невероятно!
69
00:04:33,972 --> 00:04:37,567
В первый раз встречаю такую девушку.
У нее потрясающая жизнь!
70
00:04:37,772 --> 00:04:39,046
Она служила в израильской армии.
71
00:04:39,292 --> 00:04:41,442
К счастью, пули не
попали в двигатель,
72
00:04:41,692 --> 00:04:43,967
поэтому нам удалось
добраться до границы.
73
00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:46,003
Но с большим трудом, и я...
74
00:04:47,052 --> 00:04:50,806
Я говорю о себе
весь вечер. Извини.
75
00:04:51,012 --> 00:04:53,003
Расскажи мне
что-нибудь о себе.
76
00:04:53,852 --> 00:04:55,001
Ну, однажды...
77
00:04:55,252 --> 00:04:57,846
однажды я зашел в метро, так?
78
00:04:58,092 --> 00:04:59,650
Это было вечером...
79
00:04:59,892 --> 00:05:02,406
и проехал аж до
самого Бруклина,
80
00:05:03,292 --> 00:05:05,010
вот просто взял и поехал.
81
00:05:05,812 --> 00:05:08,280
Мы проговорили до 2 часов.
Это был идеальный вечер.
82
00:05:09,492 --> 00:05:10,368
Более или менее.
83
00:05:10,572 --> 00:05:12,847
И вдруг мы поняли,
что очутились в Йемене.
84
00:05:13,252 --> 00:05:14,765
Извини, "мы" - это...?
85
00:05:15,612 --> 00:05:16,806
"Мы" - это я и Рик.
86
00:05:17,052 --> 00:05:17,928
А кто такой Рик?
87
00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:19,366
А кто такой Рик?
88
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:21,522
Мой муж.
89
00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:26,167
- О, так ты в разводе?
- Нет.
90
00:05:27,092 --> 00:05:30,209
- Извини. То есть, ты вдова?
Надеюсь?
91
00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:32,765
Нет, я все еще замужем.
92
00:05:34,492 --> 00:05:38,610
А что скажет твой муж, когда
узнает, что ты сидишь тут со мной
93
00:05:39,092 --> 00:05:41,162
и гладишь мою ногу своей,
причем так высоко,
94
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:43,806
что можешь пересчитать
мелочь у меня в кармане?
95
00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:46,646
Не беспокойся.
96
00:05:46,852 --> 00:05:49,730
Думаю, он не будет против тебя.
Он же не против Итана.
97
00:05:51,212 --> 00:05:53,521
Итана? Есть еще и Итан?
98
00:05:54,692 --> 00:05:56,489
Итан - мой...
99
00:05:57,092 --> 00:05:57,888
друг.
100
00:05:58,212 --> 00:05:59,247
Что?!
101
00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:04,045
А что же у нас
будут за отношения,
102
00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:06,720
если у тебя уже
есть и муж, и друг?
103
00:06:07,612 --> 00:06:10,001
Я думаю, в основном
это будет секс.
104
00:06:13,492 --> 00:06:15,050
Жаль, что у вас ничего не получилось.
105
00:06:15,412 --> 00:06:18,404
Почему не получилось?
Мы снова встречаемся в четверг.
106
00:06:18,772 --> 00:06:20,205
Ты что, не слышал, что она говорила?
107
00:06:22,452 --> 00:06:24,204
Это же извращение!
108
00:06:24,412 --> 00:06:27,006
Как ты можешь
встречаться с такой женщиной?
109
00:06:27,252 --> 00:06:30,528
Ну, сначала меня это тоже волновало,
но потом я подумал: а что я теряю?
110
00:06:30,732 --> 00:06:34,008
Мне будет весело, будут
разговоры, секс...
111
00:06:34,212 --> 00:06:35,804
и никакой ответственности!
112
00:06:37,372 --> 00:06:39,090
Да это мечта любого парня!
113
00:06:39,292 --> 00:06:41,726
Неправда. Росс, скажи, разве
ты мечтаешь об этом?
