Парные субтитры для TV фильмов и сериалов на английском и русском языках. Friends - Друзья. 3-4. The One With Metaphorical Tunnel.

 
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Невероятные
Открытия

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00:00:05,567 --> 00:00:09,134
Добро пожаловать в
невероятные открытия!

3
00:00:09,819 --> 00:00:11,197
О! Снова оно!

4
00:00:11,327 --> 00:00:14,064
Ребята, пожалуйста,
хватит уже смотреть это?

5
00:00:14,203 --> 00:00:17,534
С вами такое уже случалось?
Вы хотите выпить стакан молока...

6
00:00:17,632 --> 00:00:20,996
...но эти пачки так и опрокидываются
туда-сюда, их трудно открыть!

7
00:00:21,091 --> 00:00:23,380
И не говори, Майк.

8
00:00:25,244 --> 00:00:28,840
- Должен же быть лучший способ.
- И он есть, Кевин!

9
00:00:28,992 --> 00:00:32,256
- Может, пожалуйста, выключим?
- Ни за что, Кевин!

10
00:00:32,351 --> 00:00:35,999
А что, если я скажу, что есть
новый продукт, гарантирующий...

11
00:00:36,031 --> 00:00:38,981
...что вам больше не придётся
открывать пачки молока?

12
00:00:39,071 --> 00:00:42,176
Встречайте - Милкмастер 2000!

13
00:00:43,128 --> 00:00:47,180
- Заинтригован?
- Меня аж туда-сюда опрокидывает!

14
00:00:47,551 --> 00:00:52,561
Это первый раз, когда он его пробует.
Увидите, как это просто в использовании.

15
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- Он работает с любыми пачками молока.
- Ух ты, как легко!

16
00:00:55,872 --> 00:00:58,641
Теперь, я могу пить молоко каждый день.

17
00:01:01,632 --> 00:01:04,704
Сезон 3, серия 4
Та, с метафорическим туннелем.

18
00:01:04,704 --> 00:01:07,704
Русские субтитры:
Dais 2010

19
00:01:49,632 --> 00:01:51,966
Совершенно ясно.
Сейчас нет хороших фильмов.

20
00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:55,413
Тогда пошли на плохой,
и позанимаемся кое-чем.

21
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:03,959
Может, мне повернуться так,
чтобы можно стукаться о мою спину?

22
00:02:06,108 --> 00:02:09,057
- Эй, привет. Как дела?
- Может, ты мне скажешь?

23
00:02:09,184 --> 00:02:12,864
Моя агентша хочет знать, почему
я не появился на сегодняшнем...

24
00:02:12,928 --> 00:02:16,443
...прослушивании, первом за эту неделю.
Как же ты мне не передал сообщение?

25
00:02:16,543 --> 00:02:19,496
Я бы сказал тебе, я люблю
быть виноватым...

26
00:02:19,648 --> 00:02:21,373
...но это был не я.

27
00:02:21,503 --> 00:02:24,091
Да, это он.
Это был он!

28
00:02:25,183 --> 00:02:27,225
Ладно, это была я!

29
00:02:28,507 --> 00:02:31,904
- Как это ты?
- Ну, я совсем растерялась, знаете?

30
00:02:32,032 --> 00:02:34,881
Чендлер был в шкафу,
считал до 10... уже было 7...

31
00:02:35,039 --> 00:02:37,881
...а я ещё не нашла места,
куда спрятаться.

32
00:02:38,431 --> 00:02:42,955
Я хотела сказать тебе, и написала
на руке. Видишь? Там всё.

33
00:02:43,007 --> 00:02:44,963
Да, это моё прослушивание.

34
00:02:45,023 --> 00:02:47,840
Видишь? Вот почему у меня
везде есть блокноты.

35
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:51,549
Да. И вот почему мы не берём
тебя играть с нами.

36
00:02:51,707 --> 00:02:55,256
Что за великая трагедия?
Назначь прослушивание ещё раз.

37
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Эстелл пыталась. Но руководительша
подбора сказала ей, что я упустил шанс.

38
00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:00,801
Ну, это же не честно!

39
00:03:00,991 --> 00:03:03,458
Я позвоню ей.
Я скажу ей, что это я виновата.

40
00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:06,466
Нет, нельзя. Руководитель подбора
не разговаривает с друзьями.

41
00:03:06,559 --> 00:03:11,023
- Она говорит только с агентами.
- Какая же скучная у неё жизнь.

42
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- Что ты делаешь?
- Нет, я знаю, я знаю.

43
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Привет, это Кетлин из
агенства Фиби Буффе.

44
00:03:21,503 --> 00:03:24,291
Энн может поговорить с Фиби?

45
00:03:24,447 --> 00:03:26,522
Она знает, о чём это.

46
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,452
Брось. Брось же...

47
00:03:29,884 --> 00:03:33,531
Энни? Привет. Слушай, у нас
проблемка с Джоуи Трибиани.

48
00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:37,180
Вероятно, он не попал на прослушивание.
С кем ты говорила из моей конторы?

49
00:03:37,247 --> 00:03:39,355
Эстелл? Я не знаю, что
сделаю с ней.

50
00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:44,543
Если уходит муж и сжигает квартиру,
из-за этого мир не остановится.

51
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,094
Кому-то ещё страшно?

52
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Если у Джоуи не будет прослушивания,
тогда с Эстелл всё кончено. Мне наплевать!

53
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Энни, ты куколка. Когда сможешь его
посмотреть? Мне нужна ручка. Ручку!

54
00:04:02,847 --> 00:04:06,595
Дайте ей блокнот!
Дайте ей блокнот! Блокнот!

55
00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:09,837
Ну, а теперь тебе нужен блокнот.

56
00:04:13,951 --> 00:04:15,906
Вот и мой сынок.

57
00:04:16,064 --> 00:04:18,138
Вот мой сынок!

58
00:04:18,271 --> 00:04:21,886
И вот его... Барби!

59
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:29,462
Что... Что мой сын делает с Барби?

60
00:04:29,819 --> 00:04:32,539
Он выбрал её в магазине.
Он любит её.

61
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,261
Он носит её везде,
как палочку-выручалочку.

62
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,613
Только она с ботинками
и модным беретом.

63
00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:40,860
Да, мило.

64
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:43,906
Так и зачем она ему?

65
00:04:44,031 --> 00:04:46,436
Ну взял он куклу.
Ну и что?

