1
00:00:07,416 --> 00:00:10,055
This is unbelievable!
It's been half an hour.
2
00:00:10,256 --> 00:00:13,612
If this was a cartoon,
you'd look like a ham about now.
3
00:00:13,816 --> 00:00:15,647
There's the waitress.
Excuse me!
4
00:00:15,856 --> 00:00:18,211
-Hello, miss?
-It's Phoebe!
5
00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:22,655
Okay, will that be all?
6
00:00:23,496 --> 00:00:25,691
Wait, wait.
What are you doing here?
7
00:00:26,056 --> 00:00:27,125
I was over there. . .
8
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:29,890
. . .then you said, ''Excuse me, miss. ''
So now I'm here.
9
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:32,766
How come you're working here?
10
00:00:33,096 --> 00:00:36,930
Because it's close to where I live,
and the aprons are really cute.
11
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:38,451
Can we start over?
12
00:00:38,656 --> 00:00:41,011
Okay, great.
I'm gonna be over here.
13
00:00:41,576 --> 00:00:43,373
The One With the Two Parts - Part I
14
00:00:44,656 --> 00:00:45,645
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
15
00:01:29,136 --> 00:01:31,889
I don't know if he's testing me
or just acting out. . .
16
00:01:32,096 --> 00:01:34,610
. . .but my monkey is out of control!
17
00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:39,613
He keeps erasing
the messages on my machine.
18
00:01:39,856 --> 00:01:42,006
Supposedly by accident.
19
00:01:42,656 --> 00:01:44,248
Yeah, I've done that.
20
00:01:47,416 --> 00:01:50,852
And three days in a row, he got
to the newspaper before I did. . .
21
00:01:51,096 --> 00:01:53,212
. . .and peed all over the crossword!
22
00:01:53,816 --> 00:01:55,727
I've never done that.
23
00:01:56,856 --> 00:01:59,734
Now tell me she doesn't look
exactly like her sister.
24
00:02:00,256 --> 00:02:02,247
I'm saying I see a difference.
25
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,605
They're twins.
26
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:07,246
I don't care.
Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
27
00:02:08,776 --> 00:02:11,415
You know that thing
when we talk about things?
28
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:13,408
Let's not do that anymore.
29
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,446
Hey, Pheebs.
Guess who we saw today?
30
00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:20,245
Oh, fun!
31
00:02:20,776 --> 00:02:22,050
-Liam Neeson.
-No.
32
00:02:22,256 --> 00:02:23,655
Morley Safer.
33
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,454
The woman who cuts my hair!
34
00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:27,652
This could be a really long game.
35
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:29,045
Your sister, Ursula.
36
00:02:29,456 --> 00:02:30,650
Oh, really?
37
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,534
She works at that place. . . .
38
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,805
Riff's. Yeah, I know.
39
00:02:34,056 --> 00:02:36,695
You do? She said you guys
haven't talked in years.
40
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:42,806
So is she fat?
41
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:47,012
Not from where I was standing.
42
00:02:47,576 --> 00:02:48,929
Where were you standing?
43
00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:54,614
Pheebs, so you guys
just don't get along?
44
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,610
It's mostly just dumb
sister stuff, you know?
45
00:02:57,856 --> 00:03:00,893
Everyone always thought of her
as the pretty one.
46
00:03:02,696 --> 00:03:04,334
She was the first to walk. . .
47
00:03:04,576 --> 00:03:07,329
. . .even though I did it
later that same day.
48
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:12,605
To my parents, by then it was,
''Yeah, what else is new?''
49
00:03:14,256 --> 00:03:17,054
I'm sorry. I've gotta go.
I've got Lamaze class.
50
00:03:17,256 --> 00:03:20,407
And I've got earth science,
but I'll catch you in gym?
51
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,407
Is this just gonna be you and Carol?
52
00:03:25,656 --> 00:03:27,248
Susan will be there too.
53
00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:31,614
We've got dads, we've got lesbians.
The whole parenting team.
54
00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:33,894
Isn't that gonna be weird?
55
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,133
It might have been at first. . .
56
00:03:36,376 --> 00:03:38,810
. . .but now I'm comfortable
with the situation.
57
00:03:39,056 --> 00:03:39,966
That's my jacket.
58
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,211
I know.
59
00:03:49,976 --> 00:03:51,204
We're the Rostens.
60
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:54,055
I'm J.C. and he's Michael.
61
00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:57,174
And we're having a boy and a girl.
62
00:03:58,096 --> 00:04:00,405
Good for you!
Alrighty, next?
63
00:04:04,096 --> 00:04:05,415
I'm Ross Geller.
64
00:04:05,776 --> 00:04:07,846
And that's my boy in there.
65
00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:12,612
And this is Carol Willick,
and this is Susan Bunch.
66
00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:16,615
Susan is Carol's. . . .
67
00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:23,010
Who's next?
68
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,284
Sorry, Susan is. . .?
69
00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:28,566
-Susan is Carol's friend.
-Life partner.
70
00:04:28,776 --> 00:04:30,414
Like buddies.
71
00:04:31,136 --> 00:04:32,012
Like lovers.
72
00:04:32,496 --> 00:04:34,612
You know how close women can get.
73
00:04:36,096 --> 00:04:38,246
-Susan and I live together.
-I was married to her.
74
00:04:38,456 --> 00:04:41,050
-Carol, not me.
-It's a little complicated.
75
00:04:41,256 --> 00:04:42,575
-But we're fine.
-Absolutely.
76
00:04:44,496 --> 00:04:45,815
So, twins!
77
00:04:46,096 --> 00:04:47,324
That's like two birds.
78
00:04:57,976 --> 00:04:59,614
--to you too, Helen!
79
00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:02,850
Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
80
00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:05,007
Okay, send her in.
81
00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:13,414
-Come on in.
-You wanted to see me?
82
00:05:13,736 --> 00:05:15,454
I was just going over your data.
83
00:05:15,656 --> 00:05:18,011
You've been postdating
your Friday numbers.
84
00:05:18,296 --> 00:05:20,173
Which is bad, because. . .?
85
00:05:20,376 --> 00:05:22,173
It throws my WENUS out of whack.
86
00:05:23,496 --> 00:05:24,292
Excuse me?
87
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,125
WENUS.
88
00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:28,446
Weekly Estimated
Net Usage Statistics.
89
00:05:28,656 --> 00:05:30,453
Right. Gotcha, gotcha.
90
00:05:30,656 --> 00:05:34,410
Won't happen again. I wouldn't
want to do anything to hurt your. . .
91
00:05:34,616 --> 00:05:35,685
. . .WENUS.
92
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,013
It's not just that she's cute, okay?
It's just that. . .
93
00:05:49,256 --> 00:05:51,406
. . .she's really, really cute.
94
00:05:51,856 --> 00:05:55,815
It doesn't matter. You don't dip
your pen in the company ink.
