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Парные субтитры для TV фильмов и сериалов на английском и русском языках. Friends - Друзья. 1-10. 1x10 - The One With The Monkey.

 
1
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:11,010
Guys? There's somebody
I'd like you to meet.

2
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,138
Wait, wait. What is that?

3
00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:16,932
That's Marcel. Wanna say hi?

4
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,329
No, I don't.

5
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,531
He is precious!
Where did you get him?

6
00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:22,771
My friend Bethel rescued him
from some lab.

7
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,339
That is so cruel.

8
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,617
Why? Why would a parent
name their child Bethel?

9
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,451
That monkey's got a Ross on his ass!

10
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:40,378
Is he gonna live with you,
like, in your apartment?

11
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:43,578
It's been kind of quiet
since Carol left, so. . . .

12
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,538
Why don't you just get a roommate?

13
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,537
I don't know.
You reach a certain age. . .

14
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,850
. . .having a roommate
is just kind of pathe--

15
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:56,656
Sorry, that's ''pathet,'' which is
Sanskrit for ''cool way to live. ''

16
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,816
The One With the Monkey

17
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,089
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.

18
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,772
I'm doing all-new material tonight.

19
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:53,538
I have 12 new songs about my mother's
suicide and one about a snowman.

20
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,731
Might want to open with the snowman.

21
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:02,853
So how'd it go?

22
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,698
I didn't get the job.

23
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:09,498
How could you not get it?
You were Santa last year!

24
00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:14,733
I don't know. Some fat guy's
sleeping with the store manager.

25
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,417
He's not even jolly.
It's all political.

26
00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:19,729
What are you gonna be?

27
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,737
I'm gonna be one of his helpers.

28
00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:24,813
It's just such a slap in the face,
you know?

29
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,939
Hey, do you guys know
what you're doing for New Year's?

30
00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:32,013
Hey, what? What is wrong
with New Year's?

31
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:36,333
Nothing for you. You have Paolo.
You don't have to face the pressure. . .

32
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:40,368
. . .of finding anything with lips
to kiss when the ball drops!

33
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,178
Man, I'm talking loud!

34
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:47,136
For your information, Paolo's
gonna be in Rome this New Year's.

35
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:49,416
I'll be just as pathetic
as the rest of you.

36
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,139
Yeah, you wish.

37
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:56,094
I'm sick of being a victim
this Dick Clark holiday.

38
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,734
I say this year, no dates,
we make a pact.

39
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,857
Just the six of us. Dinner.

40
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,739
-Sure.
-Fine.

41
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:05,210
I was hoping for a little
more enthusiasm.

42
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:08,776
You're on.

43
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,339
Oh, good.

44
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:13,970
Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen,
back by popular demand. . .

45
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,450
. . .Miss Phoebe Buffay.

46
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:21,969
Thanks. Hi.

47
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:26,495
I want to start with a song that
means a lot to me this time of year.

48
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,578
I made a man with eyes of coal

49
00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:37,892
And a smile so bewitchin '

50
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,968
How was I supposed to know

51
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,973
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?

52
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:53,095
My mother's ashes

53
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,373
Even her eyelashes

54
00:03:56,740 --> 00:04:00,938
Are resting in a little yellow jar

55
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,659
And sometimes when it's freezing

56
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,459
I feel a little sneezy

57
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,535
And now I--
Excuse me? Excuse me?

58
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:14,576
Noisy boys.

59
00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:19,893
Is it something you'd like
to share with the group?

60
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:24,299
No, that's okay.

61
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:27,333
If it's important enough
to discuss while I'm playing. . .

62
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:30,418
. . .I assume it's important enough
for everyone else to hear.

63
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:32,690
That guy's going home with a note.

64
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,656
-I was just saying--
-Could you speak up?

65
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,015
Sorry.

66
00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:46,649
I was saying you were
the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

67
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:49,532
And you said Daryl Hannah. . .

68
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:52,652
. . .was the most beautiful woman
he'd ever seen.

69
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:55,937
And I said I liked her in Splash,
but not in Wall Street.

70
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:58,893
-I thought she had a hard quality.
-A hard quality.

71
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:03,334
And while Daryl Hannah is beautiful
in a conventional way. . .

72
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:07,016
. . .you are luminous
with a kind of delicate grace.

73
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:12,492
Then that's when you started yelling.

74
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,136
Okay, we're gonna take a short break.

75
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:29,132
I think that guy's going home
with more than a note.

76
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,418
Come here, Marcel. Sit here.

77
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,729
Pheebs, I can't believe
he hasn't kissed you yet.

78
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:46,775
I mean, by my sixth date with Paolo,
he'd already named both my breasts.

79
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:52,495
Did I just share too much?

80
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,492
Just a smidge.

81
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:59,530
David's, like, a scientist guy.
He's very methodical.

82
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:00,729
I think it's romantic.

83
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:02,015
Me too!

84
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,571
Did you ever see
An Officer and a Gentleman?

85
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:09,131
He's kind of like the guy
I went to see that with.

86
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:17,733
Except he's smarter and gentler
and sweeter.