114
00:06:41,972 --> 00:06:43,610
Конечно, нет.
115
00:06:45,812 --> 00:06:47,564
А вообще-то да. Мечтаю.
116
00:06:48,292 --> 00:06:51,807
Что? То есть, вы, парни, не против встречаться
с девушкой, у которой уже кто-то есть?
117
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:53,088
Я бы не смог.
118
00:06:53,292 --> 00:06:54,281
Молодец, Джоуи!
119
00:06:54,572 --> 00:06:56,642
Когда я встречаюсь с девушкой,
мне нужно знать,
120
00:06:56,852 --> 00:06:59,605
что у меня больше подруг,
чем у нее парней.
121
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:01,122
Видите ли,
122
00:07:01,332 --> 00:07:04,210
моногамия - это очень непростое понятие.
123
00:07:04,412 --> 00:07:06,801
С точки зрения антропологии...
124
00:07:08,492 --> 00:07:10,403
Ну и ладно. Так дураками и помрете.
125
00:07:10,652 --> 00:07:12,165
Мы шутим. Рассказывай.
126
00:07:12,372 --> 00:07:13,851
- Мы хотим знать.
- Давай!
127
00:07:14,092 --> 00:07:17,767
Хорошо. Существует теория,
выдвинутая Ричардом Лики...
128
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:31,484
Мы теперь так друг друга приветствуем? Мне нравится.
129
00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:34,684
Смотрите! Я убралась!
130
00:07:34,892 --> 00:07:37,042
И окна, и пол.
131
00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:40,449
Я использовала все примочки для пылесоса, кроме
той кругленькой.
132
00:07:40,652 --> 00:07:42,005
Не знаю зачем она.
133
00:07:42,252 --> 00:07:44,322
Никто не знает и нам запрещено об этом спрашивать.
134
00:07:45,492 --> 00:07:46,641
И как вам?
135
00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:49,486
- Очень чисто.
- В самом деле, все выглядит отлично.
136
00:07:53,892 --> 00:07:56,281
Я смотрю, ты подвинула зеленый пуфик.
137
00:08:00,052 --> 00:08:01,485
Как такое случилось?
138
00:08:02,892 --> 00:08:05,247
Не знаю даже.
Подумала, что там он лучше смотрится.
139
00:08:05,492 --> 00:08:08,643
А заодно появилось еще одно место у журнального
столика.
140
00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:11,083
Да, это... интересно.
141
00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:14,608
Но знаете что? Ради смеха...
142
00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:18,402
...давайте посмотрим, как он будет смотреться
на старом месте.
143
00:08:19,092 --> 00:08:20,810
Просто, чтобы сравнить.
144
00:08:21,012 --> 00:08:22,240
Посмотрим...
145
00:08:22,652 --> 00:08:24,449
Что ж, он там тоже неплохо смотрится.
146
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,928
Давайте его пока там и оставим.
147
00:08:27,892 --> 00:08:30,611
Не верится, что ты осмелилась
подвинуть зеленый пуфик.
148
00:08:31,692 --> 00:08:33,808
Слава Богу, что ты журналы не разложила.
149
00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:35,809
Она бы тебе все глаза выцарапала.
150
00:08:36,052 --> 00:08:37,804
Ну ребята, я не на столько ужасна!
151
00:08:38,012 --> 00:08:39,206
Именно на столько.
152
00:08:40,572 --> 00:08:42,005
Помнишь, когда я с тобой жила?
153
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:44,004
Ты была немного того...
154
00:08:47,852 --> 00:08:49,080
Это не честно!
155
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:52,967
В детстве, у тебя одной была кукла-неряшка,
которая не была неряшливой.
156
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:58,206
Просто я ответственная. Я организованная.
157
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,164
Нет! Иногда я могу быть не такой.
158
00:09:02,452 --> 00:09:04,443
Ладно, сумасбродная девчонка!
159
00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:07,247
Представь себе следующее.