95
00:05:58,656 --> 00:05:59,611
Ross.
96
00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:02,205
Your little creature's
got the remote again.
97
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:05,890
Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
98
00:06:07,296 --> 00:06:08,285
Marcel!
99
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:12,613
Marcel, you give Rossy
the remote right now!
100
00:06:16,096 --> 00:06:18,052
You give Rossy the remote--
101
00:06:18,616 --> 00:06:21,005
-Great.
-Relax. I'll fix it.
102
00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:24,086
Oh, cool.
103
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:25,246
Urkel. . .
104
00:06:25,496 --> 00:06:28,010
. . .in Spanish is Urkel.
105
00:06:30,096 --> 00:06:32,007
How did he do this?
106
00:06:33,016 --> 00:06:35,166
Is leaving the Christmas lights up. . .
107
00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:37,844
. . .your plan to keep us
merry all year long?
108
00:06:38,056 --> 00:06:41,128
Someone was supposed to take
them down around New Year's. . .
109
00:06:41,376 --> 00:06:43,048
. . .but obviously someone forgot!
110
00:06:43,656 --> 00:06:45,851
Someone was supposed to write:
111
00:06:46,056 --> 00:06:49,810
''Rach, take down the lights''
and put it on the refrigera--
112
00:06:52,016 --> 00:06:53,813
How long has that been there?
113
00:06:55,496 --> 00:06:56,292
Where you been?
114
00:06:56,856 --> 00:07:00,246
Riff's. I think Ursula likes me.
All I ordered was coffee.
115
00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:04,011
She brought me a tuna melt
and four plates of curly fries.
116
00:07:06,056 --> 00:07:07,205
Score.
117
00:07:08,816 --> 00:07:11,205
She is so hot!
118
00:07:11,416 --> 00:07:13,850
Okay, before you do
anything Joey-like. . .
119
00:07:14,096 --> 00:07:16,246
. . .you might want to run it by. . . .
120
00:07:19,176 --> 00:07:20,165
Pheebs?
121
00:07:21,456 --> 00:07:23,731
Would it be okay
if I asked out your sister?
122
00:07:24,096 --> 00:07:27,008
Why? Why would you
want to do that? Why?
123
00:07:28,216 --> 00:07:31,094
So that if we went out on a date,
she'd be there.
124
00:07:36,296 --> 00:07:39,129
Well, I mean, I'm not
my sister's, you know. . .
125
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,604
. . .whatever.
126
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:45,408
And I mean, it's true,
we were one egg once.
127
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,610
But, you know,
we've grown apart, so. . . .
128
00:07:48,856 --> 00:07:50,494
I don't know. Why not?
129
00:07:50,856 --> 00:07:52,050
Cool. Thanks.
130
00:07:55,616 --> 00:07:56,731
You okay?
131
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,409
Yeah, I'm fine.
132
00:07:59,096 --> 00:08:01,610
Do you wanna watch
Laverne y Shirley?
133
00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:17,411
Sorry.
134
00:08:19,096 --> 00:08:21,246
Sorry I'm late.
Where's Carol?
135
00:08:21,496 --> 00:08:24,533
Stuck at school.
Some parent-teacher thing.
136
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:27,290
You can go.
I'll get the information.
137
00:08:28,096 --> 00:08:32,487
No, I think I should stay.
We should both know what's going on.
138
00:08:32,696 --> 00:08:33,845
Oh, good.
139
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,449
This will be fun.
140
00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:39,968
We're gonna start with some basic
third-stage breathing exercises.
141
00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:41,848
Mommies, get on your back.
142
00:08:42,096 --> 00:08:45,805
And, coaches, you should be
supporting Mommy's head.
143
00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:53,451
-What?
-What?
144
00:08:53,696 --> 00:08:55,334
I'm supposed to be the mommy?
145
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:58,812
Okay, I'm gonna play
my sperm card one more time.
146
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:04,291
I have to miss out on the coaching
training because I'm a woman?
147
00:09:04,496 --> 00:09:06,214
So what do you propose to do?
148
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:08,606
-I'll flip you for it.
-Flip me for it?
149
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,295
Heads, heads, heads!
150
00:09:10,896 --> 00:09:12,852
On your back, Mom!
151
00:09:16,696 --> 00:09:20,609
All right, Mommies, take
a nice, deep, cleansing breath.
152
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:24,892
Good.
153
00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:27,894
Now imagine your vagina is opening. . .
154
00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:30,007
. . .like a flower.
155
00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:42,287
Mr. Dee! How's it going, sir?
156
00:09:42,496 --> 00:09:43,724
It's been better.
157
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:46,685
The Annual Net Usage
Statistics are in.
158
00:09:48,016 --> 00:09:49,415
It's pretty ugly.
159
00:09:49,616 --> 00:09:52,813
We haven't seen an ANUS
this bad since the '70s.
160
00:09:54,096 --> 00:09:54,926
What's it mean?
161
00:09:55,496 --> 00:09:57,532
We'll be laying off people.
162
00:09:57,976 --> 00:10:01,571
I know I was late last week.
I slept funny and my hair was snarly.
163
00:10:01,776 --> 00:10:03,004
Not you.
164
00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:04,815
Relax.
165
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,414
Ever have to fire anyone?
166
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:10,886
Nina. . . .
167
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:14,051
Nina.
168
00:10:20,936 --> 00:10:21,766
Are you okay?
169
00:10:23,496 --> 00:10:25,293
Yes. Yes, I am.
170
00:10:26,896 --> 00:10:30,605
Listen, the reason that
I called you in here today was. . . .
171
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,615
Please don't hate me.
172
00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:34,212
What?
173
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,566
Would you like
to have dinner sometime?
174
00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:46,005
So, what do you want
for your birthday?
175
00:10:46,496 --> 00:10:50,535
What I really want is for my mom
to be alive and enjoy it with me.
176
00:10:56,416 --> 00:10:59,408
Let me put it this way.
Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?
177
00:10:59,616 --> 00:11:01,254
Bath salts would be nice!
178
00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:02,406
Good.
179
00:11:10,816 --> 00:11:12,249
What is this place?
180
00:11:12,496 --> 00:11:15,056
You're cold, I have to pee,
and there's coffee.
181
00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:17,008
How bad could it be?
182
00:11:17,296 --> 00:11:19,207
I think we have an answer.
183
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:22,005
What's she doing here?
184
00:11:22,256 --> 00:11:25,407
This could be God's way
of telling us to eat at home.
185
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:29,770
-Think she got fired at Riff's?
-No, we were there last night.
186
00:11:29,976 --> 00:11:32,536
She kept bringing swordfish.
Are you gonna go. . .?
187
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,846
I'll wait until we order.
It's her, right?
188
00:11:35,096 --> 00:11:37,451
It looks like her.
189
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,408
Excuse me?