66
00:04:47,647 --> 00:04:51,196
Может, ты беспокоишься, что
он вырастет и подастся...

67
00:04:51,263 --> 00:04:53,090
...в шоубизнес?

68
00:04:53,339 --> 00:04:55,427
Это никак не связано
с фактом...

69
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,159
...что он растёт у
двух женщин?

70
00:04:58,912 --> 00:05:03,781
Знаете что? Прекрасно. Если вы
согласны с Барби, то я тоже.

71
00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:07,038
Отдай папе Барби.
Отдай мне Барби.

72
00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:11,134
Не хочешь поиграть
с монстромашиной?

73
00:05:11,423 --> 00:05:12,967
Нет? Ладно.

74
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,729
Как насчёт Дино-солдата?

75
00:05:20,859 --> 00:05:22,368
Росс. Ты так жалок.

76
00:05:22,463 --> 00:05:26,761
Почему твой сын не может
играть с этой куклой?

77
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,800
Мне пора на работу.

78
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,965
Никто не видел мою
левую сиську?

79
00:05:38,591 --> 00:05:40,718
Мне нравился этот фильм.

80
00:05:44,128 --> 00:05:46,570
Вот она.
Джоуи, что ты делаешь?

81
00:05:46,783 --> 00:05:49,323
Извини. Она такая мягкая.

82
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,984
Джо..! Подними трубку.

83
00:05:54,107 --> 00:05:58,690
У меня одна рука. Это тебе следовало
бы помогать мне... Подай свитер.

84
00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:00,633
Просто ответь! Это Дженис.

85
00:06:00,799 --> 00:06:03,866
И если я подниму, то мне
придётся увидеться с ней.

86
00:06:05,148 --> 00:06:07,584
Замечательно.
Мне придётся встречаться с ней.

87
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,985
Почему ты не хочешь встретиться
с Дженис?

88
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:12,219
Вчера вечером, за ужином,
когда подали на стол...

89
00:06:12,351 --> 00:06:18,555
...Она переложила мне половину
своей курицы и забрала все помидоры.

90
00:06:18,751 --> 00:06:20,860
И это плохо...

91
00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:24,363
...потому, что ты ненавидишь курицу?

92
00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:29,217
Ты не хотел отдавать помидоры.
Помидоры очень важны для тебя.

93
00:06:29,471 --> 00:06:31,526
Нет, просто вдруг, мы стали "парой".

94
00:06:31,619 --> 00:06:34,141
И у меня в голове сработала
сигнализация.

95
00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:37,112
"Борись за свою жизнь!
Убирайся отсюда!"

96
00:06:37,727 --> 00:06:39,585
Мужики просто невероятны.

97
00:06:39,647 --> 00:06:41,309
Народ, что с вами?

98
00:06:41,407 --> 00:06:44,589
Только вы почувствуете что-то,
вам сразу надо убегать?

99
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,715
Я знаю. Это...

100
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:52,130
Вот, почему я не хочу идти сегодня.
Я боюсь, что скажу какую-то глупость.

101
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:55,421
То есть это чисто "мужицкая фишка",
что вы держитесь на расстоянии...

102
00:06:55,519 --> 00:06:57,345
...пока мы с вами не расстанемся?

103
00:06:57,439 --> 00:06:59,585
Так вы знаете об этом?

104
00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:02,011
А что мне делать?
Мне надо как-то через это пройти.

105
00:07:02,175 --> 00:07:04,446
Я не хочу бояться сближения.

106
00:07:04,575 --> 00:07:08,624
Я хочу пройти через этот тунель
на другую сторону!

107
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,566
Где нет боязни сближения.

108
00:07:12,255 --> 00:07:13,865
Есть ли...

109
00:07:18,107 --> 00:07:20,069
Есть ли какие-то мысли?

110
00:07:20,191 --> 00:07:22,758
Я никогда не был не был
один в тунеле, потому что...

111
00:07:22,815 --> 00:07:28,110
...как я знаю, туда не пускали, если
у тебя больше одной девчонки в машине.

112
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:32,546
Но мне кажется, что это также,
как и всё другое. Борись со страхом.

113
00:07:32,607 --> 00:07:35,490
Боишься высоты?
Залезь на самый верх здания.

114
00:07:35,615 --> 00:07:37,257
Боишься жуков?

115
00:07:38,111 --> 00:07:39,655
Заведи жука.

116
00:07:41,979 --> 00:07:43,804
В твоём случае -
это боязнь сближения.

117
00:07:43,935 --> 00:07:48,257
Тогда, иди, и будь самым сближённым
парнем, когда-либо бывшим!

118
00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:50,955
Невероятно, но это правда.

119
00:07:51,291 --> 00:07:54,361
- Ты так думаешь?
- О, да! Давай, мужик!

120
00:07:54,495 --> 00:07:55,642
Прыгай в пучину!

121
00:07:55,807 --> 00:08:00,552
Гляди в дуло пистолета!
Ссы против ветра!

122
00:08:00,791 --> 00:08:03,425
Джо... Уверяю... Если я загляну
в дуло пистолета...

123
00:08:03,519 --> 00:08:06,969
...я обоссу почти всё вокруг.

124
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:11,048
Центральный перк.

125
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,156
У тебя прослушивание утром!

126
00:08:14,235 --> 00:08:15,450
Могу я позвонить по телефону?

127
00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:20,626
Конечно, он для этого тут и есть.
Для аварий и ложных агентов.

128
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,988
Давай, малышка! Давай!

129
00:08:24,415 --> 00:08:27,330
Привет. Я от Фиби Буффе
вы писали на пейджер.

130
00:08:27,455 --> 00:08:30,937
Так, она сейчас в машине.
Я вас соединю.

131
00:08:31,071 --> 00:08:33,164
Очень хороший ход.

132
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,025
Ладно, говорите.

133
00:08:36,671 --> 00:08:38,249
- Говори, говори!
О! О!

134
00:08:39,231 --> 00:08:40,646
Привет, Энни!

135
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:42,543
Отлично. Получилось!

136
00:08:44,795 --> 00:08:49,305
Ты меня спрашиваешь, будет ли он
работать по графику? Не знаю.

137
00:08:49,439 --> 00:08:51,648
Считай, что да,.. будет.

138
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,468
Отлично. О, ты такая лапочка.

139
00:08:54,591 --> 00:08:56,831
Я бы хотела с тобой пообедать!

140
00:08:56,959 --> 00:08:59,742
Как ты смотришь пообедать
в следующий...

