1
00:00:16,978 --> 00:00:18,969
-I'm sorry!
-Oh, my God! That's it!
2
00:00:19,178 --> 00:00:21,328
You just barge in here
and you don't knock?
3
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,335
You have no respect
for my privacy?
4
00:00:23,538 --> 00:00:25,051
-Rachel, wait!
-No, you wait!
5
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:26,486
Can I just say one thing?
6
00:00:26,698 --> 00:00:27,608
What?! What?
7
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:30,969
That's a relatively open weave
and I can still see your. . .
8
00:00:31,858 --> 00:00:32,654
. . .nippular area.
9
00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:39,686
The One With the Boobies
10
00:01:03,138 --> 00:01:04,127
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
11
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:26,614
Honey, honey. . .
12
00:01:26,858 --> 00:01:29,372
. . .tell them the story about
your patient. . .
13
00:01:29,578 --> 00:01:31,773
. . .who thinks things are
other things.
14
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:35,016
Like when the phone rings
and she takes a shower. . . .
15
00:01:36,738 --> 00:01:38,376
That's pretty much it.
16
00:01:39,818 --> 00:01:42,013
But you tell it really well, sweetie.
17
00:01:42,258 --> 00:01:43,168
Thanks.
18
00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:46,972
Now go away so we can
talk about you.
19
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:48,811
Okay. I'll miss you.
20
00:01:51,018 --> 00:01:51,814
Isn't he great?
21
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:54,288
He's so cute. And he
likes you so much.
22
00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:55,408
I know. I know.
23
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,491
He's so sweet.
And so complicated, you know?
24
00:01:58,738 --> 00:02:01,810
And for a shrink,
he's not too shrinky. You know?
25
00:02:02,058 --> 00:02:03,935
Think you'll do it on his couch?
26
00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:06,817
I don't know. That's a little weird.
27
00:02:07,058 --> 00:02:08,377
It's vinyl. . . .
28
00:02:12,578 --> 00:02:14,091
You guys want anything else?
29
00:02:14,338 --> 00:02:15,771
-Could I have--
-We're all out.
30
00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:17,206
Anybody else?
31
00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:19,890
Did I miss something?
32
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,170
No, she's still upset
because I saw her boobies.
33
00:02:23,938 --> 00:02:26,771
What were you doing
seeing her boobies?
34
00:02:27,018 --> 00:02:27,814
It was an accident.
35
00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:31,977
I wasn't across the street with
a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
36
00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,369
Can we change the subject, please?
37
00:02:34,858 --> 00:02:38,567
Because, hello? These aren't her
''boobies. '' These are her breasts.
38
00:02:40,058 --> 00:02:43,016
Pheebs, I was hoping
for more of a change.
39
00:02:43,938 --> 00:02:47,408
I don't know why you're embarrassed.
They were very nice boobies.
40
00:02:48,658 --> 00:02:49,773
''Nice''?
41
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:51,213
They were ''nice''?
42
00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:54,097
That's it?
I mean, mittens are ''nice. ''
43
00:02:56,538 --> 00:02:58,369
Rock, hard place. . .
44
00:02:58,578 --> 00:02:59,374
. . .me.
45
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,007
You're so funny!
46
00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:09,175
He's really funny!
47
00:03:09,538 --> 00:03:13,133
I wouldn't want to be there when
the laughter stops.
48
00:03:13,858 --> 00:03:15,257
Back up there, sparky.
49
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,652
What did you mean by that?
50
00:03:19,538 --> 00:03:22,610
It seems that maybe
you have intimacy issues. . .
51
00:03:22,818 --> 00:03:26,493
. . .that you use your humor
to keep people at a distance.
52
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:31,657
I mean, I just met you.
I don't know you from Adam.
53
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,453
Only child, right?
54
00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:38,008
Parents divorced
before you hit puberty.
55
00:03:40,778 --> 00:03:41,574
How did you know?
56
00:03:42,258 --> 00:03:43,327
It's textbook.
57
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:47,447
Hey, you guys.
58
00:03:47,698 --> 00:03:49,177
You all know my dad, right?
59
00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:51,974
-How long are you in the city?
-Two days.
60
00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:53,213
I got a job midtown.
61
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:55,608
I'm better off
staying with the kid. . .
62
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:57,968
. . .than going back and forth
on the ferry.
63
00:03:58,218 --> 00:03:59,253
I don't know this one.
64
00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:01,535
This is my friend Roger.
65
00:04:01,738 --> 00:04:03,296
-Good to meet you.
-You too.
66
00:04:03,538 --> 00:04:06,211
What happened to the puppet guy?
67
00:04:06,418 --> 00:04:07,214
Dad!
68
00:04:08,738 --> 00:04:09,773
Excuse me.
69
00:04:09,978 --> 00:04:11,969
So, Ross, how's the wife?
70
00:04:14,258 --> 00:04:15,771
0 for 2, huh?
71
00:04:16,538 --> 00:04:18,574
Chandler, quick,
say something funny!
72
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:28,777
Gotta go.
73
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:29,973
I miss you too.
74
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:32,209
I love you,
but it's getting late now--
75
00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:34,016
Let me say hi. Hey, Ma!
76
00:04:34,258 --> 00:04:37,773
Listen, I made the appointment
with Dr. Bassida and--
77
00:04:38,818 --> 00:04:39,967
Excuse me?
78
00:04:43,338 --> 00:04:44,817
Did you know this isn't Ma?
79
00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:54,608
Her name's Ronni.
80
00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,657
She's a pet mortician.
81
00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:02,773
Sure.
82
00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:05,769
So how long have you been. . . .
83
00:05:07,818 --> 00:05:12,096
Remember when you were a kid, we'd
go see the big ships in the navy yard?
84
00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:13,248
Since then?
85
00:05:13,858 --> 00:05:15,974
No, it's only been six years.
86
00:05:16,178 --> 00:05:17,770
I wanted to give you
a nice memory. . .
87
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,090
. . .so you'd know I wasn't always
such a terrible guy.
88
00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,888
Joe, have you ever been in love?
89
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:28,528
I don't know.
90
00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:30,577
Then you haven't.
91
00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:32,611
You're burning your tomatoes.
92
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:34,007
You're one to talk.
93
00:05:36,538 --> 00:05:38,369
Your dad's in love, bigtime.
94
00:05:38,578 --> 00:05:41,251
And the worst part is,
it's with two different women.
95
00:05:41,498 --> 00:05:44,410
Oh, man! Please tell me
one of them is Ma.
96
00:05:44,658 --> 00:05:47,456
Of course one of them's Ma.
What's the matter with you?
97
00:05:55,658 --> 00:05:58,297
It's like if you woke up one day
and found out. . .
98
00:05:58,498 --> 00:06:00,534
. . .your dad was
leading this double life.
99
00:06:00,738 --> 00:06:04,572
He's like actually some spy
working for the CIA.
100
00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:06,406
That'd be cool!
101
00:06:07,218 --> 00:06:08,571
This blows!
102
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:13,490
I know. Why can't parents
just stay parents?
103
00:06:13,738 --> 00:06:15,569
Why do they
have to become people?
104
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:17,649
Why do they have--
105
00:06:18,218 --> 00:06:19,173
Why. . .