87
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:21,130
I just want to be
with him all the time.

88
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:24,531
You know, day and night.
And night and day.

89
00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:27,174
And special occasions.

90
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:32,332
I see where this is going.
You're gonna ask him to New Year's.

91
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:35,140
You'll break the pact.
She's breaking the pact.

92
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,532
Yeah, could I just. . .?

93
00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,450
Yeah, because I already asked Janice.

94
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,768
Come on, this was a pact!
This was your pact!

95
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:49,534
I couldn't handle the pressure
and I snapped!

96
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:52,573
But Janice?
That was the worst breakup in history!

97
00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:55,254
I'm not saying it was a good idea.
I snapped!

98
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:00,057
Hi, sorry I'm late.

99
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,131
Too many jokes.

100
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,819
Must mock Joey.

101
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,171
Nice shoes, huh?

102
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,732
God, you're killing me!

103
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,736
He's playing with my spatulas again!

104
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,374
Look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?

105
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,451
Do you always have to bring him here?

106
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,652
I didn't want to leave him alone.

107
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:35,414
We had our first fight this morning.

108
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:38,811
It has to do with my working late.

109
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:42,018
I said some things that I didn't mean.

110
00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:44,935
He threw some feces.

111
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,256
If you're working late,
I can look in on him.

112
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,931
That would be great!

113
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:57,133
But make sure it seems
like you're there to see him. . .

114
00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:59,940
. . .and you're not doing it
as a favor to me.

115
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,092
Okay. But if he asks,
I'm not going to lie.

116
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:11,810
But you can't actually
test this theory.

117
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:15,973
Because today's particle accelerators
are nowhere near powerful enough. . .

118
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,131
. . .to simulate these conditions.

119
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:20,251
All right. I have a question then.

120
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,011
Were you planning on kissing me ever?

121
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,050
That's definitely a valid question. . .

122
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,256
. . .and the answer. . .

123
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,695
. . .would be yes.

124
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:34,969
Yes, I was.

125
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:42,531
But see, I wanted it to be
this phenomenal kiss. . .

126
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:45,573
. . .that happened at this
phenomenal moment because it's you.

127
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:46,935
Sure.

128
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,928
Right. But the longer I waited,
the more phenomenal the kiss had to be.

129
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:55,059
And now, it's just got to be
one of those things where I. . .

130
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:58,372
. . .sweep everything off the table
and throw you down on it.

131
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:01,134
And I'm not really
a sweeping sort of fella.

132
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:05,254
Oh, David, I think you are
a ''sweeping sort of fella. ''

133
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:09,532
I mean, you're a sweeper
trapped inside a physicist's body.

134
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:11,979
-Really.
-I'm sure of it.

135
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,973
You should just do it.
Just sweep and throw me.

136
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,016
Now?

137
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,813
Right now. Just. . . .

138
00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,734
You know what?
This is just really expensive.

139
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,897
And this was a gift.

140
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:34,813
-Now you're just tidying up.
-Okay, what the hell?

141
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,898
-You want me to actually throw you--?
-I can hop.

142
00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:01,056
Tell me something, what does
''No-Date Pact'' mean to you?

143
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:05,373
I'm sorry. It's just that Chandler
has somebody and Phoebe has somebody.

144
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,497
I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.

145
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,691
Fun Bobby, your ex-boyfriend,
Fun Bobby?

146
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,534
You know more than one Fun Bobby?

147
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,333
I happen to know a Fun Bob.

148
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,573
Okay. Here we go.

149
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,493
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
There's no room for milk.

150
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,736
There. Now there is.

151
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:32,212
So on our no-date evening, three
of you now are gonna have dates.

152
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:33,456
-Four.
-Four.

153
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,928
-Five.
-Five.

154
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:38,180
Sorry. Paolo's catching
an earlier flight.

155
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,776
And I met this really hot
single mom at the store.

156
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:43,978
What's an elf to do?

157
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:48,812
So I'm gonna be the only one standing
there alone when the ball drops?

158
00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:52,735
Come on. We'll have a big party,
and no one will know who's with who.

159
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:54,857
This is so not what I needed now.

160
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,010
What's the matter?

161
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,613
Oh, it's Marcel.

162
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,973
He keeps shutting me out.

163
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,735
He's walking around all the time,
dragging his hands.

164
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:09,218
That's weird. I had a blast
with him the other night.

165
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:11,331
-Really?
-We played. We watched TV.

166
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,969
That juggling thing is amazing.

167
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:18,731
What juggling thing?

168
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:22,292
With the balled-up socks?
I figured you taught him that.

169
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,535
It wasn't that big a deal.
Just balled-up socks.

170
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,255
And a melon.

171
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,650
-Phoebe! Hi!
-Hi, Max. Do you know everybody?

172
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,618
No. Have you seen David?

173
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,453
No, he hasn't been around.

174
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,931
If you see him, tell him to pack.
We are going to Minsk.

175
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,330
Minsk?

176
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,132
Minsk. It's in Russia.

177
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,096
I know where Minsk is.

178
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,535
We got the grant!