190
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:41,495
Hi, it's us!
191
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,207
Right. And it's me!
192
00:11:49,496 --> 00:11:51,088
So you're here too?
193
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:53,214
As much as you are.
194
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:54,811
Your turn.
195
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:56,931
We know what we want.
196
00:11:57,296 --> 00:11:58,206
That's good.
197
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:01,844
-Two caffe lattes.
-And some biscotti cookies.
198
00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:03,604
Good choice.
199
00:12:07,696 --> 00:12:09,209
It's definitely her.
200
00:12:18,736 --> 00:12:19,851
I can't believe you.
201
00:12:20,096 --> 00:12:23,054
You still haven't told that girl
she doesn't have a job?
202
00:12:23,856 --> 00:12:26,609
You still haven't taken down
the Christmas lights.
203
00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:31,132
Congratulations! I think you found
the world's thinnest argument.
204
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:33,653
Trying to find the right moment.
205
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:36,808
That shouldn't be so hard,
now that you're dating.
206
00:12:38,176 --> 00:12:42,328
''Sweetheart, you're fired. But how
about a quickie before I go to work?''
207
00:12:49,696 --> 00:12:52,813
Once you're inside,
you don't have to knock anymore.
208
00:12:54,056 --> 00:12:55,409
I'll get it.
209
00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:00,408
Hi, Mr. Heckles.
210
00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:01,965
You're doing it again.
211
00:13:02,176 --> 00:13:03,609
We're not doing anything.
212
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:06,808
We're just sitting around
talking quietly.
213
00:13:07,096 --> 00:13:09,007
I can hear you through the ceiling.
214
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,812
My cats can't sleep.
215
00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:16,094
You don't even have cats.
216
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,127
I could have cats.
217
00:13:19,616 --> 00:13:20,765
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles.
218
00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:23,410
We'll try to keep it down.
219
00:13:27,496 --> 00:13:30,010
Phoebe, can you do me a favor?
220
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,173
Try this on to make sure it fits.
221
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:36,130
My first birthday present!
Oh, this is really--
222
00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:39,448
It's for Ursula.
I just figured, you know, size-wise.
223
00:13:42,296 --> 00:13:43,570
Sure. Yeah.
224
00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:45,095
Okay, it fits.
225
00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:48,525
Are you seeing her again?
226
00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:50,852
Yep, Ice Capades.
227
00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:52,251
This is serious.
228
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,607
I've never known you to pay money
for any kind of ''capade. ''
229
00:13:57,776 --> 00:13:59,448
I don't know. I like her.
230
00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:02,893
She's different.
There's something about her--
231
00:14:03,096 --> 00:14:05,291
That you like.
We get it. You like her.
232
00:14:07,176 --> 00:14:09,644
Phoebe, I asked you
and you said it was okay.
233
00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:11,687
Well, maybe now it's not okay.
234
00:14:13,976 --> 00:14:17,207
Well, maybe now I'm not okay
with it not being okay.
235
00:14:22,656 --> 00:14:24,248
Knit, good woman.
Knit! Knit!
236
00:14:37,096 --> 00:14:39,815
And that's the Chrysler Building
right there.
237
00:14:41,496 --> 00:14:43,009
Mr. Douglas.
238
00:14:43,496 --> 00:14:44,485
Cool tie.
239
00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:48,806
She's still here.
240
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,606
Yes. Yes, she is.
241
00:14:52,096 --> 00:14:53,324
Didn't I memo you?
242
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:58,252
After I let her go, I got a call
from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen. . .
243
00:14:58,496 --> 00:14:59,975
. . .Dr. Flanan, Dr. Flan.
244
00:15:02,256 --> 00:15:05,214
And he informed me that
she took the news rather badly.
245
00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:08,055
In fact, he mentioned
the word ''frenzy. ''
246
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,250
She seems so. . . .
247
00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:12,208
Oh, no, no.
Nina? She's. . . .
248
00:15:14,176 --> 00:15:16,212
In fact, if you asked her now. . .
249
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,214
. . .she'd have no recollection
of being fired at all.
250
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:21,571
That's unbelievable.
251
00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:23,368
And yet believable.
252
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,012
So I decided not to fire her again. . .
253
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,447
. . .until I'm sure she will be
of no threat to herself or others.
254
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:34,414
I see. You never really know what's
going on inside a person's head.
255
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,412
Well, I guess that's why
they call it psychology, sir.
256
00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:44,014
The sound Mom and Dad
will never forget.
257
00:15:44,216 --> 00:15:47,333
For this, after all,
is the miracle of birth.
258
00:15:47,576 --> 00:15:48,804
Lights, please.
259
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:50,455
And that's having a baby.
260
00:15:50,696 --> 00:15:52,812
Next week is our final class.
261
00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,809
Susan, go deep.
262
00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:02,806
It's impossible.
It's just impossible.
263
00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:04,051
What is, honey?
264
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,048
What that woman. . .
265
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,245
. . .did.
266
00:16:08,256 --> 00:16:10,816
I am not doing that!
267
00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:14,048
It'll have to stay in, that's all.
Everything will be the same.
268
00:16:14,296 --> 00:16:17,174
-It'll just stay in.
-Carol, honey.
269
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,936
-Everything will be all right.
-What do you know?
270
00:16:20,136 --> 00:16:22,855
No one's saying to you,
''Hi, is that your nostril?
271
00:16:23,096 --> 00:16:25,485
Mind if we push
this pot roast through it?! ''
272
00:16:26,696 --> 00:16:28,209
Carol, sweetie.
273
00:16:28,456 --> 00:16:29,809
Cleansing breath.
274
00:16:31,096 --> 00:16:34,054
I know it's frightening.
But big picture:
275
00:16:34,296 --> 00:16:36,571
The birth part is just one day. . .
276
00:16:36,976 --> 00:16:40,969
. . .and when it's over, we'll all
be parents for the rest of our lives.
277
00:16:41,576 --> 00:16:44,010
I mean, that's what
this is all about, right?
278
00:16:44,256 --> 00:16:45,245
Ross?
279
00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:47,332
Ross.
280
00:16:48,096 --> 00:16:49,973
I'm gonna be a father.
281
00:16:51,096 --> 00:16:54,247
-This is just occurring to you?
-I knew I was having a baby.
282
00:16:54,456 --> 00:16:57,607
I just never realized
the baby was having me.
283
00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,847
You're gonna be great.
284
00:17:00,096 --> 00:17:01,415
How could you say that?
285
00:17:01,616 --> 00:17:04,608
I can't even get Marcel
to stop eating the bathmat.
286
00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:06,615
How will I raise a kid?
287
00:17:07,096 --> 00:17:09,246
You know, some scientists
are now saying. . .
288
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:12,408
. . .that monkeys and babies
are actually different.
289
00:17:15,656 --> 00:17:16,805
-Where are you going?
-Out.