141
00:08:59,871 --> 00:09:01,900
Заехала в тунель.

142
00:09:02,015 --> 00:09:03,063
Невероятно.

143
00:09:03,199 --> 00:09:05,290
О, спасибо тебе большое!

144
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:09,901
Было так здорово. Ну,... я раньше никогда
не говорила по телефону из машины.

145
00:09:10,107 --> 00:09:13,057
Ты просто восхитительна!
Можешь оказать мне большую услугу?

146
00:09:13,215 --> 00:09:16,610
Есть ещё одно прослушивание,
куда Эстелл не могла договориться.

147
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,234
Я не знаю.
Это было здорово один раз, но...

148
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,827
Пожалуйста! Это будет
ещё один разок.

149
00:09:21,919 --> 00:09:23,393
Ну, или два.

150
00:09:23,487 --> 00:09:24,601
Два?

151
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:26,396
На самом деле три.

152
00:09:26,591 --> 00:09:30,708
Пожалуйста! У тебя так хорошо получается.
Я люблю тебя.

153
00:09:31,007 --> 00:09:32,863
Ладно. Но только эти три, так?

154
00:09:32,991 --> 00:09:34,567
Нет, четыре.

155
00:09:38,526 --> 00:09:41,266
Так чего это ты решил
поужинать сегодня?

156
00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:43,417
Потому, что я хотел...

157
00:09:43,519 --> 00:09:45,380
...подарить тебе это.

158
00:09:46,527 --> 00:09:49,548
О! Ты такой милашка!

159
00:09:53,407 --> 00:09:55,416
Подстилочная бумага!

160
00:09:56,219 --> 00:09:59,004
Не знаю, что и сказать, когда тот,
с кем ты спишь ...

161
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:01,225
...дарит тебе подстилочную бумагу!

162
00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:05,726
Погоди. Вот ещё.
Видишь ли, к бумаге прилагается...

163
00:10:05,887 --> 00:10:08,327
...совершенно новая шуфлятка!

164
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,563
Вобще-то эта шуфлятка от
моей тумбочки.

165
00:10:13,727 --> 00:10:16,645
Тебе не стоило этого делать.

166
00:10:16,799 --> 00:10:17,979
Да, стоило.

167
00:10:18,079 --> 00:10:20,546
Да, стоило.
Ты же моя девушка...

168
00:10:20,671 --> 00:10:24,188
...а девушки должны
такое получать.

169
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:29,196
Ну, наверное в берлоге
сдох медведь...

170
00:10:29,406 --> 00:10:32,027
...потому, что, о боже мой!

171
00:10:33,151 --> 00:10:35,258
Кто бы мог подумать,
что когда-нибудь...

172
00:10:35,359 --> 00:10:39,159
...Чендлер Бинг купит мне
шуфлятку?

173
00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:41,226
Ну, только не я.

174
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,490
Но это случилось.
И даже больше.

175
00:10:47,615 --> 00:10:49,673
Мы должны совершить путешествие.

176
00:10:49,951 --> 00:10:51,066
Должны?

177
00:10:51,199 --> 00:10:54,186
Мы же пара, а пары
так делают.

178
00:10:54,399 --> 00:10:56,386
И я хочу встретиться с
твоими родителями.

179
00:10:56,479 --> 00:11:00,029
Мы выведем в поездку
твоих родителей!

180
00:11:03,099 --> 00:11:08,209
Я так не думаю, потому что я думаю,
ты меня прямо сейчас разводишь!

181
00:11:08,479 --> 00:11:09,527
Ты в порядке?

182
00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:11,079
Нет, я в порядке.

183
00:11:11,294 --> 00:11:13,217
Я совсем в порядке!
Это здорово.

184
00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:16,508
Я всю жизнь боялся этого
момента.

185
00:11:16,671 --> 00:11:19,291
А сейчас, вот он, а я такой:
ну и что такого?

186
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:23,465
Я мог бы даже предложить: Давай
будем жить вместе, и ничего.

187
00:11:23,615 --> 00:11:26,652
Ты, вероятно, хочешь чтобы мы
жили вместе?

188
00:11:26,906 --> 00:11:30,172
- Это меня не пугает!
- Ну, зато это пугает меня!

189
00:11:30,335 --> 00:11:34,147
Я даже ещё не разведена! Чендлер!
Ты меня просто пригласил на макароны...

190
00:11:34,207 --> 00:11:37,342
...а теперь говоришь о том,
чтобы жить вместе.

191
00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,263
А я даже не проголодалась настолько.

192
00:11:39,359 --> 00:11:43,256
Знаешь что? уже очень поздно,
и я пожалуй...

193
00:11:43,391 --> 00:11:46,205
Не уходи! Я тебя напугал!
Я сказал слишком много!

194
00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:50,466
Я безнадёжен, и неловок,
и жажду любви!

195
00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:58,049
Эй, Дженис, это я.

196
00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:03,937
Хотел извиниться наперёд, за то,
что преследовал тебя на улице.

197
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:12,358
Вот, держи, дорогой.
Это поможет.

198
00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:14,841
Я догнал её, а она говорит...

199
00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:18,391
...Эти отношения двигаются слишком
быстро, надо притормозить.

200
00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:20,155
Это нехорошо.

201
00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:21,932
Тогда я стал...

202
00:12:22,463 --> 00:12:24,370
...умолять и цепляться за неё.

203
00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:28,415
Погоди-ка минутку. Может, не так
всё и плохо. Как вы расстались?

204
00:12:28,543 --> 00:12:30,653
Она сказала, что позвонит.

205
00:12:32,671 --> 00:12:34,213
О, боже.

206
00:12:34,495 --> 00:12:37,167
Добро пожаловать
на нашу сторону тунеля.

207
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:40,127
У этого мороженого вкус дерьма,
между прочим.

208
00:12:40,255 --> 00:12:43,704
Ну, это из тех малокалорийных
соевомолочных отбросов.

209
00:12:43,839 --> 00:12:47,154
Мы храним хорошее для
совсем ужасных случаев.

210
00:12:47,323 --> 00:12:51,103
Просто, когда на нервах,
надо переходить на маложирное.

211
00:12:51,199 --> 00:12:52,513
Да, правильно.

212
00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:55,606
Вы не думаете, что я ужасен?

213
00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:59,517
Совсем нет. Ты не ужасен.
Просто нам нужно всё взвесить.

