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The One That Could Have Been
Part 2
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English Subtitles by
Gelula/SDI
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So, honey. . .
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. . .this threesome thing?
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How are we even gonna find--?
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Actually, I'm making a list of women
I know who might be into this.
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Boy.
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Someone's been
doin' their homework.
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I know Gail Rosten
is in there twice. . .
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. . .but she is so. . . .
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Oh, I know.
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You know, just talkin' about it
is gettin' me kind of. . . .
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I know. Me too.
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I think Ben's asleep.
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You know, I think it'll be
better if we just save it.
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Right. Save it.
I can do that.
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How's it going?
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I've got to get out of this bed.
I'm going crazy here! Crazy!
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Here you go, sweetie.
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What the hell is this, herbal tea?
I hate herbal tea.
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Well, I put some honey in it.
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-She doesn't know she was fired?
-No, the doctors say it may kill her.
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What are you two girls
whispering about over there?
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But I think we should tell her.
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I mean, it's just so realistic.
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I know.
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His name's Pat.
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Pat the dog.
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I get it!
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Ready for a refill?
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I probably shouldn't.
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So I will!
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-It's like it's raining.
-Pretty cool, huh?
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But if you think a fish wouldn't get
sucked into the mechanism. . .
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. . .well, you'd be wrong.
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Can I use your bathroom?
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It's right through there.
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You know, I gotta tell you.
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If someone told me a week ago. . .
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. . .that I would be peeing
in Joey Tribbiani's apartment. . . .
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Life's pretty great, isn't it?
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I hope you're hungry.
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We're starting with oysters.
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You know what they say about oysters,
don't you?
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They have parasites?
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Some people say that oysters
are an aphrodisiac.
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-What people?
-People.
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People say it.
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Come here.
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So, oysters, huh?
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Then we'll have a little
Middle Eastern couscous.
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Something we can eat. . .
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. . .with our hands.
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When we were studying
communicable diseases--
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It's sensual.
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Didn't know. Okay.
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Sorry, it's the hospital.
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The food looks great.
Save me some?
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I can't promise anything.
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We're really gonna do this?
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Looks like it.
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If this is too weird for you,
you can still back out--
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I got it!
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Thank you so much for coming.
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I wouldn't have missed it
for the world.
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I'm Ross, by the way.
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Hello, Ross.
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-I love what you've done with the space.
-Thank you so much.
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How hot is this?!
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I'm sorry you're here with me instead
of Roger.
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Yeah, me too.
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Well, I could make it seem like he's
here.
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"Here's some little-known facts
about couscous:
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They didn't add the second 'cous'
until 1 979. "
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Stop it! That's not funny!
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I'm sorry, okay?
It's just. . .
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. . .tonight was supposed to be a big deal.
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-What was tonight?
-You don't want to know.
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What was tonight?
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Tonight was going to be
my first time.
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With Roger?
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Not just with Roger?
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Oh, my God.
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All right, relax,
Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!
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Four different women!
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I've had sex way more times.
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How many?
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Nine.
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I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.
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Good for you. You really think
Roger's the perfect guy?
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No, but he's not a horrible guy.
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That's what I tell girls about me.
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Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin!
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No, you are sweet and wonderful. . .
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. . .and it'll happen for you.
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Oh, really? When?
Do you want to do it with me?
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I was kidding.
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So was l.
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You're such an amazing actor.
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How do you know where
Dr. Drake Ramoray leaves off. . .
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. . .and Joey Tribbiani begins?
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Well, with Dr. Drake. . .
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. . .they always tell me what to say.
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And with Joey, I pretty much have to
make it up on my own.
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Tell me something.
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-I just fell right off the couch there.
-Yeah, you did.
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Here you go.
Let me ask you a question.
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When was the last time. . .
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. . .someone told you
just how beautiful you are?
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Wow.
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I can't feel my hands.
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Come on. Come here.
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We can't do this.
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Oyster?
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If we did do this,
there'd be a lot of pressure on me.
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Because you've waited a long time,
and I wouldn't want to disappoint you.
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But I have nothing to compare it to.
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Even if you were horrible,
how would I know?
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I do like that.
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It's harder for me.
I have four women to compete with.
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Well, if it helps,
there were only three.
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So it'd just be for tonight?
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Absolutely. It would just be one
friend helping out another friend.
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Stop it. We're not doing this.
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-Let's do it!
-No!
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Okay!
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Do you have any moves?
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I have some moves.
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I have no moves.
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Whatcha doing there?
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-I'm sorry, this is just too weird.
-Yeah, forget it.
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What if I turn out the lights?
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That's the couch.
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Oh, my God!
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I know!
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I'll tell you something.
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We are gonna do that again!
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Morning.
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Oh, right.
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Oh, God.
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Oh, I can't believe Joey Tribbiani
heard me throw up.
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He actually saw you a little bit too.
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Oh, God, we didn't. . .?
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Not after seeing that.
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God, I'm just a horrible person.
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Well, why?
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Because I'm married.
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That's right, I'm a married woman.
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I came to a TV star's apartment
to have an affair.
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That's ridiculous.
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I'm not a "star. "
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I'm just a regular famous actor.
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And I'm a horrible, horrible person.
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Rachel, will you stop saying that?
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Hey, look.
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Remember on the show
when Capri was dying?
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-And she gave me--
-The ring from the cave.
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Oh, my God!
They let you keep that stuff?
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Sure. As long as they don't find out,
you can keep whatever you want.
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And I want you to have it.
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No, I couldn't.