179
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,459
Three years, all expenses paid.

180
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:57,368
So when do you leave?

181
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,496
January 1 st.

182
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:18,532
-What are you doing here?
-Max told me about Minsk.

183
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,977
So, you know, congratulations!
This is so exciting!

184
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,691
It'd be even more exciting,
if we were going.

185
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:28,894
Oh, you're not going? Oh, why?

186
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:30,850
Tell her, David.

187
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:35,332
''I don't want to go to Minsk to work
with Lipson and Yamaguchi and Flank.

188
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,014
I want to stay here and make out
with my girlfriend! ''

189
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,572
Okay, thank you, Max.
Thank you.

190
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,572
So you're really not going?

191
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:47,857
I don't know. I don't know
what I'm gonna do. I just. . . .

192
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:49,456
You decide.

193
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,135
-Don't do that.
-Please?

194
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:52,329
But I'm asking you.

195
00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:53,979
I can't make a decision.

196
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:55,972
-Please, just--
-Okay. Stay.

197
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,499
-Stay.
-Stay.

198
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,938
Getting so good at that!

199
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,258
It was Max's stuff.

200
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:22,970
I love this artichoke thing.

201
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:26,576
Don't tell me what's in it.
The diet starts tomorrow.

202
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:32,139
You remember Janice.

203
00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:35,289
Vividly.

204
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:44,450
Hi, I'm Sandy.

205
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,816
Sandy, hi. Come on in.

206
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:57,336
You brought your kids.

207
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,252
Yeah. That's okay, right?

208
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,899
Party!

209
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,654
That thing is not coming in here!

210
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:10,131
''That thing''? This is how
you greet guests at a party?

211
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:14,009
If I showed up with my new girlfriend,
she wouldn't be welcome?

212
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,492
Your new girlfriend
wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.

213
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:21,817
He was more embarrassed
about that than anyone.

214
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,175
And for him to have the courage
to walk back in here. . .

215
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,419
. . .like nothing happened. . . .

216
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:33,452
All right. All right.
Just keep him away from me.

217
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,895
Thank you. Come on, Marcel.

218
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:38,655
What do you say you and I
do a little mingling?

219
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:41,054
All right. . .

220
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,931
. . .I'll catch up with you later.

221
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:50,892
Oh, my God! Rachel, honey. . .

222
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,698
. . .are you okay?

223
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:54,969
Where's Paolo?

224
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:56,609
Rome.

225
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:58,612
Jerk missed his flight.

226
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,573
And then your face exploded?

227
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,139
I was at the airport
getting into a cab. . .

228
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,659
. . .when this woman. . .

229
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,494
. . .this blond planet
with a pocketbook. . .

230
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,574
. . .starts yelling at me.

231
00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,334
Something about how
it was her cab first.

232
00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:21,414
The next thing I know, she just
starts pulling me out by my hair!

233
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:24,379
And I started blowing my attack
whistle thingy. . .

234
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:27,134
. . .and then three more cabs show up.

235
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:31,777
So as I'm going to get into a cab,
she tackles me!

236
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:37,135
And I hit my head on the curb
and cut my lip on my whistle.

237
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,896
Everybody having fun at the party?

238
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,135
Are people eating my dip?

239
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,969
When I saw you at the store
last week. . .

240
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:02,818
. . .it was probably the first time
I ever mentally undressed an elf.

241
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:06,851
Wow, that's dirty!

242
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,016
Hey, kids.

243
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,856
Look at him. I'm not saying he has
to spend the whole evening with me. . .

244
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,772
. . .but at least check in.

245
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,051
There you are!

246
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:28,060
You got away from me.

247
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,291
But you found me.

248
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,218
Here, Ross, take our picture.

249
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:35,696
Smile. You're on Janice Camera.

250
00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:38,138
Kill me. Kill me now.

251
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,732
Everybody, it's Fun Bobby!

252
00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:47,935
Hey, sorry I'm late.

253
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,131
But my grandfather. . .

254
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,978
. . .died about two hours ago.

255
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:56,059
But I couldn't get a flight
out till tomorrow, so. . .

256
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:57,774
. . .here I am.

257
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,415
Hey, Fun Bobby!
How's it going, man?

258
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:02,334
Whoa! Who died?

259
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,373
It's going to be an open casket,
you know?

260
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:14,218
So at least I'll get to see him again.

261
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:21,571
I'm gonna blow this one up and
I'm gonna write ''Reunited'' in glitter.

262
00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:23,776
All right, Janice, that's it!

263
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,258
When I invited you, I didn't
think it meant that we--

264
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,650
Oh, no!

265
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,855
-I'm sorry you misunderstood.
-Oh, my God!

266
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:42,336
You listen to me!
You listen to me!

267
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:47,131
One of these times, it's just gonna be
your last chance with me!

268
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,851
Will you give me the thing?

269
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,176
Hi, Max.

270
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:56,655
Yoko.

271
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,697
I've decided to go to Minsk
without you.

272
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,132
It won't be the same. . .

273
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:10,932
. . .but it will still be Minsk.

274
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:12,698
Happy New Year.