160
00:09:07,452 --> 00:09:11,001
Приходит счет за телефон, но ты его сразу не оплачиваешь.
161
00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:12,048
Почему бы нет?
162
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,731
Потому что ты не такая.
163
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:18,411
Вместо этого ты ждешь, пока тебе не пришлют напоминание.
164
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,441
Думаю, могу и так.
165
00:09:20,652 --> 00:09:24,440
Ладно, а потом ты разрешаешь мне пойти за продуктами...
166
00:09:24,652 --> 00:09:26,370
...а я покупаю стиральный порошок.
167
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:29,889
Но это не тот, что с удобным горлышком.
168
00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:31,650
Зачем кому-то это делать?
169
00:09:33,852 --> 00:09:35,808
- кто-то мог бы удивиться, но не я.
170
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:38,652
Стакан на столе.
Подставки нет.
171
00:09:38,892 --> 00:09:40,610
Напиток холодный. День жаркий.
172
00:09:41,292 --> 00:09:45,410
Капельки конденсата все ближе и ближе к дереву...
173
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:46,641
Хватит!
174
00:09:50,212 --> 00:09:51,440
О, Боже!
175
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,723
Это правда. Кто я?
176
00:09:54,212 --> 00:09:56,168
Моника, ты - мама.
177
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,201
О, Боже!
178
00:10:07,772 --> 00:10:09,410
Хорошо, я там буду.
179
00:10:11,692 --> 00:10:13,205
Это был мой агент.
180
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:19,643
Мой агент только что пробил мне роль в новом фильме
Аль Пачино!
181
00:10:21,012 --> 00:10:22,331
Отлично!
182
00:10:22,852 --> 00:10:23,648
Кого будешь играть?
183
00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:25,808
Нет, вы в это верите?
Аль Пачино!
184
00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:27,804
Из-за него я и стал актером.
185
00:10:28,012 --> 00:10:30,242
"Это я не в порядке? Это вы не в порядке!
186
00:10:30,492 --> 00:10:33,211
Весь этот суд не в порядке!"
187
00:10:34,212 --> 00:10:35,804
Серьезно, кого ты играешь?
188
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,567
"И в тот момент, когда я думал,
что выкарабкался, они меня снова втянули!"
189
00:10:39,892 --> 00:10:42,804
Ну ладно. Серьезно, Джоуи, что за роль?
190
00:10:44,692 --> 00:10:46,205
Ты э... Ты... Что?
191
00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:50,967
Я дублер его задницы, ясно?
192
00:10:55,212 --> 00:10:57,646
Я играю задницу Аль Пачино.
193
00:10:59,812 --> 00:11:02,929
Ясно? Он заходит в душ, а дальше...
194
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:04,605
...Я его задница.
195
00:11:05,452 --> 00:11:06,601
О, Господи!
196
00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:08,007
Да ладно, ребята.
197
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:11,403
Это настоящее кино, еще и с участием Аль Пчино.
Серьезное дело!
198
00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:13,005
Нет, это, конечно, замечательно.
199
00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,328
После стольких лет напряженного труда...
200
00:11:15,532 --> 00:11:18,604
...ты, наконец-то, нашел щелку, чтобы пробиться
в шоу-бизнес.
201
00:11:21,652 --> 00:11:23,927
Да и пожалуйста.
Шутите на здоровье. Мне все равно.
202
00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:25,525
Для меня это прорыв.
203
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,330
Ты прав. Так и есть.
204
00:11:28,492 --> 00:11:31,211
Так ты пригласишь нас всех на церемонию приоткрытия?
205
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,046
- Дашь мне немного увлажнителя?
- Зачем?
206
00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:48,163
А ты как думаешь?
Сегодня же очень важный день!
207
00:11:48,692 --> 00:11:51,411
Ладно, иди в ванну.
Используй все что тебе надо.
208
00:11:51,612 --> 00:11:54,206
Только, никогда мне не рассказывай
чем ты там занимался.