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Every time you look at it. . .
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. . .I want you to remember
that you are a good person.
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Now, you had the chance to cheat. . .
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. . .and with me.
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But you didn't.
And that's what this ring stands for.
167
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,600
But I thought that ring stood for
Capri's undying love for her brother.
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Look, you want the ring or not?
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Hey, look at you! You're up!
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I thought I'd try to take a walk.
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Will you pour me some water?
I'll be back soon.
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You're not gonna call work, are you?
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No. I've learned my lesson.
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Let's go! Come on!
Move it!
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Phoebe, come on!
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Shoes, briefcase. Thanks, Lou.
Good luck with the gallbladder.
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Hey, Joe. . .
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. . .did you ever have a threesome?
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Look, Ross. Carol's great, and I'm sure
you're a very attractive man, but. . . .
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No. The reason I'm asking is that. . .
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. . .I sort of had one last night.
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You?
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All right. So? Was it amazing?
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It was. . .
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. . .okay.
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Just okay? Did you do it right?
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Look, it's just, did you ever
go to a party and think:
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"Would anyone really miss me
if I weren't here?"
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But still, Ross.
190
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Your worst day with two women,
pretty much better than any other day.
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It's just. . .
192
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. . .my part seemed to be over
pretty quickly. . .
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. . .and then there was
a lot of waiting around.
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But you got to be with both of them.
195
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,100
Not really.
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Just Carol.
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-Not the other one?
-No, she kept kicking me away.
198
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You don't want that.
199
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:28,100
At least you got to
see a lot of stuff.
200
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:31,100
Oh, I saw a lot of stuff.
201
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-You get a little bored?
-A little.
202
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,300
Made a snack.
203
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:43,000
-What'd you have?
-Just a sandwich.
204
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,700
Turkey. A little mustard.
205
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-Sounds good.
-It really was.
206
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,900
Let me tell you about this chick
I scored with last night.
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Wait a minute, that was you.
208
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,100
So you want to do something tonight?
209
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:06,500
I can't.
Dr. Roger's coming over.
210
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,500
Oh, right.
211
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,000
Because you're still seeing him,
and he's a good guy.
212
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,300
I remember a time. . . .
213
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,600
Are you okay?
214
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,000
Yeah, totally.
215
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:21,600
Totally. Are you?
216
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,600
Great. It's so amazing.
217
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,900
Last time Dr. Roger came over,
I was so nervous.
218
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,900
But after being with you,
I'm like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
219
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,900
I bet he can.
220
00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:36,500
"I don't have an appointment,
but I sure could use a physical. "
221
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:44,200
-You sure you're okay?
-Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
222
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,100
My God! Barry!
223
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,900
You said you'd be away all weekend!
224
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,600
That's right! I'm sorry!
I am early!
225
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,700
Finish, please!
226
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,100
Surprise! Look who's back!
227
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,000
Call security.
228
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,900
Pheebs, didn't you get fired?
229
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,600
I don't think so.
230
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,100
-What are you doing here?
-All better. Back to work.
231
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,300
This clown from research
told me I was fired.
232
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,400
He should do his research, huh?
233
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,400
Well, you were fired.
234
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,900
I told that guy
who answered your phone.
235
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,600
I didn't get that message.
So this doesn't count.
236
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,400
Anyway, I'll be in my office.
237
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,100
Phoebe, you don't have an office.
238
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,500
I'll work right here.
239
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,000
This is good. Next to this plant.
240
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,800
You're in my office.
241
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,200
I've made a lot of cash for this
company. I am talking big bucks!
242
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,800
Pesos! Yen! Rubles!
You make one little mistake--
243
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,800
You lost 1 3 million dollars.
244
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,900
So now this is all about money?
245
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,000
You know, it's bad enough that. . . .
246
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,500
You have got to be kidding.
247
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:20,300
-Are you all right?
-I'm having another heart attack.
248
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,900
I'm having another heart attack!
249
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:24,800
Call 91 1 !
250
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,500
Dumb-ass!
251
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,000
Pheebs, how's it going?
252
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,500
They fired me, and I'm having
a heart attack.
253
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,200
Well, welcome back.
254
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,100
Is Joey Tribbiani here?
255
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:47,300
If you see him, please tell him
I'm looking for him. . .
256
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,600
. . .and that this time
I am not gonna throw up!
257
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,400
Are you okay?
258
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,000
Me? I'm great!
259
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,800
I'm fine! I'm so good!
260
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,500
But you know who's not great?
261
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:01,800
Men!
262
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,400
You're a man, right, Ross?
263
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,800
Sit down.
264
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,200
Let me ask you something.
265
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:12,500
Do wedding vows mean squat
to you people?
266
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,900
Why is it that the second
we go out of town. . .
267
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,500
. . .bam, there you are in bed
with the neighbor's dog-walker?
268
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,600
We're sorry.
269
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:31,300
No, seriously. Seriously. What has
happened to the sanctity of marriage?
270
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:36,200
-Didn't you spend last night at Joey's?
-What are you, a detective?
271
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,200
I don't know what's going on
with you and your husband. . .
272
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,300
. . .and what is hopefully
an adult dog-walker.
273
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:49,300
Look, can I just say,
not all men are like that.
274
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,800
There are men who'll do anything
to make their marriage work.
275
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,500
Men who will stand by and watch. . .
276
00:17:55,700 --> 00:18:00,000
. . .as their wives engage in what can
only be described as a "twosome" . .
.
277
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,500
. . .with some woman she barely knows
from the gym!