214
00:12:59,615 --> 00:13:02,137
Ладно. Мне ей позвонить?
- Нет!

215
00:13:04,319 --> 00:13:07,768
Сейчас критический момент.
И если рука тянется к трубке...

216
00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:10,337
...то прогуляйся по магазинам,
или засунь зад в джакузи.

217
00:13:10,431 --> 00:13:14,012
Если хочешь её вернуть,
то пора вести себя гордо.

218
00:13:14,174 --> 00:13:16,184
Она должна знать, что
она тебе не нужна.

219
00:13:16,319 --> 00:13:17,946
И тебе следует сделать
вот что...

220
00:13:18,143 --> 00:13:20,992
...ты должен нечаянно наскочить
на неё, заранее продумав как...

221
00:13:21,119 --> 00:13:23,675
...и тогда надменно поговорить с ней.

222
00:13:24,379 --> 00:13:26,921
Тогда я совсем её не потеряю?

223
00:13:27,199 --> 00:13:29,988
О, дорогой, ты не совсем потерян.

224
00:13:33,022 --> 00:13:35,395
Я спросил: Тогда я совсем
её не потеряю?

225
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,770
Угадай, кто это?

226
00:13:43,903 --> 00:13:46,850
Это сильнейший парень во всей
Игроландии, Бен!

227
00:13:46,974 --> 00:13:50,849
Настоящий американский герой
я - Джи Ай Джо!

228
00:13:50,975 --> 00:13:53,464
Брось Барби. Брось Барби.

229
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:54,908
Джи Ай Джо?

230
00:13:55,199 --> 00:13:57,721
Ты правда думаешь, он ему понравится?

231
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,287
Джи Ай Джо?

232
00:13:59,391 --> 00:14:01,504
Класс! Можно и мне поиграть?

233
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:06,848
Слышь, Бен! Эта игрушка защищает
интересы ЮС ойл во всём мире!

234
00:14:06,911 --> 00:14:08,289
Вперёд, Джо!

235
00:14:11,455 --> 00:14:13,695
- Вот и ты, Фибс!
- Нет, не я. Извините.

236
00:14:13,759 --> 00:14:16,444
Но, Фиби, погоди, погоди.
Фиби!

237
00:14:16,574 --> 00:14:19,644
О, Джоуи! А, ладно!
Просто я тебя не узнала...

238
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:21,772
...в этих штанах.

239
00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:25,541
Ну как тот телефильм,
слышно что-нибудь?

240
00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:27,292
Я думаю, должно прокатить.

241
00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:30,112
Да, они звонили!
Тебе роль не дали!

242
00:14:30,239 --> 00:14:34,050
Ясно? Тебе роль не дали.
Извини. Извини.

243
00:14:34,143 --> 00:14:36,512
Это нормально.
Так бывает.

244
00:14:36,671 --> 00:14:39,588
Но так не должно быть.
Знаешь что?

245
00:14:39,614 --> 00:14:42,221
У тебя ужасная, ужасная
профессия.

246
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,330
Я не хочу быть тем человеком,
который заставляет тебя выглядеть так.

247
00:14:46,431 --> 00:14:48,573
Я в порядке. Видишь?

248
00:14:50,143 --> 00:14:52,679
Сейчас ты грустный и скорченный.

249
00:14:52,895 --> 00:14:54,689
Извини. Я увольняюсь.

250
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,947
Нет, нет, ты не можешь уволиться!
Ты самый лучший мой агент.

251
00:14:59,039 --> 00:15:02,400
Отказы это часть жизни актёра.
Нельзя это принимать близко.

252
00:15:02,558 --> 00:15:07,333
Они сказали, что ещё не видели итальянца
с таким плохим итальянским акцентом.

253
00:15:07,518 --> 00:15:09,080
Они так сказали?

254
00:15:09,182 --> 00:15:13,157
О, боже, опять это выражение лица.
Видишь? Эта работа не для меня!

255
00:15:13,214 --> 00:15:15,354
Вот по-этому ты должна
делать эту работу!

256
00:15:15,455 --> 00:15:16,732
Агенты всегда врут.

257
00:15:16,831 --> 00:15:19,778
Эстелл обычно говорит что-то типа:
Им это не подходит.

258
00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:21,726
А это! Я могу использовать это.

259
00:15:21,823 --> 00:15:25,339
Я могете поработати над акесенте.

260
00:15:25,502 --> 00:15:28,602
Да, ладно. Раз это
тебе помогает, ладно. Да.

261
00:15:28,734 --> 00:15:31,636
Ты меня никогда не поймаешь, Джо-о!

262
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,120
Нет, спасибо.

263
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,120
Чендлер?

264
00:15:54,494 --> 00:15:56,518
Что ты тут делаешь?

265
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,656
Изволю слегка закупаться.

266
00:15:58,719 --> 00:16:00,395
Как ваши дела?

267
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,045
Ты что, стал британцем?

268
00:16:04,145 --> 00:16:05,145
Нет.

269
00:16:05,662 --> 00:16:07,339
Больше нет.

270
00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:11,231
Почему ты закупаешься тут?
Ты же даже не живёшь тут рядом.

271
00:16:11,359 --> 00:16:14,361
Ты что, меня поджидал?

272
00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:18,659
Я просто...

273
00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:22,132
...выбираю кое-что для вечеринки.

274
00:16:23,294 --> 00:16:24,841
Каша?

275
00:16:25,182 --> 00:16:27,192
На какой это вечеринке подают кашу?

276
00:16:27,294 --> 00:16:31,494
Извиняюсь, если мои друзья
не так изысканны, как твои.

277
00:16:31,902 --> 00:16:33,115
И где вечеринка?

278
00:16:33,214 --> 00:16:34,463
Здесь, в Челси.

279
00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:36,129
И чья это вечеринка?

280
00:16:36,223 --> 00:16:37,403
Женщины.

281
00:16:37,502 --> 00:16:39,051
Какой женщины?

282
00:16:39,903 --> 00:16:41,515
Челси.

283
00:16:42,843 --> 00:16:46,174
Так, что тут происходит?
Ты видишься с кем-то за моей спиной...

284
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:48,891
...и из-за этого говоришь, как
самый большой придурок мира...

285
00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:51,360
...или ты притворяешься, что
встречаешься с кем-то...

286
00:16:51,454 --> 00:16:54,950
...что делает тебя таким жалким, что
я могу расплакаться прямо тут!

287
00:16:55,038 --> 00:16:58,921
Так каким из этих парней
ты хочешь быть?