106
00:06:21,258 --> 00:06:24,409
. . .can't you stop staring
at my breasts?
107
00:06:25,778 --> 00:06:26,767
What?
108
00:06:29,058 --> 00:06:30,173
What?
109
00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:33,612
Didn't you get a good enough
look the other day?
110
00:06:33,858 --> 00:06:35,177
We're all adults here.
111
00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:38,051
There's only one way
to resolve this.
112
00:06:38,258 --> 00:06:39,737
Since you saw her boobies. . .
113
00:06:39,938 --> 00:06:42,372
. . .you're gonna have to show her
your pee-pee.
114
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:53,767
You know,
I don't see that happening.
115
00:06:54,938 --> 00:06:57,168
Come on. He's right.
Tit for tat.
116
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:04,247
Well I'm not showing you my tat!
117
00:07:08,258 --> 00:07:10,567
-It's Phoebe.
-And Rog!
118
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:12,893
Come on up.
119
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:15,976
Oh, good! Rog is here!
120
00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:20,215
-What's the matter with Rog?
-Nothing. It's a little thing.
121
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:22,176
I hate that guy!
122
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:26,288
What? So he was a little analytical.
That's what he does.
123
00:07:26,538 --> 00:07:28,335
Come on, he's not that bad.
124
00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:31,211
That's where you're wrong!
Why would I marry her. . .
125
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,137
. . .if I thought on any level
that she was a lesbian?
126
00:07:35,098 --> 00:07:36,372
I don't know.
127
00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,256
Maybe you wanted
your marriage to fail.
128
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:45,369
Why? Why would I?
Why?
129
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:51,012
I don't know.
Maybe low self-esteem?
130
00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:54,574
Maybe to compensate
for overshadowing a sibling.
131
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:57,973
Wait!
Go back to that ''sibling'' thing.
132
00:07:58,218 --> 00:08:00,778
Well, I don't know.
133
00:08:00,978 --> 00:08:04,015
It's conceivable that
you sabotaged your marriage. . .
134
00:08:04,258 --> 00:08:07,728
. . .so the sibling would be less
of a failure in the parents' eyes.
135
00:08:11,338 --> 00:08:15,047
That's ridiculous!
I don't feel guilty for her failures.
136
00:08:17,858 --> 00:08:20,292
-So you think I'm a failure?
-Isn't he good?
137
00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:23,653
That's not what I was saying.
138
00:08:23,858 --> 00:08:25,814
I thought you were on my side. . .
139
00:08:26,058 --> 00:08:28,288
. . .but maybe you were
sucking up to Mom and Dad. . .
140
00:08:28,498 --> 00:08:29,567
. . .so they'd favor you.
141
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:32,087
I married a lesbian
to make you look good!
142
00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:37,973
You're right.
143
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,571
I mean, you're right!
144
00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:43,407
It wasn't just the Weebles,
but it was the Weeble Play Palace. . .
145
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,174
. . .and the Weeble's Cruise Ship. . .
146
00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:52,172
. . .which had this little lifeboat
for the Weebles to wobble in.
147
00:08:53,338 --> 00:08:55,090
That's tough, tough stuff.
148
00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:58,575
Pheebs, if we're gonna
catch that movie, we gotta go.
149
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,373
Feel better, okay?
150
00:09:00,578 --> 00:09:02,375
We're gonna be late, sweetie.
151
00:09:02,578 --> 00:09:04,216
Thanks for everything, Mon.
152
00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:05,288
No problem.
153
00:09:05,658 --> 00:09:07,330
It was great seeing you again.
154
00:09:09,938 --> 00:09:12,691
Mon, easy on those cookies, okay?
155
00:09:12,938 --> 00:09:14,974
Remember, they're just food. . .
156
00:09:15,218 --> 00:09:16,537
. . .they're not love.
157
00:09:20,858 --> 00:09:22,371
I hate that guy!
158
00:09:25,938 --> 00:09:27,132
Good night, you guys.
159
00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:32,572
Oh, look!
It's the woman we ordered.
160
00:09:37,658 --> 00:09:38,727
Can we help you?
161
00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:42,086
No, thanks. I'm just waiting
for Joey Tribbiani.
162
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:44,891
I'm Joey Tribbiani.
163
00:09:45,898 --> 00:09:48,571
Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.
164
00:09:48,778 --> 00:09:49,767
Oh, my God!
165
00:09:49,978 --> 00:09:52,538
You're so much cuter than
your pictures.
166
00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:56,530
I'm Ronni.
167
00:09:59,538 --> 00:10:00,607
Cheese nip?
168
00:10:03,058 --> 00:10:04,969
Joey's having an embolism. . .
169
00:10:05,578 --> 00:10:06,772
. . .but I'd go for a nip.
170
00:10:14,138 --> 00:10:16,493
Most people,
when their pets pass on. . .
171
00:10:16,738 --> 00:10:19,298
. . .want them laid out
like they're sleeping.
172
00:10:19,498 --> 00:10:22,535
Occasionally you get a person
who wants them in a pose.
173
00:10:22,818 --> 00:10:25,378
Like chasing their tail.
174
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:29,209
Or jumping to catch a Frisbee.
175
00:10:30,378 --> 00:10:33,575
Joey, if I go first, I want to be
looking for my keys.
176
00:10:35,418 --> 00:10:36,851
That's a good one!
177
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,537
Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.
178
00:10:41,618 --> 00:10:43,017
Hello, babe!
179
00:10:43,858 --> 00:10:46,053
What are you doing here?
180
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:48,891
You left your hair
at my place.
181
00:10:49,138 --> 00:10:51,413
I thought you'd need it
for your meeting.
182
00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:55,134
Thank you.
183
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,533
So! Who's up for a big
game of Kerplunk?
184
00:11:03,818 --> 00:11:04,887
Look, I. . . .
185
00:11:05,258 --> 00:11:06,691
I shouldn't have come.
186
00:11:06,938 --> 00:11:09,247
I gotta go.
I'll miss the last train.
187
00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,449
I don't want you taking
that thing this late.
188
00:11:11,658 --> 00:11:13,376
Where am I gonna stay?
Here?
189
00:11:15,338 --> 00:11:16,532
We'll go to a hotel.
190
00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:18,767
We'll go to a hotel.
191
00:11:20,258 --> 00:11:22,169
-No, you won't.
-No, we won't.
192
00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:25,177
If you go to a hotel,
you'll be doing stuff.
193
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:28,211
I want you right here,
where I can keep an eye on you.
194
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,010
You're gonna keep an eye on us?
195
00:11:30,218 --> 00:11:31,014
Right, mister!
196
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,818
I don't care how old you are,
while you're here. . .
197
00:11:34,058 --> 00:11:36,367
. . .you're gonna live by my rules.
198
00:11:39,778 --> 00:11:42,611
And that means no sleeping
with your girlfriend.
199
00:11:43,258 --> 00:11:45,772
Wow, he's strict.
200
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:47,407
Dad, you'll be in my room.
201
00:11:47,658 --> 00:11:50,536
Ronni, you can stay in
Chandler's room.
202
00:11:50,818 --> 00:11:53,048
Thanks.