275
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:15,539
Are you all right?

276
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,817
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

277
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,455
You're going to Minsk.

278
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,531
No, I'm not going to Minsk.

279
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:32,332
Oh, you are so going to Minsk.

280
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:35,458
You belong in Minsk.
You can't stay here just for me.

281
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,772
Yes, I can. Because if I go,
it means I have to break up with you.

282
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:42,137
-And I can't break up with you.
-Oh, yes. Yes, you can.

283
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:46,572
Just say, ''Phoebe, I love you,
but my work is my life.

284
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,412
That's what I have to do now. ''

285
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:51,413
And I say, ''Your work?
How can you say that?''

286
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,575
And then you say,
''It's tearing me apart. . .

287
00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:58,334
. . .but I have no choice.
Can't you understand that?''

288
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,252
And I say, ''No!

289
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,139
No! I can't understand that! ''

290
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,170
Sorry.

291
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,380
And then you put
your arms around me. . . .

292
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:10,333
Put your arms around me.

293
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:11,695
Sorry.

294
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:16,290
And then you tell me you love me
and you'll never forget me.

295
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,535
I'll never forget you.

296
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,579
Then you say that it's almost
midnight and you have to go. . .

297
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:28,211
. . .because you don't want to start
the year with me if you can't finish it.

298
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,739
I'm gonna miss you. . .

299
00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:37,852
. . .you scientist guy.

300
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,017
Hi, this is Dick Clark live
in Times Square.

301
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:46,936
We're in a virtual snowstorm
of confetti here in Times Square.

302
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,818
It gets better every year.

303
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,413
Here you go, kids.

304
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,934
And then the peacock bit me.

305
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,452
Please kiss me at midnight!

306
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:02,250
You seen Sandy?

307
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,775
I don't know how to tell you this. . .

308
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:08,808
. . .but she's in the bedroom getting it
on with Max, that scientist geek.

309
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:11,529
Cool, look at that.
I did know how to tell you.

310
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,935
Hey, everybody, the ball is going.

311
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,129
What?

312
00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:18,891
The ball is dropping!

313
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,695
In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.

314
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,539
And the moment of joy is upon us.

315
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:29,938
Looks like that ''No-Date Pact'' thing
worked out.

316
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:32,729
Everybody looks so happy.
I hate that!

317
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,135
Not everybody is happy.
Hey, Bobby!

318
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:37,934
--four, three, two. . .

319
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,859
. . .one! Happy New Year!

320
00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:45,658
I just thought I'd throw this out.
I'm no math whiz. . .

321
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:50,132
. . .but I do believe there are
three girls and three guys right here.

322
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:54,773
I don't feel like kissing
anyone tonight.

323
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,738
I can't kiss anyone.

324
00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:58,658
So I'm kissing everyone?

325
00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:01,416
You can't kiss Ross.
That's your brother.

326
00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:05,059
Perfect. So now everybody's
getting kissed but me.

327
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:06,528
Somebody kiss me.

328
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:10,369
Somebody kiss me! It's midnight!
Somebody kiss me! It's midnight!

329
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,451
All right! All right! All right!

330
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:13,809
There!

331
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,568
I wanted this to work so much.

332
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:25,858
I'm still in there, you know?

333
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:29,012
Changing his diapers.
Picking his fleas.

334
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:31,735
But he's just phoning it in.

335
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:35,648
It's hard to accept
that something you love so much. . .

336
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,016
. . .doesn't love you back, you know?

337
00:21:38,780 --> 00:21:41,738
I think that bitch cracked my tooth.

1
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:11,010
Ребята? Хочу вас кое с кем познакомить.

2
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,138
Минуточку, минуточку. Это что такое?

3
00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:16,932
Это Марсель. Скажите "привет".

4
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:18,329
Нет уж.

5
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,531
- Какая прелесть!
- Откуда он у тебя?

6
00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:22,771
Мой приятель Свят вызволил его из какой-то лаборатории.

7
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,339
Какя жестокость!

8
00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:27,617
Как? Как можно давать ребенку имя "Свят"?

9
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,451
Эй, у этой обезьяны Росс на заднице.

10
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:40,378
Ты собираешься оставить его
жить у себя? В твоей квартире?

11
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:43,578
Да. Ведь, с тех пор, как ушла Кэрол,
там довольно тихо, так что...

12
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,538
Завел бы себе соседа

13
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,537
Не знаю. В моем возрасте

14
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,850
иметь соседа как-то жал...

15
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:56,656
Я хотел сказать сказать "жалкха" -
на санксрите это означает "классно".

16
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,816
Эпизод с обезьянкой.

17
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,772
У меня сегодня абсолютно новая программа.

18
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:53,538
В ней 12 новых песен о самоубийстве моей матери и одна про снеговика.

19
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,731
Лучше тебе начать со снеговика.

20
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:02,853
И как дела?

21
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,698
Я не получил работу

22
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:09,498
Как это могло случиться? Ты же был Сантой в прошлом году!

23
00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:14,733
Я не знаю. Какой-то жирный мужик, наверное,
переспал с менеджером магазина.