290
00:17:17,056 --> 00:17:18,409
With. . .?
291
00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:22,134
Can I just ask you one question?
292
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,409
Have you two, you know,
like, you know?
293
00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:29,011
You know?
294
00:17:29,976 --> 00:17:30,931
Yet?
295
00:17:31,776 --> 00:17:33,653
Not that it's any
of your business. . .
296
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,534
. . .but no, we haven't.
297
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,007
You meant sex, right?
298
00:17:51,176 --> 00:17:53,849
-Do you have a sec?
-Sure, Nina. What's up?
299
00:17:54,416 --> 00:17:57,488
For the past few days,
people have been avoiding me. . .
300
00:17:57,696 --> 00:17:59,573
. . .and giving me strange looks.
301
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,011
Oh, well, maybe that's because. . .
302
00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:05,735
. . .they're jealous of us.
303
00:18:06,096 --> 00:18:07,370
Maybe.
304
00:18:07,576 --> 00:18:10,613
But that doesn't explain why
they keep taking my scissors.
305
00:18:11,496 --> 00:18:15,171
Well, maybe that's because
you're getting a big raise!
306
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,487
-I am?
-Sure. Why not?
307
00:18:18,776 --> 00:18:21,609
Oh, my God!
You're amazing!
308
00:18:22,176 --> 00:18:24,007
Oh, you don't know.
309
00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:28,132
Helen, make sure we do the paperwork
on Miss Bookbinder's raise.
310
00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:32,615
You still want me to send her
psychological profile to personnel?
311
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,209
Helen drinks.
312
00:18:35,896 --> 00:18:37,614
Will you marry me?
313
00:18:43,936 --> 00:18:46,655
-I ended up telling her everything.
-How'd she take it?
314
00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:49,809
Pretty well.
Except for the stapler thing.
315
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,174
Little tip. If you're ever
in a similar situation. . .
316
00:18:53,376 --> 00:18:56,015
. . .never, ever leave
your hand on the desk.
317
00:18:57,176 --> 00:19:00,009
Okay, I think I get how to do this.
318
00:19:05,096 --> 00:19:07,610
Can we turn this off?
Can we make them go away?
319
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,608
Because I can't watch.
320
00:19:09,976 --> 00:19:10,806
They're gone.
321
00:19:12,336 --> 00:19:13,974
Are you all right?
322
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:17,930
Yeah. It's just this whole
stupid Ursula thing.
323
00:19:18,296 --> 00:19:19,649
Okay, can I ask. . .?
324
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:23,013
So he's going out with her.
Is it really so terrible?
325
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:24,526
Yeah.
326
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:29,253
I mean, I'm not saying
she's evil or anything.
327
00:19:29,496 --> 00:19:32,215
She's just, you know,
always breaking my stuff.
328
00:19:33,096 --> 00:19:36,247
When I was 8, I wouldn't let her
have my Judy Jetson thermos. . .
329
00:19:36,456 --> 00:19:38,412
. . .so she threw it under the bus.
330
00:19:39,296 --> 00:19:41,014
And then there's Randy Brown. . .
331
00:19:41,216 --> 00:19:42,615
. . .who was like. . . .
332
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,854
Have you ever had a boyfriend
who was your best friend?
333
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,851
Well, but that's what he was for me.
334
00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:54,445
And she, you know,
kind of stole him away. . .
335
00:19:54,696 --> 00:19:57,415
. . .and then broke his heart.
336
00:19:58,216 --> 00:20:00,730
And then he wouldn't
even talk to me anymore.
337
00:20:00,976 --> 00:20:05,049
He didn't want to be around anything
that looked like either one of us.
338
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:12,809
I mean, I know Joey's not
my boyfriend or my thermos. . .
339
00:20:13,856 --> 00:20:15,209
. . .or anything, but. . . .
340
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:18,095
-You won't lose him.
-You gotta talk to Joey.
341
00:20:18,696 --> 00:20:19,572
Yeah, okay.
342
00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:22,768
He doesn't know this stuff.
If he knew how you felt. . . .
343
00:20:22,976 --> 00:20:24,534
He's falling in love with her.
344
00:20:24,736 --> 00:20:26,647
They've been going out a week.
345
00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:31,014
They haven't even slept together yet.
I mean, that's not serious.
346
00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:58,809
May we help you?
347
00:21:13,656 --> 00:21:16,853
What are you doing? It's freezing!
Would you come inside?
348
00:21:17,056 --> 00:21:18,808
No, no, no.
349
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,610
You wanted me to take them down. . .
350
00:21:21,816 --> 00:21:24,284
. . .so I'm taking them down, okay?
351
00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:28,726
Rachel!
352
00:21:28,976 --> 00:21:31,012
I'm okay. I'm okay.
353
00:21:32,096 --> 00:21:33,290
Mr. Heckles?
354
00:21:34,176 --> 00:21:36,815
Mr. Heckles,
could you help me, please?
355
00:21:37,936 --> 00:21:41,008
This is just the kind of thing
I was talking about.
|
1
00:00:07,416 --> 00:00:10,055
Невероятно!
Ждем уже полчаса!
2
00:00:10,256 --> 00:00:13,612
В мультике тебя бы уже показали
куском ветчины.
3
00:00:13,816 --> 00:00:15,647
А вот и официантка.
Простите!
4
00:00:15,856 --> 00:00:18,211
- Извините, мисс?
- Это Фиби!
5
00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:22,655
Хорошо, это все?
6
00:00:23,496 --> 00:00:25,691
Подожди, подожди.
Что ты здесь делаешь?
7
00:00:26,056 --> 00:00:27,125
Я была там...
8
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:29,890
... потом вы сказали: "Извините, мисс".
Поэтому теперь я здесь.
9
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:32,766
А как вышло, что ты работаешь здесь?
10
00:00:33,096 --> 00:00:36,930
Потому что я живу рядом,
да и фартучки тут очень красивые.
11
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:38,451
Может, начнем сначала?
12
00:00:38,656 --> 00:00:41,011
Хорошо, ладно.
Я буду вон там.
13
00:00:41,576 --> 00:00:43,373
Эпизод из двух частей - часть 1
14
00:01:29,136 --> 00:01:31,889
Я не знаю, испытывает ли он меня или просто притворяется...
15
00:01:32,096 --> 00:01:34,610
... но моя обезьянка вышла из-под контроля!
16
00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:39,613
Он стирает сообщения на автоответчике.
17
00:01:39,856 --> 00:01:42,006
Якобы случайно.
18
00:01:42,656 --> 00:01:44,248
Нет, то есть да, я так и делала.
19
00:01:47,416 --> 00:01:50,852
И три дня подряд он добирается до газеты раньше
меня..
20
00:01:51,096 --> 00:01:53,212
... и писает точно на кроссворд!
21
00:01:53,816 --> 00:01:55,727
Такого я не делала.