You're a good kid.
203
00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:55,214
Come on.
I'll show you to my room.
204
00:11:56,818 --> 00:12:00,572
That sounds weird when it's not
followed by, ''No, thanks, it's late! ''
205
00:12:04,618 --> 00:12:07,894
This is just for tonight.
Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.
206
00:12:08,138 --> 00:12:10,527
-Six years is long enough!
-What kind of change?
207
00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,655
-Break up with Ronni--
-I can't!
208
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,412
Then come clean with Ma!
This is not right!
209
00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:18,532
I don't wanna hear it!
Now go to my room!
210
00:12:32,058 --> 00:12:33,571
Hey, kickie!
211
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,008
What are you doing?
212
00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:38,577
Trying to get comfortable.
213
00:12:38,818 --> 00:12:41,571
-I can't sleep in my underwear.
-Well, you're gonna.
214
00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,366
I've been thinking. . .
215
00:12:49,618 --> 00:12:52,769
. . .about how I'm always
seeing girls on top of girls. . . .
216
00:12:55,618 --> 00:12:58,769
Are they end-to-end,
or tall, like pancakes?
217
00:12:59,338 --> 00:13:02,216
You know what I mean.
How I date all these women.
218
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,177
I always figured, when
the right one comes along. . .
219
00:13:05,378 --> 00:13:08,575
. . .I'll be able to be a standup guy
and go the distance.
220
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:11,087
Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking--
221
00:13:11,298 --> 00:13:13,607
You're not him, you're you.
222
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:18,167
When they wanted you to go into
your father's business, did you cave?
223
00:13:19,538 --> 00:13:21,847
You chose
the out-of-work-actor business.
224
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,013
That wasn't easy, but you did it.
225
00:13:26,658 --> 00:13:29,491
And I believe that
when the right woman comes along. . .
226
00:13:29,698 --> 00:13:31,529
. . .you'll have the guts to say:
227
00:13:31,738 --> 00:13:33,091
''No thanks, I'm married. ''
228
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:40,767
You really think so?
229
00:13:42,018 --> 00:13:43,007
I really do.
230
00:13:43,258 --> 00:13:44,771
-Thanks, Chandler.
-Get off!
231
00:13:58,378 --> 00:13:59,174
May I help you?
232
00:13:59,658 --> 00:14:03,333
Joey said I could use your shower
since Chandler's in ours.
233
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:05,974
Who are you?
234
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:09,372
Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono.
235
00:14:09,698 --> 00:14:10,494
The mistress?
236
00:14:13,658 --> 00:14:15,216
-Come on in.
-Thanks.
237
00:14:15,418 --> 00:14:17,295
I'm Rachel.
Bathroom's up there.
238
00:14:17,498 --> 00:14:18,408
Say, Ronni. . . .
239
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,774
How long has Chandler been
in the shower?
240
00:14:21,378 --> 00:14:22,697
Like five minutes.
241
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:24,973
Perfect.
242
00:14:27,098 --> 00:14:28,611
Fasten your seat belts. . .
243
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,376
. . .it's pee-pee time!
244
00:14:36,138 --> 00:14:37,366
Hey, Mr. Trib.
245
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,212
Good morning, dear.
246
00:14:40,978 --> 00:14:44,766
Chandler Bing,
it's time to see your thing.
247
00:14:56,178 --> 00:14:59,329
-What's with you?
-I thought it was Chandler!
248
00:14:59,618 --> 00:15:03,088
You were supposed to be in there
so I could see your thing!
249
00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:07,377
Sorry, my thing
was in there with me.
250
00:15:15,978 --> 00:15:16,774
How's it going?
251
00:15:17,018 --> 00:15:17,894
Good.
252
00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:22,291
Roger's having a dinner thing
and he wanted me to invite you guys.
253
00:15:25,578 --> 00:15:26,454
What's going on?
254
00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:27,767
Nothing.
255
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:29,567
It's just that. . . .
256
00:15:30,738 --> 00:15:31,568
It's Roger.
257
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:34,452
There's something about--
258
00:15:35,138 --> 00:15:36,810
Basically, we just feel
that he's. . . .
259
00:15:37,058 --> 00:15:38,047
We hate that guy!
260
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,453
We hate him!
261
00:15:39,818 --> 00:15:41,137
We're sorry, Pheebs.
262
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:46,015
Don't you think maybe it's just that
he's so perceptive. . .
263
00:15:46,258 --> 00:15:47,816
. . .that it freaked you out?
264
00:15:48,018 --> 00:15:49,736
-No, I hate him!
-No, we hate him!
265
00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:51,053
I'm sorry.
266
00:16:03,818 --> 00:16:05,410
Ma! What are you doing here?
267
00:16:05,618 --> 00:16:07,574
I came to give you this. . .
268
00:16:07,818 --> 00:16:09,012
. . .and this!
269
00:16:09,338 --> 00:16:10,657
Big ring!
270
00:16:10,978 --> 00:16:13,811
Why did you fill your father's head
with that garbage. . .
271
00:16:14,058 --> 00:16:16,572
. . .about making things right?
272
00:16:16,818 --> 00:16:18,968
Things were fine the way they were!
273
00:16:19,218 --> 00:16:21,778
There's chicken in there.
Put it away.
274
00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:24,777
For God's sake, Joey!
Really.
275
00:16:27,058 --> 00:16:28,616
Hold on. You knew?
276
00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:31,093
Of course I knew.
What do you think?
277
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:33,613
Your father is no James Bond.
278
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:35,610
You should have heard
his cover stories.
279
00:16:35,858 --> 00:16:38,008
''I'm sleeping over at
my accountant's. ''
280
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,408
I mean, what is that?
Please!
281
00:16:40,658 --> 00:16:42,410
So then, how could you--?
282
00:16:42,618 --> 00:16:45,007
Do you remember
how your father used to be?
283
00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:49,297
Always yelling.
Nothing made him happy.
284
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:53,087
Not that wood shop, not those
stupid little ships in the bottle.
285
00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:54,771
Now he's happy.
286
00:16:55,018 --> 00:16:57,486
I mean, it's nice.
He has a hobby.
287
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:03,175
Ma, I don't mean
to be disrespectful, but. . .
288
00:17:03,578 --> 00:17:05,011
. . .what the hell
are you saying?
289
00:17:06,738 --> 00:17:09,491
-I mean, what about you?
-Me? I'm fine.
290
00:17:10,218 --> 00:17:11,412
Look, honey. . .
291
00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:13,769
. . .in an ideal world. . .
292
00:17:14,058 --> 00:17:17,095
. . .there'd be no her and your father
would look like Sting.
293
00:17:19,378 --> 00:17:20,970
And I'll tell you something else:
294
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:24,409
Ever since that
poodle-stuffer came along. . .
295
00:17:24,658 --> 00:17:28,776
. . .he's been so ashamed of himself
that he's been more attentive.
296
00:17:28,978 --> 00:17:30,775
He's been more loving.
297
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,408
It's like every day is
our anniversary.
298
00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:35,929
I'm happy for you. . .?
299
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,287
Well, don't be!
300
00:17:38,298 --> 00:17:40,095
Because now everything's screwed up.