24
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:17,417
Он даже не веселый.
Это все интриги.

25
00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:19,729
И кем ты будешь?

26
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,737
Я буду одним из его помощников.

27
00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:24,813
Знаешь, это как пощечина.

28
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,939
Эй, ребята, какие планы на новый год?

29
00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:32,013
Что? Что плохого в Новом годе?

30
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:36,333
Для тебя ничего. У тебя есть
Паоло и нет проблемы

31
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:40,368
найти хоть что-то с губами и поцеловать
это, когда часы пробьют 12!

32
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,178
Господи, как я громко говорю!

33
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:47,136
К твоему сведению, Паоло будет
в Риме на этот Новый год,

34
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:49,416
поэтому я буду так же несчастна, как и вы.

35
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,139
Ага, как бы не так.

36
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:56,094
Я устал быть жертвой этого шоу Дика Кларка.

37
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,734
Давайте уговор - в этом году
никто никого не приводит.

38
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:00,857
Только шестеро нас и ужин.

39
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,739
- Конечно.
- Отлично.

40
00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:05,210
Я надеялся на чуть больший энтузиазм.

41
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:08,776
Фиби, твой выход.

42
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:10,339
О, хорошо.

43
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:13,970
Здравствуйте! Дамы и господа,
по просьбам слушателей с нами вновь...

44
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,450
Мисс Фиби Буффе.

45
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:21,969
Спасибо. Всем привет!

46
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:26,495
Я хочу начать с песни, которая много значит для меня
в это время года.

47
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,578
Слепила я снеговика.

48
00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:37,892
Такой он милый, такой пухлый!

49
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,968
Откуда же мне было знать,

50
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,973
что мама мертвая лежит на кухне.

51
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:53,095
И прах моей матери

52
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,373
Даже ее ресницы

53
00:03:56,740 --> 00:04:00,938
Покоятся в маленькой желтой урне

54
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,659
И иногда, когда дует ветерок,

55
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:10,459
Я чувствую щекотание в носу

56
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,535
И теперь я...
Простите? простите?!

57
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:14,576
Шумные мальчики.

58
00:04:17,220 --> 00:04:19,893
Вы хотите что-то сказать остальным?

59
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:24,299
Нет, нет, не стоит.

60
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:27,333
Если так важно обсуждать это
в тот момент, когда я играю,

61
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:30,418
то смею предположить, что это будет
так же важно услышать и остальным.

62
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:32,690
Этот парень получит замечание в дневник.

63
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,656
- Я просто сказал...
- Могли бы вы говорить громче?

64
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,015
Простите.

65
00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:46,649
Я говорил, что вы -
самая красивая девушка из всех, что я видел.

66
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:49,532
А он сказал, что Дэрил Ханна...

67
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:52,652
... самая красивая из всех, что видел он.

68
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:55,937
Я сказал, что в фильме "Всплеск" она была хороша,
но не в "Уолл-Стрит".

69
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:58,893
- Мне кажется, она слишком резка.
- Слишком резка.

70
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:03,334
И в то время, как Дэрил Ханна красива
по общепринятым меркам...

71
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:07,016
вы излучаете какую-то особенную грацию.

72
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:12,492
А потом вы начали кричать.

73
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,136
Ладно, сделаем небольшой перерыв.

74
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:29,132
Я думаю, этот парень получит не только
замечание в дневник.

75
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,418
Иди сюда, Марсель. Садись сюда.

76
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,729
Фибс, мне не верится, что
он тебя еще не поцеловал.

77
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:46,775
Я имею ввиду, что Паоло к нашему шестому свиданию
уже дал имена моим грудям.

78
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:52,495
Я слишком откровенна?

79
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,492
Совсем чуть-чуть.

80
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:59,530
Понимаете, Дэвид, он как бы ученый.
Он очень методичен.

81
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:00,729
Мне кажется это романтично.

82
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:02,015
Мне тоже!

83
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,571
Вы видели фильм "Офицер и джентльмен"?

84
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:09,131
Он похож на парня, с которым
я смотрела это кино.

85
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:17,733
Только он умнее, деликатнее и симпатичнее.

86
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:21,130
Мне просто хочется быть с ним все время.

87
00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:24,531
Знаете, и ночь, и день.
И день, и ночь.

88
00:06:24,740 --> 00:06:27,174
И по праздникам.

89
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:32,332
Я, кажется, понимаю, к чему ты клонишь.
Ты хочешь пригласить его на Новый год.

90
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:35,140
Она нарушает условия соглашения!

91
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,532
Нет, нет, нет... Вообще-то да, а можно?

92
00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,450
Давай. Потому что я уже пригласил Дженис.

93
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,768
Да ведь у нас был уговор!
И это ты его предложил!

94
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:49,534
Я не мог устоять и пал под напором!

95
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:52,573
Но Дженис?
Это же было самое ужасное расставание в истории!

96
00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:55,254
Я не говорю, что это была хорошая идея.
Я пал!

97
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:00,057
Простите, я задержался.

98
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,131
Слишком много шуток.

99
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,819
Нужно... смеяться... над Джоуи...