278
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,600
Who are these men?
279
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,100
Just men. A guy I know.
280
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:13,000
Well, you might want to tell him
it sounds like his wife. . .
281
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,700
. . .is gay.
282
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,600
She is not. . . .
283
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,300
She's gay.
284
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,500
Oh, my God.
285
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,400
She is so gay!
286
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000
I can't believe this.
287
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,100
Good day for married people, huh?
288
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,600
I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.
289
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:47,200
I'm sorry your wife is gay.
290
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,200
I guess women aren't that great either.
291
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,100
Try telling my wife that.
292
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,800
Okay to come in?
293
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,200
Come in, eat, whatever you want.
294
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,300
Dr. Roger got beeped again.
295
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,900
Yeah, I know. Guess who beeped him?
296
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,400
I'm the ruptured spleen.
297
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,800
Why would you do that?
298
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:17,000
Because you shouldn't be with him.
299
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:21,900
You should be with me.
300
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,200
Really?
301
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,700
When you were talking about Roger,
that was killing me.
302
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,400
Things like last night
don't just happen.
303
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,400
At least not to me. I mean,
with the other two women. . .
304
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:41,300
. . .in the morning, I couldn't wait
to go be with my friends.
305
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,100
But with you. . .
306
00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:48,400
. . .I was, you know,
already with a friend.
307
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,800
You probably don't want
to go out with me.
308
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,600
I make too many jokes, I've never
been in a serious relationship. . .
309
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,100
. . .and I'm not technically a "doctor. "
310
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,200
There was just one woman,
wasn't there?
311
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,400
No, there were two.
312
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:12,800
Including me?
313
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:23,400
It only takes two heart attacks
To finally make you see
314
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,600
One of them won 't do it
But the second will set you free
315
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:35,400
Tell all your hate and anger
It's time to say goodbye
316
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,800
And that is just what I will do
317
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,900
Soon as those bastards I worked for
Die!
|
357
00:23:31,388 --> 00:23:32,980
Итак, милая,
358
00:23:34,024 --> 00:23:36,322
эта штука втроём?
359
00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:39,523
С чего мы должны начать поиски...?
360
00:23:39,763 --> 00:23:43,494
Вообще-то я составляю список знакомых женщин,
которые бы на это пошли.
361
00:23:52,743 --> 00:23:53,732
Бог ты мой.
362
00:23:56,046 --> 00:23:58,344
Кто-то серьёзно
подошёл к делу.
363
00:23:59,783 --> 00:24:01,978
Я знаю, что Гейл Ростен написана
дважды...
364
00:24:02,186 --> 00:24:03,414
но она такая...
365
00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:05,520
Да, я знаю.
366
00:24:07,458 --> 00:24:11,394
Знаешь, даже разговоры об этом
меня возбуждают...
367
00:24:11,628 --> 00:24:13,391
Меня тоже.
368
00:24:13,897 --> 00:24:15,387
Думаю, Бен уже спит.
369
00:24:18,469 --> 00:24:23,202
Мне кажется, что лучше нам
сохранить это.
370
00:24:26,543 --> 00:24:28,704
Верно. Сохраним это.
Я смогу.
371
00:24:37,788 --> 00:24:39,517
Почему ты всегда ходишь в
этой дурацкой кепке?
372
00:24:39,690 --> 00:24:42,022
Ты что, опоздал на свою доставку газет?
373
00:24:42,726 --> 00:24:44,694
"Привет, мистер и миссис Джонс.
Вот ваша газета.
374
00:24:44,862 --> 00:24:47,023
Извините за окно".
375
00:24:51,035 --> 00:24:53,026
Привет, Фибс.
376
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:54,393
Как у тебя дела?
377
00:24:54,638 --> 00:24:58,199
Мне нужно выбираться отсюда.
Я здесь просто с ума схожу.
378
00:24:58,742 --> 00:25:00,004
Держи, милая.
379
00:25:00,210 --> 00:25:03,373
Что это за чертовщина, травяной чай?
Терпеть его не могу.
380
00:25:04,715 --> 00:25:06,649
Ну, я добавила туда немного мёда.
381
00:25:10,054 --> 00:25:13,683
- Она еще не знает, что её уволили?
- Нет, врачи говорят, что это может её убить.
382
00:25:13,891 --> 00:25:16,052
О чем это вы, девочки,
там шепчетесь?
383
00:25:18,462 --> 00:25:20,487
Думаю, надо сказать ей.
384
00:25:20,964 --> 00:25:24,331
Фибс, может, твой сердечный
приступ - это знак...
385
00:25:24,501 --> 00:25:27,527
что тебе стоит подумать
о смене работы?
386
00:25:27,704 --> 00:25:29,695
Ладно, это что,
идиотское пари?
387
00:25:29,873 --> 00:25:32,364
Потому что победитель у нас уже есть.
388
00:25:32,543 --> 00:25:36,070
Он прав. У людей не должно быть
сердечных приступов в 31 год.
389
00:25:36,246 --> 00:25:38,840
Знаю, но если я не буду там работать,
чем я должна заниматься?
390
00:25:39,016 --> 00:25:43,282
- Тебе же нравилось играть на гитаре.
- Это было так прибыльно. Ты умница, как и твой
брат.
391
00:25:44,755 --> 00:25:47,918
А что насчёт массажа?
От него не будет сердечного приступа.
392
00:25:48,292 --> 00:25:50,385
Зарабатывать по 800
тысяч в год...