301
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:45,611
I just want it the way it was.
302
00:17:45,858 --> 00:17:48,611
Ma, I'm sorry.
303
00:17:48,858 --> 00:17:52,168
I just did what
I thought you'd want.
304
00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:56,172
I know you did, cookie.
I know you did.
305
00:17:59,018 --> 00:18:00,371
So tell me. . . .
306
00:18:01,698 --> 00:18:02,767
Did you see her?
307
00:18:06,258 --> 00:18:08,692
You're ten times prettier
than she is.
308
00:18:08,898 --> 00:18:10,172
That's sweet.
309
00:18:11,938 --> 00:18:13,132
Could I take her?
310
00:18:14,858 --> 00:18:16,974
With this ring, no contest!
311
00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:23,128
-What's wrong, sweetie?
-Nothing. . . .
312
00:18:24,138 --> 00:18:25,776
What's wrong? Come on.
313
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,130
It's nothing. I'm fine.
314
00:18:32,338 --> 00:18:34,215
It's just--
It's my friends.
315
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:37,018
They have a liking problem with you. . .
316
00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:38,407
. . .in that. . .
317
00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:39,977
. . .they don't.
318
00:18:43,458 --> 00:18:44,573
They don't?
319
00:18:45,578 --> 00:18:46,772
But you know. . .
320
00:18:47,018 --> 00:18:49,691
. . .they don't see all
of the wonderfulness that I see.
321
00:18:49,938 --> 00:18:53,294
They don't see all the good stuff
and all the sweet stuff.
322
00:18:53,538 --> 00:18:55,017
They think you're a little. . . .
323
00:18:55,858 --> 00:18:56,734
What?
324
00:18:56,938 --> 00:18:58,087
Intense and creepy.
325
00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:04,606
But I don't. Me, Phoebe.
326
00:19:06,738 --> 00:19:08,888
I'm not at all surprised
they feel that way.
327
00:19:09,098 --> 00:19:11,407
You're not?
That's why you're so great.
328
00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:13,814
Actually, it's
quite typical behavior. . .
329
00:19:14,058 --> 00:19:18,051
. . .when you have this kind
of dysfunctional group dynamic.
330
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,772
You know, this kind of codependent. . .
331
00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:22,576
. . .emotionally stunted. . .
332
00:19:22,858 --> 00:19:27,773
. . .sitting in your stupid coffeehouse,
with your stupid big cups. . .
333
00:19:28,018 --> 00:19:31,215
. . .which, I'm sorry, might as well
have nipples on them.
334
00:19:32,618 --> 00:19:36,896
And you're all like,
''Oh, define me! Define me!
335
00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:39,771
Love me! I need love! ''
336
00:19:41,218 --> 00:19:42,776
So you talked to your dad?
337
00:19:42,978 --> 00:19:45,890
He's gonna keep cheating on Ma,
like she wanted.
338
00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:48,612
Ma's gonna keep pretending
she doesn't know.
339
00:19:48,858 --> 00:19:51,497
And my sister Tina
can't see her husband anymore. . .
340
00:19:51,738 --> 00:19:53,694
. . .because he got
a restraining order.
341
00:19:54,498 --> 00:19:57,968
Which has nothing to do with it,
except that I found out today.
342
00:19:59,138 --> 00:20:01,606
Things have changed here
on Walton's mountain.
343
00:20:03,698 --> 00:20:04,813
So Joey, are you okay?
344
00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:06,487
Yeah, I guess.
345
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,888
It's just--
You know, they're parents.
346
00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:11,971
After a certain point,
you gotta let go.
347
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:13,777
Even if you know better. . .
348
00:20:13,978 --> 00:20:16,367
. . .you gotta let them make
their own mistakes.
349
00:20:16,578 --> 00:20:17,567
And just think. . .
350
00:20:17,778 --> 00:20:19,814
. . .in a few years,
we'll turn into them.
351
00:20:20,058 --> 00:20:21,377
Oh, please!
352
00:20:21,618 --> 00:20:24,576
If I turn into my parents,
I'll either be an alcoholic blond. . .
353
00:20:24,778 --> 00:20:27,212
. . .chasing after 20-year-old boys. . .
354
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,176
. . .or I'll end up like my mom!
355
00:20:35,338 --> 00:20:36,566
How's it going?
356
00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:39,933
Okay, except I broke up with Roger.
357
00:20:42,058 --> 00:20:42,888
Yeah, right!
358
00:20:46,818 --> 00:20:47,614
What happened?
359
00:20:48,178 --> 00:20:50,373
I don't know. I mean. . . .
360
00:20:50,578 --> 00:20:52,011
He's a good person. . .
361
00:20:52,258 --> 00:20:54,055
. . .and he can be really sweet.
362
00:20:54,658 --> 00:20:57,411
And in some ways,
I think he is so right for me.
363
00:20:57,658 --> 00:20:58,613
It's just. . . .
364
00:20:58,858 --> 00:20:59,973
I hate that guy!
365
00:21:09,658 --> 00:21:10,613
What's going on?
366
00:21:10,858 --> 00:21:13,372
Clear the tracks for the boobie
payback express.
367
00:21:13,618 --> 00:21:15,336
Next stop, Rachel Greene.
368
00:21:21,418 --> 00:21:23,693
Joey, what the hell were you doing?
369
00:21:24,178 --> 00:21:26,373
Sorry, wrong boobies!
370
00:21:39,058 --> 00:21:40,127
Hello, Joey!
371
00:21:41,618 --> 00:21:42,767
Hello, dear!
|
1
00:00:16,978 --> 00:00:18,969
- Извини!
- Бог ты мой! Ну все!
2
00:00:19,178 --> 00:00:21,328
Ты просто вламываешься
сюда без стука!
3
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,335
Ты не уважаешь
мою частную жизнь!
4
00:00:23,538 --> 00:00:25,051
- Рэйчел, подожди!
- Нет, ты подожди!
5
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:26,486
Можно я кое-что скажу?
6
00:00:26,698 --> 00:00:27,608
Что?!
7
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:30,969
Ткань не очень плотная,
я все равно вижу
8
00:00:31,858 --> 00:00:32,654
зону сосков.
9
00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:39,686
Эпизод с сиськами.
10
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:26,614
Дорогой, дорогой,
11
00:01:26,858 --> 00:01:29,372
расскажи им историю
о своем пациенте,
12
00:01:29,578 --> 00:01:31,773
который думал, что вещи
на самом деле другие вещи.
13
00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:35,016
например, когда звонит телефон,
она идет принимать душ...
14
00:01:36,738 --> 00:01:38,376
Где-то так это все и выглядит.
15
00:01:39,818 --> 00:01:42,013
Но ты это очень классно
расказываешь, дорогая.
16
00:01:42,258 --> 00:01:43,168
Спасибо.
17
00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:46,972
Теперь уходи, чтобы мы
могли поговорить о тебе.
18
00:01:47,458 --> 00:01:48,811
Хорошо. Я буду скучать.
19
00:01:51,018 --> 00:01:51,814
Правда, классный?
20
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:54,288
Он такой милый. И ты ему
так нравишься.
21
00:01:54,498 --> 00:01:55,408
Я знаю, знаю.