22
00:01:56,856 --> 00:01:59,734
И теперь скажи мне, что они с ней - не две капли
воды.
23
00:02:00,256 --> 00:02:02,247
Я говорю, что вижу разницу.
24
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,605
Да они близняшки!
25
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:07,246
Неважно.
Фиби - это Фиби. Урсула - это горячая штучка.
26
00:02:08,776 --> 00:02:11,415
Знаешь, вот иногда мы говорим о некоторых вещах?
27
00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:13,408
Давай больше не будем.
28
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,446
Привет, Фибс.
Угадай, кого мы сегодня видели?
29
00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:20,245
О, прикольно!
30
00:02:20,776 --> 00:02:22,050
- Лиама Нисона.
- Нет.
31
00:02:22,256 --> 00:02:23,655
Морли Сэйфера.
32
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,454
Девушку, которая меня стрижет!
33
00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:27,652
Да-а, эта игра может долго продолжаться.
34
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:29,045
Твою сестру Урсулу.
35
00:02:29,456 --> 00:02:30,650
Правда, что ли?
36
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,534
Она работает в кафе...
37
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,805
"Рифф". Ага, я знаю.
38
00:02:34,056 --> 00:02:36,695
Знаешь? Она сказала, что вы уже много лет не общаетесь.
39
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:42,806
Ну и как, она толстая?
40
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:47,012
С места, где стоял я, так не показалось.
41
00:02:47,576 --> 00:02:48,929
А где ты стоял?
42
00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:54,614
Фибс, значит вы просто не ладите?
43
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,610
В основном, это все глупости между сестрами, понимаешь?
44
00:02:57,856 --> 00:03:00,893
Все всегда считали хорошенькой именно ее.
45
00:03:02,696 --> 00:03:04,334
Она первая начала ходить...
46
00:03:04,576 --> 00:03:07,329
... хотя я тоже пошла позже в тот же день.
47
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:12,605
А для родителей это было типа: "Хорошо, а
что еще нового?"
48
00:03:14,256 --> 00:03:17,054
Прости. Мне пора.
У меня урок по методике Ламаза.
49
00:03:17,256 --> 00:03:20,407
А у меня занятие по геофизике,
так что увидимся в спортзале?
50
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:25,407
Там будешь только ты и Кэрол?
51
00:03:25,656 --> 00:03:27,248
Сьюзан тоже будет.
52
00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:31,614
У нас папы, у нас лесбиянки.
Целая родительская команда.
53
00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:33,894
А это не будет как-то странно?
54
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,133
Сначала я так и думал...
55
00:03:36,376 --> 00:03:38,810
... но теперь я совершенно спокоен.
56
00:03:39,056 --> 00:03:39,966
Это мой пиджак.
57
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,211
Я знаю.
58
00:03:49,976 --> 00:03:51,204
Мы - Ростены.
59
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:54,055
Меня зовут Джей Си, а это - Майкл.
60
00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:57,174
И у нас будет мальчик и девочка.
61
00:03:58,096 --> 00:04:00,405
Здорово!
Хорошо, следующие?
62
00:04:04,096 --> 00:04:05,415
Меня зовут Росс Геллер.
63
00:04:05,776 --> 00:04:07,846
И вот тут - мой сын.
64
00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:12,612
Это - Кэрол Виллик,
а это - Сьюзан Банч.
65
00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:16,615
Сьюзан, Кэрол, они... эээ...
66
00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:23,010
Кто следующий?
67
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,284
Простите, Сьюзан - она...?
68
00:04:26,496 --> 00:04:28,566
- Она подруга Кэрол.
- Спутница жизни.
69
00:04:28,776 --> 00:04:30,414
Как приятели.
70
00:04:31,136 --> 00:04:32,012
Как любовники.
71
00:04:32,496 --> 00:04:34,612
Вы же понимаете, как девушки могут сблизиться.
72
00:04:36,096 --> 00:04:38,246
- Мы с Сьюзан живем вместе.
- Я был женат на ней.
73
00:04:38,456 --> 00:04:41,050
- На Кэрол, не на мне.
- Все не так просто.
74
00:04:41,256 --> 00:04:42,575
- Но у нас все в порядке.
- Абсолютно.
75
00:04:44,496 --> 00:04:45,815
Близнецы, говорите?
76
00:04:46,096 --> 00:04:47,324
Это как два раза рожать.
77
00:04:57,976 --> 00:04:59,614
-- вам тоже, Хелен!
78
00:05:00,416 --> 00:05:02,850
К Вам Нина Букбайндер.
79
00:05:03,096 --> 00:05:05,007
Хорошо, пусть заходит.
80
00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:13,414
- Заходи.
- Вы хотели меня видеть?
81
00:05:13,736 --> 00:05:15,454
Я тут просматривал твои данные.
82
00:05:15,656 --> 00:05:18,011
Данные за пятницу датированы более поздним числом.
83
00:05:18,296 --> 00:05:20,173
И это плохо, потому что...?
84
00:05:20,376 --> 00:05:22,173
Это сильно бьет по моему ЧЛЕНу.
85
00:05:23,496 --> 00:05:24,292
Простите?
86
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,125
ЧЛЕН
87
00:05:26,376 --> 00:05:28,446
Частотность локальных еженедельных недостач.
88
00:05:28,656 --> 00:05:30,453
Да-да, поняла.
89
00:05:30,656 --> 00:05:34,410
Такого больше не случится. Я никоим образом не
хочу испортить ваш...
90
00:05:34,616 --> 00:05:35,685
...ЧЛЕН.
91
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,013
Дело не в том, что она хорошенькая, ясно?
Дело в том...
92
00:05:49,256 --> 00:05:51,406
... что она очень-очень хорошенькая.
93
00:05:51,856 --> 00:05:55,815
Неважно. Нельзя совать свое
перышко в чернила компании.
94
00:05:58,656 --> 00:05:59,611
Росс.
95
00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:02,205
Твой зверек опять взял пульт.
96
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:05,890
Марсель, отдай пульт Росси.
97
00:06:07,296 --> 00:06:08,285
Марсель!
98
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:12,613
Марсель, отдай Росси пульт немедленно!
99
00:06:16,096 --> 00:06:18,052
Отдай Росси пульт...
100
00:06:18,616 --> 00:06:21,005
- Здорово.
- Да ладно тебе. Я исправлю.
101
00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:24,086
Ух ты, здорово.
102
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:25,246
Уркел...
103
00:06:25,496 --> 00:06:28,010
... по-испански - Уркел.
104
00:06:30,096 --> 00:06:32,007
Как он это сделал?
105
00:06:33,016 --> 00:06:35,166
Оставшиеся рождественские гирлянды...
106
00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:37,844
...вы решили сохранить нам праздник на целый год?
107
00:06:38,056 --> 00:06:41,128
По идее, кто-то должен был их снять после Нового
года...