288
00:16:59,422 --> 00:17:01,513
Могу я быть вон тем парнем?

289
00:17:03,614 --> 00:17:08,537
Так, у нас появилось ещё несколько
хороших отказов. Есть над чем поработать.

290
00:17:08,830 --> 00:17:09,912
Ладно. Давай.

291
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,765
Так. Реклама зоопарка.

292
00:17:12,895 --> 00:17:14,043
Я не получил?

293
00:17:14,142 --> 00:17:18,719
Там сказали, что: не был убедителен,
как человеческое существо.

294
00:17:18,911 --> 00:17:21,253
Вот, поработай над этим.

295
00:17:21,822 --> 00:17:22,971
Прекрасно.

296
00:17:23,230 --> 00:17:24,279
Что ещё?

297
00:17:24,382 --> 00:17:28,330
На бродвейской постановке сказали,
что ты: совершенный, но тупой.

298
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,404
О, нет, погоди. Извиняюсь.
Тут "совершенно тупой".

299
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,723
Нет, всё хватит, нет, нет.
Правда.

300
00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:35,069
Слушай...

301
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:38,002
...я очень ценю это, Фибс, но...

302
00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:41,015
... я должен вернуться к Эстелл.

303
00:17:41,151 --> 00:17:44,133
Не пойми меня неверно.
Ты лучший агент, чем она...

304
00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:48,736
...но с ней хотя-бы мои совершенно
тупые мозги не расплавятся.

305
00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:50,912
Да, нет, я понимаю.

306
00:17:51,039 --> 00:17:52,700
Понимаешь? Спасибо. Ладно.

307
00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,179
Извини.

308
00:17:57,471 --> 00:17:58,651
Погоди минутку.

309
00:17:58,783 --> 00:18:00,093
Погоди минутку.

310
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:03,519
Ты, случаем, не придумала всё это,
чтобы не быть моим агентом?

311
00:18:03,679 --> 00:18:05,188
О, ты раскусил меня.

312
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,253
Я полностью раскрыта.

313
00:18:10,078 --> 00:18:12,584
Это-то я и подозревал.

314
00:18:15,582 --> 00:18:17,737
И тогда я, знаете...

315
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:21,934
...бросил в неё мешочек каши
и убежал из магазина.

316
00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:26,826
Боже, Чендлер, мы договаривались
"надменно" а не "придурковато".

317
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,148
Я вобще всё разрушил, так ведь?

318
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:33,965
Не настало ли время для
хорошего мороженого?

319
00:18:34,078 --> 00:18:35,655
Да, настало.

320
00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:39,564
Знаешь, что?
Всё будет хорошо.

321
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:48,230
Можешь подождать секунду?

322
00:18:49,374 --> 00:18:50,521
Что мне делать?

323
00:18:50,623 --> 00:18:52,578
Я не знаю.
Это так неожиданно.

324
00:18:52,702 --> 00:18:55,990
Если бы мы сделали как ты,
то мужик никогда бы не позвонил.

325
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,510
Придумала! Притворись, что только встал.
Это её озадачит!

326
00:18:59,615 --> 00:19:01,855
- Будь сонный!
- Да, и заспанный!

327
00:19:01,918 --> 00:19:05,506
Что вы..?
Хватит называть имена гномов!

328
00:19:09,502 --> 00:19:12,255
Я так рад, что ты позвонила.

329
00:19:13,214 --> 00:19:17,837
Знаю, я вёл себя очень
странно вчера...

330
00:19:18,719 --> 00:19:22,021
...это потому, что я
просто без ума от тебя...

331
00:19:24,319 --> 00:19:28,412
...и я был такой глупый и напуганный...

332
00:19:28,511 --> 00:19:30,667
...и глупый ещё пару раз.

333
00:19:31,454 --> 00:19:32,802
Я извиняюсь.

334
00:19:33,919 --> 00:19:35,167
Правда?

335
00:19:36,895 --> 00:19:38,109
Правда?

336
00:19:38,942 --> 00:19:41,147
Ему так повезло.
Если бы Дженис была парнем...

337
00:19:41,278 --> 00:19:44,561
...она бы сейчас спала
с кем-нибудь другим уже.

338
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,555
Я тебя тоже люблю.

339
00:19:46,974 --> 00:19:48,551
Это так нечестно!

340
00:19:56,159 --> 00:19:58,020
Джи Ай Джо? Джи Ай Джо?

341
00:19:58,271 --> 00:20:02,300
Не знаю, что вам сказать, ребятки.
Эту куклу он сам выбрал.

342
00:20:02,463 --> 00:20:04,832
Ты что, её сахаром намазал?

343
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:07,294
Слушай Джи Ай Джо пришёл,
Барби ушла.

344
00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:11,952
И если вам это не понраву,
то мне жалко вас.

345
00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:16,439
Чего это ты так разнылся?
Ну была у него Барби. Велика беда.

346
00:20:16,574 --> 00:20:19,249
Ты сам наряжался как женщина.

347
00:20:24,351 --> 00:20:25,699
Что?

348
00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:28,775
Ты же наряжался в мамины
одёжки?

349
00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,588
О чём ты говоришь?

350
00:20:30,719 --> 00:20:33,734
Большая шляпа, бусы,
маленькая розовая сумочка?

351
00:20:33,822 --> 00:20:36,511
Ладно. Ты всё выдумываешь.

352
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,658
Как же ты мог забыть?

353
00:20:38,718 --> 00:20:40,609
Ты просил называть тебя "Пчёлка".

354
00:20:46,814 --> 00:20:48,194
О, боже.

355
00:20:49,022 --> 00:20:52,491
Я никогда ещё не была
так счастлива.

356
00:20:52,574 --> 00:20:54,714
Что это была за песенка?

357
00:20:54,815 --> 00:20:57,155
О, пожалуйста,
спой песенку.

358
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,515
Не было песенки.
Не было песенки.

359
00:20:59,615 --> 00:21:01,256
Я пчела...

360
00:21:01,439 --> 00:21:03,132
- Я пью чай...
- Хватит уже.

361
00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:04,836
Может ты...

362
00:21:05,694 --> 00:21:07,170
Может ты...

363
00:21:07,999 --> 00:21:09,475
Может ты...

364
00:21:10,783 --> 00:21:13,672
Может ты станцуй со мной?

365
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,113
Я пчела,

366
00:21:22,494 --> 00:21:24,667
Я пью чай,

367
00:21:25,214 --> 00:21:29,855
Может ты станцуй со мной?