22
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,491
Он действительно милый.
И знаешь, он такой умный.
23
00:01:58,738 --> 00:02:01,810
И для психиатра он не такой уж
и псих, понимаешь?
24
00:02:02,058 --> 00:02:03,935
Думаешь, вы займетесь этим
на его кушетке?
25
00:02:04,178 --> 00:02:06,817
Не знаю. Это как-то странно.
26
00:02:07,058 --> 00:02:08,377
Кушетка же виниловая...
27
00:02:12,578 --> 00:02:14,091
Ребята, еще чего-нибудь хотите?
28
00:02:14,338 --> 00:02:15,771
- Можно мне...
- У нас кончилось.
29
00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:17,206
Кому еще чего?
30
00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:19,890
Я что-то пропустил?
31
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:23,170
Да нет, она все еще сердится
из-за того, что я видел ее сиськи.
32
00:02:23,938 --> 00:02:26,771
Зачем ты смотрел на ее сиськи?
33
00:02:27,018 --> 00:02:27,814
Случайно вышло.
34
00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:31,977
Я не сидел в доме напротив
с телескопом и коробкой пончиков.
35
00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,369
Давайте сменим тему. Пожалуйста.
36
00:02:34,858 --> 00:02:38,567
Потому что - эй! Это не "сиськи",
это ее грудь.
37
00:02:40,058 --> 00:02:43,016
Фиби, я надеялась что мы
сменим тему как-то кардинальнее.
38
00:02:43,938 --> 00:02:47,408
Не понимаю, что тебя так смутило.
Сиськи-то очень красивые.
39
00:02:48,658 --> 00:02:49,773
"Красивые"?
40
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:51,213
Всего лишь "красивые"?
41
00:02:51,458 --> 00:02:54,097
И все?
Я хочу сказать, рукавички бывают "красивые".
42
00:02:56,538 --> 00:02:58,369
Молот, наковальня...
43
00:02:58,578 --> 00:02:59,374
и я.
44
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,007
Ты такой смешной!
45
00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:09,175
Он действительно смешной!
46
00:03:09,538 --> 00:03:13,133
Не хотел бы я быть рядом с тобой,
когда ты перестанешь быть весельчаком.
47
00:03:13,858 --> 00:03:15,257
Здесь по-подробнее, умник.
48
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:18,652
Что ты хотел этим сказать?
49
00:03:19,538 --> 00:03:22,610
По-видимому, у тебя проблемы с личной жизнью.
50
00:03:22,818 --> 00:03:26,493
И ты прибегаешь к юмору, чтобы держать
других на некотором расстоянии.
51
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:31,657
Но конечно - мы только что познакомились,
я не знаю тебя с рождения.
52
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,453
Единственный ребенок, верно?
53
00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:38,008
Родители развелись до полового созревания?
54
00:03:40,778 --> 00:03:41,574
Как ты узнал?
55
00:03:42,258 --> 00:03:43,327
Типичный случай из учебника.
56
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:47,447
Эй, ребята.
57
00:03:47,698 --> 00:03:49,177
Вы же все знаете моего папу, да?
58
00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:51,974
- Вы давно в городе?
- Два дня.
59
00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:53,213
Я устроился на работу в центре.
60
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:55,608
Я лучше останусь у сына...
61
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:57,968
чем буду мотаться туда-сюда на пароме.
62
00:03:58,218 --> 00:03:59,253
Вот этого я не знаю.
63
00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:01,535
Это мой друг Роджер.
64
00:04:01,738 --> 00:04:03,296
- Приятно познакомиться.
- Взаимно.
65
00:04:03,538 --> 00:04:06,211
А что случилось с кукловодом?
66
00:04:06,418 --> 00:04:07,214
Папа!
67
00:04:08,738 --> 00:04:09,773
Извини.
68
00:04:09,978 --> 00:04:11,969
Ладно, Росс, как жена?
69
00:04:14,258 --> 00:04:15,771
Да уж, счет 0:2...
70
00:04:16,538 --> 00:04:18,574
Чэндлер, быстро, скажи
что-нибудь смешное!
71
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:28,777
Мне пора.
72
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:29,973
Я тоже буду скучать.
73
00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:32,209
Люблю тебя, но уже поздно...
74
00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:34,016
Дай я поздороваюсь. Привет, мам!
75
00:04:34,258 --> 00:04:37,773
Слушай, у меня назначена встреча
с доктором Бассида, и...
76
00:04:38,818 --> 00:04:39,967
Простите?
77
00:04:43,338 --> 00:04:44,817
А ты знал, что это не мама?
78
00:04:53,698 --> 00:04:54,608
Ее зовут Ронни.
79
00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,657
Он работает в ритуальном бюро
для домашних животных.
80
00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:02,773
Конечно.
81
00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:05,769
Ну и как долго ты уже...
82
00:05:07,818 --> 00:05:12,096
Помнишь, когда ты был ребенком, мы ходили
смотреть на большие корабли на военной верфи?
83
00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:13,248
С тех самых пор?
84
00:05:13,858 --> 00:05:15,974
Да нет, только шесть лет.
85
00:05:16,178 --> 00:05:17,770
Я просто хотел напомнить тебе
о чем-нибудь приятном,
86
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,090
чтобы ты знал, что я не всегда был
таким ужасным человеком.
87
00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,888
Джоуи, ты когда-нибудь был влюблен?
88
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:28,528
Не знаю.
89
00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:30,577
Значит, не был.
90
00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:32,611
У тебя помидоры подгорают.
91
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:34,007
Кто бы говорил.
92
00:05:36,538 --> 00:05:38,369
Твой папа влюблен - и что?
93
00:05:38,578 --> 00:05:41,251
Самое плохое, что
в двух разных женщин.
94
00:05:41,498 --> 00:05:44,410
Только, умоляю, скажи,
что одна из них - мама.
95
00:05:44,658 --> 00:05:47,456
Конечно одна из них мама.
Да что с тобой такое?
96
00:05:55,658 --> 00:05:58,297
Как будто просыпаешься
однажды утром и узнаешь,
97
00:05:58,498 --> 00:06:00,534
что твой отец вел
двойную жизнь.
98
00:06:00,738 --> 00:06:04,572
Как какой-то шпион,
работающий на ЦРУ.
99
00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:06,406
Это было бы клево!
100
00:06:07,218 --> 00:06:08,571
Противно!
101
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:13,490
Я знаю. Ну вот почему родители не могут
оставаться просто родителями?
102
00:06:13,738 --> 00:06:15,569
Почему им обязательно
нужно стать людьми?
103
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:17,649
Почему им надо...
104
00:06:18,218 --> 00:06:19,173
Почему...
105
00:06:21,258 --> 00:06:24,409
ты пялишься на мою грудь?
106
00:06:25,778 --> 00:06:26,767
Что?
107
00:06:29,058 --> 00:06:30,173
Что?
108
00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:33,612
Ты не насмотрелся в прошлый раз?
109
00:06:33,858 --> 00:06:35,177
Мы все взрослые.
110
00:06:35,378 --> 00:06:38,051
И есть только один способ
решить эту проблему.