393
00:25:50,561 --> 00:25:52,825
или массировать мерзких голых людей
за гроши.
394
00:25:52,996 --> 00:25:55,590
Что мне делать? Что же мне выбрать?
395
00:26:01,438 --> 00:26:03,633
Должна сказать, она так реалистична.
396
00:26:03,807 --> 00:26:05,604
Знаю.
397
00:26:05,776 --> 00:26:07,107
Его зовут Пэт.
398
00:26:07,277 --> 00:26:09,973
Собака Пэт.
(игра слов, также значит "погладь собаку")
399
00:26:10,147 --> 00:26:11,409
Я поняла.
400
00:26:19,289 --> 00:26:20,449
Готова к добавке?
401
00:26:20,824 --> 00:26:22,382
Вообще-то, мне не стоит.
402
00:26:23,127 --> 00:26:24,116
Но я буду.
403
00:26:30,267 --> 00:26:32,633
- Похоже на дождик.
- Круто, да?
404
00:26:32,836 --> 00:26:35,066
Но если ты думаешь, что туда можно
засунуть рыбок...
405
00:26:35,239 --> 00:26:38,231
и они не застрянут в механизме,
то ты ошибаешься.
406
00:26:40,244 --> 00:26:41,973
Могу я воспользоваться ванной?
407
00:26:42,179 --> 00:26:43,578
Она вон там.
408
00:26:46,517 --> 00:26:48,382
Должна признаться,
409
00:26:48,585 --> 00:26:50,485
если бы неделю назад мне кто-нибудь сказал..
410
00:26:50,754 --> 00:26:54,121
что я буду писать дома
у Джоуи Триббиани...
411
00:26:54,324 --> 00:26:55,848
Жизнь удивительна, правда?
412
00:27:04,968 --> 00:27:06,799
Надеюсь, ты голоден.
413
00:27:07,070 --> 00:27:09,061
Мы начнём с устриц.
414
00:27:09,706 --> 00:27:12,436
Ты же знаешь, что
говорят про устриц?
415
00:27:13,277 --> 00:27:14,642
В них есть паразиты?
416
00:27:18,382 --> 00:27:22,113
Некоторые люди говорят, что устрицы -
это афродизиак.
417
00:27:23,453 --> 00:27:24,943
- Какие люди?
- Люди.
418
00:27:25,155 --> 00:27:26,918
Люди это говорят.
419
00:27:28,225 --> 00:27:29,556
Иди сюда.
420
00:27:32,930 --> 00:27:34,056
Устрицы, да?
421
00:27:35,799 --> 00:27:38,529
А потом мы будем есть
ближневосточный кускус.
422
00:27:38,735 --> 00:27:40,202
Кое-что можно есть...
423
00:27:40,404 --> 00:27:41,894
руками.
424
00:27:42,639 --> 00:27:44,834
Когда мы изучали
инфекционные болезни...
425
00:27:45,008 --> 00:27:47,033
Нет-нет-нет.
426
00:27:47,244 --> 00:27:48,472
Это для чувственности.
427
00:27:49,613 --> 00:27:50,841
Хорошо, а я и не знал.
428
00:27:55,352 --> 00:27:56,683
Прости, это из больницы.
429
00:27:57,287 --> 00:27:59,312
Еда выглядит потрясающе.
Оставишь мне немного?
430
00:27:59,690 --> 00:28:01,658
Ничего не могу обещать.
431
00:28:11,435 --> 00:28:13,426
Мы, правда, это сделаем?
432
00:28:15,272 --> 00:28:16,330
Похоже на то.
433
00:28:17,708 --> 00:28:21,769
Если тебе это кажется странным,
ты можешь отказаться.
434
00:28:22,112 --> 00:28:23,374
Я открою.
435
00:28:29,152 --> 00:28:32,485
- Спасибо, что пришла.
- Ни за что в жизни бы это не пропустила.
436
00:28:35,525 --> 00:28:36,890
Кстати, я Росс.
437
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,184
Привет, Росс.
438
00:28:40,497 --> 00:28:43,830
- Отличная у вас квартира.
- Спасибо большое.
439
00:28:47,337 --> 00:28:48,998
Здесь становится жарко.
440
00:28:55,345 --> 00:28:57,472
Мне жаль, что ты здесь со мной,
а не с Роджером.
441
00:28:57,681 --> 00:28:58,705
Да, мне тоже.
442
00:29:00,984 --> 00:29:03,248
Ну, я могу притвориться,
что он здесь.
443
00:29:04,154 --> 00:29:07,749
"Вот несколько изветных фактов
о кускус:
444
00:29:07,991 --> 00:29:11,392
До 1979 года второе "кус"
не прибавлялось".
445
00:29:14,665 --> 00:29:16,257
Перестань. Это не смешно.
446
00:29:17,834 --> 00:29:19,597
Извини.
Просто...
447
00:29:19,836 --> 00:29:23,203
сегодня должно было произойти
кое-что важное.
448
00:29:23,573 --> 00:29:26,201
- Что?
- Ты же не хочешь этого знать.
449
00:29:29,513 --> 00:29:30,741
И, все-таки, что?
450
00:29:33,917 --> 00:29:36,511
Сегодня должен был быть
мой первый раз.
451
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,948
С Роджером?
452
00:29:40,524 --> 00:29:42,287
Не только с Роджером?
453
00:29:42,559 --> 00:29:43,583
О, Боже.
454
00:29:44,027 --> 00:29:46,791
Ладно, расслабься,
мистер, у которого был секс 4 раза.