209
00:11:54,692 --> 00:11:55,647
Спасибо.
210
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,483
- Мама Джоуи звонит.
- Он в ванной.
211
00:12:00,692 --> 00:12:04,002
- Лучше не ходи туда.
- Да ладно, мы же соседи.
212
00:12:05,652 --> 00:12:08,041
Мои глаза!
213
00:12:10,492 --> 00:12:11,925
Я предупреждала.
214
00:12:12,172 --> 00:12:13,890
Кто так шумит?
215
00:12:14,092 --> 00:12:16,003
Ну, естественно, Моника.
216
00:12:16,532 --> 00:12:19,205
Можно я возьму кое-что?
Хочу сделать Авроре завтрак.
217
00:12:19,452 --> 00:12:21,124
Ого, тебе целая ночь досталась?
218
00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:24,523
Ну, у меня осталось 20 минут до Итана, так что...
219
00:12:24,772 --> 00:12:26,603
Мне кажется я слышу обиду в голосе.
220
00:12:26,852 --> 00:12:29,810
Нет, нет, нет. Это не обида.
Поверь мне...
221
00:12:30,052 --> 00:12:32,043
...оно того стоит, ясно?
222
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,368
В любых отношениях
есть такие ключевые моменты...
223
00:12:34,572 --> 00:12:36,927
...которые ты запоминаешь
на всю оставшуюся жизнь.
224
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:40,244
Так вот, с Авророй
я это чувствую каждую секунду.
225
00:12:40,492 --> 00:12:42,881
И я только что потратил целых 35 из них
на разговор с тобой.
226
00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:46,209
Моника, помоги, пожалуйста, открыть дверь.
227
00:12:47,292 --> 00:12:49,760
Знаешь, та старая Моника напомнила бы тебе...
228
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:53,601
...что тефлоновые сковородки чистят
именно пластиковой щеткой.
229
00:12:54,972 --> 00:12:56,803
Но я этого делать не стану.
230
00:13:02,452 --> 00:13:04,602
Черт подери! Уже наймите девчонку.
231
00:13:05,692 --> 00:13:06,841
Хорошо, все готовы?
232
00:13:07,572 --> 00:13:11,087
Извините, я просто хотел поблагодарить вас за
этот великолепный шанс...
233
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,281
Халат сбрось.
234
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:15,328
Кто? Я?
235
00:13:15,572 --> 00:13:16,766
Было бы неплохо.
236
00:13:17,252 --> 00:13:20,005
Точно. Ладно.
Сбрасываю халат!
237
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,329
Ну вот, халат сброшен.
238
00:13:24,092 --> 00:13:26,765
Внимание, все, я хочу уложиться в один дубль.
239
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,246
Мотор.
240
00:13:28,452 --> 00:13:29,805
Вода пошла.
241
00:13:30,572 --> 00:13:32,290
И... начали!
242
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:35,645
И... стоп!
243
00:13:36,452 --> 00:13:37,851
Попа-парень, какого черта ты делаешь?
244
00:13:39,292 --> 00:13:40,441
В душе моюсь.
245
00:13:40,972 --> 00:13:42,371
Нет, это было сжимание.
246
00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:46,801
Понимаете, герой, как мне кажется,
расстроен в этой сцене.
247
00:13:47,052 --> 00:13:49,202
Жена мертва, брат пропал.
248
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,006
Думаю, его попа была бы злой.
249
00:13:52,892 --> 00:13:55,531
А я думаю, что его задница хотела бы отсняться
до обеда.
250
00:13:56,452 --> 00:13:59,205
Еще раз мотор!
Пошла вода.
251
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,003
Начали!
252
00:14:03,292 --> 00:14:04,611
Стоп!
253
00:14:04,852 --> 00:14:05,648
Что это было?
254
00:14:06,892 --> 00:14:09,167
Я хотел сыграть тихое отчаяние.
255
00:14:10,492 --> 00:14:13,211
Но если вы просите...