111
00:06:38,258 --> 00:06:39,737
Так как ты видел ее сиськи,
112
00:06:39,938 --> 00:06:42,372
тебе придется показать
ей свой писюнчик.
113
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:53,767
Знаешь, как-то я себе
этого не представляю.
114
00:06:54,938 --> 00:06:57,168
Да ладно, давай.
Око за око.
115
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:04,247
Я свое око демонстрировать не собираюсь.
116
00:07:08,258 --> 00:07:10,567
- Это Фиби!
- И Родж!
117
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:12,893
Поднимайтесь.
118
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:15,976
Здорово! Родж пришел.
119
00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:20,215
- А что такое с Роджем?
- Ничего. Так, мелочь.
120
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:22,176
Я его ненавижу!
121
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:26,288
И что? Он был слишком проницателен.
Его работа обязывает.
122
00:07:26,538 --> 00:07:28,335
Брось, не такой уж он плохой.
123
00:07:28,538 --> 00:07:31,211
Вот в этом ты ошибаешься!
С чего бы я женился на ней,
124
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,137
если бы на каком угодно уровне подсознания
я думал, что она - лесбиянка?
125
00:07:35,098 --> 00:07:36,372
Я не знаю.
126
00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,256
Может, ты хотел,
чтобы ваш брак не удался.
127
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:45,369
Почему? С чего бы это?
Почему?
128
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:51,012
Я не знаю.
Может, заниженная самооценка?
129
00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:54,574
Может, чтобы компенсировать ту тень,
которую ты бросал на свою родную сестру.
130
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:57,973
Стоп!
Что там было про сестру?
131
00:07:58,218 --> 00:08:00,778
Ну, я не знаю.
132
00:08:00,978 --> 00:08:04,015
Весьма вероятно, что
ты саботировал свой брак,
133
00:08:04,258 --> 00:08:07,728
чтобы неудачи твоей сестры не казались
такими серьезными в глазах родителей.
134
00:08:11,338 --> 00:08:15,047
Это же смешно!
Я не чувствую вины за ее неудачи.
135
00:08:17,858 --> 00:08:20,292
- Ты считаешь меня неудачницей?
- Разве он не хорош?
136
00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:23,653
Ага. То есть - нет, я не это имел ввиду.
137
00:08:23,858 --> 00:08:25,814
Послушай, все эти годы я думала,
что ты - на моей стороне.
138
00:08:26,058 --> 00:08:28,288
а ты просто подлизывался
к маме с папой,
139
00:08:28,498 --> 00:08:29,567
чтобы стать их любимчиком.
140
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:32,087
Я женился на лесбиянке,
чтобы ты выглядела достойно!
141
00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:37,973
Точно.
142
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,571
Я хочу сказать, ты прав!
143
00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:43,407
Это были не просто неваляшки,
а целый дворец неваляшек,
144
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,174
и круизный лайнер неваляшек
145
00:08:48,418 --> 00:08:52,172
со спасательной шлюпкой,
в которой неваляшки могли не валяться.
146
00:08:53,338 --> 00:08:55,090
Это все очень сложно.
147
00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:58,575
Фибс, если мы не хотим опоздать
в кино, то нам пора идти.
148
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,373
Поправляйся, ладно?
149
00:09:00,578 --> 00:09:02,375
Мы опоздаем, дорогая.
150
00:09:02,578 --> 00:09:04,216
Мон, спасибо за всё.
151
00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:05,288
Без проблем.
152
00:09:05,658 --> 00:09:07,330
Было приятно снова увидиться.
153
00:09:09,938 --> 00:09:12,691
Мон, не налегай на печенье, ладно?
154
00:09:12,938 --> 00:09:14,974
Помни, это просто еда..
155
00:09:15,218 --> 00:09:16,537
...это не любовь
156
00:09:20,858 --> 00:09:22,371
Ненавижу его!
157
00:09:25,938 --> 00:09:27,132
Спокойной ночи, ребята
158
00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:32,572
Смотри!
Это женщина, которую мы заказывали.
159
00:09:37,658 --> 00:09:38,727
Мы можем вам помочь?
160
00:09:39,618 --> 00:09:42,086
Нет, спасибо. Я жду
Джоуи Триббиани.
161
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:44,891
Я - Джоуи Триббиани
162
00:09:45,898 --> 00:09:48,571
О, нет, не тебя. Большой Джоуи.
163
00:09:48,778 --> 00:09:49,767
О, Боже!
164
00:09:49,978 --> 00:09:52,538
Ты намного симпатичней,
чем на фотографиях.
165
00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:56,530
Я Ронни.
166
00:09:59,538 --> 00:10:00,607
Сырные чипсы?
167
00:10:03,058 --> 00:10:04,969
У Джоуи закупорка мозга,
168
00:10:05,578 --> 00:10:06,772
а я от чипсов не откажусь.
169
00:10:14,138 --> 00:10:16,493
В основном люди, когда
умирают их питомцы...
170
00:10:16,738 --> 00:10:19,298
хотят, чтобы их уложили
так, будто они спят.
171
00:10:19,498 --> 00:10:22,535
Но иногда люди хотят
видеть их в других позах.
172
00:10:22,818 --> 00:10:25,378
Например, как будто они
гоняются за своим хвостом
173
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:29,209
или подпрыгивают, чтобы поймать фризби.
174
00:10:30,378 --> 00:10:33,575
Джоуи, если я отойду в мир иной первым - я хочу,
чтобы меня оставили в позе поиска ключей.
175
00:10:35,418 --> 00:10:36,851
Прикольно!
176
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,537
Привет, пап. Ронни здесь.
177
00:10:41,618 --> 00:10:43,017
Привет, детка!
178
00:10:43,858 --> 00:10:46,053
Что ты тут делаешь?
179
00:10:47,378 --> 00:10:48,891
Ты забыл у меня свои волосы.
180
00:10:49,138 --> 00:10:51,413
Я подумала, что они понадобятся
тебе для встречи.
181
00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:55,134
Спасибо.
182
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,533
Итак! Перекинемся в картишки?
183
00:11:03,818 --> 00:11:04,887
Послушай, Я..
184
00:11:05,258 --> 00:11:06,691
Не нужно мне было приходить.
185
00:11:06,938 --> 00:11:09,247
Я лучше пойду.
А то не успею на последний поезд.
186
00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:11,449
Я не хочу, чтобы ты ехала
на поезде так поздно.
187
00:11:11,658 --> 00:11:13,376
Где же мне остаться?
Здесь?
188
00:11:15,338 --> 00:11:16,532
Мы пойдем в отель.
189
00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:18,767
Мы пойдем в отель.
190
00:11:20,258 --> 00:11:22,169
- Нет, не пойдете.
- Нет, не пойдем.
191
00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:25,177
Если вы пойдете в отель,
то кое-чем там займетесь.
192
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:28,211
Так что вы останетесь здесь,
чтобы я мог за вами приглядывать.
193
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,010
Ты будешь приглядывать за нами?
194
00:11:30,218 --> 00:11:31,014
Точно, мистер!
195
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,818
Мне все равно, сколько тебе
лет, но пока ты здесь
196
00:11:34,058 --> 00:11:36,367
...ты будешь жить по моим правилам.