455
00:29:49,533 --> 00:29:51,398
4 разные женщины.
456
00:29:51,568 --> 00:29:54,059
У меня было больше секса.
457
00:29:54,404 --> 00:29:57,271
- Сколько?
- Девять.
458
00:29:59,976 --> 00:30:02,376
Я просто ждала идеального парня.
459
00:30:02,579 --> 00:30:06,071
Рад за тебя. Ты что, правда, думаешь,
что Роджер идеальный?
460
00:30:06,750 --> 00:30:09,378
Нет, но он не ужасный.
461
00:30:09,986 --> 00:30:12,045
То же самое я девчонкам про себя рассказываю.
462
00:30:13,256 --> 00:30:15,156
Чендлер, я умру девственницей.
463
00:30:15,926 --> 00:30:18,121
Нет, не умрёшь.
Ты милая и прекрасная...
464
00:30:18,328 --> 00:30:19,989
и с тобой это случится.
465
00:30:20,197 --> 00:30:22,995
Правда? Когда?
Хочешь это сделать со мной?
466
00:30:23,166 --> 00:30:24,656
Давай.
467
00:30:28,305 --> 00:30:29,329
Я пошутила.
468
00:30:30,407 --> 00:30:31,772
Я тоже.
469
00:30:39,950 --> 00:30:41,850
Ты такой великолепный актёр.
470
00:30:43,787 --> 00:30:47,621
Как же понять, где кончается
доктор Дрэйк Рэморе...
471
00:30:47,958 --> 00:30:50,324
и начинается Джоуи Триббиани?
472
00:30:51,128 --> 00:30:53,426
Ну, когда я Дрэйк...
473
00:30:54,164 --> 00:30:56,655
мне говорят, что нужно сказать.
474
00:30:58,702 --> 00:31:03,298
А когда я Джоуи, мне нужно
самому думать.
475
00:31:06,076 --> 00:31:07,168
Скажи мне что-нибудь, Джоуи.
476
00:31:11,114 --> 00:31:13,878
- Я только что упала с дивана.
- Да, упала.
477
00:31:15,051 --> 00:31:17,679
Вот так.
Позволь спросить.
478
00:31:19,990 --> 00:31:21,821
Когда в последний раз...
479
00:31:22,159 --> 00:31:25,390
тебе говорили,
какая ты красивая?
480
00:31:25,896 --> 00:31:26,954
Ого.
481
00:31:27,564 --> 00:31:29,464
Я не чувствую своих рук.
482
00:31:31,134 --> 00:31:32,795
Иди-ка сюда.
483
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:04,833
Мы не можем этого сделать.
484
00:32:06,937 --> 00:32:08,404
Устрицу?
485
00:32:10,841 --> 00:32:14,242
Если бы мы это сделали, на мне
лежала бы большая ответственность.
486
00:32:14,544 --> 00:32:18,640
Потому что ты ждала достаточно долго,
а мне бы не хотелось тебя разочаровать.
487
00:32:18,849 --> 00:32:20,874
С другой стороны, мне не с чем сравнивать.
488
00:32:21,084 --> 00:32:23,575
Даже если бы ты был ужасен,
как бы я это поняла?
489
00:32:25,121 --> 00:32:27,021
Это мне нравится.
490
00:32:27,591 --> 00:32:30,458
Мне сложнее.
Мне бы предстояло соревноваться с теми четырьмя
женщинами.
491
00:32:31,094 --> 00:32:33,585
Что ж, если это поможет,
то их было всего три.
492
00:32:34,764 --> 00:32:36,391
Но это будет только сегодня, да?
493
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,967
Конечно. Просто один друг
поможет второму.
494
00:32:40,303 --> 00:32:42,567
Стоп. Мы не делаем этого.
495
00:32:42,973 --> 00:32:44,133
- Давай сделаем.
- Нет.
496
00:32:44,374 --> 00:32:45,398
Ладно.
497
00:32:49,145 --> 00:32:51,204
У тебя есть какие-нибудь движения?
498
00:32:54,818 --> 00:32:56,445
Кое-какие есть.
499
00:32:57,487 --> 00:32:58,818
У меня нет.
500
00:33:01,224 --> 00:33:02,555
Ой, что это ты делаешь?
501
00:33:04,494 --> 00:33:07,224
- Извини, просто это очень странно.
- Ладно, давай забудем.
502
00:33:08,164 --> 00:33:10,132
А что, если свет погасить?
503
00:33:21,478 --> 00:33:23,412
Это диван.
504
00:33:27,684 --> 00:33:29,311
Я знаю.
505
00:33:34,691 --> 00:33:36,716
Боже мой.
506
00:33:38,028 --> 00:33:39,427
Я знаю.
507
00:33:40,864 --> 00:33:42,229
Скажу тебе вот что:
508
00:33:42,532 --> 00:33:44,864
мы сделаем это еще раз.
509
00:33:59,316 --> 00:34:00,544
Доброе утро.
510
00:34:02,252 --> 00:34:03,241
Точно.
511
00:34:05,155 --> 00:34:06,816
Боже.
512
00:34:07,657 --> 00:34:11,718
Поверить не могу, Джоуи Триббиани
слышал, как меня тошнило.
513
00:34:12,829 --> 00:34:15,195
Вообще-то, он еще и немножко видел.
514
00:34:18,201 --> 00:34:20,362
Боже, мы же не...?
515
00:34:22,739 --> 00:34:24,434
Конечно, нет, после того, что я видел.