100
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,171
Хорошие туфли, да?

101
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,732
Боже, ты меня убиваешь!

102
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,736
Он опять играет моими лопаточками!

103
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,374
Не волнуйся, он с ними ничего не сделает.

104
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,451
Ты его всегда будешь сюда приносить?

105
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,652
Мне не хочется оставлять его одного.

106
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:35,414
Мы утром в первый раз поссорились.

107
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:38,811
Из-за того, что я вернулся поздно с работы.

108
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:42,018
Я ему наговорил всякого, чего на самом деле не думал.

109
00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:44,935
А он бросил в меня свою какашку.

110
00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,256
Если ты задерживаешься, я могу присматривать за ним

111
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,931
Было бы здорово!

112
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:57,133
Но только чтобы он думал,
что ты пришел из-за него,

113
00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:59,940
а не потому, что
делаешь мне одолжение.

114
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,092
Ладно. Но если он спросит, я не буду врать.

115
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:11,810
Но на самом деле эту
теорию проверить невозможно,

116
00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:15,973
потому что мощность современных
ускорителей частиц не позволяет

117
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,131
смоделировать эти условия.

118
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:20,251
Понятно. Тогда у меня вопрос.

119
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:23,011
Ты вообще собирался меня
когда-нибудь поцеловать?

120
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,050
Вопрос, безусловно, справедливый,

121
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,256
и ответ на него будет...

122
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,695
"да".

123
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:34,969
Да, собирался.

124
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:42,531
Но понимаешь, я хотел, чтобы это был феноменальный поцелуй...

125
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:45,573
...в такой феноменальный момент, потому что это - ты.

126
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:46,935
Конечно.

127
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:50,928
Верно. Но чем дольше я ждал, тем более
феноменальным должен был стать этот поцелуй.

128
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:55,059
И теперь он должен стать таким - я...

129
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:58,372
должен смести все со стола
и швырнуть тебя на него.

130
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:01,134
А я не чувствую себя парнем,
способным что-то смести.

131
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:05,254
Дэвид, я думаю,
что ты как раз такой парень.

132
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:09,532
Я хочу сказать, что ты сметатель, заключенный в тело физика.

133
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:11,979
- Правда.
- Я уверена.

134
00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:14,973
Ты просто так и сделай.
Смети и брось меня.

135
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,016
Сейчас?

136
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,813
Прямо сейчас. Только...

137
00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,734
Знаешь что?
Эта штука действительно очень дорого стоит.

138
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,897
А это - подарок.

139
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:34,813
- И сейчас ты просто наводишь порядок.
- Хорошо. А, к чертям все!

140
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:41,898
- Ты хочешь, чтобы я действительно бросил тебя...?
- Я могу запрыгнуть.

141
00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:01,056
Вот скажите - что для вас означает:
"Уговор никого не приводить с собой"?

142
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:05,373
Извини. Просто у Чэндлера
кто-то есть, у Фиби тоже.

143
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,497
Я подумала, что позову Веселого Бобби.

144
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,691
Веселого Бобби?
Твоего бывшего парня, Веселого Бобби?

145
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,534
А что, ты знаешь много Веселых Бобби?

146
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,333
Я знаю Веселого Боба.

147
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:17,573
Пожалуйста.

148
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,493
Эй-эй-эй!
Тут нет места для молока.

149
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,736
Вот, теперь есть.

150
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:32,212
Значит, в вечер, когда никто никого не должен
приводить, трое из вас все-таки приведут кого-то.

151
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:33,456
- Четверо.
- Четверо.

152
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,928
- Пятеро.
- Пятеро.

153
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:38,180
Извините. Паоло успевает
на более ранний рейс.

154
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,776
А я встретил в магазине такую
сексапильную незамужнюю мамочку.

155
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:43,978
Что еще эльфу остается?

156
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:48,812
Значит, я один буду стоять в одиночестве,
когда часы пробьют 12?

157
00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:52,735
Да брось ты. Будет много народу, никто
и знать не будет, кто с кем пришел.

158
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:54,857
Для меня сейчас не это важно.

159
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:56,010
Что случилось?

160
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,613
Ну, дело в Марселе.

161
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,973
Он отгораживается от меня.

162
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:05,735
Постоянно ходит кругами, волоча руки.

163
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:09,218
Странно. Позавчера вечером
мы здорово повеселились.

164
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:11,331
- Правда?
- Мы играли, смотрели телек.

165
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,969
Чудно пожонглировали.

166
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:18,731
Жонглировали?

167
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:22,292
Свернутыми в мячик носками?
Я думал, это ты его научил.

168
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,535
Это не так важно.
Просто свернутые носки.

169
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,255
И дыней.

170
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,650
- Фиби! Привет!
- Привет, Макс. Ты со всеми знаком?

171
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,618
Нет. Ты Дэвида не видела?

172
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,453
Нет. Вроде он еще не пришел.

173
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,931
Если увидишь его, скажи ему,
чтобы он начал собирать чемоданы. Мы едем в Минск.

174
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,330
Минск?