197
00:11:39,778 --> 00:11:42,611
И это значит не спать со своей девушкой.
198
00:11:43,258 --> 00:11:45,772
Ух ты, он строгий.
199
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:47,407
Пап, ты будешь в моей комнате
200
00:11:47,658 --> 00:11:50,536
Ронни, ты будешь спать
в комнате Чэндлера.
201
00:11:50,818 --> 00:11:53,048
Спасибо.
Ты хороший малый.
202
00:11:53,258 --> 00:11:55,214
Пойдем.
Я покажу тебе свою комнату.
203
00:11:56,818 --> 00:12:00,572
Это звучит странно, если не сопровождается
фразой "Нет, спасибо, уже поздно."
204
00:12:04,618 --> 00:12:07,894
Это только на сегодняшнюю ночь.
С завтрашнего дня ты должен измениться.
205
00:12:08,138 --> 00:12:10,527
- Шесть лет - это достаточно долго.
- В каком смысле измениться?
206
00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,655
- Расстаться с Ронни.
- Я не могу!
207
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,412
Тогда все расскажи маме!
Это нечестно!
208
00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:18,532
Я не хочу этого слышать!
Ступай в мою комнату!
209
00:12:32,058 --> 00:12:33,571
Эй, брыкун!
210
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,008
Что ты делаешь?
211
00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:38,577
Пытаюсь устроиться поудобней.
212
00:12:38,818 --> 00:12:41,571
- Я не могу спать в нижнем белье.
- А придется.
213
00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,366
Я вот тут подумал...
214
00:12:49,618 --> 00:12:52,769
о том, что у меня было
столько девушек.
215
00:12:55,618 --> 00:12:58,769
Ты укладываешь их стык
в стык или штабелями?
216
00:12:59,338 --> 00:13:02,216
Ты знаешь, что я имею в виду.
Как я встречаюсь со всеми этими женщинами.
217
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,177
Я всегда думал, что когда
я встречу ту самую,
218
00:13:05,378 --> 00:13:08,575
я смогу быть достаточно смелым
и пройти весь путь до конца.
219
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:11,087
А теперь я смотрю на папу и думаю...
220
00:13:11,298 --> 00:13:13,607
Ты это не он, ты это ты.
221
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:18,167
Когда они хотели, чтобы ты пошел
в бизнес отца, ты поддался?
222
00:13:19,538 --> 00:13:21,847
Нет. Ты выбрал стезю
безработного актера.
223
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,013
Это было нелегко, но ты сделал это.
224
00:13:26,658 --> 00:13:29,491
И я думаю, что когда ты
встретишь свою единственную,
225
00:13:29,698 --> 00:13:31,529
у тебя хватит смелости сказать ей:
226
00:13:31,738 --> 00:13:33,091
"Нет, спасибо, я женат".
227
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:40,767
Ты действительно так считаешь?
228
00:13:42,018 --> 00:13:43,007
Да.
229
00:13:43,258 --> 00:13:44,771
- Спасибо, Чэндлер.
- Отвали!
230
00:13:58,378 --> 00:13:59,174
Могу я помочь?
231
00:13:59,658 --> 00:14:03,333
Джоуи сказал, что я могу воспользоваться
вашим душем, так как в нашем Чэндлер.
232
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:05,974
А вы кто?
233
00:14:06,938 --> 00:14:09,372
О, я Ронни. Ронни Рапалоно.
234
00:14:09,698 --> 00:14:10,494
Любовница?
235
00:14:13,658 --> 00:14:15,216
- Входите.
- Спасибо.
236
00:14:15,418 --> 00:14:17,295
Я Рэйчел.
Ванная там.
237
00:14:17,498 --> 00:14:18,408
Скажи, Ронни..
238
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,774
как долго Чэндлер
в душе?
239
00:14:21,378 --> 00:14:22,697
Минут 5.
240
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:24,973
Отлично
241
00:14:27,098 --> 00:14:28,611
Пристегните ремни..
242
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,376
Время писюнчика!
243
00:14:36,138 --> 00:14:37,366
Привет, Мистер Триббиани
244
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,212
Доброе утро, дорогая.
245
00:14:40,978 --> 00:14:44,766
Чэндлер Бинг, пора посмотреть на твою штучку.
246
00:14:56,178 --> 00:14:59,329
- Что с тобой?
- Я думала это Чэндлер!
247
00:14:59,618 --> 00:15:03,088
Ты должен был быть там, чтобы я
смогла увидеть твою штучку!
248
00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:07,377
Извини, моя штучка
была здесь со мной.
249
00:15:15,978 --> 00:15:16,774
Как дела?
250
00:15:17,018 --> 00:15:17,894
Хорошо.
251
00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:22,291
У Роджера намечается вечеринка,
и он хотел пригласить всех вас.
252
00:15:25,578 --> 00:15:26,454
Что происходит?
253
00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:27,767
Ничего.
254
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:29,567
Просто..
255
00:15:30,738 --> 00:15:31,568
Дело в Роджере.
256
00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:34,452
Что-то есть такое--
257
00:15:35,138 --> 00:15:36,810
В общих чертах,
нам кажется, что он...
258
00:15:37,058 --> 00:15:38,047
Мы его ненавидим!
259
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,453
Ненавидим его!
260
00:15:39,818 --> 00:15:41,137
Прости, Фибс.
261
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:46,015
А вы не думаете, что может быть
это его проницательность...
262
00:15:46,258 --> 00:15:47,816
напугала вас?
263
00:15:48,018 --> 00:15:49,736
- Нет, я его ненавижу!
- Нет, мы его ненавидим!
264
00:15:49,938 --> 00:15:51,053
Мне жаль.
265
00:16:03,818 --> 00:16:05,410
Мам! Что ты здесь делаешь?
266
00:16:05,618 --> 00:16:07,574
Я принесла тебе вот это...
267
00:16:07,818 --> 00:16:09,012
... и вот это!
268
00:16:09,338 --> 00:16:10,657
Аккуратнее, кольцо.
269
00:16:10,978 --> 00:16:13,811
Зачем ты забиваешь голову
отца всякими глупостями,
270
00:16:14,058 --> 00:16:16,572
о том, чтобы все исправить?
271
00:16:16,818 --> 00:16:18,968
Все шло хорошо именно так, как шло!
272
00:16:19,218 --> 00:16:21,778
Там курица. Убери.
273
00:16:22,058 --> 00:16:24,777
Ради Бога, Джоуи!
Ну правда.
274
00:16:27,058 --> 00:16:28,616
Подожди. Ты знала?
275
00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:31,093
Конечно, знала.
А ты как думал?
276
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:33,613
Твой отец - не Джеймс Бонд.
277
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:35,610
Слышал бы ты
его россказни.
278
00:16:35,858 --> 00:16:38,008
"Мне придется остаться на
всю ночь у своего бухгалтера".
279
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,408
В смысле, что это такое?
Умоляю!
280
00:16:40,658 --> 00:16:42,410
И как же ты могла --?
281
00:16:42,618 --> 00:16:45,007
Ты помнишь, каким был твой отец?
282
00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:49,297
Вечно орал.
Ничто его не радовало.
283
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:53,087
Ни столярная мастерская,
ни эти кораблики в бутылке.