256
00:14:19,652 --> 00:14:21,404
Боже, как я люблю эти пальцы!
257
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,767
Спасибо.
258
00:14:22,972 --> 00:14:25,406
Нет, вообще-то, я имел ввиду свои пальцы.
259
00:14:26,452 --> 00:14:28,807
Посмотри на них.
Видишь, какие они счастливые.
260
00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:33,650
- О господи, я опаздываю!
- О нет! Нет-нет-нет!
261
00:14:33,892 --> 00:14:36,690
- Не уходи, не уходи.
- Ладно.
262
00:14:37,612 --> 00:14:39,489
- Ой нет. Мне надо идти.
- Она уходит.
263
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,646
Извини. Он будет ждать.
264
00:14:42,852 --> 00:14:44,410
Я думал, ты поговорила с Риком.
265
00:14:44,652 --> 00:14:46,449
Это не Рик.
266
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,688
Итан? У него будет
с тобой целый день!
267
00:14:49,092 --> 00:14:50,525
Нет, это... это Эндрю.
268
00:14:55,892 --> 00:14:57,803
Я знаю, что еще не раз пожалею,
269
00:14:58,012 --> 00:15:01,209
что задал этот вопрос, но...
270
00:15:02,012 --> 00:15:03,365
А кто у нас Эндрю?
271
00:15:03,572 --> 00:15:04,448
Он...
272
00:15:04,652 --> 00:15:05,607
новенький.
273
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:10,890
То есть, Рик, Итан и я удовлетворяем
тебя не полностью?
274
00:15:11,092 --> 00:15:13,447
Нет, не совсем так...
275
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:15,404
Большинство женщин готовы на убийство
276
00:15:15,652 --> 00:15:17,608
ради таких парней, как мы трое.
277
00:15:19,012 --> 00:15:20,240
Чего ты хочешь?
278
00:15:21,132 --> 00:15:21,928
Тебя.
279
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,851
- У тебя есть я.
- Нет, нет. Тебя одну.
280
00:15:25,412 --> 00:15:26,208
Что ты хочешь сказать?
281
00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:28,204
Брось остальных парней.
282
00:15:30,172 --> 00:15:31,810
Что - всех-всех?
283
00:15:32,492 --> 00:15:35,325
Слушай, но нам же здорово вместе.
Почему бы и нет?
284
00:15:35,772 --> 00:15:37,603
Почему мы не можем
оставить все как есть?
285
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,042
Почему мы не можем просто болтать,
смеяться, заниматься любовью,
286
00:15:40,292 --> 00:15:42,965
без всяких обязательств
по отношению друг к другу?
287
00:15:43,372 --> 00:15:46,808
До сегодняшнего вечера я думала,
что тебя это тоже устраивает.
288
00:15:47,972 --> 00:15:49,803
Ну, часть меня хочет этого,
289
00:15:50,012 --> 00:15:52,128
но во мне как будто два человека.
290
00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:55,205
Один парень орет:
"Заткнись! Все просто классно!"
291
00:15:56,292 --> 00:15:57,964
Но есть и другой,
292
00:15:58,172 --> 00:16:01,050
который начинает хлюпать носом
всякий раз, когда у олененка Бэмби
293
00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:04,011
охотник убивает маму.
294
00:16:04,652 --> 00:16:08,611
И этот, второй, говорит:
"Так нельзя. Порви с ней".
295
00:16:09,492 --> 00:16:12,165
Так кого из них
ты послушаешься?
296
00:16:13,292 --> 00:16:16,762
Я должен дослушать обоих.
Они все время перебивают друг друга.
297
00:16:18,492 --> 00:16:19,368
Так кого?
298
00:16:23,252 --> 00:16:24,128
Второй.
299
00:16:25,892 --> 00:16:26,881
Понятно.
300
00:16:31,572 --> 00:16:33,608
Позвони, если передумаешь.
301
00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:45,004
Извини, первый парень отвечает за губы.