175
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,132
Минск. Это в России.

176
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,096
Я знаю, где Минск...

177
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,535
Мы получили грант!

178
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,459
Три года, с оплатой всех расходов.

179
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:57,368
И когда вы уезжаете?

180
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,496
Первого января.

181
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:18,532
- Что ты здесь делаешь?
- Макс сказал мне про Минск.

182
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,977
Значит, ты в курсе, поздравляю!
Это же так здорово!

183
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,691
А было бы еще лучше,
если бы мы туда все же ехали.

184
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:28,894
А вы не едете? А почему?

185
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:30,850
Дэвид, скажи ей.

186
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:35,332
"Я не хочу ехать в Минск
и работать с Липсоном, Ямагучи и Флэнком.

187
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,014
Я хочу остаться здесь и целоваться со своей подругой!"

188
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,572
Хорошо, спасибо, Макс.
Спасибо.

189
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,572
Значит, ты действительно не едешь?

190
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:47,857
Я не знаю. Я не знаю, что мне делать. Я просто...

191
00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:49,456
Ты решай.

192
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,135
- Не надо так.
- Ну, пожалуйста?

193
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:52,329
А я прошу тебя.

194
00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:53,979
Я не могу принять решение.

195
00:12:54,220 --> 00:12:55,972
- Пожалуйста, просто...
- Хорошо. Оставайся.

196
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,499
- Остаться.
- Оставайся.

197
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,938
А у тебя уже намного лучше получается!

198
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,258
Это вещи Макса.

199
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:22,970
Я обожаю эти штуки с артишоками.

200
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:26,576
Не говори мне, из чего она.
Диета начнется завтра.

201
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:32,139
Ты же помнишь Дженис?

202
00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:35,289
Отчетливо.

203
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:44,450
Привет, я - Сэнди.

204
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,816
Привет, Сэнди. Проходи.

205
00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:57,336
Ты привела детей.

206
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,252
Ага. Ничего же страшного?

207
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,899
Вечеринка!

208
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,654
Это существо сюда не войдет!

209
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:10,131
"Это существо"?
Так-то встречаешь гостей на вечеринке?

210
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:14,009
А если бы со мной была новая девушка,
ты бы тоже так сказала?

211
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,492
Твоя новая подруга не стала бы мочиться на мой кофейный столик!

212
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:21,817
Он переживал из-за этого больше остальных!

213
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,175
И все же он нашел мужество прийти сюда,

214
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,419
как будто ничего не случилось.

215
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:33,452
Ладно, ладно.
Только пусть держится от меня подальше.

216
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,895
Спасибо. Пошли, Марсель.

217
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:38,655
А что, если мы с тобой, так сказать,
немного пообщаемся?

218
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:41,054
Ладно...

219
00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:43,931
... попозже пересечемся.

220
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:50,892
Боже мой! Рэйчел, дорогая...

221
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,698
... что-то случилось?

222
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:54,969
А где Паоло?

223
00:14:55,620 --> 00:14:56,609
В Риме.

224
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:58,612
Этот олух опоздал на самолет.

225
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,573
И потом твое лицо взорвалось?

226
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,139
Я в аэропорту садилась в такси...

227
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,659
а потом эта тетка,

228
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,494
эта белобрысая громадина с сумочкой

229
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:14,574
начала на меня орать.

230
00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,334
Что она, мол, первая, и это ее такси.

231
00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:21,414
И потом она просто начала вытаскивать меня из такси за волосы!

232
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:24,379
А я начала свистеть в свой защитный свисточек...

233
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:27,134
и подъехали еще три такси.

234
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:31,777
И когда я уже садилась в такси,
она на меня набросилась!

235
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:37,135
И я ударилась головой о бордюр и порезала свистком губу.

236
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,896
Все веселятся на вечеринке?

237
00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:46,135
Гости попробовали мой соус?

238
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,969
Когда на прошлой неделе я увидела тебя в магазине...

239
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:02,818
наверное, впервые в жизни я мысленно раздела эльфа.

240
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:06,851
Ух ты, пошловато!

241
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,016
О, детишки.

242
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,856
Ну, посмотри. Я не говорю, что он должен проводить весь вечер со мной..

243
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,772
... но мог хотя бы изредка подходить.

244
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,051
Вот ты где!

245
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:28,060
Ты от меня сбежал!

246
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,291
Но ты меня нашла!

247
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,218
Эй, Росс, сфоткай нас.

248
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:35,696
Улыбнитесь! Вас снимает камера Дженис.

249
00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:38,138
Убейте меня. Немедленно.

250
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,732
Ребята, это Веселый Бобби!

251
00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:47,935
Привет, извини, что опоздал.

252
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,131
Мой дедушка...

253
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,978
умер пару часов назад.

254
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:56,059
А ближайший рейс только утром...

255
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:57,774
вот я и пришел.

256
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,415
Эй, Веселый Бобби!
Как делишки?

257
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:02,334
Да уж. Кто-то умер, что ли?

258
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,373
Гроб будет открытый.

259
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:14,218
Так что я смогу взглянуть на него еще раз.