516
00:34:26,242 --> 00:34:28,608
Боже, я ужасный человек.
517
00:34:29,079 --> 00:34:31,673
- Что? Почему?
- Потому что я замужем.
518
00:34:31,948 --> 00:34:33,711
Да, я замужняя женщина.
519
00:34:33,917 --> 00:34:37,045
Я пришла домой к телезвезде,
чтобы завести с ним интрижку.
520
00:34:38,421 --> 00:34:40,116
Это смешно.
521
00:34:40,457 --> 00:34:42,288
Я не "звезда".
522
00:34:43,460 --> 00:34:46,190
Я обычный знаменитый актёр.
523
00:34:47,864 --> 00:34:51,027
А я - ужасный, ужасный человек.
524
00:34:51,334 --> 00:34:53,598
Рейчел, перестань так говорить.
525
00:34:54,270 --> 00:34:55,328
Послушай.
526
00:34:55,772 --> 00:34:59,538
Помнишь момент в сериале,
когда Кэпри умирала?
527
00:34:59,876 --> 00:35:02,276
- И она дала мне...
- Кольцо из пещеры.
528
00:35:10,220 --> 00:35:12,984
Боже мой.
Вам разрешают брать это себе?
529
00:35:13,289 --> 00:35:16,952
Конечно, пока они не заметят,
можешь брать все, что хочешь.
530
00:35:18,128 --> 00:35:19,493
Я хочу, чтобы ты взяла его.
531
00:35:19,863 --> 00:35:21,387
Нет, я не могу.
532
00:35:21,665 --> 00:35:23,326
Каждый раз, когда ты будешь смотреть на него...
533
00:35:23,533 --> 00:35:27,025
я хочу, чтобы ты помнила, что
ты - хороший человек.
534
00:35:27,237 --> 00:35:29,330
У тебя бы шанс изменить...
535
00:35:30,707 --> 00:35:32,072
со мной.
536
00:35:33,543 --> 00:35:37,673
Но ты им не воспользовалась.
А кольцо - символ этого.
537
00:35:38,415 --> 00:35:41,680
А я думала, что это кольцо - символ
вечной любви Кэпри к брату.
538
00:35:41,885 --> 00:35:43,648
Ладно, тебе нужно кольцо или нет?
539
00:35:49,759 --> 00:35:51,989
Посмотри-ка, ты уже встала.
540
00:35:52,662 --> 00:35:54,186
Я решила попробовать прогуляться.
541
00:35:54,364 --> 00:35:56,389
Не нальёшь мне воды?
Я скоро вернусь.
542
00:35:56,599 --> 00:35:59,261
Ты ведь не будешь пользоваться
таксофоном, чтобы позвонить на работу?
543
00:35:59,569 --> 00:36:01,434
Нет. Я усвоила урок.
544
00:36:06,109 --> 00:36:07,940
Вперёд. Давай,
шевелись.
545
00:36:08,545 --> 00:36:10,012
Держи, Фиби.
546
00:36:10,246 --> 00:36:13,875
Туфли, дипломат. Спасибо, Лу.
Береги желчный пузырь.
547
00:36:20,423 --> 00:36:21,617
Слушай, Джоуи...
548
00:36:22,559 --> 00:36:24,288
а у тебя когда-нибудь было это втроём?
549
00:36:27,931 --> 00:36:32,197
Ну, Росс, думаю, что Кэрол замечательная,
и ты очень привлекательный, но..
550
00:36:33,903 --> 00:36:36,633
Нет. Я спрашиваю потому, что...
551
00:36:39,375 --> 00:36:41,366
у меня, кажется, вчера это было.
552
00:36:41,578 --> 00:36:43,068
У тебя?
553
00:36:44,681 --> 00:36:47,149
Ну, и как тебе? Понравилось?
554
00:36:47,350 --> 00:36:48,715
Это было...
555
00:36:49,152 --> 00:36:50,380
нормально.
556
00:36:52,021 --> 00:36:54,251
Просто нормально? Ты все правильно делал?
557
00:36:55,191 --> 00:36:59,787
Это было так, как если бы ты пришел на
вечеринку и подумал:
558
00:36:59,996 --> 00:37:03,762
"Кто-нибудь скучал бы по мне,
если бы я сюда не пришёл?"
559
00:37:07,370 --> 00:37:08,860
Все равно, Росс..
560
00:37:09,706 --> 00:37:14,268
худший день с двумя женщинами лучше,
чем любой другой день.
561
00:37:20,717 --> 00:37:21,741
Просто...
562
00:37:22,418 --> 00:37:25,581
моя роль закончилась
довольно быстро...
563
00:37:25,855 --> 00:37:28,346
а потом только и оставалось,
что ждать.
564
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,751
Но ты был с ними обеими.
565
00:37:33,963 --> 00:37:35,760
Не совсем.
566
00:37:37,767 --> 00:37:39,064
Только с Кэрол.
567
00:37:39,269 --> 00:37:42,261
- А что со второй?
- Она меня все время отпихивала.
568
00:37:43,106 --> 00:37:44,539
Тебе не это было нужно.
569
00:37:46,276 --> 00:37:48,335
По крайней мере,
ты многое увидел.
570
00:37:48,545 --> 00:37:51,480
Да уж, многое.
571
00:37:53,817 --> 00:37:55,808
- Скучно было, да?
- Немного.
572
00:37:57,487 --> 00:37:58,977
Я поесть приготовил.
573
00:38:00,657 --> 00:38:03,922
- Что именно?