108
00:06:41,376 --> 00:06:43,048
но, очевидно, кто-то забыл!
109
00:06:43,656 --> 00:06:45,851
По идее, кто-то должен был написать:
110
00:06:46,056 --> 00:06:49,810
"Рэйчел, сними гирлянды" и прилепить
это на холодиль--
111
00:06:52,016 --> 00:06:53,813
Как давно это здесь находится?
112
00:06:55,496 --> 00:06:56,292
Где ты был?
113
00:06:56,856 --> 00:07:00,246
В "Риффе". Я думаю, Урсуле я понравился.
Я заказал всего лишь кофе,
114
00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:04,011
а она принесла мне жареного тунца и
четыре тарелки картофельных колечек.
115
00:07:06,056 --> 00:07:07,205
Это успех.
116
00:07:08,816 --> 00:07:11,205
Она такая классная!
117
00:07:11,416 --> 00:07:13,850
Ладно, пока ты не сделал что-то в стиле Джо...
118
00:07:14,096 --> 00:07:16,246
... ты бы не хотел сначала поговорить об этом
с...
119
00:07:19,176 --> 00:07:20,165
Фиби?
120
00:07:21,456 --> 00:07:23,731
Ты не будешь против, если я приглашу на свидание
твою сестру?
121
00:07:24,096 --> 00:07:27,008
Почему? Почему ты хочешь это сделать?
Почему?
122
00:07:28,216 --> 00:07:31,094
Ну чтобы если бы мы пошли на свидание, она бы
тоже была там.
123
00:07:36,296 --> 00:07:39,129
Хорошо, я хочу сказать, я своей сестре, понимаешь,
не...
124
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:40,604
... кто-то там.
125
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:45,408
Я хочу сказать, это правда,
что однажды мы были в одном яйце.
126
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,610
Опять же, понимаешь, мы выросли порознь, так что...
127
00:07:48,856 --> 00:07:50,494
Я не знаю. Почему бы и нет?
128
00:07:50,856 --> 00:07:52,050
Круто. Спасибо.
129
00:07:55,616 --> 00:07:56,731
Ты в порядке?
130
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,409
Да, все хорошо.
131
00:07:59,096 --> 00:08:01,610
Не хочешь посмотреть "Лаверн и Ширли"?
132
00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:17,411
Прости.
133
00:08:19,096 --> 00:08:21,246
Прости, что опоздал.
А где Кэрол?
134
00:08:21,496 --> 00:08:24,533
Застряла в школе.
Что-то типа родительского собрания.
135
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:27,290
Ты можешь идти. Я запомню всё, что скажут.
136
00:08:28,096 --> 00:08:32,487
Нет, я думаю мне стоит остаться.
Мы оба должны знать, что происходит.
137
00:08:32,696 --> 00:08:33,845
Хорошо.
138
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,449
Это будет весело.
139
00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:39,968
Мы начнём с основных дыхательных упражнений третьего
уровня.
140
00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:41,848
Мамочки, ложитесь на спину.
141
00:08:42,096 --> 00:08:45,805
А помощники должны поддерживать головы мамочек.
142
00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:53,451
- Что?
- Что?
143
00:08:53,696 --> 00:08:55,334
Я должна быть мамочкой?
144
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:58,812
Так, ладно, еще раз напоминаю
о своей роли осеменителя.
145
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:04,291
Я не смогу потренироваться быть помощником потому
что я женщина?
146
00:09:04,496 --> 00:09:06,214
И что ты предлагаешь?
147
00:09:06,456 --> 00:09:08,606
- Я подброшу монетку.
- Подбросишь монетку?
148
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,295
Решка, решка, решка!
149
00:09:10,896 --> 00:09:12,852
На спину, мамочка!
150
00:09:16,696 --> 00:09:20,609
Отлично, мамочки, сделайте хороший, глубокий,
очищающий вдох.
151
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:24,892
Хорошо.
152
00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:27,894
Теперь представьте, как открывается ваше влагалище...
153
00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:30,007
...как цветок.
154
00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:42,287
Мистер Ди! Как дела, сэр?
155
00:09:42,496 --> 00:09:43,724
Бывало и получше.
156
00:09:44,296 --> 00:09:46,685
Мы получили АНУС - Анализ Нормально-Усредненной
Статистики.
157
00:09:48,016 --> 00:09:49,415
Выглядит скверно.
158
00:09:49,616 --> 00:09:52,813
Такого плохого АНУСа не было с 70-х.
159
00:09:54,096 --> 00:09:54,926
Что это значит?
160
00:09:55,496 --> 00:09:57,532
Мы будем сокращать людей.
161
00:09:57,976 --> 00:10:01,571
Я знаю, что опоздал на прошлой неделе.
Я плохо спал, и мои волосы растрепались.
162
00:10:01,776 --> 00:10:03,004
Не тебя.
163
00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:04,815
Расслабься.
164
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,414
Приходилось когда-нибудь кого-нибудь увольнять?
165
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:10,886
Нина...
166
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:14,051
Нина...
167
00:10:20,936 --> 00:10:21,766
Ты в порядке?
168
00:10:23,496 --> 00:10:25,293
Да. Да, всё хорошо.
169
00:10:26,896 --> 00:10:30,605
Слушай, причина по которой я тебя вызвал..
170
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:32,615
Пожалуйста не надо меня ненавидеть.
171
00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:34,212
Что?
172
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,566
Ты не против, если мы как-нибудь вместе поужинаем?
173
00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:46,005
Так, что ты хочешь на твой день рождения?
174
00:10:46,496 --> 00:10:50,535
На самом деле я хочу, чтобы моя мама была жива
и праздновала мой день рождения вместе со мной.
175
00:10:56,416 --> 00:10:59,408
Выражусь по другому. Что-нибудь из "Крабтри
и Эвелин"?
176
00:10:59,616 --> 00:11:01,254
Соль для ванны была бы кстати!
177
00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:02,406
Хорошо.
178
00:11:10,816 --> 00:11:12,249
Что это за место?
179
00:11:12,496 --> 00:11:15,056
Тебе холодно, мне нужно в туалет и здесь есть
кофе.
180
00:11:15,256 --> 00:11:17,008
Насколько плохо тут может быть?
181
00:11:17,296 --> 00:11:19,207
Я думаю, у нас есть ответ.
182
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:22,005
Что она здесь делает?
183
00:11:22,256 --> 00:11:25,407
Может, Господь посылает
нам знак: "Ешьте дома".
184
00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:29,770
- Думаешь, её уволили из "Рифф"?
- Нет, мы были там вчера вечером.
185
00:11:29,976 --> 00:11:32,536
Она все время приносила рыбу-меч.
Так ты идешь в..?
186
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,846
Я подожду, пока мы не закажем. Это она, так?
187
00:11:35,096 --> 00:11:37,451
Похоже на неё.