368
00:21:39,294 --> 00:21:40,938
Росс?

1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,000
Welcome, everybody!
Welcome to Amazing Discoveries!

2
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:07,400
It's on again!

3
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,900
Guys, could we please
not watch this?

4
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,800
This ever happen to you?
You go to get a glass of milk...

5
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,100
... but these cartons are so
flinging, flanging hard to open!

6
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,100
Boy, you said it, Mike.

7
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,900
- There's gotta be a better way.
- There is, Kevin!

8
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,500
- Can we please turn this off?
- No way, Kevin!

9
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,200
What if I told you there's
a new product that guarantees...

10
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:35,200
... you'll never have to open up
milk cartons again?

11
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,600
Meet the Milkmaster 2000!

12
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,300
- Intrigued?
- You're flinging, flanging right I am!

13
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,300
This is the first time he's used this.
You'll see how easy this is to do.

14
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,000
- This works in any milk carton.
- Wow, it is easy!

15
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,500
Now I can have milk every day.

16
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,100
It's official.
There are no good movies.

17
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:50,000
So let's go to a bad one,
and make out.

18
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:58,500
Perhaps you'd like me to turn so you
can bunny-bump against my back?

19
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,000
- Hey, man. What's up?
- Maybe you can tell me.

20
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,700
My agent wants to know why I didn't
show up at my audition today...

21
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,100
... my first good one in weeks. How
could you not give me the message?

22
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,100
I'll tell you, I do enjoy guilt...

23
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,300
... but it wasn't me.

24
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:19,000
Yes, it was.
It was him!

25
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,500
Okay, it was me!

26
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,800
- How was it you?
- Well, it was all so crazy, you know?

27
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,800
Chandler was in the closet,
counting to 10...

28
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:33,100
... and I hadn't found a place
to hide yet.

29
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,600
I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all
down on my hand. See? All of it.

30
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,800
Yep, that's my audition.

31
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,800
See? Now, this is why I keep
notepads everywhere.

32
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,600
Yep. And that's why we don't
invite you to play.

33
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,300
What is the great tragedy here?
Get yourself another appointment.

34
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:54,300
Estelle tried. The casting director
told her I missed my chance.

35
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,700
Well, that is unfair!

36
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,500
I'll call her.
I'll tell her it was my fault.

37
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,500
You can't. The casting director
doesn't talk to friends.

38
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,800
- She only talks to agents.
- What a sad little life she must lead.

39
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,100
- What are you doing?
- No, I know, I know.

40
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,600
Hi, this is Caitlin
from Phoebe Buffay's office.

41
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:19,200
Is Anne there for Phoebe?

42
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,600
She'll know what it's about.

43
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,200
Hang up. Hang up right...

44
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,600
Annie? Hi. Listen, we've got
a problem with Joey Tribbiani.

45
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,200
Apparently, he missed his audition.
Who did you speak to in my office?

46
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,500
Estelle? I don't know
what to do with her.

47
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:38,800
So your husband leaves and burns down
the apartment. The world doesn't stop.

48
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,500
Is anybody else scared?

49
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:46,800
If Joey loses this audition, then
that is it for Estelle. I don't care!

50
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,400
Annie, you are a doll. What time can
you see him? I need a pen. Pen!

51
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,600
Get the woman a pad!
Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!

52
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,600
Oh, now you want a pad.

53
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,800
Hey!

54
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,800
Where's my boy?

55
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,000
Here's my boy!

56
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,100
And here's his Barbie!

57
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,000
What's my boy doing with a Barbie?

58
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,400
He picked it out at the store.
He loves it.

59
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,000
He carries it everywhere,
like a security blanket.

60
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,800
But with ski boots and a kicky beret.

61
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,900
Yeah, it's cute.

62
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,800
Why does he have it again?

63
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,100
So he's got a doll. So what?

64
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:46,000
Unless you're afraid
he's gonna grow up to be...

65
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,000
... in show business.

66
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,300
This wouldn't have
to do with the fact...

67
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,500
... that he's being raised
by two women?

68
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,800
You know what? It's fine. If you're
okay with the Barbie thing, so am I.

69
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:02,200
Give Daddy the Barbie.
Give me the Barbie.

70
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,600
Don't you wanna play
with a monster truck?

71
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,700
No? Okay.

72
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,900
How about a Dino-Soldier?

73
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,500
You are so pathetic.

74
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:21,100
Why can't your son
just play with his doll?

75
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,500
I gotta go to work.

76
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,900
Has anybody seen my left boob?

77
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,100
I loved that movie.

78
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,400
Here it is.
What are you doing?

79
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,100
I'm sorry. It just felt nice.

80
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,900
Answer the phone.

81
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,300
I only got one arm. You should
do stuff for me. Get me a sweater.

82
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:55,700
Just do it! It's Janice.

83
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,800
And if I get it, I'll have
to see her tonight.

84
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,900
That's great.
I'll have to see her tonight.

85
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,300
Why don't you want to see Janice?

86
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,400
Last night at dinner,
when the meals came...

87
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:12,300
... she put half her chicken piccata
on my plate and took all my tomatoes.

88
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,900
And that's bad...

89
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,600
... because you hate chicken piccata?

90
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,700
You didn't want to share your tomatoes.
Tomatoes are very important to you.

91
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,600
Suddenly, we were this "couple. "

92
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,200
And this alarm started going off
in my head.

93
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,800
"Run for your life!
Get out of the building!"

94
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,700
Men are unbelievable.

95
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,200
What is it with you people?

96
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:39,600
The minute you feel something,
you have to run away?

97
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,500
I know. That...

98
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:47,100
That's why I don't want to go tonight.
I'm afraid I'll say something stupid.

99
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,400
You mean that "guy thing" where
you act mean and distant...

100
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,200
... until we break up with you?

101
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,600
You know about that?

102
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:57,000
What do I do?
I wanna get past this.

103
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,500
I don't want to be afraid
of commitment.

104
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:02,900
I want to go through the tunnel
to the other side!

105
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,900
Where there's no fear of commitment.

106
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,300
Do we have any...

107
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,700
Do we have any thoughts here?

108
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,700
I've never been through
the tunnel myself because...

109
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,100
... you're not allowed through
with more than one girl in the car.

110
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:27,500
But it seems to me it's pretty much
like anything else. Face your fear.

111
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,600
Fear of heights?
Go to the top of the building.