- Сэндвич.
574
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,628
С индейкой и капелькой горчицы.
575
00:38:06,896 --> 00:38:08,830
- Звучит отлично.
- Так оно и было.
576
00:38:15,772 --> 00:38:19,401
Давай-ка я расскажу тебе о той цыпочке,
с которой я провел ночь.
577
00:38:19,943 --> 00:38:22,138
Погоди-ка, это же была ты.
578
00:38:23,413 --> 00:38:25,938
Зацени-ка. Я шлюха.
579
00:38:29,419 --> 00:38:31,080
Хочешь чем-нибудь заняться сегодня?
580
00:38:31,287 --> 00:38:33,653
Не могу.
Придёт доктор Роджер.
581
00:38:36,526 --> 00:38:37,788
Ясно.
582
00:38:38,027 --> 00:38:41,394
Потому что ты встречаешься с ним,
и он - хороший парень.
583
00:38:41,598 --> 00:38:42,792
Я помню, как...
584
00:38:45,168 --> 00:38:46,157
Ты в порядке?
585
00:38:46,436 --> 00:38:47,664
Да, абсолютно.
586
00:38:48,338 --> 00:38:49,327
Полностью в порядке. А ты?
587
00:38:49,606 --> 00:38:51,335
Отлично. Все прекрасно.
588
00:38:51,541 --> 00:38:54,840
Раньше я так нервничала, когда
доктор Роджер приходил.
589
00:38:55,044 --> 00:38:59,037
А после тебя я
"Доктор, примите меня немедленно".
590
00:38:59,849 --> 00:39:01,146
Уверен, что примет.
591
00:39:01,351 --> 00:39:04,843
"Я не по записи,
но осмотр мне точно не помешает".
592
00:39:09,459 --> 00:39:12,951
- Ты у верен, что все в порядке?
- Не волнуйся за меня, я справлюсь.
593
00:39:24,841 --> 00:39:26,365
Боже, Барри.
594
00:39:26,576 --> 00:39:29,238
Ты же сказала, что уедешь на
все выходные.
595
00:39:30,046 --> 00:39:33,106
И правда. Прости.
Я рано.
596
00:39:33,316 --> 00:39:35,375
Пожалуйста, заканчивайте.
597
00:39:41,024 --> 00:39:44,016
Сюрприз. Смотрите, кто вернулся.
598
00:39:46,829 --> 00:39:48,160
Вызывайте охрану.
599
00:39:48,498 --> 00:39:51,160
Фибс, разве тебя не уволили?
600
00:39:51,567 --> 00:39:52,932
Я так не думаю.
601
00:39:57,073 --> 00:39:59,667
- Что ты здесь делаешь?
- Все в порядке. Я вернулась на работу.
602
00:39:59,876 --> 00:40:01,969
Тот клоун из отдела исследований сказал,
что меня уволили.
603
00:40:02,178 --> 00:40:04,237
Ем бы своими исследованиями заняться, не так ли?
604
00:40:05,381 --> 00:40:07,281
Тебя уволили.
605
00:40:10,620 --> 00:40:13,088
Я все сказал тому человеку,
кто ответил по твоему телефону.
606
00:40:13,589 --> 00:40:15,921
Я не получила сообщение.
Так что, это не считается.
607
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:17,752
В общем, я буду у себя в кабинете.
608
00:40:18,261 --> 00:40:20,593
Фиби, у тебя нет кабинета.
609
00:40:21,397 --> 00:40:23,058
Тогда я буду работать прямо здесь.
610
00:40:23,266 --> 00:40:25,700
Здесь нормально. Рядом с цветком.
611
00:40:27,971 --> 00:40:29,598
Ты в моём кабинете.
612
00:40:31,307 --> 00:40:35,243
Я заработала кучу денег для компании.
Доллары.
613
00:40:35,578 --> 00:40:38,945
Песо, йены, рубли.
А стоит допустить одну маленькую ошибку...
614
00:40:39,148 --> 00:40:41,116
Ты потеряла 13 миллионов долларов.
615
00:40:41,317 --> 00:40:43,285
Так все дело в деньгах?
616
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,550
Это плохо, что...
617
00:40:47,123 --> 00:40:49,148
Ты, наверное, шутишь.
618
00:40:49,926 --> 00:40:53,089
- С тобой все в порядке?
- У меня еще один приступ.
619
00:40:53,329 --> 00:40:55,797
У меня еще один приступ.
620
00:40:55,999 --> 00:40:57,830
Вызывай 911.
621
00:40:58,568 --> 00:40:59,557
Тупица.
622
00:41:02,638 --> 00:41:04,196
Как ты, Фибс?
623
00:41:04,407 --> 00:41:06,807
Меня уволили, и у меня
сердечный приступ.
624
00:41:07,010 --> 00:41:08,637
Что ж, с возвращением.
625
00:41:14,684 --> 00:41:15,810
Джоуи Триббиани здесь?
626
00:41:17,653 --> 00:41:21,248
Если увидишь его, передай,
что я его ищу...
627
00:41:21,457 --> 00:41:24,756
и что на этот раз меня
не стошнит.
628
00:41:26,429 --> 00:41:29,364
Это всегда хорошие новости.
629
00:41:30,099 --> 00:41:31,088
Ты в порядке?
630
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:32,790
Я? У меня все отлично.
631
00:41:33,002 --> 00:41:35,732
Я в полном порядке
632
00:41:36,639 --> 00:41:38,504
Но знаешь, кто не в порядке?