188
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,408
Простите?
189
00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:41,495
Привет, это мы!
190
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:47,207
Ага. А это я!
191
00:11:49,496 --> 00:11:51,088
И ты здесь?
192
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:53,214
Так же, как и вы.
193
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:54,811
Твоя очередь.
194
00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:56,931
Мы знаем, что мы хотим.
195
00:11:57,296 --> 00:11:58,206
Это хорошо.
196
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:01,844
- Два кофе латте.
- И несколько бисквитных печенек.
197
00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:03,604
Отличный выбор.
198
00:12:07,696 --> 00:12:09,209
Это определённо она.
199
00:12:18,736 --> 00:12:19,851
Я не могу поверить тебе.
200
00:12:20,096 --> 00:12:23,054
Ты до сих пор не сказал
девушке, что она уволена?
201
00:12:23,856 --> 00:12:26,609
Ты до сих пор не сняла рождественские гирлянды.
202
00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:31,132
Поздравляю! Ты нашёл самый
ничтожный аргумент в мире.
203
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:33,653
Пытаюсь выждать нужный момент.
204
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:36,808
Сейчас, когда вы встречаетесь, должно быть не
так трудно.
205
00:12:38,176 --> 00:12:42,328
"Милочка, ты уволена. Но как насчёт перепихнуться
по-быстрому,
перед тем, как я пойду на работу? "
206
00:12:49,696 --> 00:12:52,813
Когда ты вошел, стучать уже не нужно.
207
00:12:54,056 --> 00:12:55,409
Я открою.
208
00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:00,408
Здрасьте, мистер Хеклес.
209
00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:01,965
Вы снова это делаете.
210
00:13:02,176 --> 00:13:03,609
Мы ничего не делаем.
211
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:06,808
Мы просто сидим и тихонько разговариваем.
212
00:13:07,096 --> 00:13:09,007
Я слышу вас через потолок.
213
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,812
Мои кошки не могут спать.
214
00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:16,094
У вас даже нет кошек.
215
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,127
У меня могли бы быть кошки.
216
00:13:19,616 --> 00:13:20,765
До свидания, мистер Хеклес.
217
00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:23,410
Мы постараемся быть потише.
218
00:13:27,496 --> 00:13:30,010
Фиби, можешь сделать мне одолжение?
219
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,173
Одень вот это. Хочу убедиться, что это впору.
220
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:36,130
Мой первый подарок на день рождения!
О, это просто...
221
00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:39,448
Это для Урсулы.
Я просто подумал, ну знаешь, один и тот же размер.
222
00:13:42,296 --> 00:13:43,570
Конечно, ага.
223
00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:45,095
Ладно, как раз.
224
00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:48,525
Ты снова с ней встречаешься?
225
00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:50,852
Ага. Идем на "Ледовую симфонию".
226
00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:52,251
Это серьёзно.
227
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,607
Не припоминаю, чтобы ты когда-нибудь
платил деньги за какую-нибудь симфонию.
228
00:13:57,776 --> 00:13:59,448
Я не знаю. Она мне нравится.
229
00:13:59,696 --> 00:14:02,893
Она не такая как все. В ней есть что-то...
230
00:14:03,096 --> 00:14:05,291
Что тебе нравится. Мы поняли. Она тебе нравится.
231
00:14:07,176 --> 00:14:09,644
Фиби, я тебя спросил, и ты сказала,
что все нормально.
232
00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:11,687
А может, сейчас это ненормально.
233
00:14:13,976 --> 00:14:17,207
А может, сейчас для меня ненормально,
то, что это ненормально.
234
00:14:22,656 --> 00:14:24,248
Вяжи, добрая женщина.
Вяжи! Вяжи!
235
00:14:37,096 --> 00:14:39,815
А вон там - это Крайслер Билдинг.
236
00:14:41,496 --> 00:14:43,009
Мистер Дуглас.
237
00:14:43,496 --> 00:14:44,485
Классный галстук.
238
00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:48,806
Она все еще здесь.
239
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,606
Да. Да, здесь еще.
240
00:14:52,096 --> 00:14:53,324
Разве я не отправлял тебе служебку?
241
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:58,252
После того, как я ее уволил, мне позвонил ее психиатр,
доктор Фланен...
242
00:14:58,496 --> 00:14:59,975
... доктор Фланан, доктор Флан.
243
00:15:02,256 --> 00:15:05,214
И он сообщил мне, что она восприняла эту новость
очень плохо.
244
00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:08,055
Фактически, он употребил слово "безумие".
245
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,250
Но выглядит она так...
246
00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:12,208
Нет, нет...
Нина? Она просто...
247
00:15:14,176 --> 00:15:16,212
Фактически, если спросить ее сейчас...
248
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,214
... она совершенно не вспомнит об увольнении.
249
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:21,571
Это невозможно.
250
00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:23,368
И все же возможно.
251
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,012
Поэтому я решил не увольнять ее еще раз...
252
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,447
.. до тех пор, пока не буду уверен в том, что
она не представляет опасности для себя и для окружающих.
253
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:34,414
Ясно. Действительно, никогда не знаешь, что творится
в чужой голове.
254
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,412
Наверное, именно поэтому это и называется психологией,
сэр.
255
00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:44,014
Звук, который мама и папа никогда не забудут.
256
00:15:44,216 --> 00:15:47,333
Ведь в конце концов, это и есть чудо рождения.
257
00:15:47,576 --> 00:15:48,804
Свет, пожалуйста.
258
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:50,455
Вот так и появляется ребенок.
259
00:15:50,696 --> 00:15:52,812
На следующей неделе наше последнее занятие.
260
00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,809
Сьюзан, глубокий вдох.
261
00:16:00,576 --> 00:16:02,806
Это невозможно.
Просто невозможно.
262
00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:04,051
В чем дело, дорогая?
263
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,048
То, что эта женщина...
264
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,245
... сделала.
265
00:16:08,256 --> 00:16:10,816
Я этого делать не буду!
266
00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:14,048
Это должно остаться внутри, и все.
Все будет как прежде.
267
00:16:14,296 --> 00:16:17,174
- Просто останется внутри.
- Кэрол, дорогая.
268
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,936
- Все будет в порядке.
- Тебе-то откуда знать?
269
00:16:20,136 --> 00:16:22,855
Никто тебе не говорит:
"Эй, эта ваша ноздря?
270
00:16:23,096 --> 00:16:25,485
Вы не против, если мы просунем через нее
этот кусок тушеного мяса?!"
271
00:16:26,696 --> 00:16:28,209
Кэрол, дорогая.
272
00:16:28,456 --> 00:16:29,809
Очищающее дыхание.
273
00:16:31,096 --> 00:16:34,054
Я знаю, это пугает.
Но если задуматься:
274
00:16:34,296 --> 00:16:36,571
Роды длятся все лишь один день...