284
00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:54,771
Теперь он счастлив.
285
00:16:55,018 --> 00:16:57,486
В смысле, это хорошо.
У него есть хобби.
286
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:03,175
Мам, не хочу показаться
неуважительным, но...
287
00:17:03,578 --> 00:17:05,011
что ты такое несешь?
288
00:17:06,738 --> 00:17:09,491
- В смысле, а как же ты?
- Я? Превосходно.
289
00:17:10,218 --> 00:17:11,412
Послушай, дорогой...
290
00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:13,769
в идеальном мире
291
00:17:14,058 --> 00:17:17,095
не было бы никакой нее, и твой
отец был бы похож на Стинга.
292
00:17:19,378 --> 00:17:20,970
И я тебе еще кое-что скажу.
293
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:24,409
С тех пор, как появилась
эта набивальщица чучел...
294
00:17:24,658 --> 00:17:28,776
ему было так стыдно за самого себя,
что он стал намного внимательнее.
295
00:17:28,978 --> 00:17:30,775
Стал более любящим.
296
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,408
У нас теперь каждый день
как годовщина свадьбы.
297
00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:35,929
И я, типа, рад за тебя...?
298
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,287
Уже нет!
299
00:17:38,298 --> 00:17:40,095
Потому что все пошло кувырком.
300
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:45,611
Я просто хочу, чтобы
все стало как прежде.
301
00:17:45,858 --> 00:17:48,611
Мам, мне жаль.
302
00:17:48,858 --> 00:17:52,168
Я просто сделал то,
что я думал, ты бы хотела.
303
00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:56,172
Я знаю, дорогой.
Я знаю.
304
00:17:59,018 --> 00:18:00,371
Так скажи мне...
305
00:18:01,698 --> 00:18:02,767
Ты ее видел?
306
00:18:06,258 --> 00:18:08,692
Ты в 10 раз лучше ее.
307
00:18:08,898 --> 00:18:10,172
Как мило.
308
00:18:11,938 --> 00:18:13,132
Я бы ее вздула?
309
00:18:14,858 --> 00:18:16,974
С таким-то кольцом? Не вопрос!
310
00:18:20,978 --> 00:18:23,128
- Что не так, дорогая?
- Ничего...
311
00:18:24,138 --> 00:18:25,776
Что случилось? Выкладывай.
312
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,130
Нет, ничего. Я в порядке.
313
00:18:32,338 --> 00:18:34,215
Это просто ...
Это мои друзья.
314
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:37,018
У них возникла проблема..
315
00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:38,407
...с тем, что ты...
316
00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:39,977
... им не нравишься.
317
00:18:43,458 --> 00:18:44,573
Нет?
318
00:18:45,578 --> 00:18:46,772
Но знаешь...
319
00:18:47,018 --> 00:18:49,691
... они не видят всей прелестности, которую вижу
я.
320
00:18:49,938 --> 00:18:53,294
Они не видят всего хорошего и милого.
321
00:18:53,538 --> 00:18:55,017
Они думают что ты немного...
322
00:18:55,858 --> 00:18:56,734
Что?
323
00:18:56,938 --> 00:18:58,087
Жуткий и вредный.
324
00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:04,606
Но я так не думаю. Я, Фиби.
325
00:19:06,738 --> 00:19:08,888
Меня совсем не удивляет,
что они думают именно так.
326
00:19:09,098 --> 00:19:11,407
Нет?
Вот почему ты такой замечательный.
327
00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:13,814
Собственно, это вполне
типичное поведение,
328
00:19:14,058 --> 00:19:18,051
когда налицо такая дисфункциональная
групповая динамика.
329
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,772
Знаешь, такой тип взаимозависимого...
330
00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:22,576
эмоционально неразвитого
331
00:19:22,858 --> 00:19:27,773
просиживания штанов в уродливой кофейне
с большими уродливыми чашками,
332
00:19:28,018 --> 00:19:31,215
к которым, уж прости меня, можно
было приделать еще и соски.
333
00:19:32,618 --> 00:19:36,896
И вы все такие:
"Ах, опиши меня! Опиши!
334
00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:39,771
Люби меня! Мне нужна любовь!"
335
00:19:41,218 --> 00:19:42,776
Так ты поговорил с папой?
336
00:19:42,978 --> 00:19:45,890
Он продолжит изменять
маме, как она и хотела.
337
00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:48,612
Мама продолжит делать вид,
что она ничего не знает.
338
00:19:48,858 --> 00:19:51,497
А моя сестра Тина не сможет
больше видеть своего мужа,
339
00:19:51,738 --> 00:19:53,694
так решил суд.
340
00:19:54,498 --> 00:19:57,968
Это к делу не относится, просто
я узнал об этом сегодня.
341
00:19:59,138 --> 00:20:01,606
Да-а, Америка уже не та, что прежде.
342
00:20:03,698 --> 00:20:04,813
И как, Джоуи, ты в порядке?
343
00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:06,487
Наверное, да.
344
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,888
Просто...
Понимаешь, это же родители.
345
00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:11,971
В какой-то момент просто
нужно смириться.
346
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:13,777
Даже если ты знаешь что-то лучше них...
347
00:20:13,978 --> 00:20:16,367
пусть они сами совершают свои ошибки.
348
00:20:16,578 --> 00:20:17,567
Ты подумай...
349
00:20:17,778 --> 00:20:19,814
через несколько лет
мы превратимся в них.
350
00:20:20,058 --> 00:20:21,377
Я тебя умоляю!
351
00:20:21,618 --> 00:20:24,576
Если я превращусь в моих родителей,
то я буду либо блондином-алкоголиком,
352
00:20:24,778 --> 00:20:27,212
бегающим за 20-ти летними парнями,
353
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,176
либо закончу, как моя мама!
354
00:20:35,338 --> 00:20:36,566
Как дела?
355
00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:39,933
Нормально, если не считать
того, что я порвала с Роджером.
356
00:20:42,058 --> 00:20:42,888
Ага, да!
357
00:20:46,818 --> 00:20:47,614
А что случилось?
358
00:20:48,178 --> 00:20:50,373
Я не знаю. В смысле...
359
00:20:50,578 --> 00:20:52,011
Он хороший человек...
360
00:20:52,258 --> 00:20:54,055
и действительно может быть очень милым.
361
00:20:54,658 --> 00:20:57,411
И в какой-то мере я думаю,
он мне подходит.
362
00:20:57,658 --> 00:20:58,613
Просто...
363
00:20:58,858 --> 00:20:59,973
Я его ненавижу!
364
00:21:09,658 --> 00:21:10,613
Что происходит?
365
00:21:10,858 --> 00:21:13,372
Дорогу скорому поезду
"Месть сиськам".
366
00:21:13,618 --> 00:21:15,336
Следующая остановка - Рэйчел Грин.
367
00:21:21,418 --> 00:21:23,693
Джоуи, что ты вытворяешь?
368
00:21:24,178 --> 00:21:26,373
Прости, не те сиськи!
369
00:21:39,058 --> 00:21:40,127
Привет, Джоуи!
370
00:21:41,618 --> 00:21:42,767
Привет, дорогая!
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