112
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,800
You're afraid of bugs.

113
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,500
Get a bug.

114
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,900
You have a fear of commitment.

115
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,300
So I say you go in there and you be
the most committed guy there ever was!

116
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,700
Amazingly, that makes sense.

117
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,500
- Do you think?
- Oh, yeah! Go for it, man!

118
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:50,800
Jump off the high dive!

119
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:54,600
Stare down the barrel of the gun!
Pee into the wind!

120
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,600
If I'm staring down
the barrel of a gun...

121
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,900
... I'm gonna be pretty much
peeing every which way.

122
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:10,200
It's your audition from this morning!
Can I use the phone?

123
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:15,100
Sure, that's what it's there for.
Emergencies and pretend agents.

124
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,800
Come on, baby! Come on!

125
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:22,200
Hi. I have Phoebe Buffay
returning a page.

126
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,800
Okay, she's in her car.
I'll have to patch you through.

127
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,600
Very nice touch.

128
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,100
Okay, go ahead.

129
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,400
Talk, talk, talk!

130
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,400
Hi, Annie?

131
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,000
Fantastic. You got it!

132
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:44,200
Will he work for scale, you ask me?
Well, I don't know about that.

133
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,500
Except that I do and he will.

134
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,200
Great. Oh, you are such a sweetheart.

135
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:54,600
I would love to have lunch with you!
How about we have lunch next...

136
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:56,800
Went through a tunnel.

137
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,100
Unbelievable.

138
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,000
Oh, thank you so much!

139
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:04,500
It was really fun. I mean, I've never
talked on a car phone before.

140
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,000
You are so amazing!
Could you do me this huge favor?

141
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:11,500
There's another audition I want,
and Estelle couldn't get me in.

142
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,100
I don't know.
It was fun one time, but...

143
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,700
Please? It would just be
this one more.

144
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:19,600
- Well, actually it's two.
- Two?

145
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:25,500
Well, really it's three. Please?
You're so good at it. I love you.

146
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:29,300
- Okay. But just these three, right?
- No, it's four.

147
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,700
So how come you wanted
to eat in tonight?

148
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,500
Because I wanted...

149
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,600
... to give you this.

150
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:45,000
Are you a puppy!

151
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,800
Contact paper!

152
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,100
What do you say when someone
you're sleeping with...

153
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,900
... gives you contact paper?

154
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,900
Wait, there's more.
See, the contact paper is to go...

155
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,600
... in your brand new drawer!

156
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,900
See, the drawer actually
goes in my dresser.

157
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,900
- You didn't have to do this.
- Yes, I did.

158
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,600
Yes, I did.
Because you're my girlfriend...

159
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,700
... and that's what girlfriends
should get.

160
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,000
Well, I gotta buy a vowel...

161
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,100
... because, oh, my God!

162
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,600
Who would've thought that someday...

163
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,600
... Chandler Bing would buy me
a drawer?

164
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,900
Well, not me.

165
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,800
But that's what's happened.
And there's more.

166
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,500
We should take a trip.

167
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,000
We should?

168
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,900
We're a couple,
and that's what couples do.

169
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,400
And I wanna meet your parents.

170
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,500
We should take a trip
with your parents!

171
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:03,500
I don't think we need to because
you're tripping me out right now!

172
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,900
- Are you okay?
- No, I am.

173
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,300
I actually am! This is amazing.

174
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,700
My entire life, I have feared
this place.

175
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:15,100
And now that I'm here, it's like,
what was the big deal?

176
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,500
I could probably say, "Let's move in
together, " and I'd be okay.

177
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,200
You probably want us
to move in together?

178
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:25,200
- It doesn't scare me!
- Yeah, well it scares me!

179
00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:29,100
I'm not even divorced yet! You just
invited me over here for pasta...

180
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,300
... and now you're talking
about moving in together.

181
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,200
And I wasn't even that hungry.

182
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,600
You know what? It's getting really
late, and I should just...

183
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,400
Don't go! I've scared you!
I've said too much!

184
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:45,200
I'm hopeless and awkward
and desperate for love!

185
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,300
Hey, Janice, it's me.

186
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,900
I wanted to apologize in advance for
having chased you down the street.

187
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,000
Here you go, honey. This will help.

188
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,700
So I catch up to her
and she says...

189
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,300
... this relationship's going too fast
and we have to slow down.

190
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,200
That is never good.

191
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,500
Then I got all...

192
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,800
... needy and clingy.

193
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,300
Wait a minute. Maybe it's
not so bad. How did you leave it?

194
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,900
She said she'd call me.

195
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,300
Oh, God.

196
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:31,200
Welcome to our side of the tunnel.

197
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,500
This ice cream tastes like crap,
by the way.

198
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:38,000
Yeah, well, it's that
low-cal-nondairy-soymilk junk.

199
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,600
We save the real stuff
for the truly terminal cases.

200
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,900
When you're getting screwed over all
the time, you gotta switch to low fat.

201
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,900
Yeah, you do.

202
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,600
You don't think I'm terminal?

203
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,900
Not at all. You're not terminal.
We just need some damage control.

204
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,500
- Okay. Should I call her?
- No!

205
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:02,200
Very critical time. If you feel
yourself reaching for that phone...

206
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,800
... go shopping, get your butt
in a bubble bath.

207
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,400
If you want her back,
you have got to start acting aloof.

208
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,500
She needs to know you're not needy.

209
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:15,200
So what you have to do is accidentally
run into her on purpose...

210
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,300
... and then act aloof.

211
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,400
So I'm not gonna lose her?

212
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:24,000
Oh, honey, you're not a total loser.

213
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,800
I said, "So I'm not gonna lose her?"

214
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,200
Guess who's here!

215
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,200
It's the toughest guy in Toyland, Ben!

216
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,200
Real American hero
I'm G. I. Joe!

217
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,700
Drop the Barbie. Drop the Barbie.

218
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:51,300
G. I. Joe?
You really think he'll fall for that?

219
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,800
G. I. Joe?
Cool! Can I play?

220
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,900
Look, Ben! It's a toy that protects
U. S. Oil interests overseas!

221
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,300
Go, Joe!

222
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,600
Hello?

223
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,900
- There you are!
- No, it's not. Sorry.

224
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,700
But, Phoebe, wait, wait.
Phoebe!

225
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:14,000
Oh, Joey! Oh, okay!
See, I didn't recognize you...

226
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,600
... in those pants.