302
00:16:57,332 --> 00:17:00,085
Посмотри на это под таким углом:
это ты ее бросил!
303
00:17:01,492 --> 00:17:03,562
Так? Эта женщина
304
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,330
невероятно сексуальна,
305
00:17:05,572 --> 00:17:08,769
красива, умна, недосягаема...
306
00:17:10,892 --> 00:17:12,803
Напомни еще раз, почему ты ее бросил?
307
00:17:15,132 --> 00:17:16,485
Кинозвезад!
308
00:17:16,692 --> 00:17:20,207
Простите, вы случайно не тот парень, который
играет задницу в новом фильме Аль Пачино?
309
00:17:22,492 --> 00:17:23,288
Не-а.
310
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:26,001
Нет? Что случилось, босс?
311
00:17:26,252 --> 00:17:27,605
"Босс"?
312
00:17:29,692 --> 00:17:31,808
Мне показалось, момент подходящий.
313
00:17:32,812 --> 00:17:33,722
Меня уволили!
314
00:17:34,932 --> 00:17:36,763
Они сказали, что я переигрывал задом.
315
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,244
А я уже всем рассказал!
316
00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:43,329
Теперь все пойдут в кино
посмотреть на меня и...
317
00:17:43,572 --> 00:17:46,006
Знаешь, что?
Никто ведь и не заметит разницы.
318
00:17:46,292 --> 00:17:47,805
А моя мама?
319
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,643
Есть в этом что-то
такое трогательное...
320
00:17:51,892 --> 00:17:54,008
и тревожное.
321
00:17:55,252 --> 00:17:58,050
Ничего, кроме дрянных пьес целых шесть лет,
322
00:17:58,292 --> 00:18:01,170
и вот наконец я получил свой шанс...
и профукал его!
323
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,044
Может, это не был твой шанс.
324
00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:07,609
Я думаю, когда это твой шанс,
ты точно знаешь, что это твой шанс.
325
00:18:08,252 --> 00:18:10,607
У тебя было чувство,
что это был твой шанс?
326
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:14,440
Трудно сказать.
Я был голый.
327
00:18:14,692 --> 00:18:16,205
Я не думаю, что это был твой шанс.
328
00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:18,607
Я даже не думаю,
что у тебя всего один шанс.
329
00:18:18,812 --> 00:18:22,043
Честно, я верю, что у тебя большое
будущее, правда-правда.
330
00:18:22,292 --> 00:18:26,001
Думай о том дне, когда какой-нибудь
парень будет радоваться:
331
00:18:26,212 --> 00:18:29,727
"Ура! Я получил роль! Я буду
зад-дублером Джоуи Триббиани!"
332
00:18:32,892 --> 00:18:35,406
Ты думаешь? Как это мило.
333
00:18:41,492 --> 00:18:43,960
Извини, Джоуи.
Пойду спать, ребята.
334
00:18:44,212 --> 00:18:45,201
Спокойной ночи.
335
00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,688
Ты оставишь здесь
свои туфли?
336
00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:55,803
Правда? В таком вот
небрежном виде,
337
00:18:56,012 --> 00:18:58,207
разбросанные как попало?
338
00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:03,601
Да какая разница.
Я уберу их завтра. А, может, и нет!
339
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:06,401
Подумаешь.
340
00:19:08,972 --> 00:19:11,611
Она и впрямь чудачка.
341
00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:29,005
Если тебя это так сильно волнует,
встань и убери туфли.
342
00:19:30,532 --> 00:19:33,000
Нет! Не делай этого!
343
00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:34,605
Это глупо!
344
00:19:34,852 --> 00:19:37,810
Я ничего не должна доказывать.
Сейчас встану и уберу.
345
00:19:38,572 --> 00:19:40,244
Но тогда все узнают.
346
00:19:41,692 --> 00:19:45,810
Но я могу убрать их сейчас, потом встать рано
утром и поставить туда, где они были.
347
00:19:46,172 --> 00:19:47,685
Мне нужна помощь!
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