260
00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:21,571
Вот этот я надую и напишу на нем
блестящими буквами: "Снова вместе".

261
00:17:21,820 --> 00:17:23,776
Так, Дженис, хватит!

262
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,258
Когда я пригласил тебя, то не думал,
что это значит, что мы...

263
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:33,650
О, нет!

264
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,855
- Мне очень жаль, что ты неправильно меня поняла.
- Бог ты мой!

265
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:42,336
Выслушай меня!
Выслушай меня!

266
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:47,131
Если ты будешь продолжать так поступать,
то я тебя брошу.

267
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,851
Дай сюда!

268
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,176
Привет, Макс.

269
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:56,655
Йоко.

270
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,697
Я решил ехать в Минск без тебя.

271
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,132
Это будет по-другому...

272
00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:10,932
... но все же в Минске.

273
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:12,698
С Новым Годом!

274
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:15,539
Ты как? Нормально?

275
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,817
Да, да, все в порядке.

276
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,455
Ты едешь в Минск.

277
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,531
Нет, я не еду в Минск.

278
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:32,332
Ты еще как едешь в Минск.

279
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:35,458
Ты нужен там.
Ты не можешь остаться только из-за меня.

280
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,772
Нет, могу. Потому что если я поеду,
значит придется расстаться с тобой.

281
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:42,137
- А я не могу расстаться с тобой.
- Нет, можешь, можешь.

282
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:46,572
Просто скажи: "Фиби, я люблю тебя,
но моя работа - это моя жизнь.

283
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,412
Именно так я должен поступить сейчас".

284
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:51,413
А я скажу:
"Твоя работа? Да как ты можешь так говорить?"

285
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,575
А потом ты скажешь:
"Я и так ужасно страдаю...

286
00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:58,334
... но у меня нет выбора. Неужели ты не понимаешь?"

287
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,252
А я скажу: "Нет!

288
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,139
Нет! Я не понимаю!"

289
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,170
Извини.

290
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,380
А потом ты обнимешь меня...

291
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:10,333
Обними меня.

292
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:11,695
Извини.

293
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:16,290
И потом ты скажешь, что любишь меня, и что ты никогда меня не забудешь.

294
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,535
Я никогда тебя не забуду.

295
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,579
А потом ты скажешь, что уже почти полночь, и тебе пора...

296
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:28,211
потому что ты не хочешь начинать год
с тем, с кем не сможешь его закончить.

297
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,739
Я буду скучать по тебе...

298
00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:37,852
мой ученый парень.

299
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,017
Привет. Это Дик Кларк в прямом эфире на Таймс Сквер.

300
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:46,936
Здесь, на Таймс Сквер, разбушевалась метель конфетти.

301
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:48,818
С каждым годом становится все лучше.

302
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,413
Вот так, детки.

303
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,934
А потом павлин клюнул меня.

304
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,452
Поцелуй меня в полночь, пожалуйста!

305
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:02,250
Ты не видел Сэнди?

306
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,775
Даже не знаю, как бы это сказать...

307
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:08,808
но она заперлись в спальне
с тем чокнутым ученым, Максом.

308
00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:11,529
Здорово. Оказывается, я знал, как это сказать.

309
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,935
Эй, все! Сейчас будут бить.

310
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,129
Что?

311
00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:18,891
Сейчас часы будут бить!

312
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,695
Полночь через 20 секунд.

313
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,539
И радость снизошла на нас.

314
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:29,938
Похоже, мы все-таки выполнили условия нашего уговора.

315
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:32,729
Все выглядят такими счастливыми.
Терпеть этого не могу!

316
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,135
Кстати, не все счастливы.
Эй, Бобби!

317
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:37,934
- четыре, три, два...

318
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,859
... один! С Новым годом!

319
00:20:42,780 --> 00:20:45,658
Я просто подумал, что скажу это.
Я не мастак считать...

320
00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:50,132
но мне кажется, что у нас здесь
как раз три девушки и три парня.

321
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:54,773
Что-то мне никого не хочется сегодня целовать.

322
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,738
А я не могу никого поцеловать.

323
00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:58,658
Значит, всех целую я?

324
00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:01,416
Ты не можешь целовать Росса.
Он же твой брат.

325
00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:05,059
Превосходно. Значит, поцелуют всех, кроме меня.

326
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:06,528
Кто-нибудь, поцелуйте меня!

327
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:10,369
Кто-нибудь, поцелуйте меня! Уже полночь!
Кто-нибудь, поцелуйте меня! Уже полночь!

328
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,451
Хорошо! Ладно! Ладно!

329
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:13,809
Вот так!

330
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,568
Я так хотел, чтобы у нас все получилось.

331
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:25,858
И до сих пор хочу.

332
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:29,012
Меняю памперсы.
Ловлю блох.

333
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:31,735
А ему это просто безразлично.

334
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:35,648
Очень трудно признать, что тот, кого ты любишь всем сердцем...

335
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,016
не любит тебя, понимаешь?

336
00:21:38,780 --> 00:21:41,738
По-моему, эта стерва сломала мне зуб.

 

 
 
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