633
00:41:38,674 --> 00:41:39,868
Мужчины.
634
00:41:40,143 --> 00:41:41,542
Ты же мужчина, верно, Росс?
635
00:41:41,744 --> 00:41:43,075
Присядь-ка.
636
00:41:44,313 --> 00:41:46,645
Позволь кое-что у тебя спросить.
637
00:41:47,150 --> 00:41:51,086
Неужели свадебны клятвы ничего
для вас не значат?
638
00:41:52,822 --> 00:41:55,791
Почему сразу после того,
как мы куда-то уезжаем...
639
00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:59,416
...бац, и вы уже в постели
с соседской выгульщицей собак?
640
00:42:03,066 --> 00:42:04,727
Нам очень жаль.
641
00:42:05,701 --> 00:42:10,661
Нет, серьёзно. Что произошло
со святостью брака?
642
00:42:11,874 --> 00:42:15,776
- Ты провела вчерашнюю ночь с Джоуи?
- А ты что, детектив?
643
00:42:18,281 --> 00:42:20,977
Я не знаю, что происходит у
вас с мужем...
644
00:42:21,184 --> 00:42:24,210
и надеюсь, что со взрослой
выгульщицей собак.
645
00:42:26,089 --> 00:42:29,456
Я всего лишь хочу сказать,
что не все мужчины такие.
646
00:42:29,725 --> 00:42:33,058
Есть мужчины, которые делают все
возможное для своего брака.
647
00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:35,856
Мужчины, которые будут стоять и смотреть...
648
00:42:36,099 --> 00:42:40,627
...на то, как их жёны участвуют в том,
что можно назвать только "групповухой для
двоих"...
649
00:42:40,903 --> 00:42:44,270
с едва знакомой женщиной
из спортзала.
650
00:42:45,608 --> 00:42:47,473
Кто эти мужчины?
651
00:42:47,810 --> 00:42:50,040
Мужчины. Парень, которого я знаю.
652
00:42:50,446 --> 00:42:54,109
Тогда, может, ты скажешь ему, что
его жена...
653
00:42:54,417 --> 00:42:55,884
лесбиянка.
654
00:42:56,052 --> 00:42:57,917
Она не...
655
00:43:03,059 --> 00:43:04,924
Она лесбиянка.
656
00:43:07,797 --> 00:43:09,264
Боже мой.
657
00:43:11,067 --> 00:43:13,297
Да еще какая.
658
00:43:17,106 --> 00:43:19,165
Поверить не могу.
659
00:43:19,842 --> 00:43:22,436
Прекрасный день для женатых людей, да?
660
00:43:24,981 --> 00:43:27,074
Мне жаль, что муж тебе изменил.
661
00:43:27,416 --> 00:43:29,816
Мне жаль, что твоя жена - лесбиянка.
662
00:43:31,854 --> 00:43:33,981
Женщины тоже не так идеальны.
663
00:43:34,257 --> 00:43:35,952
Попробуй сказать это моей жене.
664
00:43:41,998 --> 00:43:42,987
Можно войти?
665
00:43:43,199 --> 00:43:45,394
Проходи, ешь, что захочешь.
666
00:43:45,601 --> 00:43:47,592
У Роджера опять сработал пейджер.
667
00:43:47,803 --> 00:43:50,363
Да, я знаю, угадай, кто отправил
ему сообщение...
668
00:43:53,176 --> 00:43:55,007
о разрыве селезёнки?
669
00:43:57,313 --> 00:43:58,507
Зачем ты это сделал?
670
00:43:58,714 --> 00:44:00,875
Потому что ты не должна быть с ним.
671
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,010
Ты должна быть со мной.
672
00:44:08,357 --> 00:44:09,346
Серьёзно?
673
00:44:09,559 --> 00:44:13,154
Меня убивает, когда ты
говоришь о Роджере.
674
00:44:13,362 --> 00:44:15,853
Такие вещи, как вчера,
не часто происходят.
675
00:44:16,132 --> 00:44:20,068
По крайней мере, у меня. То есть, с теми двумя
женщинами...
676
00:44:22,371 --> 00:44:26,137
я просыпался по утрам и не мог дождаться момента
встречи с друзьями.
677
00:44:26,342 --> 00:44:28,037
А с тобой...
678
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,576
с тобой у меня всегда
рядом друг.
679
00:44:35,551 --> 00:44:38,179
Возможно, ты не захочешь
со мной встречаться.
680
00:44:38,387 --> 00:44:42,187
Ведь я слишком много шучу, у меня никогда
не было серьёзных отношений...
681
00:44:42,391 --> 00:44:44,757
и технически я никакой не доктор.
682
00:44:53,069 --> 00:44:55,264
У тебя ведь была всего одна
женщина, верно?
683
00:44:56,172 --> 00:44:57,662
Нет, их было двое.
684
00:44:57,907 --> 00:44:59,374
- Включая меня?
- О, да.
685
00:45:05,014 --> 00:45:09,951
Нужно всего два сердечных приступа,
Чтобы ты наконец-то понял
686
00:45:10,152 --> 00:45:14,282
Первый из них этого не сделает,
Но второй тебя освободит.
687
00:45:17,660 --> 00:45:22,461
Скажи всей своей ненависти и гневу:
"Нам пора расстаться".
688
00:45:22,665 --> 00:45:24,895
И я именно так и поступлю,
689
00:45:25,167 --> 00:45:28,034
Как только ублюдки, на которых я работала,
Умрут.
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