227
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,900
That TV movie I went in for, did you
hear anything? I think I got a shot.

228
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:23,900
Yes, they called!
You didn't get it!

229
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,200
Okay? I mean, you didn't get it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

230
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,800
That's okay. These things happen.

231
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,800
But they shouldn't happen.
You know what?

232
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,500
You're in a terrible,
terrible business.

233
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,700
I don't want to be the person
who makes you look like that.

234
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,700
I'm okay. See?

235
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,800
Now you're sad and creepy.

236
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,800
I'm sorry. I quit.

237
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:53,200
No, no, you can't quit!
You're the best agent I ever had.

238
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,900
Rejection is part of being an actor.
You can't take it personal.

239
00:14:57,100 --> 00:15:01,400
They said they'd never met an Italian
actor with a worse Italian accent.

240
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,500
They actually said that?

241
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:07,500
Oh, God, there's that face again.
See? I can't do this job!

242
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:11,100
This is why you have to do
this job! Agents always lie.

243
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:14,100
Estelle just says stuff like,
"They went another way. "

244
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,100
But this? I can use this.

245
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:19,100
I can work on a new accent.

246
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:23,100
Yeah, okay. If it
helps you, okay. Yeah.

247
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:26,900
You'll never get me, Joe!

248
00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,900
No, thank you.

249
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:46,900
- Chandler!
- Hello, Janice.

250
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,300
What are you doing here?

251
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,500
Just a bit of shopping.

252
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,000
How have you been?

253
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,500
Are you being British?

254
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,000
Not anymore.

255
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,100
Why are you shopping here?
You don't live in this neighborhood.

256
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,800
Were you here waiting for me?

257
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,500
I'm just...

258
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,500
... picking up some things for a party.

259
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,500
Barley?

260
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,300
What kind of party serves barley?

261
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,500
I'm sorry if my friends aren't
as sophisticated as yours.

262
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,400
- Where is this party?
- Here in Chelsea.

263
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,200
Whose party is it?

264
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,500
A woman's.

265
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:32,700
What woman?

266
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,200
Chelsea.

267
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,300
Either you're seeing somebody
behind my back...

268
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,100
... which would make you
the world's biggest jerk...

269
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,400
... or you're pretending
to see somebody...

270
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:49,100
... which makes you so pathetic
I could cry right here!

271
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,600
So which of these two guys
do you want to be?

272
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,300
Can I be that guy?

273
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:02,500
Okay, we got some more good
rejections. Lots of stuff to work on.

274
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,100
Okay. Shoot.

275
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,800
- Okay. Oh, the zoo commercial.
- I didn't get it?

276
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,300
No. They said that you
"weren't believable as a human being. "

277
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,100
So you can work on that.

278
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,100
Great.

279
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,500
What else?

280
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,500
The off-Broadway-play people said
that you were "pretty but dumb. "

281
00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:25,500
Oh, no wait. I'm sorry.
That's "pretty dumb. "

282
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,900
Look, it's okay, no, no, no.
Really.

283
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200
Look...

284
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,600
... I really appreciate this...

285
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,700
... but I'm gonna have to
go back to Estelle.

286
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,300
Don't get me wrong.
You're a better agent than she is...

287
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,200
... but at least with her, I don't want
to blow my pretty dumb brains out.

288
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,300
Yeah, no, I understand.

289
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,900
You do? Thanks. Okay.

290
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,200
Sorry.

291
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:52,900
Wait a minute.

292
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,400
Wait a minute.

293
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,800
Did you make all that stuff up
to get out of being my agent?

294
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,400
Oh, he caught me.

295
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,300
I am so busted!

296
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,600
That's what I suspected!

297
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:11,900
And then I just, you know...

298
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,900
... threw the bag of barley at her
and ran out of the store.

299
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:20,100
My God, Chandler, we said be "aloof, "
not "a doof. "

300
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,400
I've actually ruined this, haven't I?

301
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:28,300
Is it time for the good ice cream now?

302
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,900
- It's time.
- Yeah, it is.

303
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,000
Everything's gonna be okay.

304
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,200
Hello? Hi, Janice.

305
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,800
Can you hold on for a second?
Okay.

306
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,000
Okay. What do I do?

307
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,000
I don't know.
This is unprecedented.

308
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,300
If we did what you did,
a man would never call.

309
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,300
I got it! Pretend you just woke up.
That'll throw her off!

310
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,800
- Be sleepy!
- Yes! And grumpy!

311
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,500
What are you... ?
Stop naming dwarfs!

312
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,300
Hello, Janice? Hi.

313
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:06,000
I'm so glad that you called.

314
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:11,400
I know I've been acting
really weird lately...

315
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,600
... and it's just because
I'm crazy about you...

316
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:22,300
... and I just got stupid and scared...

317
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,400
... and stupid a couple more times.

318
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:26,400
And I'm sorry.

319
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:28,900
Really?

320
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:31,900
Really?

321
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,200
He's so lucky.
If Janice were a guy...

322
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,400
... she'd be sleeping
with somebody else by now.

323
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,700
I love you too.

324
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,500
It's so unfair!

325
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,200
G. I. Joe? G. I. Joe?!

326
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:56,300
I don't know what to tell you guys.
That's the doll he chose.

327
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,000
What'd you do, dip it in sugar?

328
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,300
Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbie's out.

329
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:05,300
And if you guys can't deal with it,
that's just your too bad.

330
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,500
What are you being such a weenie for?
So he has a Barbie. Big deal.

331
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,900
You used to dress up like a woman.

332
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,300
What?

333
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,800
The way you used to dress up
in Mom's clothes?

334
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,600
What are you talking about?

335
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:28,000
The big hat, the pearls,
the little pink handbag?

336
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,500
Okay. You are totally
making this up.

337
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,600
How can you not remember?

338
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,800
You made us call you "Bea"?

339
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:43,100
Oh, God.

340
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,700
I've literally never been this happy.

341
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Wasn't there a little song?

342
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:51,500
Oh, please, God,
let there be a song.

343
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,700
There was no song.
There was no song.

344
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,300
- I am Bea
- Okay.

345
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,300
- I drink tea...
- That's enough.

346
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,900
Won't you... ?

347
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,200
Won't you... ?

348
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,600
Won't you... ?

349
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:07,500
Won't you dance around with me?

350
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,400
I am Bea

351
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,200
I drink tea

352
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:23,600
Won't you dance around with... ?

353
00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:31,800
Ross!

 
 
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