275
00:16:36,976 --> 00:16:40,969
... и после них мы будем родителями до конца нашей
жизни.
276
00:16:41,576 --> 00:16:44,010
Ведь это же и есть самое главное, верно?
277
00:16:44,256 --> 00:16:45,245
Росс?
278
00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:47,332
Росс.
279
00:16:48,096 --> 00:16:49,973
Я стану отцом.
280
00:16:51,096 --> 00:16:54,247
- До тебя только дошло?
- Я знал, что у меня будет ребенок.
281
00:16:54,456 --> 00:16:57,607
Я никогда не думал о том, что у ребенка буду я.
282
00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,847
Ты будешь замечательным отцом.
283
00:17:00,096 --> 00:17:01,415
Откуда ты знаешь?
284
00:17:01,616 --> 00:17:04,608
Я даже не могу заставить Марселя
прекратить жевать коврик в ванной.
285
00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:06,615
Как я буду воспитывать ребенка?
286
00:17:07,096 --> 00:17:09,246
Знаешь, некоторые современные ученые говорят...
287
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:12,408
... что обезьяны и дети в общем не одно и то же.
288
00:17:15,656 --> 00:17:16,805
- Ты куда направляешься?
- Отсюда.
289
00:17:17,056 --> 00:17:18,409
С..?
290
00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:22,134
Могу я задать всего один вопрос?
291
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,409
Вы двое, ты знаешь, типа, ну знаешь?
292
00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:29,011
Понимаешь?
293
00:17:29,976 --> 00:17:30,931
Уже?
294
00:17:31,776 --> 00:17:33,653
Тебя это, в общем, не касается...
295
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,534
...но нет, ещё нет.
296
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,007
Ты имела ввиду секс, так?
297
00:17:51,176 --> 00:17:53,849
- У вас есть минутка?
- Конечно, Нина. В чем дело?
298
00:17:54,416 --> 00:17:57,488
В течение последних нескольких дней люди шарахаются
от меня...
299
00:17:57,696 --> 00:17:59,573
... и бросают на меня странные взгляды.
300
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:04,011
ну, может быть это из-за того, что...
301
00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:05,735
... они завидуют нам.
302
00:18:06,096 --> 00:18:07,370
Может быть.
303
00:18:07,576 --> 00:18:10,613
Но это не объясняет, почему у меня забирают ножницы.
304
00:18:11,496 --> 00:18:15,171
Ну, может быть, это из-за того, что ты получаешь
большую прибавку!
305
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,487
- Я?
- Конечно. Почему нет?
306
00:18:18,776 --> 00:18:21,609
Бог ты мой!
Ты просто прелесть!
307
00:18:22,176 --> 00:18:24,007
Ты просто не представляешь.
308
00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:28,132
Хелен, подготовьте все документы
по увеличению зарплаты мисс Букбайндер.
309
00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:32,615
А анализ ее психологического состояния в отдел
кадров отправлять?
310
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,209
Хелен пьет.
311
00:18:35,896 --> 00:18:37,614
Выйдешь за меня замуж?
312
00:18:43,936 --> 00:18:46,655
- В итоге я все ей рассказал.
- И как она отреагировала?
313
00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:49,809
В целом неплохо.
Если не считать степлера.
314
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:53,174
Подсказка на будущее. Если когда-нибудь ты окажешься
в подобной ситуации...
315
00:18:53,376 --> 00:18:56,015
... никогда, никогда не опирайся рукой на стол.
316
00:18:57,176 --> 00:19:00,009
Думаю, я знаю, как это сделать.
317
00:19:05,096 --> 00:19:07,610
Мы можем это выключить?
Можно заставить их убраться отюда?
318
00:19:07,856 --> 00:19:09,608
Потому что я не могу смотреть!
319
00:19:09,976 --> 00:19:10,806
Они ушли.
320
00:19:12,336 --> 00:19:13,974
Ты в порядке?
321
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:17,930
Ага. Это все ерунда из-за Урсулы.
322
00:19:18,296 --> 00:19:19,649
Могу я спросить?
323
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:23,013
Итак, он встречается с ней.
Это что и правда так ужасно?
324
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:24,526
Да.
325
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:29,253
Ну, не то чтобы я думала, что она злая или что-то
в этом роде.
326
00:19:29,496 --> 00:19:32,215
Она просто, ну знаешь, всегда ломает мои вещи.
327
00:19:33,096 --> 00:19:36,247
Когда мне было 8 лет, я не позволила ей
брать мой термос "Джуди Джетсон"...
328
00:19:36,456 --> 00:19:38,412
... так она бросила его под автобус.
329
00:19:39,296 --> 00:19:41,014
А потом был Рэнди Браун...
330
00:19:41,216 --> 00:19:42,615
который был такой...
331
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,854
У тебя когда-нибудь был парень, который был бы
твоим лучшим другом?
332
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,851
Вот, а он был им для меня.
333
00:19:52,056 --> 00:19:54,445
И она, ну, как бы увела его у меня...
334
00:19:54,696 --> 00:19:57,415
... и разбила ему сердце.
335
00:19:58,216 --> 00:20:00,730
И после этого, он никогда больше не говорил со
мной.
336
00:20:00,976 --> 00:20:05,049
Он не хотел, чтобы его окружало что-нибудь, что
напоминало бы одну из нас.
337
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:12,809
Ну, я, конечно, знаю, что Джоуи не мой парень
и не термос...
338
00:20:13,856 --> 00:20:15,209
... или еще что-нибудь, но... .
339
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:18,095
- Ты не хочешь его потерять.
- Поговори с ним.
340
00:20:18,696 --> 00:20:19,572
Да, хорошо.
341
00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:22,768
Он ничего этого не знает.
Если бы ты сказала ему, как ты к этому относишься...
342
00:20:22,976 --> 00:20:24,534
Он влюбляется в нее.
343
00:20:24,736 --> 00:20:26,647
Они встречаются неделю.
344
00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:31,014
Они еще не разу не спали.
Ну, в смысле это не серьезно.
345
00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:58,809
Мы можем тебе помочь?
346
00:21:13,656 --> 00:21:16,853
Что ты делаешь? Околеть можно!
Может, зайдешь внутрь?
347
00:21:17,056 --> 00:21:18,808
Нет, нет, нет.
348
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,610
Ты хотела, чтобы я их сняла.
349
00:21:21,816 --> 00:21:24,284
... и я их снимаю, ясно?
350
00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:28,726
Рэйчел!
351
00:21:28,976 --> 00:21:31,012
Я в порядке. Я в порядке.
352
00:21:32,096 --> 00:21:33,290
Мистер Хеклс?
353
00:21:34,176 --> 00:21:36,815
Мистер Хеклс, не могли бы вы мне помочь?
354
00:21:37,936 --> 00:21:41,008
Это как раз то, о чем я говорила.
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